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CHAPTER 5


“So, you remember what I told you? Don’t jump on him, and try not to call him Spike. He goes by William now.”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Buffy, I haven’t seen him in two years, and I thought he was dead. Of course I’m going to jump on him. What did you expect?”

“I know, but he doesn’t remember who you are. So it might embarrass him, especially since he’s so different from the Spike we used to know.”

The younger Summers sighed. “Ok, I get your point. It’s just…”

The doorbell rang and she shrieked. “Oh my God! It’s him! Spike!” She ran to open the door and threw herself in his arms as soon as he appeared. “Spike! God, I missed you so much!”

The young man walked into the hallway, holding Dawn and laughing. Apparently, he seemed neither embarrassed nor bothered by Dawn’s outburst.

“Dawn, he needs to breathe, you know,” she told her sister, holding back the ‘now’ that was about to slip.

“Oh, right,” the younger girl said, and let go of him.

“It’s ok,” William grinned. “It’s not everyday that I have pretty birds jumping on me.”

Dawn gave a pointed look to Buffy. “Well, that does sound exactly like Spike to me.” She turned back to him. “I can’t believe you’re really here. And you’re…different, and yet the same. It’s amazing,” she said, putting her hand on his chest where she could feel his heart beating, until Buffy’s discreet cough reminded her she had to act more carefully. She withdrew her hand with a little laugh. “Sorry. I’ll stop with the touchy-feely before you think I’m a total loony.”

William laughed heartily. “Hey, Buffy,” he greeted her.

“Hi William.”

She was always so happy to see him, because when he wasn’t there she had a hard time believing it wasn’t a dream. She had called him that afternoon to ask him if he wanted to come by after his work to see Dawn, and he had accepted immediately. She had to admit that Dawn had been a nice excuse to see him again. Even if hiding the truth from him was momentarily a big issue, she couldn’t bring herself to not see him as often as possible. It was almost a physical need.

“You want something to drink?”

He barely had time to nod before Dawn dragged him in the living room and fired questions at him. Buffy arrived with the drinks and sat quietly beside them, listening to his answers. This way she could learn a little bit more about him and his life during the past two years. William had been very lucky to be found by the Clarke’s and they had treated him like their own son. He was amazed and grateful that they had been willing to accept him, a total stranger with no past, into their home. It was obvious he loved and respected them very much, and Buffy thought it was only fair that he finally got the chance to be cared about and treated like he deserved. Even if there were still expressions and attitudes betraying his old self, there was also some sort of thoughtlessness, and a little light in his blue eyes that she had rarely, if not ever, witnessed in him before. Despite the obvious issues and frustrations his memory loss had to rise, he seemed happy.

So she didn’t intervene much, letting her sister catch up with him, at least on the subjects that were ‘catchable’. She knew how much Dawn had suffered from Spike’s absence, especially since they had never had the opportunity to clear things up between them. Or rather, as Dawn honestly admitted, she hadn’t taken the time to talk to him and hear his side of the story.

And then it had been too late.

But now was not the time to talk about that. Buffy had explained to Dawn that she had told William already about their own weird relationship. So if Dawn started to tell him that they had had problems too, the poor guy would probably think he was a lousy jerk who didn’t get along with anyone.

William didn’t stay long, since he was supposed to meet friends for diner. He gave Dawn a heartfelt hug, promising they would get together very soon.

“But just the two of us. I don’t want Buffy in the way,” she joked, with a wink to her sister.
“That’s a deal,” he replied.

“You haven’t met Giles and the others yet, right?”

Buffy shook her head. “Giles knows already, but he hasn’t seen William yet.” She turned to him. “Do you think you could come to the school tomorrow afternoon? You could meet Giles. He’s one of our closest friends, and kind of a surrogate father for Dawn and me. You know, the more people you meet…”

“Sure, it’s worth a shot.”

After a last kiss to Dawn, he took his jacket. Buffy walked him downstairs.

“I hope you won’t have any more disturbing dreams,” she told him.

He leaned on his bike, apparently not so much in a hurry to leave. “Me too. I need my beauty sleep,” he said with a smile. “Talking about beauty,” he added, raising his hand and taking a blond lock between his fingers, “I don’t get how you can be single.”

She smiled and shrugged. “I can’t say I looked very hard. And…” she hesitated, then opted for complete honesty. What did she have to lose anyway? “I never really got over you,” she confessed, looking in his eyes.

He blushed slightly and smiled back softly.

“What about you?” she asked.

“I had two relationships, both lasted a few weeks. Women are not too keen on dating a guy with no past.”

“That’s their loss,” Buffy whispered. He was still playing with her hair, and unconsciously she had drawn nearer and was now standing very close to him. His eyes were fixated on her mouth, and she felt that same mouth become very dry. “So you never got really attached?” she asked.

His head was slowly lowering towards her. “Not really, no.”

“How long have you been working at the library?” she asked again. God, she was turning into a blabbering idiot. Shut up, Buffy.

William stopped, inches from her mouth and smiled. “For almost two years. Are you done with the questions?”

She nodded, lost in his blue depths.

“Good. Can I kiss you now?”

Her eyes widened, but before she could utter an answer, his mouth was on hers.

It was very soft at first, almost shy, like two persons who kissed for the first time. His lips were plundering hers, his tongue tasting and his teeth nibbling them before she opened her mouth to let him explore at will. She moaned and pressed her body against his, not even letting air pass between them. One of his hands caught the back of her neck while he placed the other on her lower back. The kiss became suddenly more intense, and he let go of her. They were both panting heavily.

“Wow,” she whispered. “You certainly didn’t forget how to do * that *.”

He smiled tenderly, caressing her cheek. “I was inspired,” he said, and couldn’t resist kissing her again, and Buffy certainly didn’t want him to stop. He kissed her cheek, her jaw and the sensitive spot on her neck. She shivered against him.

“You’re cold?” he asked.

“Absolutely not,” she answered, her head dizzy by his scent, and all the memories it brought her. How she wished that this kiss had the same resonance in him…the tenderness of it reminded her of very rare and precious moments, when it hadn’t been about the vampire and the Slayer having rough sex, but just a man and a woman deeply attracted to each other and harboring feelings that couldn’t be let out, but were very much present.

He finally let go of her, and if the proud part of her didn’t want to say anything, he heart decided otherwise. “Do you really have to go?” she asked, and thankfully there wasn’t too much pleading in her voice.

He contemplated her, and he had that look on his face, the same as so many years ago, when he had been willing to do anything out of pure love for her, even die. And now she knew she mirrored that expression. “I can call my friends…tell them I won’t be able to make it tonight. Is that what you want?” he asked.

“I…” she hesitated, reason rushing back. Maybe this was going too fast. Maybe this would be going nowhere, when he learned or remembered the truth. Maybe she shouldn’t let him in if the unavoidable result would be hurt and heartache for both of them.

Maybe she could go to Tibet and become a Buddhist and meet the Dalai Lama.

Who cared about ‘maybe’? She had been so miserable without him. And now he was back. Would she really let him go, let the past ruin a possibly happy future, without fighting?

Hell no.

She smiled. “Yes. That’s what I want.”

He just nodded and pulled out his cell phone. She went back to tell Dawn to not wait for her.

A few minutes later, she sat behind him, holding on tightly. Never intending to let go.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

He took her to his apartment, and she was fine with that. Right now she didn’t want to be in a crowded place, or have to share him with other people. Besides, she was ready for anything that might happen.

She had been ready for two years.

“Anna and Jim are in San Francisco,” he told her. “Next time I really want them to meet you.”

“Me too,” she said, wandering in the small apartment with curiosity. There was a kitchenette, a small living room, and behind a folding screen a bedroom. It was very cozy and clean. There were a lot of CD’s and tapes next to the television, and she inspected them. Apparently, his taste in music hadn’t changed much either, a lot of punk rock, amongst classical music, and female singers like Norah Jones and Alison Krauss. That was more surprising. Then again, she never really had discussed musical topics with Spike, so how would she know what he used to like?

“What, you don’t tape ‘Passions’ anymore?” she asked him with a teasing smile.

“What’s ‘Passions’?” he asked with a bewildered look.

“A soap opera. You were a big fan. Never missed an episode.”

“Oh my God. You’re kidding, right? If not, just shoot me now.”

She shook her head, laughing. “You liked Dawson’s Creek as well.”

He grinned. “Still watch that one. The reruns, since it’s over.” He frowned. “Only I don’t remember, so it’s like I’m watching it for the first time. Don’t spoil me,” he said, walking to the fridge. “I have eggs, bacon and salad. Fancy an omelette?” he asked.

“Sure. Can I help?”

“You can make the salad.”

They started to prepare dinner, brushing each other intentionally and exchanging conniving glances. They knew what was inevitably going to happen, and all those little domestic gestures were just a prelude to much more anticipated and intense activities.

After dinner, they settled comfortably on the couch and she snuggled against him. His hand was caressing her back in a soothing manner, and he kissed her head.

“There must be something in me that remembers you,” he said,” because I’ve known you for just a few days and still this feels so right and natural.”

“Mmmh, I know the feeling,” she smiled.

They stayed like that for a moment, exchanging kisses and caresses, letting the desire build slowly but surely. William was taking his time, giving Buffy the opportunity to change her mind if she wanted to. As for the young woman, she was getting reacquainted with his body, his scent, his hands, his mouth, and all the things she had thought lost to her. All those things constituting her own personal heaven.

The kisses suddenly deepened, the caresses became more intimate.
“Are you really sure about this?” he asked, panting, and God he hoped she was, because he didn’t think his jeans would hold him any longer. He wanted her so much it hurt.

She nodded frantically, tugging at his shirt. Taking her in his arms, he got up and went to the bedroom, putting her softly, almost reverently, on the bed. He looked at her while unbuttoning her blouse. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered against her skin, kissing the path of her collarbone.

Buffy’s breathing was erratic, and she felt like her heart was bursting. He had asked her how she was still single? Of course she was. No other man on earth or in any other dimension could make her feel that way.

The gestures were familiar, yet it was different. Because he was human. Because instead of having sex, they were making love. In fact, this was a first time for both of them, even if their bodies instantly recognized themselves and interlocked perfectly.

In a matter of minutes, they were both naked. William traced her breasts with the lightest of touches. He bit her softly, eliciting a moan. Then he traced a path of kisses along her belly, reaching the juncture of her thighs. She gasped when he tasted her, his skillful tongue driving her over the edge quickly.

William went back to her mouth, kissing her passionately, and she embraced him with her arms and her legs, her little hand searching and reaching his manhood.

“Oh God. Buffy…” he exhaled, opening his eyes and plunging them in hers at the very same time he entered her, sliding into her silken warmth. Feeling like he was finally home.

It didn’t really matter whom he was, as long as he knew where his place was now. With her. Beside her. Inside her.

He had tried to hold it as long as he could, wanting the foreplay to last. But Buffy’s passion and abandoned movements had shattered his resolve.

He stopped for a moment, realizing they were both trembling. She put her hand on his cheek and brought his mouth to hers. It was dark in the room but he could see her green eyes shine with desire and love. They exchanged a languorous kiss before he finally made a move, thrusting slowly at first, then more wildly. He was deep inside her, and each push of his hips pressed him against her most sensitive spot. And she was swept away with him, feeling an intense pleasure rolling inside her like a giant wave. William climaxed almost at the same time, and she gripped him inside as he pulsed within her.

They laid entangled, kissing softly.

“How could I forget about this?” William wondered, with an amazed expression on his face.

Buffy watched him with the same expression, biting her tongue to repress the three little words coming to her lips. It was too soon. And if he doubted her again, she couldn’t bear it.

They settled under the cover, him on his back and her body spread on his. She couldn’t help but kiss the warm skin of his chest from time to time and listen to his heartbeat.

Like a sweet lullaby, it brought her to sleep.





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