Author's Chapter Notes:
This is probably a good place to leave this until after the holidays. Hope everyone has a happy and safe break.
Chapter 42. Coming To a Decision

On the way to find her friends, Buffy literally ran into Warren, almost spilling her drink. Tara had told her a long time ago that of all of Spike’s associates, she found Warren the most unsettling. Buffy had to agree with her. The man was far too obsequious for her tastes. Whereas both Jonathan and Andrew could be placating servile, something about Warren just rubbed her the wrong way. His attitude always seemed slightly off, like he was laughing behind her back.

Even tonight his smile seemed too wide, his manner too conciliatory.

“Oh, Buffy. Sorry, I didn’t see you there. Are you enjoying the festivities?” Buffy had to remind herself that Spike had allowed his staff and employees to attend the party as guests. She had talked to Jonathan earlier, and he had explained to her that although he and Andrew had made all the decisions, Spike had hired a catering service to actually prepare and serve the food. It was a gesture that Warren didn’t seem to appreciate.

“Warren. The party is lovely. You can tell Jonathan and Andrew put a lot of thought into planning everything. Have you seen Dawn anywhere, or Tara?” She wasn’t completely sure that Warren knew who Tara was, but Dawn had lived in Spike’s house for months. He couldn’t possibly have missed her.

“Sure, Buffy, Tara and that red-headed girl she came with were just in the kitchen. Dawn’s looking awfully tired. You might want to suggest that one of them take Dawn home early. Then you’ll be able to just relax and enjoy the rest of the party.”

Buffy just smiled as she walked off, sipping her wine. Aside from running into Riley, everything really was going incredibly well. That is, besides the crying fiasco when Spike had unveiled the painting which had caught Buffy off guard. And the fact that she really needed a few minutes to get her head together and decide where her loyalties lay.

She wasn’t sure that she even liked Riley anymore, but he was a co-worker, and her terms of employment were very specific: she should NEVER under any circumstances, compromise another Agent’s cover. But she really felt as if she should warn Spike that “Richard Fine” was trouble. Maybe that was enough of a warning. She could tell him to be careful, without being specific or having to give away state secrets. That seemed the easiest solution. She would make a point of talking to Spike about it before she left the party.

Spike had certainly been the perfect host, and the event seemed to be a huge success. She ought to take Warren’s advice and let herself unwind a bit. But she agreed with his sentiment that that would be hard to do with Dawn looking over her shoulder every minute. Maybe she would try to send the girl home early. Certainly Tara and Willow wouldn’t mind.

Observing from the doorway, Buffy saw that Warren was right. Dawn was yawning as she entered the kitchen.

“Buffy. How are you holding up?” Tara inquired at the same time that Willow piped up with her own question, “Are you glad that you came, Buffy?”

“I’m good, Tara.” Buffy smiled. She knew that her new friend had had a major role in getting this whole party idea going. But it seemed to be working. She was feeling happier and more at ease with Spike every minute. It felt good.

She nodded over at her oldest friend. She and Willow had known each other since freshman year in high school. It was a great relief to have a friend that knew her so well. One that could relate to both sides of her life. “And yeah, Willow,” she answered her friend’s question, “I think I am glad that I came. It’s about time Spike and I both tried to get over the past, let bygones be bygones, that kind of thing. What about you two and Dawn? Are you having a good time?”

Tara turned to the young teen, “Are you just bored, sweetie, or are you really that tired?”

“Well, its not like it’s any big excitement to me to see Spike’s house. I did live here for months until I was forced to move in with Buffy. And Spike is too busy playing host to spend any time with me, and Buffy’s busy making goo-goo eyes at him…”

“I am not making goo-goo eyes!” Buffy protested. “I’ll have you know I have behaved in a totally respectable manner all evening. It’s just that – well, I never mentioned it – but that painting Spike is showing off? He only bought it because of me. That’s the painting we were both looking at when we first met. He went to a lot of trouble to get that painting, and it was a very sweet gesture.”

“Yeah, sure. Now he’s sweet again.” Dawn rolled her eyes. Sometimes Buffy could be so frustrating. “I really wish you would make up your mind one way or the other Buffy. Either you like and the guy and you trust him – or you don’t. You know where Tara and I stand.”

“I’m working on it, okay?” Buffy grumbled. “You know you really don’t have to stay Dawn. I’m sure Tara and Willow would be glad to take you home, and you could spend the night with one of them.”

Willow was the first to sputter out a “Sure, no problem,” as an indefinable look passed between the two women. Buffy couldn’t put an emotion to it, but if she were forced to choose she would probably say that Willow was embarrassed and Tara was disappointed. Neither of which made any sense.

“You’re just saying that because you don’t want us spying on you love birds,” the teen teased. “Not that I’m complaining. Not in the least.” Dawn grabbed Tara’s hand, “I’m totally ready to go. You don’t mind, do you Tara?”

“Of course not, sweetie,” Tara winked. “Have fun Buffy.”

Buffy stayed in the kitchen by herself for a long time, sipping her drink and thinking. It looked like both Tara and Dawn were in favor of her rebuilding a relationship with Spike, a real relationship this time, based on mutual trust instead of lies, while Willow was being cautious and reserving judgment as usual. That was pretty much as good as could be expected. And that must be a good thing, right? And she did miss him. It was becoming more and more difficult to have to listen to Dawn chattering about events going on in Spike’s life, but not be able to really talk to him.

Before she had started to get to know him, she hadn’t realized how empty her life had been. And now that events had torn them apart, she was coming to see how much he had meant to her. She almost wished that things had happened differently, that she had been a different person. Maybe then they would have gotten it right the first time.

“I didn’t get a chance to tell you earlier, but you look lovely tonight,” the soft voice issuing from the doorway startled her out of her thoughts. “Mind if I join you for a minute, pet?” Spike’s voice continued in that soft, intimate way he had sometimes. With Dawn, Tara, and Willow gone, just now, there was no one else; she was alone in the kitchen with William Thorndale. How very domestic. Smiling, Buffy realized that the party really had been a good idea. She was finally beginning to relax around him again. And he really was a vision standing there in the what was probably the same suit he had been wearing the night they had first met. Things had seemed so much less complicated then.

“So do you.” At his raised brow she elaborated, “You look lovely too. Or I mean, handsome, I guess.” Smiling wider at seeing that he took her simple compliment so well, she continued, “Did I tell you that the painting looks terrific where you hung it? I hope you are enjoying your party.” She knew she was babbling, but she couldn’t stop herself. There was something important that she had wanted to tell him, but she couldn’t remember it just now. The way she was feeling, she could barely remember her own name, but she didn’t particularly care.

All she could think about was how very sexy he looked tonight, and how much of a mistake it had been to let this relationship end. Maybe if she had fought harder to keep them together, maybe if she had explained herself better… All she knew was that, suddenly she wanted him more than she had ever before.

Spike could tell that the evening was looking up. Buffy hadn’t complained about his touch earlier or, nor about his nearness now. Back in the media room, she had laid her head on his shoulder, and eh had felt closer to her than he had in a long while. Just now, she was looking at him like she had months and months ago, when he had taken her home after she’d gotten drunk at that restaurant. Eyes wide and vulnerable, as if she really cared for him.

Spike was in heaven. Leaning down to whisper in her ear, he decided to take a chance, “It’s better when you’re at my side,” he whispered.

Although he still harbored lingering doubts, as well as twinges of anger towards the blonde, it was becoming apparent to Spike that although he meant to hold a grudge against Buffy, his heart didn't agree. He couldn’t help it. He was going to have to capitulate and admit to himself that he was in love with her. And if there were the slightest hope that she would accept him back into her life again, he would take it, despite the consequences. The girl was the queen of mixed signals, but so far tonight she hadn’t seemed to mind his attentions. And once again her smile as she looked up at him brightened the room.

Without any protest from her at all, Spike slipped beside her and gathered her into a breif embrace – as if they were friends making up after a fight.

“I bet you say that to all the girls.” Buffy smiled and turned around in his arms. “Would you dance with me?”

He hadn’t expected that enthusiastic a response. Not one to complain when things were going his way, Spike held Buffy closer and began to sway gently to the soft strains of the music just barely discernable drifting in from the other room. Catching her in his arms more tightly, Spike pulled her close. Since he had known her, Buffy had never been much for dancing.

“Have a bit too much to drink again, pet?” He wondered at the sudden change in her attitude towards him. This was more like the woman he had first met – sweet and vulnerable, and not at all suspicious that his motives were anything other than the obvious.

“What? No. This is my first glass, and it’s only half empty,” Buffy declared. “I just decided that I owe it to myself to have a good time tonight. It’s a party, and I want to celebrate.”

Leaning in close as he swept her around the kitchen floor, Spike whispered in her ear again. “What are you celebrating?”

“Me. I’ve come to a decision.” Flipping her hair back in a way known to women since before hairspray was invented, she looked in his eyes and plunged forward with what she needed to say before she lost the nerve, “I want to be with you.”

He had to remind his feet to keep moving. It couldn’t be what it sounded like, could it? “Pet?”

“Now, Spike. We’ve waited long enough.” She was blushing crimson as she looked him in the eyes and pursed her lips. They both swallowed hard. “I want you to take me upstairs. To your bedroom.”

Flabbergasted, Spike let himself be let away from the kitchen and towards the back stairs. His guests would be just fine without him. On the way he managed to catch Jonathan’s eye, and knew that the younger man would make his excuses to anyone who asked for him. There would be damned few. Everyone was happy to enjoy his hospitality, but there would be only a handful who would actually notice his absence the rest of the evening.

As she whisked him up the back staircase, Spike wondered what had finally gotten Buffy to change her mind? Whatever it was, he wasn’t going to question it. She had made him the happiest man on earth.





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