[Reviews - 349]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 1904 times

- Text Size +




There's a poll at the bottom of this chapter pertaining to what you guys want to see... I'm officially trapped between two scenarios, both already pre-written, and am seriously not sure which one I want to go with, so I'm leaving it up to you guys... but enjoy this chapter, then leave your choice in the form of a review or an email. Thanks! And enjoy!


Chapter 25 Goodbye to you, Hello to Life

New York City

Two weeks after the unsuccessful encounter in Buffy's dorm - in shorter words, the failed attempt at sex - Gabriel and Buffy's relationship had pretty much gone back to what it had been. They went on cozy dates a few nights out of the week, held hands down the sidewalk, shared sweet parting kisses as they went their separate ways. The most passionate night they had shared together was left hanging in the air, unspoken of and unmentioned.

The thing was, Gabriel wasn't sure if he was satisfied with how things were just forgotten. He had gotten so close to Buffy's fire, seen the heated look in her eyes, felt the desire in her skin… now that he had gotten a taste, he didn't know if he could just simply ignore it. Every single minute they spent together, he was reminded of what her breasts felt like under his palm, how her lips had hungrily ate at his and he wasn't certain if the simple, sweet kisses were enough anymore.

That was why he was standing in the middle of the one place he despised most in the world.

The mall.

Too many people… too many people… too many people, his mind complained but he ignored it as he scanned the row of stores until he spotted Tiffany's on the second floor of the brightly lit shopping center. Buffy's premiere was in a week and he had his mind set on getting her something. An expensive something.

Once he stepped foot in Tiffany's, he was ruthlessly bombarded by glittery jewelry and ridiculously high prices. Swallowing hard, he conjured up an image of Buffy's face, took a deep breath, and forced himself to walk in, ready to spend his entire paycheck just to make her happy.

………

Los Angeles

"Well," Spike stuffed his hands into the pocket of his black jeans, "I guess this is it, Doc."

Dr. Travers looked at him with a grave, weary expression on his face. The bright sunlight flooded in from the loosely drawn blinds of the window, casting stripped lines throughout the psychologist's office.

"New York, then?" his doctor smiled briefly, "Are you sure that it's the right decision, William?"

"If you're asking me if I've dissected it from every possible angle, turned the decision inside out, and pondered it for days… then no, I'm not sure if it's the right decision," Spike bit his lips and shook his head, slightly. "I'm not exactly known for my decision-making skills. That's a given."

Travers nodded. "Then do you feel that it's the right decision?"

After a short pause, Spike slowly answered, "Yes."

"And where do you feel it? In your gut, your head, or your heart?"

"In my… bloody hell, I don't know," Spike let out a sharp laugh and shrugged, "I feel it everywhere, mixed in with a million other feelings. It's hard to suss out what is what… I feel that it's right, but at the same time, I'm scared shitless."

"What's are you scared of? The fact that you'll be all the way across the country or the fact that you're going to see Buffy again."

He had to give him that. Dr. Travers had a way with summing up everything going on in Spike's head and laying it out in the open, ready to be analyzed. "Well… both," he answered, hesitating for a moment. "I'm scared of what her reaction will be when she sees me again."

Spike chuckled bitterly and turned his head to stare out the window, continuing. "I wouldn't be surprised if she threw her purse at me and told me she never wanted to see me again."

The realization of what had happened between them had been slowly coming down on Spike's shoulders and, as each day passed, the thought of not going to New York and not getting the rejection he knew was coming to him was becoming more and more appealing.

Her desperate eyes as she breathed out, "But, I love you…"
Him, clenching his jaw, turning away and telling her, "You don't know what love is."

Him, dying inside, trying to believe the words that were coming out of his mouth as he said, "You're young. You couldn't have expected this to be forever."

Her, begging him silently to tell her the opposite as she whispered, "Tell me you don't love me…"
Him, meaning the opposite, but forcing himself to say, "I don't love you."
Her eyes…

Her, lips drawn in, eyes dangerously flaming, anger seething from every inch of her body, pushing him away and grinding out, "Don't. I don't want to hear it. I don't ever want to hear from you ever again… You're beneath me."
Him, knowing she was right. Not doing anything about it.

Just remembering the words exchanged, the emotions ripping apart, the world shattering… it was enough to send him running away. He had pushed her and pushed her and had finally pushed her over the edge. Did he really expect her to welcome him with open arms?

He forced the thoughts out of his head. What he had done to her?… It was beyond wrong. It was absolutely wretched and for a while, he had wanted to kill himself for it. In a way, he had killed himself. For a year, his self-pity, his drug-abuse, his love to self-destruct had been eating at his heart slowly and slowly and for once, everything was clear.

The only way he could save himself was to go see her. He had to. And if she ordered him out of her life, that would be fine.

Would it? Would it really be fine? Would you be okay with never seeing her again? there was that voice again. That voice which made him question his own judgment.

"I have to try," he looked back into Dr. Travers's patient eyes. The doctor smiled at him calmly and offered him his hand.

"You have grown up," he smiled when Spike reached out to grasp his outstretched hand. "You've changed. Never forget it. Remember William, never let your past make you who you are, never let your decisions guide you, and never melt into your surroundings. You're a strong man. You control whatever happens. Remember that, even if you do not remember anything else we've been through for the past few months."

Spike pulled on the older man's hand and reached over to envelop him in a tight hug. "I'll miss you, Doc. And I'll never forget what you did for me."

The doctor stood stiff in the embrace and patted his back awkwardly, "No… no, it was nothing at all. I did nothing. I just opened your eyes and broke down your walls. You did the rest."

…………

When Spike stepped into the sunlight of Los Angeles, he smiled. For some strange, unknown reason, the day seemed to shine even brighter.

…………

A few days later…

Angel stared in disbelief at the constipated expression on Spike's face. The shorter, peroxide blonde's grip on the armrest was so tight that his knuckles looked shockingly white and his eyes were squeezed shut.

"We're preparing for descent," the captain's voice rang out cheerily over the intercom and Spike looked like he was about to hyperventilate.

"Uh, you don't look so great, man," Angel furrowed his brow. "I didn't know you were afraid of flying…"

"Shut up, you wanker," Spike breathed out between clenched teeth, "Not bloody afraid of flying. It's the going down part that… irks me."

"Uh-huh," Angel lifted an eyebrow and shrugged, leaning back into his own seat as the airplane slowly descended down to New York's LaGuardia airport.


New York City

"Wait, where are we going tonight?" Spike asked for the tenth time since the plane had landed. Angel rolled his eyes and looked over at the baggage claim sign.

"To a concert," Angel told him, crossing his arms over his chest and walking over to their flight number to wait for their suitcases.

"What concert?" He was curious now. Angel was always the silent, I've-got-something-on-my-mind-and-I'm-not-telling-you-what type of bloke, but today, he seemed… more so.

Angel sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, "You'll see."

"I'll see what?" Spike prompted, reaching down to the baggage carousel when he spotted his bag.

"I'm not telling you. You'll see."

Spike decided not to push it and Angel was relieved. He had received news from Sunnydale that Buffy was going to be performing that night in the Juilliard Concert Hall and had wasted no time in reserving seats. But it wouldn't do to tell Spike that…

No, it wouldn't do at all. Spike would have to be adequately surprised.

………
………
………

"Want a banana?" Faith asked, holding one up in front of Buffy's face. "You look nervous. It'll help. Potassium and whatever shit, so they say."

Buffy shook her head and turned to the bathroom mirror. They were in the concert hall and it was half an hour until she had to perform. And goddammit, the butterflies in her stomach would not let up.

Faith's gaze met hers in the mirror and she smiled reassuringly. "You'll do great, B," she wrapped a strong arm around Buffy's shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "And you look pretty fuckin' amazing, if I say so myself."

She smiled proudly at the black dress she had leant Buffy. It was cut in a halter with a plunging neckline and a low back. The satiny material flowed over her body, clinging in just the right places, accentuating her curves and flattering her figure. Granted, it was a little too long, but the heels she had also leant the jittery concert mistress compensated for it.

Her blonde hair was swept up into a bun with a pin made of tiny crystal studs that matched with the long earrings and necklace she wore. Kendra had helped with the makeup, bronzing her cheekbones and eyelids, giving her a soft natural look and making her glow.

"I don't feel as amazing," Buffy muttered, nervously flexing and unflexing her fingers. "My palms are sweaty and freezing at the same time, my insides feel like they're about to come out, I think I'm going to - "

"Stop it," Faith poked her before reaching into her purse and pulling out some gloves, "Here, wear these."

Buffy took them and smiled, gratefully. "Thanks. You're such a lifesaver. I hope you know that."

"Nah, I know you'd do the same for me," Faith grinned. "And what are friends for, anyways?"

Buffy laughed lightly and shook her head, "God, I don’t think I've been this nervous since… ever."

Before Faith could respond, the door squeaked open and Kendra poked her head in, "Come on, Buffy," she said in her exotically accented voice, pushing the door wider, "they are wanting you in the backstage."

Buffy took a deep breath and said a quick prayer. Faith patted her on the back and guided her out of the bathroom.

In less than half an hour, she would be performing in front of a crowd of hundreds for the first time in her life. Was she ready?

She really, really hoped so.




Author's Note/Poll:

Okay, I know that in the summary of this story, it says "ten years later," and some of you are probably wondering why they're meeting after just 3 years.

The fact of the matter is that my original intentions were to have Buffy and Spike meeting when Gabriel was out of the picture (thus, 10 years)...

But, of course, my ideas kind of changed as I kept writing it and now, I'm having them meet when Buffy is still dating Gabriel.

So now, there are two courses that this story can go and I've drafted them both out. I don't want to give too much away, but I want to know where my readers want this to go. Either way, Spike is going to have to work HARD, HARD, HARD to gain Buffy's affections back... but here are the choices:

1) They meet right here, right now, while Gabriel's still in the picture. Spike tries to win her back.

2) They meet right here, right now, while Gabriel's still in the picture, but Spike decides to give her room. Then, in ten years (as was the original intention), Gabriel and Buffy are broken up and Spike tries to pursue her then.

I'm partial to option 1, but I want to see what you guys think. I might go with what the majority wants and I might not, because it's ultimately what I feel is best... but right now, I just want to get an idea.

Anyways... I hope you enjoyed that chapter and review!





You must login (register) to review.