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Author's Chapter Notes:
Wow! It's been so long since I updated this, but never fear! I got my inspiration back! Now if only school will let up... Hopefully, updates will become more regular, but there's really no gaurentees.
Chapter 24 Hope

New York City

Buffy whipped out a worn handkerchief from the pocket of her jeans and wiped the dust off of the old, ivory keys of the grand piano. She would never have thought that she would enjoy teaching piano as much as she did, but after a week with the children of "Little Hearts," she considered herself completely converted.

In any minute, her first student of the weekend would walk in…

"Sorry I'm late," a disgruntled teen pushed through the door and threw her backpack to the corner of the room.

Startled, Buffy straightened and set the dusty piece of cloth to the side. The girl, Lisa, was nearly fourteen and one of the oldest students she had. Lisa dropped her folder of music on the stand and plopped down on the wobbly bench.

"It's fine," Buffy smiled, a little flustered. This was only the second lesson she had with the girl and she was starting to get the impression that Lisa didn't really want anything to do with music. Unlike the other hopeful students, she had a jaded, tired look in her eyes and always seemed to be glaring at something.

"So what do we do today?" Lisa prompted after a bout of awkward silence. She flipped open her folder and her sheet music fell out, scattering to the floor. "Oops."

They both moved to pick up the fallen music and when everything was situated again, Buffy asked her a question, "Why are you here?"

"Huh?" Lisa looked confused, "I'm here for piano lessons."

"No. Why are you really here?"

There was a slight pause and Lisa looked away. Finally, she sighed. "What did Mr. Taterson tell you about 'Little Hearts'?"

"Uh…"

"Did he go through his whole spiel about 'oh! Poor abandoned kids! Charity! We're good!' and whatever?"

Buffy stared and nodded, her curiosity mounting. Becky shook her head.

"Well, it's not," she said softly. "If that was all it was, they'd be out of money, business, whatever they have going for them. They'd be washed out. True, people donate to the 'Little Hearts' cause, but a lot of their funding comes from the state to rehabilitate the Juvenile Detention Center." She pointed to herself and smiled sardonically. "And that's me. Juvy. Right here."

Buffy didn't know what to say and luckily, she didn't have to because the girl continued with her story, "My boyfriend, he was involved with.. you know. Stuff. My parents kicked me out of my house, so I was living with him and his brother and one morning they're both gone and I find this note on the refrigerator. He said he'd come back for me, but a few seconds later, some cops broke through the door… voila! Here I am."

Lisa picked up one of the papers that had floated to the ground. The writing on it had been faded to a dull blur of black, the edges wrinkled and folded. She handed it to Buffy and sighed, "I've been waiting for a year. He'll come back, I know he will. Everybody tells me to stop getting my hopes up and sometimes, it's hard to hold on, but I know miracles can happen."

Buffy felt her own eyes tearing up as she read the shadow of a scrawl that the girl had kept…

Lisa, I love you. I love you more than anything and one day, I'll be back. I'll take you everywhere you ever wanted to go, show you everything you ever wanted to see. Just believe in me…. There's a few things I need to take care of, but don't ever forget, I'll come back for you. Love, Jeromy

It was so naïve. She almost forgot that once upon a time, she had believed that she could see and explore the world with her lover. From miles back in her mind, one scene replayed itself as she handed the tattered piece of paper back to the teary girl at the piano…

You and me, love,… we’ll explore the whole world. Anywhere your heart desires. Just name it and I’ll bring it to you.

How long had it been since she had thought of him? All of a sudden, the feelings felt all too fresh, the love, the hate, the tears she had endured… it all came rushing back. She looked at Lisa, who still believed in miracles, and bit down on her own sobs.

…………

Los Angeles

Spike stared at the wallpaper outside Angel’s apartment. Considering the last confrontation they had, he had a vague feeling this wasn’t going to be easy.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“Angel, I’m sorry I ruined your life and messed everything up. Everything went wrong, this wasn’t the way I expected it to be. I know you’ll never want to speak to me again, but I just want you to know that… I love you. Like… uh,… you know, a brother – oh, bloody fuck!” He swore to himself and threw his hands up, exasperated. “And I call him the big Poof…”

He was interrupted by the sound of a ruffling bag behind him and whirled around to see Angel with two grocery bags in each arm, giving him a slightly bemused look.

“Oh, no,” Angel raised his eyebrows, “don’t stop on my account. Please continue… I really liked that part where you’re sorry about ruining my life. That pretty much sums it up, don’t you think?”

“Goddamnit, Peaches,” Spike glared at him, “Don’t you see I’m trying to – “

“Yeah, Oz told me you’d be here to see me.” Angel shrugged, then shifted his bags to dig for his keys in his pockets. “A little help here…?”

“Right,” Spike stepped forward to take a bag.

The keys jingled as Angel found them and shoved them into the lock a little too forcibly. The tension in the air was palpable. It was almost funny. They had been friends for years, fought more times than what was countable, and here they were, both not sure what to say to the other.

The door pushed open and they both staggered in, the weight of the bags unbalancing both of them.

"Watch it," Angel said, monotone, when Spike accidentally bumped into him.

"Sorry 'bout that," he mumbled and stepped back.

Without a word, Angel brought his groceries into the kitchen connected to the living room and began to throw things carelessly into the refrigerator. Beer, fruits, bread, pre-packed brownies, potato chips…

"Uh, are you sure the chips go in the fridge?" Spike interjected unsteadily. Angel paused, then tossed the chips onto the counter, turned around and glared.

"You came here to say something to me? Something along the lines of 'I'm sorry'?" Angel lifted an eyebrow, "Well hurry up and get to it so I can throw you out."

Spike faltered for a moment, taken by surprise at the contained anger visible in Angel's tone. "Right then. You've never been one to diddle-daddle have you, Peaches? Ever since high school, it's been - "

"You've got two minutes."

"Uh, yeah. I'm sorry."

Spike stopped and Angel waited. When it became evident that Spike wasn't going to go on, Angel started tapping his fingers across the counter, "Okay? You're sorry… and…"

"Oh! So you want the whole deal, is that right? The whole getting on my knees bit and groveling about how wrong I was to drag you and Oz along with me, get you involved in a buggered up situation, tear you from your soddin' dreams, is that it?"

"Get out," Angel narrowed his eyes and set his teeth. Spike's shoulders sagged.

"I know what I did, Angel," Spike said softly. He was uncomfortable with the situation but the guilt weighing down on his shoulders made him stay at it. Angel tensed up at the use of his real name.

Spike paused for brief second, then continued, "Look, I didn't know it'd be like this. I was fucked up… confused. Hell, I'm still pretty bloody confused. But one thing I know is that I never meant to ruin your life. When we - this band - started out, I thought it would be brilliant. And being the complete idiotic tosser that I am… I screwed up. That's not new. I screwed up so many times… and… I'm sorry."

Crying is for weak gits… like Angel, Spike told himself trying to reign in his tears. He focused on the potted plant by the kitchen. The terracotta pot was cracked and caked with dirt, the leaves were withered and black… he shifted his gaze to the battered couch and realized that it wasn't much of an improvement. Still. It was better than looking into Angel's eyes.

Finally, Angel spoke up, "Spike, you're first and foremost my friend, okay? Granted, I'm not happy with you right now - actually I'm really pissed off at you right now - you're still my buddy. The whole deal with the band and Drusilla? I don't regret it. It was a hell of an experience and I figure it was something we all had to go through to move on."

Spike flinched at the name Drusilla, but his uneasiness only lasted for a split second. Angel continued, "It's just a part of our lives, you know? Another phase. And after this month… we'll be moving on."

"Where?" Spike asked before he could stop himself. Angel's eyes gleamed a little bit and a hint of a smile crept up on his lips.

"New York City."

Spike widened his eyes. "New York," he repeated. Buffy's in New York… he vaguely remembered from a conversation with his Uncle.

"Yeah," Angel nodded, "It's this city up east, have you heard of it?"

They grinned, relaxing. Spike tilted his head, "Yeah, I hear it's a wild scene and then some. Might check it out myself one of these days."

"Well," Angel drew out slowly, as if he was trying to make a decision in his head and wasn't quite sure if he was well enough to make it, "You can come with me…"

"To New York?"

"Yeah."

They were both surprised. Angel wasn't exactly certain that he was thinking right and Spike was thoroughly shocked that he had been offered to go… with Angel of all people. It was in that moment when they both felt their friendship on the way to repair.

Spike weighed his options; Los Angeles, Sunnydale, New York. Los Angeles held nothing but pain, Sunnydale held nothing but the weight of his past, but New York…

New York held Buffy and a new opportunity.

"I think… I think that might be a good idea," Spike answered, slowly.

Angel shrugged, "What can I say? I'm just loaded with great ideas. But Spike? When we're in New York, we're playing by my rules. Is that clear?"

"Crystal."

He had a girl to see about… Pushing aside all the negative connotations the idea stirred up, Spike allowed himself to bask in the wonder of seeing Buffy one more time. Hell, she probably still hated him… she might have even forgotten him completely, but just the gift of looking at her again? That was enough to make his future a million times brighter.

I can win her back. I know I can…




.............
Not too long until they meet again... maybe 1 or 2 more chapters!





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