CHAPTER 11


In hope of cheering up her sister a bit, Dawn had invited Buffy to a dinner and a movie with her and Connor. She just warned Connor that they should keep the smoochies and handholding to a strict minimum.

They had become a couple of weeks ago, when Dawn had finally gotten tired of waiting for him to make the move and had literally jumped his bones. Not that he had complained.

But Dawn didn’t want to impose her newfound happiness on Buffy so blatantly. The former Chosen One, Slayer of the Vampyres – to quote Andrew – was a pity to see. She only came to life when the phone rang, and was drained of it as soon as she heard that the person calling was not the one she expected.

“She really has I bad,” Connor commented after one of their evening out. “Is that guy really worth it?”

Dawn smiled. “Well, William’s really special. Oh, and he’s related to Angel.”

Connor nodded. “Isn’t that your friend you thought was dead but then wasn’t? I remember Angel telling me about it. It was weird because he seemed both happy and upset that William was back.”

“They both have some sort of history. Plus, big rivalry because of Buffy. They were both in love with her, first Angel, then Sp…William. After William’s death, we came here and I suspect that Angel hoped for a while that Buffy and he would have another go at it. But she made it clear she had moved on.”

“Poor Angel. That would explain that broody look he has sometimes.”

Dawn smiled. “Only sometimes?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well yeah. He had it once when he talked to me about that girl he loved and who died. Cordelia. And then once when I mentioned past Christmases with my family. I guess that’s because he doesn’t have much of a family himself. But most of the time, he’s rather cheerful. We always laugh at stupid stuff, you know, guy stuff. We goof around.”

“That doesn’t sound like the Angel I know, but if you say so…I’m glad you guys are getting along so well.”

“I never thought we would become such good friends so quickly,” Connor said with thoughtful smile. “But there was that connection from the start…and we don’t have such a big age difference.”

“Right,” Dawn said, thinking that Angel should sooner or later have to come clean about the whole vampire thing. She was pretty sure Connor didn’t have a clue about the demon world, but if the young man was going to be an important part of her life – and she counted on it – and Angel’s, he would have to know. Connor was a pretty open-minded guy, but she wasn’t sure about his reaction. But as with Buffy, she didn’t want to go on much longer without telling him the truth.

She knew far too well what damages lies and miscommunication could cause.


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The big flat TV screen of his office was on, but Angel wasn’t paying attention to it.

Dawn had called him earlier today, and their conversation had been the exact same one he had had with Buffy a few days ago when she had decided to tell William the truth.

For the second time in ten days, Angel had the heavy task of telling someone about the never-ending evil that crawled beneath and above the surface of the planet. And if it hadn’t been a walk in the park with William, what would it be like with Connor?

But Dawn was right, it was time to tell him the truth.

Angel was proud to see how smart and open-minded Connor had become. He was hoping their new friendship and Connor’s trust in him would be sufficient enough for the young man to handle what he was about to learn.

Connor’s trust. Those were words Angel had never thought would be directed at him. And so help him, he would do anything in his power to keep it that way. Of course he didn’t intend to tell him that he was his father. He hadn’t giving up on him two years ago to give him a better life just to destroy everything now. It was already a miracle that Connor was back in his life, and that he had the chance to be a part of it. But because of it, he couldn’t hide what he was any longer.

A knock on the door distracted him from his thoughts. Waiting at the threshold was his former grand-childe.

“William!” Angel said, rising from his chair. “Please come in. Have a seat.”

William walked in and glanced at the TV screen. “Smile Time?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Angel smiled. “Long story,” he said, turning the TV off. He watched the young man sit in front of his desk, slightly surprised. First, he hadn’t really expected to see him arrive without warning. He knew through Buffy that William had left town a few days and hadn’t given any news. Also, he had thought he would look more miserable, or upset. Tormented. But William looked well rested, with a quiet and determined look on his face.

Apparently, the latest trend was to *not * brood about your evil vampire past. Angel briefly wondered why he didn’t get the memo.

“Have you seen Buffy?” he asked.

William shook his head. “No. I just arrived from San Francisco. You’re the first person I came to see.”

“Oh. Well, you did, uh…well. How can I help you?”

Angel wasn’t sure how to react in front of William. Connor hadn’t changed much, if only in a positive way because he didn’t have that anger and need for revenge anymore. So Angel’s relationship with him now was pretty much what the vampire had hoped to share with him a few years ago.

But the man sitting in front of him now had not much to do with the former self-proclaimed ‘Big Bad’ that was once Spike. So Angel felt kind of uncomfortable, and at the same time the strong urge to help and protect him.

“I would like that you tell me everything about my past. When I was turned, how, and what happened during the whole time we were together…mostly what happened during our pre-soul days.”

Angel shifted in his seat. “Alright…you should know first that even if getting your soul didn’t change your behaviour much, it’s a whole different story with me. Without my soul I’m not a very nice guy.”
William smirked. “I read all about Angelus in the Watchers’ journal that Rupert Giles gave me. So you can cut the ‘not very nice’ crap and go directly to the ‘obscenely vicious’ parts, mate.”

Aha, Angel thought, here comes Spike. Much easier to deal with.

The vampire smiled and told him the great lines of their history, from William’s siring in 1880 to Spike’s selfless sacrifice in 2003. William often asked questions, some that Angel couldn’t answer when they were referring to the period between 1900 and 1998. They had met briefly during the war in 1943, but aside from that Angel had ignored most of Spike and Dru’s peregrinations until he turned into Angelus and joined them during that fateful period in Sunnydale.

“I’m sure Giles must have more information about that period, but a lot of the books and journals were destroyed in the Council’s explosion a few years ago.”

William stretched in his chair, feeling a little sore. They had been talking for a good three hours. “I’ll see with him, but at least now I know the essential.”

“You can also ask Buffy. She’ll be able to fill the blanks about that thing with the Initiative, and the years that followed. From what she told me, you were, uh…rather close the last two years. I supposed you guys talked…about stuff.”

William smiled sadly. “From what she told *me *, we were never close and talking was not our number one priority. Fighting and shagging seemed to be our favourite activities.”

Angel nodded, feeling that old familiar feeling of jealousy tugging at his heart each time he thought about Buffy with someone else. Then again it was more of an instinctive reaction and didn’t really hurt anymore. She had made her choice and he respected it.

“Besides,” William went on, “ I saw how painful it was for her to talk about it. I don’t want to raise painful subjects more than necessary. Better concentrate on the future.”

“Maybe, but to build that future, you should be at peace with your past and the baggage existing between Buffy and you. So I guess you should talk with her about it.”

William thought about it for a minute before saying, “Yeah, you have a point.”
Angel smiled. “I always have, but you never listened. It would have saved you from a lot of trouble back in the days.”

William chuckled. “But it would have taken out half of the fun, apparently.”

Angel shook his head. “How do you do it? I never thought I would say this, but I almost envy you. No, let’s be honest, I truly envy you. How can you stay so calm about all this?”

“I wasn’t calm a week ago,” William grinned. “I was even so agitated, I couldn’t sleep for two days. But I can’t torment myself about something I don’t remember. And I don’t want to. I’m not meant to remember, fine with me. I got a second chance, I think it’s more important to try to make the best of it, right?”

“You’re right. I realized this very recently,” Angel said with a thoughtful smile.

William got up. “I guess it’s time I go see Buffy. Did you…did you see her during the past week?”

“I talked to her on the phone. She wasn’t in the best of shape.”

William sighed. “I wanted so badly to call and reassure her, but if I had heard her voice…I really needed to be alone for some time.”

“That’s understandable, and I think she knows that. Don’t worry.”

“Any more advice from the older and wiser?” William enquired with a smile.

“Just be happy. That’s all I ever wanted Buffy to be. I didn’t always make the right choices, and…well, the situation is what it is. If she can find happiness with you, then…I’m good with it. Don’t hurt her. And tell her that warning applies to her too.”

“Thanks, mate. I appreciate it.”

Angel walked him to the door. “I’m going out for drinks next Friday with Connor, Dawn’s boyfriend. Do you want to join us?” he asked.

“Why not? Nice occasion to get to know each other better…well, on my part at least.” William answered with a chuckle.
“No more memories?”

“Not lately…not even dreams. Sometimes, when I meet someone new, something about that person strikes me. A picture, a name…oh, you know what comes to mind when I look at you? Barry Manilow.”

Angel laughed. “Really? Funny. I wonder where that comes from.”

“Thanks again, Angel. I’ll see you next Friday, then.”

He left, and Angel closed the door behind him, sighing. “Of all the things about me…he remembers *that * one.”


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