CHAPTER 6
Buffy woke up to an unfamiliar feeling. Warm skin against hers.
It had been so long since…well, the last one had been Riley, more than four years ago. After him, there only had been Spike, and he was cold. Well, room temperature, which didn’t mean much when they were in the crypt. But she didn’t care at that time, because she just wanted to feel something.
And now she remembered how nice it was to wake up in a warm embrace. But not any warm embrace. William’s.
The memories of the previous night slowly came back and she smiled. She snuggled closer to him with a sigh of contentment. He tightened his hold around her waist, and kissed her hair. He was awake, too.
The buzz of the alarm clock shattered the peaceful silence, and William turned around to shut it off.
“What time is it?” she asked.
“7 am. I have to be at the library at 8.” He ran his hand caressingly on her back. “You have to work too, right?”
She nodded. “Yeah. But not before 9.”
He smiled. “Next time, let’s do this during the week-end, alright? So we can stay in bed all day.”
“So you want there to be a next time?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Well yeah. Don’t you?”
“Sure I do. I’m just…I’m glad you do. I’ve had some…bad experiences with morning afters.”
“How do you qualify this one then?”
“The best kind,” she said, rising to reach his lips. They exchanged a slow kiss. They had made love once more during the night, very languorously. And now, even if it was still early and she hadn’t slept much, Buffy felt relaxed and rejuvenated. “One of us is going to have to find the courage to get up at some point,” she said with a teasing smile.
“It won’t be me,” William growled, his face hidden in her neck. The thing he could do to her with his tongue…she shivered. He definitely hadn’t lost his touch.
The alarm clock went off again and he sighed. “Bloody hell,” he muttered, and she giggled. As much as she loved William, it felt good and familiar to see Spike appear from time to time.
With much reluctance, they finally got up and got dressed in silence, exchanging happy smiles. William drove her back in Anna’s car. When he stopped in front of her building, she leaned into him and gave him a lingering kiss. “Will you come to the school today? To see Giles?”
“I’ll be there. Have a nice day, love.”
“You too.”
With one last kiss, she got out of the car, waving her hand at him until the car was out of sight. Still smiling dreamily, she opened the door of her apartment.
“Look who’s back. Seems like your night was much more interesting than mine,” Dawn said with a significant look. Apparently, she had just gotten up.
“It was great.”
“Did you tell him?”
“Tell him what?”
“About the past. What he was. All that stuff.”
Buffy’s smile vanished. “You hear that sound? It’s the sound of my pink dream bubble popping brutally. No, I didn’t tell him.”
She went to the kitchen and Dawn followed her. Buffy took two mugs out and Dawn poured the freshly made coffee.
“Buffy, I understand that you’re happy and excited to have him back, I am too…but you’re not gonna hold the truth from him eternally, right? You’re planning on telling him? If he doesn’t remember?”
“Sure, I’ll tell him,” Buffy said, watching the content of her mug and avoiding Dawn’s gaze.
The younger snorted sarcastically. “Yeah, that sounded convincing.”
Buffy shivered, this time from cold and uneasiness. Gone was the blissful feeling of the early morning. “Dawn, if I tell him…I’ll lose him again.”
“Maybe you won’t have to. Maybe he’ll remember. It’s just…as long as he doesn’t, you’ll be living a lie. A big one.”
Buffy put her face in her hands. “I know that. I know it too well. I don’t know what to do. I love him so much…it’s a tremendous gift we’ve gotten, this second chance…and it’s about to be totally ruined. I feel so helpless,” she sighed.
Dawn got up and put her arm around Buffy’s shoulders, giving it a small squeeze.
“Buffy, this doesn’t have to end badly. I saw the way he looked at you yesterday…like you are one of the Seven Wonders or something. Whether he’s Spike, William, and whatever dimension or world he’s in, he will always love you. That’s something deeply rooted in him. And in you. It will never go away.”
Buffy hugged her sister back. “Oh, Dawnie…how am I supposed to tell him?”
“What I know is that I’m sure he won’t like to learn it from some book, like I did. It wouldn’t probably have changed much if you had told me directly, I would have freaked out anyway. But I got over it, right?”
Buffy smiled. “In other words, don’t make the same mistakes with him that I did with you.”
“Exactly. Communication is the key. With a small k.”
“He’s coming to the school today to meet Giles. Maybe this will help. And if it doesn’t, I’ll take him to Angel. After all, he’s his family…sort of. And if this still doesn’t solve anything…then I’ll tell him.”
“Maybe he won’t freak out and will just call the nice men with the white shirts and the shiny ambulance.”
Despite of herself, Buffy laughed. “Thanks, I feel much better now.” Dawn went back to her stool and finished her coffee.
“You have class this morning?” Buffy asked.
“Nope. Remember that super hottie I met, Connor? I’m taking him to meet Angel, today. And to visit Wolfram & Hart.”
“That’s nice. Aren’t you afraid to meet one of those demons or weirdoes that seem to haunt that place? Or even that green demon, Angel’s friend…what’s his name?”
“Lorne. I love to see him, he’s so funny and nice. But ok, probably hard to explain to Connor.” She shrugged. “I’ll figure something out if it happens. He never said it clearly, but I wonder if he is aware of all that vampire and demon stuff…but is afraid that if he’ll tell me I’ll call the nice men in the white shirts. See? You and him already have something in common.”
“Well bring him here one of these nights, so I can meet him. I’m going to take a shower and go to work.”
Before she left the kitchen, Dawn held her wrist and smiled at her sweetly. “Don’t worry, Buffy. I’m sure everything will sort out. You and Spike, you deserve it more than anyone…it can’t go bad.”
Buffy kissed her. “Thank you. Enjoy your day with Connor, and say hello to Angel for me, okay? Oh, and don’t tell him about William. I’ll tell him myself.”
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
Dawn and Connor had decided to meet in the lobby of Wolfram & Hart. When she arrived, he kissed her, his lips brushing her cheek a little longer than necessary. For the moment, they were sharing a nice, close friendship, and neither of them wanted to rush things.
She took his hand. “Let’s go. It’s on the eighth floor.”
“Did you warn him we were coming?”
“I called him yesterday; he said there was no problem.”
The elevator’ doors opened and they stepped into the lobby. Dawn walked to Harmony’s desk, Connor on her trail and observing everything around him with a smile.
“Hey Harmony. We’re here to see Angel. Is he available?”
“Hi Dawn. I think he is, yes. Hold on.” She pressed the intercom. “Boss, Dawn Summers is here.”
“Let her in, Harmony.”
Dawn and Connor walked into the office as Angel stood, smiling at Dawn. “Hey Dawnie. It’s nice to see you. How’s your sis…”
He stopped abruptly, noticing the young man, accompanying her. She didn’t notice his trouble. “Hi Angel. Buffy’s fine. She says hello. Angel, I want you to meet Connor. He goes to UCLA, and is a law student.”
All smile, Connor held his hand. “Good morning, Mr. Angel. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Frozen in place, Angel couldn’t have a coherent thought. This wasn’t happening.
This couldn’t be happening.
He wasn’t supposed to see his son ever again. That had been the deal. His son, that was now smiling and looking at him like he never had before. With respect and appreciation. A look that Angel had hoped to see during an entire year, but in vain. And now he finally got it.
Because Connor had no clue who he really was.
“Angel, are you ok?” Dawn asked, frowning. The vampire then realized that Connor was still with his hand in the air and started to look slightly uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry,” he said, taking Connor’s hand and shaking it, forcing a smile upon his face. He wasn’t prepared for this.
But * who * could be prepared for this? “Nice to meet you, Connor,” he added, wondering briefly why they hadn’t changed his name.
Dawn smiled at him. “I know you have a lot of work, but Connor really wanted to see the inside of Wolfram & Hart.”
“It’s alright,” Angel said, regaining his senses.
Connor walked to the weapons-covered wall, whistling softly. “That’s so cool. I love antiques weapons. Do you use them?”
“With some recalcitrant clients, sometimes, yes,” Angel replied, making it sound like a joke – except it wasn’t. Connor laughed, examining a sword.
Angel swallowed painfully. This was both a nightmare and a wonderful miracle at the same time.
“So, you want to take a tour of the office?” he asked the young man. He couldn’t help but feel proud. This wasn’t the teenager he had known. Connor had turned into a very handsome and confident young man. That barely controlled anger that seemed to inhabit him all the time was gone.
Those last two years, Angel had missed him every day, but he had never doubt he had made the right choice when giving Connor up. Now he had the proof.
He showed the young man around, answering all of his enthusiastic questions. He didn’t know what fate had brought Dawn and Connor together, thus bringing Connor back to him, but he started to think it was more of a miracle than a nightmare. If only he had the slightest chance to be a part of Connor’s life again, whatever small part that may be, he would take it. But he didn’t want to take any risk.
Angel took them to Gunn’s office. He watched closely but Gunn didn’t flinch when he was introduced to Connor. “Gunn is the smart one around here. He’ll answer most of your questions better than I can.”
Connor didn’t let the opportunity pass and started to ask him about all sorts of legal matters. Angel took Dawn aside. “Is the rest of the gang ok?” he asked.
“They are all fine,” she said, biting her tongue. It was hard not to say anything about Spike, but she had promised Buffy. Her sister wanted to tell Angel herself.
“So,” Angel said, “He seems like a nice guy, and smart. Are the two of you dating?”
She giggled. “Not really, no. Well, not yet. He’s cute, isn’t he?”
Angel smiled. “I guess so, yeah.”
“You know, it’s funny. The first time I saw him he reminded me a little bit of you. I don’t know why.”
“Probably the cute factor,” Angel said, raising an eyebrow.
“Or just the fact that he’s tall with brown hair and has a serious look on his face,” she replied teasingly.
Not wanting to go further with the resemblance between Connor and him, he proposed to go on with the tour. They passed by Fred’s lab before returning to Angel’s office. Connor went back to what seemed to be one of his favourite
topics : antique weapons. Angel and him were talking animatedly about fencing and swords.
“I used to fence, but now with college I don’t have much time,” Connor said.
“We have a training room. If you want…I mean, when you have time, you can come here and we can spar,” Angel offered, not sure it was the brightest idea but not caring at all. Seeing Connor’s face brighten was his best reward.
“You’re serious? That would be great!”
Angel smiled at his obvious joy. This was so easy. Why couldn’t it have been that easy two years ago? The circumstances had been so dreadful. He never had had the chance to talk with Connor, to try and build a father/son relationship. Now that they were strangers, maybe that relationship he had longed for had a chance…ironically.
But he knew the terms of the deal he had made with Lilah. Connor would never know, or remember.
Wesley walked into the office. “Angel, I deciphered half of that parchment you…oh, good morning Dawn. How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks. Wesley, this is Connor, a friend from college. He’s a law student.”
“How do you do?” Wesley shook Connor’s hand, smiling. Like Gunn, and Fred, he didn’t seem to recognize the young man.
Angel took one of his business cards and handed it to Connor. “Here’s my number. Call me anytime, if you want to fence, or…anything. Don’t hesitate.” He tried to restrain the pleading from his voice, and only half succeeded. Fortunately, no one noticed.
Connor looked absolutely ecstatic. “Oh, I will, that’s for sure. You’ll soon get tired of hearing my voice all the time,” he joked.
“Oh, I doubt it,” Angel said, giving him a vigorous handshake. A hug would probably have been very confusing and a little bit too much.
“Well, we’ll let you guys work,” Dawn said. “Thanks for the tour, Angel.”
“Thanks again, Mr Angel,” Connor repeated warmly.
“Angel. Just Angel,” the vampire said, watching them leave.
“He seems like quite a nice young man,” Wesley said. “Is he Dawn’s boyfriend?”
“It’s a matter of time, apparently. They make a cute couple. What did you find out…Wes, what are you doing?”
Wesley looked at him, puzzled. “Scratching my neck. It felt itchy all of a sudden. Why?”
“No…no reason. Let’s go back to that parchment.”
Wesley explained what he had found out, but nothing penetrated Angel’s brain.
Lilah had told him that neither Connor nor the others would remember. Their memories had been altered definitively. Angel hadn’t liked to play with his friends’ minds like that, but at the time it had seemed the only reasonable option.
So if there were no risks having Connor back in his life…he would definitely try to make things right this time.
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