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Chapter 31: Repercussions


“Bloody buggering fuck!” was the first of a long line of curses to come out of his mouth. It was almost five minutes before anything more coherent could be discerned. Finally Spike turned to Warren.

“Find out who she is. No, scratch that. I know WHO she is, I know she hasn’t been lying about THAT. But find out WHAT she is. Who she works for. What she was hoping to find. If she pees I want a report on how long it took and what she drank. Got it?”

“No problem. I’ll find out. One good thing we do know, she’s not a thief. She wasn’t the least bit interested in the cash or the jewelry.”

“Yeah, great. All that proves is that she was looking for something else. Only thing that makes any sense to me is that she’s working for Angelus, but I can’t believe that. I saw how devastated she was in New York. No one is that good an actress. Damn!” Spike crossed over to the safe, and quickly dialed the combination. How the hell had she gotten into the goddamn safe in the first place? But that wasn’t what was important now. “Do you know what she looked at?”

Spike had the safe open and began throwing the contents out on his desk. Warren stopped him when he got to the pertinent notebooks.

“Those two ledgers. And the book at the bottom.”

“Damn!”

Buffy had taken pictures of the private books for Thorndale Pharmaceuticals and an earlier ledger which outlined the details of the secret formula for Thorndale’s flagship energy drink. But those two hardly concerned him at the moment. It was the contents of the third book he was worried about. He had forgotten he had even kept a journal back then. His hands were shaking so hard he was afraid to even touch the book. Instead he gestured to Warren and made him stack everything back securely in the safe.

“It doesn’t make any sense.” Spike watched Warren carefully to make sure that everything made it back where it belonged. “What does she want from me? As soon as you find out anything, Warren, anything at all, call me. I’ll be in the basement. Until then, I don’t want to be disturbed.”

In the basement, Spike stripped down to his boxers and began to train. He began with a few stretches, and then moved on to the free weights. After than came a long session on the treadmill, followed by several rounds with a punching bag. None of it made him feel any better. It only made him tired.

Determined to take a short rest and then begin the cycle again, Spike slipped into the steam room. He’d relax for a few minutes, then get back to his workout.

~*~


Buffy had the cab take them directly to Tara’s. It was so early in the morning, that she knew that Tara would still be at home. She needed someone to confide in, and she needed it now.

Calling from the cab, Buffy filled Tara in on what to expect.

As Dawn emerged from the car, Tara hugged her. Buffy was nonplussed. “You two know each other?” She had thought Dawn was Spike’s dirty little secret, no matter how innocent the two of them tried to make it sound.

“Yeah. Tara’s almost like my Aunt. We met months ago, when I first came to stay over at Spike’s. Tara and I talk at least once a week. So you see, I did have someone else looking out for me.”

“And you were okay with this arrangement, Tara?” She crossed her arms and glared at the older woman. “You do know how Dawn came to be in Spike’s house, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. I just didn’t see how my getting involved would help things any. I’m sorry you have to hear me say it Dawn, but her mother is totally irresponsible, and if I were to bring it up to the courts they’d either want to send her back to her mother or put her in foster care. Instead I was the one who thought of the private school arrangement. That way, by the time anyone questioned what was up, Dawn would already be placed where she’d be happiest, and the court would likely let it stand. I thought it was a good solution. Apparently you didn’t.”

“No. It’s totally inappropriate for her to stay at that house. She thinks…she was supposed to…” Just because Dawn and Anya apparently had no trouble talking about these types of things, didn’t mean that Buffy could. Her mouth just couldn’t seem to form the words.

“I know what was supposed to happen.” Tara reached out a hand to try and calm her friend. “But it didn’t. Even Dawn will testify as much, won’t you Hon?”

“What, that Spike wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole?” Dawn seemed engrossed in playing with the gravel on the driveway. She refused to look up at either of the two women who were now in control of her fate. In her experience, women meant trouble. Men, she could manipulate to get whatever she wanted. Well, mostly. But that wouldn’t work on these two - and they were going to decide her fate between them. She was sure that she would be given very little choice in the matter.

Finally she looked up at Tara. Spike had said nice things about Buffy, but she didn’t actually know her. So far, by Dawn’s estimation at least, Buffy hadn’t seemed to act too reasonably. The only good thing she’d done so far was to turn to Tara for advice.

“Yeah, I suppose I’d have to admit it if it came to that. Still pure as the driven snow, that’s me. But, boy my Mom would be mad as hell if she found out how we’d lied to her. But if it would help Spike, I’d swear on a stack of Bibles, take a lie detector test, anything.”

Without too much fuss Tara had moved the trio into her kitchen, which was sunny, bright and inviting. Without being asked, Tara had started coffee brewing and had begun making scrambled eggs and toast.

“Well, I guess we’ll have to let social services in on it now, since you feel so strongly about it, Buffy. I’ll give them a call and get things started this morning. I take it you’re willing to let Dawn stay with you until things get sorted, or do you want me to take her down there with me?”

Seeing the frightened look on Dawn’s face, Buffy knew that she would have to take responsibility for what she had done. “Fine, fine, she can stay with me. But you and I have some other things we need to discuss.”

After they had finished their breakfast, Tara sent Dawn outside to play with her cat. She poured them each more coffee, and waited patiently for the other woman to begin.

“I saw Spike’s paintings last night, Tara. You do know that he is seriously disturbed, don’t you?”

“Well, I’m not so sure about the ‘seriously’ part, but I know he has issues. I’ve seen his paintings; I know what they contain. But I also know that they’re a manifestation of his guilt, Buffy, but that does not necessarily mean that they’re proof of anything.”

“What do you mean? Of course they’re proof.”

“Not necessarily. They mean that he feels guilty, not that he necessarily *is* guilty – at least not in the legal sense of the word, or even necessarily in the moral sense. I mean, most of the pictures in that collection contain images of his mother. There is no way that Spike actually had anything to do with her death, even though he still feels guilty about it. It’s like survivors of a disaster, who feel guilty because so many people died and they didn’t. Doesn’t mean they caused the disaster. It’s just human nature to feel that way. And I’ve heard all about that poor girl in China, and I still don’t know what instigated that chain of events. Giles or somebody down in legal would know better whether it would take to make a charge stand up in court, but I don’t think it’s likely to be prosecuted at this late date.”

“But there were other pictures as well. People that Spike couldn’t identify. As well as two that I could. Two of the men we ran into in New York, the ones that tried to rob us, they were in his picture of me.”

“Ah. No wonder you’re so upset.” Tara took a sip of her coffee, and brought a small plate of biscotti over to the table so she and Buffy could still nibble while they talked. She knew that sharing food was a good way to diffuse a confrontation.

“I know that Spike thinks he may have killed those men, Buffy. But I don’t think he did. Did you know he told me about it when you got back, along with all the other horrible things that happened in New York? After that discussion, I used Agency resources to check his story. No police report on the altercation, which we knew. But also no bodies with injuries fitting those described. No matching corpses in the morgue that night, or the rest of the week. I even used Agency resources to check hospital records. I couldn’t find a trace anywhere. So either their gang was unusually thorough in cleaning up, or they weren’t injured that badly.”

“Why didn’t you tell Spike that?”

“For one thing, it probably wouldn’t have helped. The guilt that he feels isn’t really rational. Just because I told him it wasn’t so, doesn’t mean his feelings about it would change. Plus, when it comes right down to it, I really didn’t want him questioning how I got so much information about events on the other side of the continent. He’s pretty smart – he can put two and two together pretty well. Does this make you feel any better?”

“Maybe. I’ll have to think about it. But there’s something else.” Buffy pushed her chair away from the table and stood. She made her way over to the coffee maker and poured herself another cup, but she didn’t drink it, biting her lower lip instead. “While I was there, just before I ran into Dawn, I got into the safe in his office. Photographed some documents and stuff. Most of it, I’ll hand over to Giles. But I also took pictures of a notebook he had – more of a diary really. I just glanced at it while I was taking the photographs, but the more I think about it, I’m afraid to read it.”

Moving back over to their table, Buffy set the cup down, but she didn’t sit. “If I give it to you instead of Giles, will you read it and let me know what I should do? I mean, if it does say he killed those girls, I’ll have hand it over to the proper authorities. But if it doesn’t - well, it looked really personal. I’d feel uncomfortable reading it, and I don’t think I want my boss to see it either. I mean, for some reason, Giles really has it in for Spike. I don’t want to give him any ammunition that he doesn’t need. I mean, not if Spike really is innocent, like you keep telling me.”

“No problem, Buffy. I think I have a pretty good idea what may be in there. But if you were in his safe, there’s something else you need to know. Chances are better than good that Spike knows by now that he’s been had. His security at home is pretty tight – you may have gotten out of there without a confrontation, but don’t assume for a second that he doesn’t know exactly what went down in his house last night. Without knowing what’s in the documents you copied it’s hard to judge how he’ll react – except that he’ll know that you took advantage of him – betrayed his trust. I would be much more cautious from here on out. He may try to pretend he doesn’t know what happened, and maybe you can use that, but I’m almost sure that does, or he will, soon. So I think it’s important that I take a look at what you’ve given me, and that you get the rest of that file over to Giles as soon as possible. You are going to give the other documents to Giles, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. I don’t see how I can not. I don’t know what Giles will make of any of it. It’s all too twisted for me. I don’t know what to think about anything. I can’t really tell whether Spike’s one of the good guys or one of the bad guys. I wish things were simple.”

Tara followed Buffy’s eyes to where she could see Dawn playing on the lawn with Ms. Kittyfantastico. “With any luck, we’ll be able to keep things simple for Dawn. You’re right about one thing. I think she should be our first concern right now. She’ll stay with you for a few days, a week or two at most, then we’ll send her to St. Cecelia’s for full time boarding. I’m sure if the request comes from me, Spike won’t have any problem paying for it. I think he really cares for Dawn. And we’ll all be able to visit her – even her mother if she wants – but we’ll all know that she’s safe there – that she’ll be allowed the opportunity to grow up just like any other little girl. And assuming that everything just blows over, she’ll never have to know that Spike was under investigation.”

“That’s a low blow, Tara, and you know it. Dawn will be fine whatever happens.”

“Will she, Buffy? She knows that her mother is dirt, and right now she thinks that Spike is her own personal guardian angel. What do you think would happen if she learned that her knight in shining armor is really the devil in disguise? That he’s murdered little girls not much older than she is now. Add to that her two most trusted female friends both turn out to work for a secret government agency? Do you think that she’ll believe that any of us really had her best interests at heart? Trust can be such a fragile thing. Once broken, it can almost never be repaired.”





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