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Chapter 11 In Public

Wednesday, July 23rd 2005

Tenth Entry

Nine more days until I’m “released” or “let go” from this.. place. What do you even call it? I’m not sure what I’ll do. It seems like it’s been forever since I’ve been… out there. And he wont be there waiting for me, will he? I won’t have the homecoming that I’ve fantasized about with someone at the other end of the gate, waiting with their arms wide open for me to fling into?

I’ve given that up a while ago. Guess what, Giles? I’ll be 18 in a couple of months! And do you know what I’m going to do, then? I’m going to travel to New York and dance like I’ve always wanted to. Isn’t that great? He said he loved it when I danced. He’ll be watching me from wherever he is now and… I think … he’ll be happy.

But the future doesn’t seem as bright as it once was. You know what I mean?

Do you think I’ll ever be just.. happy again?

cont Saturday, April 9th, 2005

It was unbelievable! I pulled into my driveway, tiptoed in through the backdoor, and made it all the way to my room without being noticed. I think my parents were still asleep! Which was, of course, really good for me.

The events of the night before and the morning didn’t really dawn on me until I fell onto my bed and closed my eyes. For some reason, I couldn’t help the giddy smile that spread across my face and I couldn’t pop this elated balloon that was swelling in my chest and I felt like twirling into oblivion. I was that happy.

And I was going to see him again! In exactly three hours! He was actually going to come to my house and pick me up! And I had nothing to wear…

At that moment, my cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

“H-hey, Buffy!” It was Willow. I held the phone to my ear with one hand as I made my way to the closet. What to wear, what to wear?

“Hey, Will, what’s up?”

Hm… pants or skirt… pants or skirt? I looked out the window at the sun that was proving to be scalding hot in a few hours. Long pants were out of the question.

“Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the carnival with me and Xander? I-it’ll be fun! We haven’t had a day out in a really long time!” Oh… well…

“I’d really like to, but I kind of have a – “ hmm… “ – a date…”

I adjusted the phone and dug deeper in my closet. Denim skirt, black skirt, white skirt? No, definitely no black. Sunny day required happy colors…

“What?! Buffy Anne Summers,” Willow screeched a little bit, sounding indignant. “You have a date and you didn’t tell me about it?”

“Well… he just, umm, asked me this morning,” I squinted and held the phone away from the impending scream. Definitely no denim skirt.

“AHHhhh!!” She screamed. I smiled, shaking my head. Denim was way too thick.

“Yeah, I know!” I put the phone back to my ear, “I’m so excited!”

I tossed the white skirt on my bed and went scavenging for a top.

“Wait… so Mr. Date asked this morning?” I could practically see her nose scrunch up. “As in over t-the phone? He called you before nine o’clock in the morning? Rude!”

Oh, um.

“Yeah..!” Very convincing, Buffy. Bravo, I grimaced to myself.

“Oh.” silence. I picked up a pink tank top and inspected it for a few seconds. “Well… that’s very, you know, neat! Do I know him?”

Yeah, Willow… you might have had a check-up with him once. You know… Dr. Pratt?!

“Um, probably not… he’s kind of …just a little bit older” A little while ago, I would probably have spilled anything and everything about it to her and she’d giggle with me and give me advice. Well, as much Willow-advice she could give me, anyways. But everything was so new right now that,… I didn’t exactly feel like sharing.

Nah, I didn’t like the pink shirt. Throw aside. Hmm… white shirt?

“Oh! Is he a college boy? Buffy… did you get yourself college-boy at the festival yesterday?” she teased me. Oh, what would she do if I told him he was much, much older than a college boy? Gah. White on white? How crazy am I? It joined the pink shirt on the floor.

“Not exactly. But he’s really, really cute and he’s got the best accent, and he’s just so perfect,” my eyes glazed over, thinking about him and I smiled. Blue shirt… hmm.

“That sounds so romantic,” I could see Willow’s eyes glazing over, too. “Do I get to meet him!”

Oh. Shit.

“Uh-Yeah! We’ll be at the carnival! Me and my date… at the carnival… together… and .. everything,” I felt weaker and weaker as I realized what that would mean.

“Okay! That sounds like so much fun. I’ll talk to you later, Buffy!”

“Yeah. Later, Wills.”

And I hung up.

…………

The doorbell rang just as I finished applying my lip gloss. I double checked my appearance in the mirror before going down to get the door. I had finally decided on a light, flowing, white skirt that fell midway down my thigh and a deep, emerald tank top that pulled in from the back.

Halfway down the stairs, I heard my mother’s voice from the door and froze up.

“What can I do for you?”

Oh shit, I was counting on me getting there before her and … oh, I don’t know. But I took a deep breath, smoothed down my skirt, and made my way down the rest of the stairs. I could do this.

“Here to pick up Buffy, ma’am,” he said, all cordial and high-class like. I couldn’t help but smile. They both turned when they saw me and I could tell I was in trouble from the look my mom was giving me.

“Hey, Spike,” I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before turning to my mother, “Mom, this is Spike, Spike, this is my mom… he’s taking me to the carnival.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Is that right?” We both nodded. “So tell me, Spike, what are your intentions towards Buffy?”

“To, ahem,” he cleared his throat, “take the best care of her and protect her for eternity,” he grinned and my mom’s expression hardened. His smile was cleared off his face as he added “ma’am.”

The sides of her mouth twitched a little bit as if they were fighting to contain a smile, “You can call me Joyce.”

“Yes, ma’am. I mean, Joyce.”

She gave him another look. God, I wanted to just drag him away. Thank the heavens that my dad wasn’t here right now.

“Come on, mom, we’re gonna be late,” I pleaded with her, taking a hold of Spike’s hand.

“Have I seen you anywhere before, Spike?” She was unrelenting.

Evil.

“No, ma- Joyce – Can’t say you have,” he answered, politely.

She nodded. “Buffy, come in the kitchen, I need to talk to you for a second.”

As soon as her back was turned, I squeezed Spike’s hand and gave him an apologetic look. He shrugged and smiled, stuffing both hands in his jacket pocket.

When my mom and I were alone in the kitchen, she regarded me with a suspicious look.

“Do I know that boy out there?” I shook my head. She sighed. “He looks older.”

Yeah, by eleven years…”Yeah. Just by a little, though.”

“Uh-huh,” she said slowly, “how did you meet him?”

Doctor!.. “You know… friend of a friend of a … friend?” I gave her a sheepish smile and she rolled her eyes.

“Buffy, I believe we’ve talked about the dangers of – “

“Yeah, mom, I know, okay?” I said quickly, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. “He’s… a really, really great person. I know you’d love him if you got to know him! And I promise I’ll be careful, but… can I just please go?” I saw her face, carefully considering. “Please?”

“When will you be back?”

Yes!

“Early! “ She gave me a look and I amended. “Nine-ish?”

“Okay, your father and I will be at a meeting in L.A., I’m trusting you with this one, honey,” she was using her warning tone. Warning tone was never good. I nodded my head.

“Got it! Home early, lock doors, no sex! See you later!” I was practically running out of the kitchen.

“Honestly,” she called after me. “What kind of name is Spike?”

One of a kind, mom. One of a kind.

Spike was standing in the foyer, looking around and seeming a little uncomfortable. When he saw me running towards him, his face relaxed into a relieved grin. I grabbed his arm and flung open the door.

“Let’s get out of here,” I whispered.

“Right there with you, pet,” we hurried across the porch and into his black Desoto. My mom was standing by the door with a worried look on her face and I waved her ‘goodbye’ as he started the car and backed out of the driveway.

He laughed as we drove down Revello, “Well wasn’t that an experience? Felt like I was a teenager all over again, meeting the girl’s folks for the first time.”

“Yeah… didn’t really count on you meeting anybody yet.” I looked over at him, “Thought it’d just be… you know, you and me.”

“I know what you mean, love,” he nodded, turning off my street. “Have to say this morning I wasn’t exactly thinking with my head. Friends, parents, everybody just slipped my mind, to tell the truth. I was just thinking about you.”

He turned to give me a quick glance and I smiled. “Yeah,” I said, quietly. “How are we going to do this, Spike?”

“Do what, love?”

“You know… this,” I gestured the space between us. “It’s a little… you know, awkward. If my parents knew how we met… lets just say you’d be kicked halfway across the continent by now. And things get around. High school, you know? You can’t be in a relationship without people gossiping and making it out to be a bad thing.”

I saw his hands tighten on the wheel.

“So, you think this is a bad thing, then,” his tone was hard and his eyes were strained straight in front of him.

No! That wasn’t what I was thinking.

“No, that’s not what I was saying!” I protested. He set his jaw.

“Could have fooled me.”

“God, Spike, just think about it,” I muttered, leaning back in the seat. “You’re my doctor, for god’s sake! What if one of my friend’s recognized you and …”

“Well, you should have thought about that before you jumped all hot and ready into my arms,” his voice raised by a little increment and I could tell he was frustrated with me.

I decided I wouldn’t answer him. So I stared out the window at the passing houses and trees. We were down to this again. Except, I guess,… I was the one who was hit with the dowse of reality this time. I really should apologize, I guess.

He beat me to it.

“I’m sorry,” his voice was soft. He chanced another look at me before turning back to the road. “What do you want to do? Reckon we should keep this on the down low, yeah? Do the little routine where you escape from your beddy-by at night to see me when everyone’s asleep? Sneak off together and steal forbidden kisses when we think no one’s looking? Ball’s in your court, Goldilocks. I just want to be with you, no matter how we do it.”

“I don’t want you to be a dirty secret,” I reached towards him to hold onto his hand. He let go of the wheel and intertwined his fingers with mine. “And I don’t want to be a dirty secret, either.” I felt his hands go stiff, but I ignored it. “But right now… I don’t think I want to deal with people. I want you for myself.”

I shifted down the seat so I could be closer to him and he wrapped his arm around me.

“You still want to go to the carnival, then?”

Lots of people at the carnival. And everybody knew each other.

“Yeah, we could try the avoidy thing,” I suggested. But reality wouldn’t let me go down that path. “Or we could just go, you know, as friends. People don’t have to know we’re a thing, … yet.”

“Right,” he nodded, “friends it is.” And he took his arm away from me.

“Hey!” I protested, reaching for him. He shook his head and gave me a little smirk.

“Friends, remember?” he grinned and I slapped his arm, huffing. “Hey! No assaults on the driver!”

He laughed and I sulked, but deep inside, I knew I was smiling.

…………

“Ah, what kind of trash is this?” I glared at the sound system and reached out to change the dial. He slapped my hand away.

“Not trash,” he insisted, “it’s music. Good music, at that.”

“It’s trash,” I crossed my arms.

“Compared to what, luv? That teeny-bopper hippity hop you little monsters listen to?” he was teasing me, and I glowered at him. Of course, it didn’t stop him, “or do you listen to that bloody awful ‘emo’ garbage? ‘Oh, how I hate my life! I’m going to stick a sodding knife to my bloody wrist, oh, oh oh!’” he mimicked. “Oh, how you crazy kids rant these days. Don’t know how parents put up with it, really. Must drive them bloody insane.”

“Because you would know,” I glared, “since you definitely have a kid and all.” His expression hardened for half a second before relaxing into a smirk.

“Seriously now, pet. You have to admit that after the 80’s, the only form of music produced can be best called noise.”

“That’s not true and you know that.”

“What are you going to throw out there, love? Sodding Spice Girls? Backstreet Blokes – oh, let me show you the shape of my bleedin’ heart! Oh! And what about N’suffer and watch me die?” He shook his head, “face it, pet, your music’s gone and killed itself.”

“And what do you listen to, you big-headed pig?” I glared, “The Ramones, the Crash – “

“Clash,” he corrected.

“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes. “All they ever sing about is how love sucks and how they want to go kill people.”

“Are you thinking about country?” he cocked his head, “but you left out the part ‘bout the broken truck and barking dog.”

“Hate country.”

“Right there with you,” he pulled into a parking lot and we were greeted with the same ‘hippity hop’ music he was talking about earlier. “Somebody should be shot and hung on a bloody wall,” he grumbled, “letting little niblets all around listen to this garbage.”

He killed the engine and got out of the car. Before I could reach the handle on my side, I found the door being opened for me and looked up to see his face grinning down on me. I took his hand and let him help me up.

“It could be worse,” I shrugged as I heard traces of Outkast’s ‘hey ya’ in between the wild shouting of little kids running around the merry-go-round.

“Yeah,” he sighed, looking at the festivities before us, “could be much, much worse.”

…………

You can’t believe how hard it was to walk through the games, rides, food stands without touching him, holding his hand, leaning on him. I was starting to get jittery. Hell, I wanted to pull him behind a gaming booth and devour him. Something was seriously wrong with this picture. There he was in a sky blue button-down over a black shirt and jeans looking deliciously… well, deliciously, and I couldn’t even maintain any body contact with him.

He just smiled at me as we walked, oblivious to my torture.

“So, what’s your pleasure?” he asked me. Pleasure?, my eyebrows shot up and my mouth watered. He went on, “we’ve got cotton candy, merry-go-round-and-round, the bloody ferris wheel – but I’m not joining you on it, game booths, oh look! Bumper cars! Want to give it a go, love?”

I looked at him in wonder and couldn’t figure out how in the world I had ended up with such a perfect… boyfriend. Was he a boyfriend?

“Yeah…” I smiled widely. He lead me to the long line waiting for the bumper cars, placing a hand gently on the small of my back. I leaned back into his touch, grateful for the little contact.

When we finally reached the front of the line, we were both paired with a younger kid and directed to different cars. His was red and mine was blue. Before parting ways, he gave me a cocky smirk. “Your ass is mine, Summers.” Then he swaggered over to his little red vehicle with a cute little girl in a red dress following him, practically running to keep up.

The blonde boy I was paired up with looked at me with wide eyes and pulled at my hand.

“Yes, sweetie?” I couldn’t believe the cuteness bundled up in little blue overalls and a white shirt with a stain on it.

“What a ass?” he asked me, imploringly. His voice was light and inquiring and I couldn’t help but smile.

“A donkey,” I was gonna have to murder Spike later. Spreading his vulgarity to the younger beings. Damn him.

“You have a dahkey!” his eyes widened and his little lips turned up into a toothy grin.

“Of course, sweetie,” might as well appease him. We got into our car and I buckled him up then looked around for the enemy aka Spike and his sidekick. My little buddy tugged on my arm, again.

“You like to dwive?” he asked me, all innocence.

“Yeah,” I smiled at him and he smiled back.

Then his face sobered up to all seriousness, “I like to dwive too, but my mommy say I not allowed to.”

“One day when you’re older, I’m su- “

I was cut off by a whistle and before I could get myself together, a car crashed into me. I whipped my head around to glare at Spike’s laughing face.

“Told you I was fast, baby,” he smirked.

“Oh, you’re gonna get it now,” I reversed the car and sped away. Turning to my partner, I asked him if he was okay. He nodded, looking very stricken. I saw a flash of blonde hair to the side and jerked the wheel to the left, causing my bumper car to swerve into the back of Spike’s car. The girl next to him clapped her hands wildly and squealed in laughter as Spike turned around with a “Bloody hell…”

“Watch that language, Spikey,” it was my turn to smirk. But it was wiped off my face as a purple car banged into me.

“Hi, Buffy!” I heard Willow’s giggling voice and I turned around to see her and Xander laughing at me from within the offending car.

“Not a good idea, Xand,” I narrowed my eyes at him – he was at the wheel. I hit the gas and veered to the right then spun around to counter attack them, but they were nowhere to be found.

“Over dere! dere!” My buddy shouted, pointing a little finger across the ring and I turned to see Xander and Willow speeding away.

“We’re gonna go get them!” I whooped and he laughed, delighted. I sped behind them.

“Go, Go, Go!” I heard Willow shouting as she saw me tailing them. But I was intercepted again. This time by a green car.

“Gah!” I grumbled, seeing the green car with two grinning brunette guys pull away. I thought one of them looked familiar, but I shook it out of my head as I searched for a bleached blonde target.

“Look!” my little buddy aided me again, tugging my arm and pointing at Spike and the little girl zooming straight at us. I squeeled and turned the car, but the collision was inevitable and he crashed into us.

God, I hadn’t had so much fun since… I don’t know, a very long time ago. And when the cars suddenly died down as a whistle blew again, I felt it wasn’t long enough.

“Did you have fun?”

“Yeah! Again… again!” my over-all cladded friend clapped his hands and I laughed as I lifted him out of the car. His mother ran over to collect him and gave me a little smile before turning away and leading him off. I saw him look around her and wave at me and with a small smile, I waved back.

“So, that’s my competition, love?” a voice purred in my ear as I felt two arms wrap around my waist.

“Yep,” I smiled up at Spike, “tough, huh?”

“Well, a bloke’s got to try,” he shrugged, burying his face in my hair and swayed me back and forth. “Think you’ll give me a chance though? Put a light at the end of this path?”

“Play your cards right…”

He growled in my ear and I leaned up to kiss him, but we were interrupted by two very excited voices.

“Buffy!”

“Buffster! Over here!”

Willow and Xander were calling to me. We jumped apart as they made their way over and I shot him an apologetic smile which he simply shrugged off.

“Hey Will, Xander,” I greeted them. Willow was wringing her hands excitedly and I caught Xander give Spike a suspicious look.

“Did you see me out there, Buffy? With the zoom and the zam,” she held out her hands as if gripping a steering wheel and rolled her arms around.

“Huh… I thought I saw Xander driving,” I couldn’t help but smile at her antics. She grinned at me and shook her head.

“Yeah, he was the one driving, but I was the one that vroooomed and saw you and grabbed the wheel and then made him hit you!”

“Oh. Really?”

“Darn tootin!” she exclaimed. “And then you made with the ‘grrrr’ at Xander and … “

Xander coughed to get my attention and nodded his head very subtly towards Spike. Or actually, it wasn’t very subtly, it was more of a violent jerk, but I got the message. And Spike was too absorbed in trying to make out what Willow was saying to notice him.

So I did the whole introduction thing that I’ve been dreading to do. “Guys, this is Spike, Spike, this is Willow and Xander.”

“Nice to meet you,” Willow held out a hand and gave me a little look. I could feel myself start to blush as I felt Spike’s eyes fall on me as he smirked and shook Willow’s hand.

“Pleasure’s all mine, Red,” he drawled out. Willow let out a squeek and bent over to hiss at me.

“You didn’t tell me he had that accen-”

I cut her off. “What are you talking about! Yes, I did! I said he had the best - ”

Xander cleared his throat, interrupting our mini argument.

“So tell me, Spike,” he emphasized the name with a little bit of… disdain? disgust? “What exactly are you doing here with our Buffy?”

“Xander!” I gave him a look which he ignored. “He’s here with me because he’s… my friend!” Xander gave me a look of disbelief and Spike’s expression darkened marginally.

“Your friend, huh?” Xander crossed his arms, “so how come I don’t know him?”

“What? Since when did you become my mom?” I couldn’t help but glare at him and he glared right back. “You don’t keep track of me, Xander! I don’t have to run everybody I meet by you! That’s not your job and you don’t have the right.”

“Sorry, Buff,” he didn’t look sorry. “Just looking out for you. Didn’t want the bleached wonder here to take advant - “

“Watch it, mate,” Spike sounded threatening and Xander stepped up to the challenge.

“Or what? You’ll pulverize me? I don’t take orders from you.”

Willow looked at me with widened eyes and I gave her a little helpless look. It didn’t seem like this was going anywhere…

“Wasn’t an order. Was a threat and you better realize it.”

“So you have an army that comes along with the peroxide?” Xander kept at it. “I know what the likes of you do with girls like Buff - “

“That’s the last thing I’m interested in, you whelp,” Spike’s tone was low and dangerous and I decided at that moment that Xander plus Spike put together was definitely not of the good. “Buffy means a hell of a good deal more to me than just a – “

Okay, I had to end this. Willow was looking a little frightened and we exchanged a worried glance.

“Okay, well if the pissing contest is over now… me and Spike have to go… do that thing,” I said quickly, “And Willow, you had to, you know.”

“Yeah!” she nodded, latching herself on Xander’s arm. “Come on, mister! I just remembered that there was the – thing that I needed help doing so lets go and do… it.”

…………

“Are all of your friends as mad as that git back there?” Spike grumbled as soon as I pulled him away from Xander’s line of sight. We were now under a large tent, walking down a line of arcade games.

“He’s not a – a git,” I sighed. “And he’s not mad. He’s just a little… overzealous and overprotective.”

“Just a little?” he asked, unbelievingly, “If that was just a little than the bloody earth is just a little round. Trust me, love, he’s a lot more than a little.”

“Sorry about that,” I apologized.

“No need – “

He was cut off.

“Spike, my boy! Wow, I didn’t think I’d see you here after you ran off on me yesterday!“

We both turned to see who was calling him and I recognized Angel walking towards us, briskly, followed by another man and a woman. I looked up at Spike’s face and saw that he had his eyes rolled up in his head in annoyance.

“Perfect timing, Peaches,” he muttered so only I could hear. Peaches?

“Ah! And you brought somebody with – “ he started when he saw my face and stopped talking all together. When he finally spoke again, his entire demeanor was less… jovial and more somber, “hello, Buffy.”

“You two know each other?” Spike furrowed his brow. Angel shook his head and waved it off.

“Just bumped into each other before,” he smiled at me, “how you holding up?”

“A lot better since our last meeting.” I didn’t know what to make of this.

“That’s good to hear,” he turned his gaze to Spike. “So I tried checking up on you this morning and you weren’t at your apartment. Got me all worried for a little bit, man.”

“Thanks ever so,” Spike’s shot me a quick glance before addressing Angel. “Nice to know you spent so much quality brooding time worrying about me, mate. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.”

“Huh, you sound happy to see me,” Angel said sarcastically.

“I am. Really, Peaches,” he patted Angel’s arm, “It’s always a pleasure to catch up with the likes of you. You always promise me a grand old time.”

“So why do you look like you’d rather get your eyeballs poked out?”

Spike snorted. “I said you promised. Never said anything about delivering, now did I?”

Angel made a face at me that was so funny that I couldn’t help but laugh. Spike looked between the two of us suspiciously.

“How do you know this big poofter here again?” he asked me with a raised brow. I faltered a little and looked up at Angel.

“Well, uh, you know,” I shrugged, “he saved me from a horrible, very terrible – “

“Big guy who was coming on to her too fast,” Angel finished for me with a small smile. “And when she told me her name was Buffy, I realized that this was the special girl that you were going on and on about when you were on that whole drunk-out-of-your-mind deal all last week … or, how do you say it, uh, ‘pissed off your rocker’.”

“I see,” Spike said, slowly. Then quickly snapped at Angel, “I did not get pissed off any rocker, you bloody ponce.” The whole direction of the conversation was a little confusing for me, so I just bit my lip and looked at the other man and woman who had joined us. I recognized the other man as being someone else in that photo I saw at Spike’s examination room the other day and I recognized the woman - what??

“Mrs. Calendar?” I gasped in disbelief. She smiled at me and gave me a little wave.

“Hi, Buffy,” she chirped, “great day, isn’t it? Don’t you love carnivals?”

Huh.

“Yeah, really, really.. fun,” my eyes were wide and I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t know teachers actually wore jeans! Tight jeans, at that. Wow. I guess I never stopped to wonder if teachers actually had a life outside of school. I just immediately assumed they always looked… teachery. I said the first thing that came to my mind. “You don’t look as old as you normally do. Uh- I mean, not that you look old or anything. Okay… foot in mouth?”

But Ms. Calendar just laughed and waved it away. “I know what you mean, don’t worry. So… friend of William’s?”

I nodded, shooting a nervous glance at Spike who was still talking animatedly with Angel. “We’re.. friends.” Of sorts…

“Hi, I’m Riley, thanks for introducing me,” the man with sandy brown hair finally spoke up, obviously tired of being the odd one out.

Ms. Calendar laughed.

“Buffy, meet my boyfriend Riley… Riley, meet Buffy.” And we did the introduction ritual. Again. Then Ms. Calendar changed the subject.

…………

And so the afternoon went with us meeting various people we both knew, us jumping apart whenever somebody came along, us shooting sidelong glances at each other, both wanting to be somewhere that was of the else. We introduced each other as friends, acquaintances, even family at one point, just anything besides what we really were. Ironically… even I wasn’t really sure what we were exactly.

We were so absorbed in each other, though, that we failed to give people, in general, the benefit of the doubt. We failed to realize that despite what we told them, they saw us for what we appeared to be at face value. They saw the secret glances, the subtle smiles, and they understood. But none of them said a word.

Have you ever read The Great Gatsby? Great book by Fitzgerald. Well, all I can say is that I felt like we were Daisy and Gatsby. And the entire world was a Nick or another passerby.

But, I guess that analogy doesn’t really work, since I’m not a frigid, shallow bitch like Daisy and Spike is nowhere as superficial as Gatsby. So maybe we were more like… Shakespeare and Viola in “Shakespeare in Love”. Or maybe … I have to stop. Because I can’t compare us to any of the characters I read in books or see on the TV.

Because we were real and we were very much living in our own world. How is anything comparable to that?





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