Chapter 11
A few days later, Spike couldn’t take it anymore, and found himself banging on Riley’s door. Buffy has been avoiding him since what happened with Lindsey and he was certain that he’d go crazy if he didn’t see her soon.
Riley opened the door, not looking surprised to see Spike standing there.
“Is she here?” he asked, not bothering for an invite before barging into the apartment.
Riley sighed and closed the door. “She’s in her room. I don’t think this is a good time, Spike. She still doesn’t want to see you. I tried to talk her out of it, but that one is very stubborn.”
“Don’t I know it. I’ll get her to talk to me,” Spike retorted determinately, storming to Buffy’s room. He saw that her door was closed, and rather than blow inside, he knocked politely, not wanting to startle her. When there was no response, he turned the knob and found the door was unlocked.
Buffy was lying on her bed. He saw that she wasn’t sleeping when he moved closer; she wouldn’t look up at him. He inhaled sharply and made his way over to the other side of the bed. He removed his duster and his boots, then laid down beside her. When she still wouldn’t acknowledge him, Spike decided to take a risk by wrapping his arms around her small body. “I know you’re scared, Buffy. I know you’re scared to get close to me. I know you pretty well, remember? You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I would never hurt you. You have to believe that, sweetheart. Just the thought of anything happening to you makes my heart ache. I’m not going anywhere, love. I’ll be here for as long as you need, forever if you’ll let me.”
Buffy finally turned over to face him.
Spike felt his heart clench at the tears that were glistening in her eyes. He didn’t know what else to do and just waited for her to make the first move.
After a few seconds, she couldn’t hold in her sobs anymore and wrapped her arms around him, crying against his chest.
Spike rubbed her back in comfort, whispering soothing words in her ear. “It’s going to be okay, baby. Just let it all out. I’ve got you now and I’ll never let you go.”
* * * * *
Riley came out of the kitchen and handed Buffy a cup of hot chocolate, which she took with a small smile.
They’d finally emerged from the bedroom after Buffy calmed down and were now sitting on the couch.
“Can I get you anything?” Riley asked Spike.
“No, I’m good.”
Riley nodded and walked back into the kitchen, leaving them to their privacy.
Buffy took one sip of the hot liquid and then placed it down on the coffee table.
Spike was really worried since she has yet to say anything to him. He just took her hand in his, giving it a comforting squeeze. “Are you going to be okay?”
She took a deep breath and looked at him, finally voicing what has been bothering her. “I just feel so stupid. I wasted three years of my life with a man that never really loved me. I was just so afraid of being alone that I stayed with someone that treated me horribly. What kind of person does that make me? He’s the only one I’ve ever really been with. I just don’t know what to do anymore.” Her face collapsed into her waiting hands. She was exhausted.
“You’re already doing it, Buffy. You got away from him. You’re putting your life back on track. And now, you’ll have the life that you’ve always deserved. We can do it together.”
Buffy shook her head and gazed up at him. “I don’t know. Why would you want to be with someone that’s so damaged?”
Spike tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Because I don’t see someone that’s damaged. I see a strong, beautiful woman. One that I’m growing to care a lot about. I know you’re still worried about letting someone else in, but I promise you. If you decide to trust me with your heart, I would never let anything happen to it. You have my word on that.”
She looked into his eyes and saw sincerity shining through. Somehow, she knew that he wasn’t one to break his promises. No more words were needed; she pressed her lips to his. Staying away from him these last few days has been the hardest thing that she has ever done. She was finally going to trust Spike with her heart, hoping that he would never break it.
* * * * *
A few weeks passed without seeing Lindsey, and she couldn’t be happier about that. She was worried that he would still try and get her back, but it seemed to be that he had forgotten about her. Strangely, Buffy found that she was both relieved and a bit hurt by that, but she quickly shook all negative thoughts away. She was with Spike now, and so far, he had proven that he will always be there for her.
Tonight, they were out at the Bronze, blowing off some steam.
Buffy had finally introduced Spike to her friends a week ago and they had instantly taken a liking to him. Xander even pulled her aside to say that he thought Spike was a good choice for her. She was stunned by that. It was hard for anyone to get Xander’s approval. He was always the overprotective, big brother type—had been ever since they’d been little. He would threaten any guy that ever came near Buffy or Willow. It meant a lot knowing that her friends liked her new boyfriend, especially knowing how much they hadn’t cared for Lindsey.
Buffy left her friends to make her way over to the bar. She wasn’t much of a drinker, but she figured one couldn’t hurt.
“Well, look who decided to get a life.”
Buffy stopped cold at the familiar voice behind her. “God, no,” she mumbled under her breath, turning around to face the last person she ever expected to see again. She plastered on a fake smile. “Faith, how have you been?”
“Five by five, B. You’re looking good. I hear you and Lindsey went your separate ways. That’s such a shame.”
Buffy could tell that the other girl was lying through her teeth, if the big smile on her face was anything to go by. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re real broken up about it. I’m here with my friends, Faith. I really don’t need a lecture from you…or an I told you so, for that matter. We’re not friends anymore.”
“And whose fault is that? Look, I’m not here to tell you that I was right. I just wanted to see how you were doing. You’re the one that ended our friendship because of Lindsey. You never listened to me about what a jerk he was and then when it was time for you to make a choice, you chose him. I’m over it now. I just wanted to congratulate you for finally coming to your senses about the prick. You know, even if we’re not friends anymore.”
No sooner had she completed her little speech did Faith spin on her heel and storm off.
Buffy felt bad as she watched Faith go. They’d been really close in college. Then Lindsey had come along and Buffy stopped hanging around Faith so much. No matter how many times Faith tried to talk her out of being with him, she would never listen. They eventually just lost touch with each other. Buffy realized that everything Faith said about Lindsey was right and she felt guilty for choosing him over one of her best friends. Somehow, she would find a way to make it up to her old friend.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Well, it seems that you guys might not be as interested in this one anymore. I'm sorry for taking so long with the chapters, but I'm about to get into the really good stuff. I hope you guys would stick with it and let me know what you think. I'm still nervous about this story not being all that good, but I'm not one to give up on a story. Thanks to the ones that are still reading. I really appreciate it=)