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Do you trust me?
Chapter Twenty

Buffy smiled as she finished putting on her shoes and stood up to look at herself in the mirror. For the dance she’d chosen a halter neck dress that was fitted to the waist and then flared out into a full skirt that fell to just above the knee. It was blood red; Spike’s favourite colour. She’d finished the outfit with red strappy heels and small ruby drop earrings she’d borrowed from her mother. Her hair was piled on top of her head in ringlets, with a few tendrils falling artlessly in front of each ear. Her make-up was light, except for the deep red lipstick that matched her dress.

It had taken her most of the afternoon to get ready but, she decided turning this way and that, it was worth every second. Spike’s gonna totally lose it when he sees me, she thought happily.

She took a deep breath as she thought of the coming night. This was it. Tonight she was going to give Spike her virginity, and he would give her his. Suddenly Buffy found herself wishing she was old enough to drink. She wasn’t all that sure what a stiff drink was supposed to do for her but she was sure she needed one.

Laughing at her own thoughts Buffy rifled through the contents of her purse one last time. Money, check. Dance tickets, check. Hotel room key, check. Condom, check. Biting her bottom lip Buffy paused for a moment. Then she reached into her bedside table drawer and grabbed two more condoms and popped them into her purse. Then she grabbed two more. Well, she reasoned. I don’t know how difficult it is to actually get one on. What if we stuff it up the first time and need more.

Remembering the fiasco that was the lead-up to their first real kiss Buffy looked skyward, beseeching anyone that would listen, Please don’t let us stuff it up.

Hearing a knock on the door Buffy immediately tensed. Spike was here.

Swallowing heavily she slung her purse over her shoulder and started downstairs. Here goes nothing.

**********

As soon as they walked into the gaudily decorated gym Spike pulled Buffy onto the dance floor.

“Spike what are you doing?” Buffy asked, laughing. “Don’t you want to say hello to our friends first.”

Dismissing her suggestion with a shake of his head Spike wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against him. “Later,” he told her. “Right now I have to be touching you and this is the only socially acceptable way for me to do that.”

His hands wandered over her restlessly. Trailing down her back, stroking her bare arms, tickling the sensitive skin on her neck. Meanwhile his eyes devoured her. Flitting continuously from her face down to where her body pressed against his and back again. A growl escaped his throat and Buffy shivered with excitement at the obviously tenuous hold he had over his desire.

“You look…incredible,” he finally managed.

Buffy smiled. “Thank you.”

“Did you wear this colour just for me?” he asked huskily.

Breathless at the lust that was radiating from him, Buffy could only nod.

Spike groaned softly and pulled her closer so he could bury his face in her neck, breathing deeply of her perfumed skin. Buffy could feel his arousal through their clothing and her heart skipped a beat. She found she couldn’t wait for the dance to be over so she could be alone with him.

A few songs later, when Spike had finally regained control of himself, they exited the dance floor. Buffy found Willow waiting for her at the edge of the room.

“Willow you look gorgeous!” Buffy exclaimed as she approached her friend.

“Thank you.” Willow did a little spin to show off her chocolate-coloured dress. “You look great yourself.”

“Thanks. Where’s Oz?”

Willow rolled her eyes. “Cordelia stole him away. Something about a problem with a speaker. He should be back soon.”

“Would you ladies care for a drink?” Spike asked. When both girls nodded, Spike excused himself to go to the refreshments table.

Immediately Willow turned to Buffy, practically bouncing with excitement. “So are you ready for tonight?”

“Ready? Yes. Wigging to the max? Also yes.”

“Does he know yet?”

Buffy shook her head, causing her ringlets to bounce around wildly. “No. I’m going to tell him when we’re on the dance floor. During a slow number.”

“Awww. That’s so romantic.”

“Yeah. Though with the amorous mood he’s in tonight I half expect him to drag me off the dance floor and out the door the moment I tell him. So don’t be surprised if we kind of…disappear.”

Willow giggled. “How very caveman,” she whispered just as Spike was returning with their drinks.

**********

Buffy took a deep breath to steady her nerves as she focused on Spike where he stood a few metres away chatting with Oz. Aerosmith’s I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing was playing on the sound system. The moment was perfect.

“This is it isn’t it?”

Buffy turned and saw Willow watching her with a gentle smile. Nodding, Buffy smiled back. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck.” Overcome, Willow wrapped Buffy up in a big hug before teasing, “Go get ‘im girl.”

Looking back in Spike’s direction Buffy discovered he’d vanished. Walking up to Oz she asked if he knew where Spike went.

“Bathroom,” Oz replied. “He said he’d be back in a minute.”

“Damn,” Buffy muttered to herself. “Fine time to take a leak.”

Willow appeared at Oz’s side. “What happened?”

“He’s gone to the bathroom.”

“Oh,” Willow said with relief. “He’ll be back any moment then.”

They stood for a few minutes listening to the music. As the last strains of Aerosmith died away a dance number started. No! Buffy groaned inwardly. I can’t tell him I’m going to have sex with him with this playing in the background.

“Willow I’m going to go wait for him out in the hall. The whole perfect moment thing has fizzled and besides, I can’t take the suspense any longer.”

Willow bid her good night and reminded her to relax and enjoy herself before disappearing onto the dance floor with Oz.

Pushing through the swinging doors Buffy entered the hallway. She turned in the direction of the boy’s bathroom just in time to see Dru. And Spike. Kissing.

A loud gasp escaped Buffy and Spike’s head snapped in her direction. Quickly Spike pushed Dru away and headed in Buffy’s direction but she’d already turned to run down the hallway and out of the building.

Tears streamed down Buffy’s face as she stumbled blindly across the school grounds. The image of Dru’s arms twined around Spike’s neck, his hands on her waist as they kissed, was burned into her brain. A sob escaped her and she fought for breath.

“Buffy!”

She heard the pounding of Spike’s boots just seconds before he appeared in front of her. His hands gripping her upper arms.

“Buffy love,” he gasped, out of breath from chasing after her. “That wasn’t what it looked like.”

“Oh really,” Buffy argued. “’Cause you know it looked an awful lot like you were kissing Drusilla.”

“No Buffy,” he pleaded. “I wasn’t kissing her. She was kissing me.”

“Oh that’s rich. Let’s argue semantics shall we?”

“Love please just listen to me–”

“No!” Buffy cut him off, her heart breaking more with every word. “If you still had feelings for her then you shouldn’t have broken up with her. You shouldn’t have come to me. I promised myself I would not be a consolation prize.”

“Baby you’re not,” Spike exclaimed but Buffy wasn’t listening.

“To think I was going to have sex with you tonight.” The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to call them back.

“You were?” Spike asked quietly.

“Yes Spike I was,” she confirmed, suddenly not caring that he knew. “God how could I have been so stupid.” Opening her purse she withdrew the hotel key and threw it at his chest. “Here,” she spat. “The room is bought and paid for. I hope you and Dru have a good time.”

With a determined stride she walked away.

“Buffy stop.” When she kept walking he ran after her. “Love we have to talk about this. At least let me take you home.”

“Stay the hell away from me Spike.” Ignoring his continued pleas she kept walking, keeping her eyes directly ahead, despite the tears that were blurring her vision. All she wanted right now was to go home, crawl under her covers and forget this night had even happened.





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