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Chapter 34: Still Life

The evening at Buffy’s house hadn’t gone well at all. Dawn had not been happy to be there, didn’t appreciate Buffy’s efforts to clear a space for her, and hadn’t offered to help with anything. All Dawn did was make disparaging comments about Buffy’s apartment, her lifestyle, and her forcing her away from what she had known as home for the last several months.

“How do you expect me to get anything done, stuck here in this tiny apartment with you? It’s not like I even have anything with me; I’m like a refugee or something. No clothes, no music, not even any school books, nothing! I know, I’ll just sit here and contemplate my navel until you finally decide to release me from this prison and let me go back to Spike’s. Even my Mom’s would be better than this. At least I know people there.”

“It’s not that bad, Dawn. We’ll have Tara arrange to get your stuff first thing in the morning. And you’ll get to meet my friends Xander and Willow – I think you’ll really like them.”

“Why’s that? Because they’re not like you?”

“That was uncalled for Dawn. Xander is really sweet, and I’ve known him like forever. And Willow too. Willow’s the brainy one – she’s really great with computers. I’m sure you’ll get along fine.”

“Right. I’m sure we’ll chat together about Kingdom Hearts and all the really cute boys at school, just like I do with my friend Janice.” Dawn rolled her eyes and glanced over at the bulky old computer on Buffy’s desk. “Can that old dinosaur even IM or download music? I bet it can’t even run any of the new software.”

“Hey, that was my Mom’s computer, and it works just fine, thank you.”

“No need to get huffy about it. I didn’t realize you were personally attached to it or anything. But it was your Mom’s, so I guess I get that. I don’t need to use it.”

Dawn slumped off to the spare room where Buffy had hastily made up a bed, and Buffy didn’t see her again for the rest of the night.

In the morning Dawn flatly refused to go to school. “What am I going to wear? I don’t have anything but the clothes I was wearing yesterday! Plus, no books and no homework, all add up to a really lousy day for Dawn. I know, maybe I should tell my teachers that I was kidnapped by aliens! It wouldn’t be that far from the truth.”

Finally Buffy relented, and called Xander over to watch the Gallery (and not coincidentally Dawn) while she went in to work for a while. She didn’t want to give the girl any ideas, but she wasn’t entirely sure that if she left Dawn alone she would still be there when Buffy got back.

At least the meeting with Xander had gone well. Buffy had suggested that he bring over some movies, some video games and game console, and the two had immediately bonded. Buffy didn’t want to think what it meant that her grown friend, all of twenty-eight years old, watched the same TV shows and played the same games as a fourteen-year-old. She was glad that she had stopped by the grocery store the night before and stocked up on junk food. She figured the two of them were set for the day.

The first thing she did when she got to work was to ask Tara to call Spike about Dawn’s things. It made sense that she would use Tara as an intermediary. After all, Spike had been the one to introduce them to each other.

Buffy was also anxious to ask Tara what she had found in the journal she’d given her to read. If it was something that she needed to let Giles know about, it was probably best to do it right away, while she could still claim it was an oversight. If there was nothing in there that Giles needed to see…well, she was still halfway to her goal of getting Spike in the clear. The Chinese girl had turned out to be a non-issue, at least in the legal sense, and nothing else had seemed to catch Giles’s attention. She was beginning to hope that Giles was as tired of the whole cloak and dagger routine as she was.

She tried to convince herself that Tara was wrong, and that Spike wouldn’t find out who she was and who she worked for. She probably should have mentioned that theory to Giles, but she’d felt bad enough after his tirade that she didn’t want to give him any more ammunition. Still, a part of her understood that if she and Spike were to ever have a real relationship, she would have to come clean about everything. Of course it would probably be better if she actually told him, rather than let him find out on his own.

By early afternoon Buffy had already spoken to Xander twice more and discovered that Andrew had arrived at her apartment with Dawn’s belongings. Apparently he had decided to spend the afternoon with them eating potato chips, watching movies and playing video games. She had also gotten a promise from Xander that both he and Dawn would keep well away from the stove.

It wasn’t until afternoon that Buffy had the opportunity to sit down and talk to Tara. “Well?” Buffy asked. She was not looking forward to this conversation.

“It’s not pretty. And you’re right, it was very personal. But no, before you go ballistic, I don’t think it’s something Giles needs to see. The journal ends before he gets to New York, so there’s no mention of Nikki Wood, and it basically confirms what he already said about the death of Mi Ling Chan. So the only problem is with Emra, the girl in Romania. And I won’t lie to you Buffy, she is mentioned in the journal. He doesn’t give the details, but it implies that Spike was there when she died. Of course he also claims to be innocent of having any part in actually killing her.”

“But then…” This SO was not good news.

“I know what you’re thinking, Buffy. That would make Spike an accessory, or at least a witness. But he doesn’t remember any of it. He and I have both known for a long time that he is subject to ‘blackouts,’ periods of time where he has no conscious memory of events. I know this is a conflict of interest, and if I was merely an agent, and not personally involved in all this, I would probably recommend that we turn the journals in as evidence and try to prosecute the guilty parties. Names, first names at any rate, are mentioned in the notebook. But that would present a number of problems, not the least of which is that we have no legal right to this evidence at all. Then there’s the complication that with no memory of these events, Spike isn’t competent as a witness to corroborate his own story, or to testify against the others. As a therapist, I have to mention that forcing him to remember something that he’d obviously rather forget could be potentially damaging. He’s probably as unstable now as he’s ever been. This could push him over the edge. So I think a compromise would be best all around. I think that we should tell Giles about the journal, and let him make the decision.”

“I know you have Spike’s best interests at heart Tara. You’ve been a good friend to him, and somehow I think he’s needed that. I’ll go with your opinion. I just wish there was a way to end this whole ordeal once and for all.”

“Well, I do have an idea that might work to everyone’s advantage. Of course we’d have to convince Giles and Spike to both cooperate, and I don’t think that’s going to be easy. But if it does work, I think the outcome will be to everyone’s benefit. What did Giles say when you told him I thought your cover had been compromised?”

“I kinda didn’t mention that part. I figured I was in enough hot water as it was. Giles was not pleased that I’d done some extra-curricular snooping.”

“Well, we’ll have to remedy that. For this to work, every one is going to have to agree to put their cards on the table. That will be easier for Giles to do if he knows that Spike has already figured you for a plant of some kind. But it won’t be easy. Both men are stubborn, secretive, and like to be in control of everything around them. They’re neither of them going to like a situation that brings about a fair trade of information from both sides.”





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