Chapter Seven
Ignorance is like a delicate flower: touch it and the bloom is gone.~Oscar Wilde
Spike could not stop laughing. He stood outside the pen where Buffy and Alicia were feeding the goats, and was laughing hysterically at them. One of the goats seemed to have decided to target his girls and would occasionally butt his head into their rear ends while they fed another goat. At first, the look on their faces had been priceless and he'd wished he'd had a camera to capture it, and now he was laughing right along with them.
Coming over, giggling, Buffy and Alicia exited the pen and Alicia immediately went to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, something that never failed to warm his heart. "Daddy, did you see that goat?"
He smiled, "Couldn't miss it, baby."
"Why don't you go in there and get poked too?"
Buffy laughed, "Your Dad gets poked enough."
Spike shot her a look and Buffy grinned.
"You know what we haven't seen yet," Spike began casually, wrapping one arm around Alicia's shoulders and the other around Buffy's, "We haven't seen the snakes."
Both girls wrinkled their noses and Buffy visibly shuddered at the thought.
He nudged them along, steering them towards the 'Snake Pit' as it was aptly named. Walking along the ecotariums that housed many of the snakes, Alicia and Buffy cuddled closer to him. When they came across a particularly large boa constrictor hanging along a thick branch, Buffy shuddered and Alicia looked away.
"Not to be a wimp, but," Buffy looked up him, her green eyes pleading, "Can we skip the snakes?"
He grinned devilishly, "Why would I want to do that when I have my two best girls cuddling up to me for protection?"
She gave him a weary look and he acquiesced. "How about some lunch, ladies?"
***************
"She's so much like you," Buffy noted later that day as she and Spike sat together on a park bench with ice cream cones, watching Alicia on the swings chatting up the kids around her.
"Good thing or a bad thing?"
"Well, look at her. The way she'll just talk to anyone. Though, she does have Sam's attitude, so she won't take crap off anyone."
"You saying I take crap off people?"
She looked at him, "You do remember Harmony, right?"
He groaned, "I have a vague recollection of that yeah."
"My, how your tune has changed from 'I miss her' to 'vague recollection'."
"Well, it's not like I can't still get laid."
"That was the big picture by William Giles," Buffy said, adopting a broadcaster's voice and then glared at him.
"Okay, listen, that was a joke," Spike said and nudged her with his elbow.
"Or not so much a joke since you lied to me in order to prove that theory last night," Buffy said quietly.
Spike sobered immediately. "Buffy, I really am sor-"
"Please don't. You've apologized more than enough already."
"I'm a bastard."
"Yep."
"A wanker."
"Yep."
"A stupid, sodding ponce."
"Yep."
"Feel free to disagree with me at any time, Buffy."
She smiled cheekily, "I will when you say something that I disagree with."
Their eyes met and held, as did Spike's breath. God, she was gorgeous. An angel, really, and he didn't mind telling her just that.
She shook her head, "I'm not an angel. I'm a mere mortal."
"Alicia loves you, Sam loves you. . . She’s the devil, Buffy and the devil even loves you. You are an angel."
Buffy cocked her head to the side and regarded him thoughtfully. "Do you love me?"
He nodded, "More than you know, Buffy. I meant what I said before; I need you."
She sighed and turned back to watching Alicia. "You don't need me."
"Buffy-"
"You need women in general, but not me specifically."
"That's not true," he shook his head. "I do need you. It hurts me to know you don't believe that."
"Well, it hurts me to know that it's true, so we're even."
"God, Buffy," he said vehemently, "Don't sodding say that to me-"
"Look, can we not do this now? We're at the zoo, we're having fun, most importantly, you're daughter is having fun. We'll save it for later, okay?"
He nodded dumbly and watched as she got up and tossed the rest of her ice cream in a nearby barrel. "Where are you going?"
She turned and answered. "To swing on the swings. Wanna push me?"
He nodded, tossed his own ice cream and bounded after her.
********************
Looking in the rearview mirror of his black Volkswagon Passat, he spied Alicia cuddling up into Buffy's side as best she could while buckled in. She was whispering something in Buffy's ear and Spike was straining to hear above the radio Alicia insisted on having loud. How Buffy could hear her was beyond him.
A pop song that he didn't recognize - he never listened to that crap-came on the radio and Alicia's head popped up. "Daddy, can you turn it up more? I like this song."
Spike frowned, "Nibblet, I think it's loud enough."
She batted her long lashes at him and smiled sweetly. "Please? Mommy loves this song.”
“Oh well in that case,” Spike muttered.
Buffy kicked his seat and he reached for the dial.
“Daddy?”
“Yeah, pumpkin?”
“Mommy says that Madonna sings this song and that she must have met William too. Was she talking about you, Daddy?”
This should be good. “I don’t think so, Nib. Never met the woman.”
Alicia nodded and smiled. “Okay.”
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've heard it all before
And I can't take it anymore
You're not half the man you think you are
Save your words because you've gone too far
I've listened to your lies and all your stories
You're not half the man you'd like to be
Jesus Christ. Sam actually said that – and Christ . . . was she right? Was he that guy? Those words sounded much like the one’s Buffy had thrown at him the night before and this morning and just actually, a couple hours ago.
Spike’s head popped up and he looked in the rearview mirror, his eyes landing on Buffy. She had a funny look on her face. She looked . . . sad. Oh God. She was thinking he was that guy. His heart started hammering in his chest.
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've seen it all before
And I can't take it anymore
Don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap
There's more important things than hearing you speak
Mistake me cause I made it so convenient
Don't explain yourself, you'll never see
(Sorry, sorry, sorry)
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've seen it all before
And I can't take it anymore
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
(Don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap)
I've heard it all before, And I can take care of myself
(There's more important things than hearing you speak)
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
He felt sick. He wanted to throw up.
He was that guy.
Looking in the mirror at Alicia’s pixie face, cuddled up into Buffy who was running her fingers through his little girl’s curls, Spike felt like weeping.
He couldn’t lose them. Ever.
*Song “Sorry” by Madonna*
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Author's Chapter Notes:
How bout a midday treat?