[Reviews - 11]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 2058 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay...hm, I know the characters actions are a bit of a stretch, but this story is drawn completely from personal experience and i guess i don't want to lose any of the situation. Heh, don't be too harsh on Buffy, it's far too easy to fall apart. :)
Spike smiled and kissed her hand at the door in front of the apartment he used to call home.

"That's all my sugar?" she smiled, teasing him a bit.

Spike sighed heavily, he hoped she didn't have the wrong idea about their time this evening. Not that he hadn't loved her company, but he wasn't willing to rush in blindly. He had a lot on his plate now, number one priority was killing, not without proper maiming, that Charlie guy.

"Buffy.....this doesn't mean..." he started.

"I know," she said, her smile fading just enough for him to notice.

"Right, I'll call you first thing tomorrow then, okay doll?" he offered.

"'kay, goodnight," she responded.

---

One the walk home Spike had a million and one thoughts running through his mind and he couldn't grab a hold on a single one of them.

What if she gives up completely and I never get my Buffy back?...She's got herself in a lot of trouble...How am I going to explain that I left because she was becoming half of me rather than the woman she'd always been, not because I lost any love for her?...Will she understand that I need her to be able to stand on her own two feet?....I can't believe she let that bastard lay a hand on her...Did I do the wrong thing?...How much money does she owe him?....She's really losing her way...It's my responsibilty, I did this to her...No I didn't, she did it to herself...When did my slayer become so broken?....I should talk to Giles...Her friends don't know jack about her....She was beautiful tonight....I should've dressed her lip up good and proper....She's gotta fix herself, if I fix her, I'll still be a crutch...

With all of these thoughts running a mile a minute, Spike found one thought that never left eh back of his mind, a scene that would play itself over and over again behind his eyelids.

"Buffy I'm leaving," he'd cried like a nancy and felt no shame in it.
She had looked up at him with the saddest eyes in the world before averting them to the ground in front of her and turning herself off to him, once again. He could feel the floor burning from the red she saw in that moment and did as she asked, just incase she decided to let out a little anger in his direction.
Once he finished loading the car with all of his belongings, he took one look back at the place he'd made home with the only woman for him. He'd assumed she'd learn again to stand on her own two feet and be the slayer he'd come to adore, he thought she might stake him, he waited for her to bounce back and find some other sucker to be her new main squeeze.

Spike had mentally prepared himself for anything that seemed even remotely possible for her to do after their break-up; promiscuity, maybe...alcohol abuse, a further stretch...cocaine? never. She'd promised that she only used blow four times in the past 6 months, which really wasn't even enough to call her a "recreational user," but it was the point that this was Buffy, she of the high and mighty, that was the subject of his debate. He figured that dealer must've used the word "fiend," to intentionally hurt her in front of him, not because she actually was one. Spike decided they'd tackle the blow issue before they even touched alcohol or one-night-stands, it'd be the easiest to get her to give up, because she was so terribly ashamed of having done it in the first place.
"There you go again, Spike, you should know by now that she won't let you save her," he sighed, knowing he was thinking far too much in advance.

--THE NEXT AFTERNOON--
He made his way to her place around 1:00pm, standing on the stoop with flowers he'd stolen from a street vendor on the way over. After she buzzed him in, he made himself comfortable on the couch while she put the flowers in a vase. In jeans and a white cotton tee that streched just the right way over her breasts, she was beautiful. He tried to remember the last time he had smiled the way he was goofily grinning at her now, but figured it better of him to ignore the memories that hung heavily in his mind whenever he was within reach of her.
He settled in for "The Price is Right," turning when he realized she had come back into the room. Sliding down the couch and allowing her to choose how close or how far to sit from him, Spike gestured with his blue eyes to the empty seat next to him.
She sat, leaving abnout 6 inches between them, realizing that he never took his eyes off her, as she leaned back against the couch, he reminded her that they had a lot to discuss and should get to it. Smiling almost childishly, she said,

"Yeah, but...." looking uncertain for a minute, "later, 'kay?"

Spike raised an eyebrow, "I won't let you put this off, luv. Let's just get it done and over with. I know what you're toying at," he felt his jeans tighten at the knowledge of what she was toying at.

"God, I've missed you," she said softly, blinking away tears and smiling sweetly at him.

"I know princess, I know. And I've.....missed isn't even the word. But you can't trick me out of this conversation, even if you are throwing extra puppy eyes my way," he smiled, unintentionally playing with the strand of hair that never seemed to belong to the rest of her hairstyle.

"I just, I don't know Spike..." she continued.

Next thing he knew she was in his arms and they shared one of the most passionate kisses since their first, neither one of them knew who moved first, who had leaned just that much more than the other, and right now it didn't matter. Falling into eachother, they made love for nearly three hours, lying on the floor afterwards there was an air of comfortable, yet tense, silence. Both of them knew that this had opened a whole new can of worms and they had to tread carefully, Spike was worried about her stability, Buffy was worried about his intentions, and their fears pulled them to reach out for eachother a little quicker.





You must login (register) to review.