Chapter Eleven
Buffy stirred her fruit salad absently as she stared at Spike and Drusilla sitting on the other side of the cafeteria, engaged in quiet conversation. As she watched Dru reached out a hand to stroke Spike’s arm, leaning over to whisper into his ear. Spike suddenly turned red in the face, his eyes widening comically. Buffy grimaced. That girl is such a hobiscuit, she thought.
“It really bothers you doesn’t it?”
“What?” Buffy jumped as she broke out of her musings to face Willow.
“Spike and Drusilla. It bothers you to see him with her.”
“No of course not,” Buffy denied. “He’s been interested in her for ages.”
Willow just rolled her eyes. “Knowing that he has a thing for her is different from having to watch him with her.” Willow grinned cheekily. “You like him don’t you.”
Tears sprang to Buffy’s eyes and she chewed her bottom lip, unable to answer.
“Oh Buffy I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Willow put her hand over Buffy’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Are you in love with him?”
“I don’t know Willow. I just…we’ve been friends for so long, but I never really thought of him as more than that. Then this past summer…” Buffy gave an exasperated sigh. “We both changed so much. On the inside as well, you know? We saw new sides of each other. It was so exciting. Then with the changes on the outside on top of that, suddenly there were sparks flying all over the place.”
“Oh Buffy. That sounds so romantic.” Willow said eagerly. “Did anything happen between you?”
Buffy couldn’t help the dreamy smile that appeared, or the flush that crept into her cheeks. “We flirted a lot. And we kissed once.”
Willow bounced excitedly in her seat. “What was it like?”
Buffy’s blush grew stronger as she remembered the feel of Spike’s lips on hers. “Amazing.”
Willow’s eyes flickered from Buffy to Spike and Dru and her enthusiasm died abruptly. “So what’s with the whole Angel and Dru thing?”
Buffy dropped her head into her hands. “We were worried that if we just decided to be together, without ever really seeing what else the world had to offer, that it would be like taking the easy way out. Plus we weren’t sure that it would last, what was happening between us. I mean what if we’d gotten together and then in a couple of weeks the attraction faded and we wanted to experience being with other people. Our friendship could have been ruined."
Willow frowned thoughtfully. “Okay. I guess all of that makes sense in a logical, academic sort of way. But Buffy, how do you feel?”
“I want to scratch Dru’s eyes out,” Buffy stated simply.
Willow laughed. “Oh yeah, that’s not going to hurt your friendship with Spike at all.”
Buffy pushed her plate away, her appetite gone. “I’m still glad we did what we did. The whole Angel thing turned out to be a bit of a debacle but at least now I know that I don’t want anything to do with him. Plus Spike seems to really like Dru. I wouldn’t have wanted him to be with me because he believed he couldn’t be with her. If we’re ever together it has to be because he chose me, not because he settled for me.”
“Buffy,” Willow admonished gently. “He never would have felt that way about you.”
“Maybe.” Buffy shrugged. “Or maybe if he was with me now, he would still gaze across the room at her sometimes and wonder ‘what if’. Besides, look at him, he’s happy with her.”
Willow snorted. “If you ask me he looks a little bored.”
Buffy returned her eyes to Spike, who was now sitting quietly among Dru’s friends as they chatted. At that moment his eyes wandered around the room, stopping when they landed on her.
Unable to help herself Buffy sent him a big grin and a wink. Spike broke out into a smile, shaking his head at her in amusement. Noticing the change in his focus Dru quickly ran her hand through his hair, drawing his attention back to her.
Hearing Willow’s stifled giggling Buffy looked back to her friend. “What?”
“You.” Willow gave up and chortled loudly. “You’re still flirting with him.”
“Well,” Buffy admitted ruefully, “just because I’m not standing in his way doesn’t mean I’m going to let him forget I’m here.”
Willow nodded her approval. “I always knew you were a smart girl.”
The bell rang and the two girls gathered their things to head to class. “Let’s go to The Bronze tonight,” Buffy suggested as they made their way down the hall.
“Huh?”
“Please Willow? I can’t let people think I’m sitting at home pining over Angel or something. Plus it’s Friday and we’re two hot single girls. Let’s go wild.”
Willow laughed at Buffy’s enthusiasm but looked a little wary. “I don’t know Buffy. I’m not so much with the hot as I am the single.”
“Oh please. If I can look hot so can you. Come over to my place after school and we’ll get all vampy.”
Despite her hesitation Willow found herself caught up in Buffy’s excitement. “Okay. But if I end up looking like an idiot I’m so blaming you.”
Mere hours later Buffy was bouncing on her heels, clapping excitedly. “Willow you look gorgeous.”
“I don’t know Buffy are you sure?”
“I’m positive.” Buffy gave her friend a final once over. The little black dress she’d lent Willow fitted her slender figure to perfection. The deep V of the neckline showing just the right amount of cleavage. The knee-high black boots gave an extra couple of inches to her already statuesque form. Willow’s hair was lightly curled and drawn back with some hairclips, emphasising the red tint they’d put through it that afternoon. She looked carefree but elegant.
Satisfied with her handiwork Buffy turned back to the mirror to finish applying the deep red lipstick that completed her own look. The blood red pants and loose sparkly black top reflected her mood. Tonight she wanted to be sexy and fun. She was going to have a good time if it killed her.
Turning to her friend she smiled happily. “Okay Willow. Let’s go have some fun.”
**********
“Dingoes Ate My Baby are playing at The Bronze tonight. I thought we might go check it out.”
“Alright.”
“Buffy and Willow will be there as well.”
“Hmmm. How…lovely.”
Spike looked up from his hamburger. “Problem pet?”
“I was looking forward to spending time alone with you.”
“We will. I just thought it might be nice if you got to know my friends a little better. I think you and Buffy would get on really well if you got to know each other.”
Dru smiled indulgently. “If you say so Spike.”
When they entered the club a little while later his eyes scanned the crowd automatically. He caught sight of Buffy with Willow on the dance floor and his heart stopped, then began a staccato thumping in his chest. She looked gorgeous. Her body flowed in an ecstasy of motion. The two girls were completely immersed in the music, seemingly oblivious to the lustful gazes directed their way by every male in the general vicinity.
Jerked back to awareness by the prodding of Dru’s elbow, Spike led her to a table near where Buffy and Willow were dancing and when they left the floor Spike called Buffy’s name.
“Oh yay,” Buffy muttered under her breath when she spied them. Squaring her shoulders she approached the table confidently.
“Good evening Spike. Dru.”
“Hello Buffy.”
The two women glared icily at each other, both sizing up the competition. Noticing the vibes between them Spike sought to ease the tension. “Are you having a good night love?”
“I’m having a great night,” Buffy replied. “And it’s only going to get better.”
Caught fast in her gaze he asked, “And why is that?”
Buffy tilted her head slightly and flashed him her ‘special smile’. “Because I’m here to have a little fun.” Then she waggled her eyebrows at them cheekily and sauntered off into the crowd.
**********
Spike sat gritting his teeth in impotent fury. He was trying to pay attention to Drusilla, after all they were supposed to be on a date. However, Cordelia and a couple of Dru’s other friends had joined them a few hours earlier so he was freed from being too attentive. That, of course, only gave him more time to watch Buffy having ‘fun’.
Faith had shown up not long after they’d spoken and joined her and Willow on the dance floor. Willow was currently tucked into a corner with the lead guitarist of Dingoes Ate My Baby, who had just finished their last set. Buffy and Faith were still on the floor, dancing as if their lives depended on it. They flirted with each other blatantly, to the delight of the throng of guys surrounding them. Buffy had danced with practically every guy they went to school with and quite a few they didn’t know. Granted she hadn’t let any of them get too close but still…there were so damn many of them!
“Well now we know what happens when a nerd decides to play dress-up.” Cordelia’s sarcastic tone just reached him over the sound of his own blood rushing through his veins. “Instant slut. Just add lipstick.”
The others at the table laughed but Spike pinned her with a glare. “Watch your mouth Chase.”
“Oh I’m sorry William,” Cordelia sneered. “I forgot little miss trampy used to be your friend.”
“There’s no ‘used to be’ about it,” Spike replied. “And make no mistake, Buffy’s more of a lady than you’ll ever be.”
Ignoring Dru’s frown Spike turned back to the floor only to find Buffy gone. Catching a glimpse of blonde hair toward the back of the club he took after her like a shot. She had just entered the short corridor that led to the bathrooms when he caught up with her.
“Buffy.”
Surprised by his sudden appearance Buffy walked back toward him with a cheerful smile. “Hey there Spike.”
He could see the faint sheen of perspiration still on her brow. Her eyes sparkled with life and her skin was flushed from her exertions. Everything about her called to him like the sweetest siren and that only added to his irritation.
“What do you think you’re doing out there?”
Puzzled by his tone and the anger she sensed in him she instinctively took a step back. “What are you talking about? I’m just dancing. Having a good time.”
“Is that what you call it? Rubbing up against Faith like a lover, then passing yourself around to any man who comes up to you?”
“Excuse me?” Indignation flooded through her as he spoke. “I am not doing anything wrong. I will dance with whomever I choose, however I choose. Since you’ve obviously been watching me so closely you will know that not one of them has laid so much as a hand on me.” She took a step towards him, until she was just short of touching him. “And Spike, if I want that to change, that’s my choice as well.”
“You know what you’re doing to them. You’ve got every male in the club sporting a raging hard-on for you.”
Buffy’s eyes dropped to the front of Spike’s jeans, then she raised them back to his face with a whisper of a smile. “Every male?”
Spike control snapped and he pushed her back into the wall, pressing his body up against hers roughly. “Yes.” He threaded his hands deep into her hair, holding her head still. “Is that what you want Buffy? To drive me mad for you?”
Shocked, and a little frightened, by his actions Buffy could only shake her head. “No.”
“No?” He echoed. Allowing her to turn her head away from him he took the opportunity to press his lips against the heated skin of her neck, licking at the saltiness he found there. “You don’t want me to want you?” he asked throatily. Sliding one hand down he cupped her breast, making her whimper when his thumb brushed over the hardened tip. “To touch you?”
Though her mind was screaming for him to stop Buffy’s body rebelled, arching eagerly into his. This brief taste of everything she wanted from him was torture and she cried out at the exquisite agony of it.
“Tell me you want me Buffy,” he whispered against her ear, groaning when she trembled in his arms.
“No, “ she gasped, desperate to stop him before they went any further. “William stop, you’re hurting me.”
His reaction was like lightening. He tore himself away from her, pain flashing across his shocked features, as he realised what he’d done. “Buffy I’m so sorry–” he began, but she cut him off.
“No! I won’t do this Spike.” She pinned him with her eyes, making sure she had his full attention. “You want to hear me say it?” she asked angrily. “I still want you. I do. These feelings…they haven’t gone away. But you can’t have it both ways Spike. You’re with Dru. So you can’t touch me or kiss me. Not anymore. And I won’t wait for you.” Stifling a sob Buffy disappeared back into the club.
Spike leant back again the wall, pressing the heels of his hands against his temples as he struggled to regain his breath. Blood pounded through his veins with a ferocity he’d never felt before. Anger, hurt, confusion, passion, love. His breath hitched as the word screamed through his brain. Love. Was he in love with Buffy?
“Spike?”
He hadn’t realised Dru had entered the hallway until she spoke. Trying to collect himself he pushed away from the wall and walked over to her. She watched him with knowing eyes, as if she knew what would happen next. Had expected it all along. He stood before her, his body still awash with emotion from the confrontation with Buffy, and he realised that Dru, for all her mysteries, would never inspire in him such a torrent of feeling. She was still beautiful to him, with her dark features and soft curves. But suddenly, when he looked at Dru now, he felt nothing.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Hi all. I'm back! Sorry about the delay in updates but my baby decided to arrive two weeks early and it's taken me this long to restore some small semblance of order to my life. Yes, I'm now the proud Mum of a beautiful baby boy named Liam James. I'll try to keep updates regular from here on out but hey, anything Liam does is more interesting than writing so...you may have to be patient. : ) Oh and thanks to Jenny for reminding me of the term hobiscuit. I loved it so much I just had to use it in this chapter.