CHAPTER 8
“Hello Buffy. I’m glad you could come. We’ve heard so much about you!”
Buffy smiled at Anna Clarke, and her smile widened when she heard William groan softly behind her. The Clarke’s welcomed her warmly and she felt instantly at ease.
During dinner, they asked a lot of questions about her sister and her, and of course about William’s past. Buffy tried to answer the best she could, sticking as close as possible to the version she had already given William. It wouldn’t do good to get something wrong.
The more she went on, the more she realized that it had to stop, and very soon. She hated lying to those nice people as much as to William. And the longer she waited, the bigger the lies got.
She looked at William and her heart sank. He was looking at her with such tenderness on his face…she dreaded the moment where that look would turn into one of incomprehension and absolute confusion.
Thanks to the Clarke’s kindness and the delicious meal, she was able to put the problems aside for a while. But when she found herself alone with William in the evening, they came back full force. She was torn between telling him right away and getting done with it once and for all, or postponing it one last time and enjoy a quiet and loving evening with him.
The coward’s way won, and she didn’t say anything.
“Are you ok?” he asked, noticing her nervousness. “You’re all skittish.”
She smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry. I guess I was a little nervous about meeting Jim and Anna. No reason, because they are truly adorable.”
He took her in his arms, rubbing her back soothingly. “They are. So what’s the real problem? You’re so tense.” His mouth traced a line of kisses against her jaw and neckline and she closed her eyes, sighing.
“Tension definitely going away,” she smiled.
Their lips joined and she put all her heart into the kiss, pressing her body against his, eliciting a moan of pleasure. They took their time to undress each other, kissing and nibbling every part of flesh being unveiled. His hands were running on her skin, and her name was on his lips, each syllable a declaration of love. They exchanged more fevered kisses, and he lifted her in his arms to put her on the bed.
His fingers searched her womanly softness, and let a gasp of pleasure escape when he reached it. With slow, teasing strokes, he brought her rapidly to ecstasy. He was kissing her the whole time, as if he couldn’t get enough of her lips, and she responded to his mouth and his touch eagerly.
They made love passionately, their bodies instinctively finding the perfect rhythm, until a powerful orgasm engulfed them both. Buffy fought to catch her breath. Her climax had almost been painful by its intensity. With her touches and kisses she tried to confer all the love and devotion she felt for him, hoping against all odds some part of him would remember it when she told him the truth. Hoping he would understand she hadn’t tried to hurt him. She loved him too much for that.
“I love you,” she said, echoing her own thought. She couldn’t hold it anymore. And she didn’t want to think that she experienced that perfect bliss for the last time. It couldn’t be.
He kissed her forehead, caressing her cheek, pulling her comfortably against him. “It’s weird because I don’t remember saying those words to anyone,” he whispered, his mouth against her skin. “But when I think about you they are the first that come to mind.”
They lay entangled, kissing and cuddling, but he fell asleep very quickly. And she was glad he couldn’t hear her silent cries.
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
“Angel’s not in his office right now, can I take a message?” Harmony said in a singing voice to someone on the phone. “Oh wait, here he comes. Hold on a minute, please.”
She pushed on a mute button. “Angel, I have this person who wants to…”
“Not now Harmony. Take the message.”
“Ok. Hello, Mr. Connor? He’s not availab…”
Angel, who was walking towards the lift, came back jogging. “It’s alright, I’ll take it in my office.”
Harmony rolled her eyes. “Make up your mind already,” she muttered.
Angel sat behind his desk and took a deep breath before picking up the receiver. “Hello?”
“Mr. Angel? Hi, it’s Connor. Dawn’s friend. Do you remember me?”
“Sure! How’ve you been?”
“I’m good, thanks. I’m sorry to bother you, but you said I could call, so…”
“No, you did well. I’m glad you did call me.”
“I don’t have classes tomorrow afternoon, so if you’re free I would love to take you up on that sparring proposition.”
“That won’t be any problem. Let me see…is two thirty ok for you?”
“That’s great. And thanks for the offer.”
“I’m glad you called. See you tomorrow, Connor.”
“Bye.”
Angel hung up and contemplated the telephone with a goofy grin on his face. He got up and walked out of his office. “Harmony, cancel all my appointments for tomorrow afternoon please.”
“Really? Because you have that meeting with the L’Fnick clan, and they won’t be very hap…”
“Tell them I’m sorry. I have something very important to do.”
She sighed. “Ok. But if they’re pissed enough to try and take over the world, don’t blame it on me.”
Whistling, he was walking over to Wesley’s office when a voice resonated behind him.
“You sound happy. Is this a bad sign?”
Angel turned around, smiling. “Buffy. I just had some good news. How are you?”
“I’m good.” She hugged him.
“It’s nice to see you here. I don’t often have that pleasure.”
“Well, you know what I think about this place.” Her face became serious. “Angel, I need to talk to you about something rather…unexpected.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Well, I’ve had some of that lately. Shoot, I’m prepared.”
“Spike is alive.”
Shock appeared all over his face. “What?”
“He’s alive. And I mean alive as in human. Heartbeat and all that. He was apparently brought back two years ago, a few days after Sunnydale’s destruction.”
“Two years ago? But how…why didn’t he let us know?”
She smiled sadly. “He doesn’t remember. Anything…or anyone.”
They had migrated back into Angel’s office and sat down on the sofa. “How did this happen?” Angel asked. Buffy told him about Giles’ theory, and how she had met Spike – now William – totally randomly while going to the library.
“So it’s like the Shanshu, only with a memory swipe,” he said. “It has its upsides, I suppose. Although it must be kinda frustrating.”
“He got used to it. After two years, he’s resigned, even if he hopes to remember. Of course he’s better since I told him a very altered version of his past.” She sighed. “I’m so sick of lying to him.”
Angel nodded. “I understand.” He looked her in the eyes. “I remember what you told me about your feelings for him two years ago. They haven’t changed, apparently.”
She chuckled. “They’re back with a vengeance. And now that he’s human…I can’t help but think of all the possibilities, the future we could…” She stopped, and Angel took her hand.
“Buffy…I don’t know exactly how I feel about Spike’s return. My other prodigal son…or grandson, in this case.”
She frowned. “What?”
“Never mind. I can’t say I was ecstatic when you told me about your relationship with him. Then he sacrificed himself, and you told me everything he had done. Even if I had some trouble believing you, that resurrection, or whatever it is, seems like a good proof he deserved it. If this makes you happy, if Spike…or William is the one you want, I won’t be the one standing in your way, or telling you what to do.”
She looked at him, amazed. “Wow. Maybe this place doesn’t have such an evil influence after all. Or you’re on drugs,” she joked.
He laughed. “No. Things have just been good lately. I enjoy them while they last.”
She smiled, giving him another hug. Even if they weren’t in love anymore, and didn’t see each other very often, the friendship was definitely there and comforting for both of them.
She let him go and stood up. “Spike…William needs to know the truth. I can’t go on with the pretenses. I love him too much. But I need your help.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Can you be there with me when I tell him? You are his family. Except for me, you’re the person who knows him the best. And I’m afraid he won’t believe me, or won’t even listen if I do this alone. And…it will be easier for me too,” she admitted.
“I get that. Don’t worry, I’ll be there. We should decide what we’re going to tell him, or how…”
“Can you come to my place around 6 tomorrow? I’ll ask him to come around 7, it will give us some time to think about the best way to tell him…if there’s a best way to tell that kind of stuff.”
“I’ll be there,” he repeated.
“Thanks. I have to go back, there’s a bunch of slayers in need of training. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
They hugged one last time. “Really Angel, thank you.”
“Anytime.”
At the door, she turned around. “I like that less broody version of you,” she said with a sweet smile.
“Me too,” he said, and when she was gone he added, “I just hope it won’t hit me right in the face.”
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
Angel had trouble believing Connor would really come to see him, until the young man showed up in the lobby. They shook hands.
“Hey. I hope it’s ok for me to come on a weekday. You must be pretty busy.”
“Don’t worry. I haven’t been training for a while, so it’s a good opportunity for me. Are you ready?”
They took the elevators and Angel led him to a basement floor arranged to serve as a big training room. One of the extremities was full with body building equipments. The other one was empty and destined for wrestling and fencing. After changing in the dressing room, Angel and Connor went to choose amongst an impressive panel of swords.
“En garde,” Angel said in a melodramatic tone, and Connor chuckled. They sparred for some time and Angel realized that his son hadn’t lost his ability to fight. He was still pretty good, and even succeeded in surpassing Angel several times.
They sometimes stopped to drink and chat, Connor telling him about his family and life at college. He looked really radiant and happy. Angel knew he could never tell his son the truth, but being able to talk to him and be the witness of his new life was a miracle in itself. He was immensely grateful for it. And he didn’t want to sound delusional, but maybe they could even become friends. The age difference wasn’t that big anymore. Of course, Connor might one day wonder why Angel didn’t get older. But the vampire would deal with these issues in time. Now he just wanted to enjoy his son’s presence.
The conversation drifted towards Dawn and Angel asked him if they were going out.
Connor smiled and blushed slightly. “Not exactly. But I like her very much, so it will very likely happen soon. I think she likes me too and we definitely have a great friendship.”
“That’s important,” Angel agreed, thinking about his relationship with Cordelia. Not a day passed that he didn’t think about her.
“And you? You have a girlfriend?” Connor asked.
“There was…but she died two years ago. There’s been no one, since.”
“I’m sorry,” Connor said, putting his hand on Angel’s shoulder in a comforting manner. They exchanged a smile.
The rest of the afternoon was spent in that same feeling of complicity and companionship. When it was time for Connor to go, Angel was prompt to assure him he was welcome anytime.
“I had a great time, so if you want to do something…you know, just chill out…when you’re not seeing Dawn, of course,” Angel teased him.
Connor smiled and punched him gently in the shoulder. “It’s a deal. I’ll give you my cell phone number, and we can keep in touch.”
They exchanged a manly hug, and then Connor left, repeating he would call in the next few days.
After he was gone, Angel stayed a few moments in the training room, before remembering he was expected to be at Buffy’s in one hour.
It put a slight damper on his spirits knowing what he would have to do tonight, tell a probably very disbelieving William about his past as a vampire. Since yesterday, he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of relationship he could build with him. After all, they were family. They had hated and loved each other with all their guts. But neither of them could deny the connection, the bond that had always existed between them.
His family was miraculously coming back to him, and even if neither of them remembered anything, Angel decided to give this second chance a good shot.
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