THE WORLD IS MINE
A/N; I wanted to point out that the time line in this story is kind of like a Quentin Tarrantino flick. While Spike and Buffy’s scenes may seem to take place on one day; other characters’ scene might be days later. Like flashbacks, kind of. I hope this makes sense?
Summary: Buffy explains some things to Spike, no matter how painful it may be.
We find out if Xander truly knew about the harsh consequenses of his rash actions years before.
Chapter 8: ‘All Manner of Pain’
“Don’t you get it?” Buffy asked incredulously; she did try to keep the unintended contempt from her tone.
“It ‘was’ Xander Harris. He’s the guy who raped me.”
Spike Giles was a man who was never known for his even temperament or patience; that was for certain.
However, he was a man known for logic and plotting things out. Now? He was none of these things; he was infuriated.
“I’m going to rip the mother fucker’s throat out and tear him to shreds!” Spike roared; enraged.
He leapt from Buffy’s bed and began to pull on his clothes haphazardly.
“Spike! No!” Buffy cried desperately as she left her bed and joined him by his side.
“No!” She begged, desperately clutching Spike and pulling at his clothes.
“Please, Spike, no!” Buffy wailed, finally capturing Spike’s attention. He stopped pulling on clothes and glared down into Buffy’s horrified green eyes.
“NO! The bloody hell NO!” Spike roared in response, his wide blue eyes were filled with rage. “You think I’m going to let that demented bent fuck get away with hurting ‘my’ girl like that!”
He was ranting at the top of his lungs until he noticed a sudden change in Buffy’s demeanor. Spike couldn’t believe it but it looked like Buffy was actually smiling again. Now he truly was fucking confused and this knocked a lot of the rant out of him.
“Who says that I’m your girl?” Buffy asked very quietly, her green eyes were shiny from tears and something else too. There was a soft, gentle smile on her mouth and something very feminine in her gaze. Was that tenderness shining in Buffy's incredible green eyes?
“Well,” Spike sighed deeply and plopped down on the bed beside her, taking Buffy into his arms. “You are ‘my’ girl,” he murmured tenderly, gently nuzzling her neck with his mouth. “You may not be aware of it just yet, but you are and I just…..”
“If you go after Xander Harris in the way you’re suggesting,” Buffy whispered, her lips touching his cheek. “Then the only thing you’ll accomplish is getting yourself kicked out of Sunnydale and probably prosecuted. It’s why I didn’t tell anyone back then,” she added sadly. “It would have caused too many people too much pain.”
“You told no one else about this?” Spike asked incredulously. He couldn’t believe it and yet…
‘No’ Buffy shook her head slowly and lowered her gaze. “There was no way of proving it,” Buffy continued evenly, her eyes still focused on the sheet that covered her lower body.
“Xander was already making a name for himself and I was just Buffy Summers, college coed. No witnesses,” she continued quietly, “no one but me to point the finger at him. Then there was Dawn and my mom to think of,” she stammered almost apologetically.
“Harris would have gone after them in some way?” Spike asked in a rough tone.
“Yes,” Buffy replied quickly with a nod of her head. “I know he would have. Remember, he’d already hurt Willow because of me and…..”
“I know,” Spike sighed in a raspy voice and held her tight once again. “So you do all this; you’re so driven to take Harris down and not just because it’s your civic duty, right?”
Spike lifted Buffy’s chin and tenderly kissed the tip of her funny shaped little nose. He really liked that nose of hers, Spike did and this made him smile, finally, once again.
“It is the reason; the main one,” Buffy admitted in a hushed tone. “The baby,” she began, but didn’t continue. She just couldn’t.
“I understand about the baby, Princess,” Spike cooed as he stroked her arm tenderly and tried to gently calm her shaking. “No little babe should have to come into the world like that and you certainly can’t be blamed in any way.”
“Thank you Will,” Buffy whispered against his chest where her face was now buried into. “Thank you for understanding and well, for everything,” she finished with a sigh of relief.
“You’re not in this alone anymore, baby,” Spike murmured sincerely into her soft, golden hair. “Spike’s here now and I’m in it, all the way with you.”
“Oh by-the-way,” Buffy murmured against Spike’s taut chest muscles. “I have not forgotten that ‘my girl’ remark earlier,” she finished with a quick grin.
“Good,” he mumbled back tenderly. “Because you 'are' my girl now, sweetheart.”
Xander Harris sat in his brother, Frank’s bar and grill; appropriately named Frank’s Bar and Grill. It was now 11:30 AM on a bright sunny, Sunnydale morning and Xander had been tipping the whisky bottle since 10:00.
“You really need to at least wait until noon, don’t you think brother?” Frank snorted as he joined his older idol at the next bar stool
“It’s fucking noon somewhere, right?” Xander grumbled, downing the glass in front of him.
The two brothers sat in silence for a moment or two before Frank finally got up his nerve.
“Why ‘are’ you and Anya here?” The younger Harris boy asked quietly, sipping his own drink; a diet coke.
“To get married in good old Sunnydale,” Xander grunted as he poured himself another drink. “Hometown and all, remember little bro?”
“Yeah,” Frank whispered, his dark eyes were focused on his brother’s shot glass.
“You sure this isn’t more about Buffy Summers and less about….” Frank began, but he ended his sentence abruptly when he saw the murderous look in his older brother’s chocolate brown eyes.
“Forget it,” Franklin Harris spat as he reached for Xander’s whisky bottle. He poured himself a nice long shot into the empty coke glass.
After another few moments of tense silence, Frank finally spoke:
“Why do you hate Buffy so, Xand?” He asked wistfully. “Is it because she can’t or won’t love you back?” Frank’s hand shook, just a bit as he raised his glass to his lips and shot his brother a questioning glance.
“Might be part of it,” Xander Harris replied evenly. “Then, it might something more,” he added quickly.
(Flashbacks will be in script)
{Sunnydale, circa 1997 or so…..}
“Buffy, we have to talk,” Xander Harris had tracked down his obsession and cornered her outside the Bronze, in a dank, dark alley.
“You and I have nothing to talk about Xander,” Buffy hissed angrily as she tried to step past the lumbering tree of a man in front of her.
Xander grabbed Buffy’s tiny arm harshly and pulled her up to him. “We are going to talk,” he stated in a rough voice.
“I don’t want to talk; to you least of all!” Buffy spit at him, literally, and pulled away. She reached into her purse and pulled out something that resembled a swiss- army knife.
“Oh, so you’re going to what? Stab me now bitch?” Xander cursed angrily, again reaching for Buffy.
Buffy took a swing at Xander with the open knife and hissed. “Stay the fuck away from me Harris. Stay away or I’ll make sure you don’t rape someone else. You’re a fucking monster Xander; an evil, psychotic monster and I should have let you drown years ago. It would have saved the world a lot of grief!”
Xander, for his part, actually looked ‘pained’ by Buffy’s hateful words. He shook his dark head; apparently shaking off the pain and again grabbed for Buffy.
“I, I’m sorry,” Xander whispered harshly, though it was obvious that the big man wasn’t the least bit sorry at all.
Even if his dark eyes seemed filled with silent tears? Buffy would and could not be swayed.
“You’re not sorry you prick!” Buffy hissed; her mouth set in a firm, ugly frown.
“You purposely got me alone and raped me,” she stated unnecessarily. “You…..” she took another strong swipe at Xander’s lower section.
Xander reared back, stunned somewhat by Buffy’s determination. Actually, the whole thing would have been comical if Buffy didn’t look so damned pissed and serious about it.
“Love you,” Xander finished for her. “I love you Buffy,” he continued before she could say anything else. “I always have and always will,” he added sadly. “It’s my curse you know? That I love you and want you and know I'll never to have you?
“We’re soulmates, Buffy; you and me, we belong together and…..” Xander began to whimper pathetically.
Buffy gasped in shock when she realized that this demented psychotic really believed his own bullshit philosophy. Up until the rape incident, Buffy had figured that Xander was just deluded, somewhat. Now, however, it appeared that he was completely disillusioned and it terrified her.
“There was a baby,” Buffy blurted out without really meaning to. “You made a baby with me,” she mumbled, suddenly quite clear headed; something she hadn’t been a while.
“A baby?” Xander whispered in disbelief, his dark eyes lit up briefly.
“I had it terminated,” Buffy stated gruffly, her tone reflected the future all business cop she would become.
“What!” Xander cried; his tone harsh and once again raspy with pain and disbelief.
“I had the baby terminated,” Buffy spat defiantly. “I wouldn’t bring one of your children into this world Xander Harris. Even if you were the last man alive and I was the last woman and it meant the procreation of human life! I detest you that much you fucking low life vermin. It was a baby,” she hissed self-righteously, “a baby and I had it taken out of me for its sake more then any of ours!”
{End of flashback}
Xander closed his eyes against the oh so painful memory he had just relived and took another long slug of his drink. He noted that Frank, his brother, had not said anything for a while and he looked up to find the younger man gone from his side.
Buffy, she had said such awful things to him that day, ten years or so before and it had deadened Xander completely inside. She had gone on to say that if he, Xander, ever came near her again; she’d cut his balls off so he couldn’t hurt her or anyone other poor girl like that, ever.
“Yeah,” Xander sighed sadly, a lone tear trickled down his handsome cheek. “There’s some more to it, bro,” he continued wearily.
“I maybe could forgive Buffy for not loving me back, but I’ll never forgive her for killing our child together,” he finished gruffly.
For all of his bravado and posturing, Xander had a bad feeling about this William ‘Spike’ Giles character. Yes, he knew all about Buffy’s past relationships; especially the one with her one time partner Riley Finn. However, this guy, this Brit Giles; now he just might be the real thing and it rankled on Xander, immensely.
Xander looked at his empty glass, then at the bar length mirror on the wall behind the counter. Without a thought, the dark-haired man reared back and flung the glass against the mirror, shattering it into pieces.
Harris stood up and threw some hundred dollar bills on the bar and strode out of the building, never looking back. This is why he missed the shadowy figure in the backroom doorway and never saw the pained, tear-stained look on his fiancé, Anya’s, pretty face.
Buffy and Spike sat at the little café, Louis’ Bistro, quietly talking and munching some appetizers. Spike had insisted that they go out the next night and have a real date together.
There was a full pitcher of ice cold beer from the tap between them, sitting on the small, secluded table. Spike had ordered soft-shelled crabs for the both of them, with yet to arrive salads and french fries on the side.
They sat, Spike and Buffy, in the little booth seat next to each other and chatted amicably. This in itself shocked Buffy to no end actually, that she could just sit and enjoy this man’s company like this.
Spike poured some cold, yummy beer for them both and they toasted each other with a clink of their mugs together.
“Here’s to you, Princess,” Spike murmured in contentment as he winked at ‘his’ girl and sipped his delicious beer.
“Here’s to you,” Buffy giggled, sipping her own cold concoction eagerly.
“How ‘bout, here’s to us?” Spike finished for the both of them, tucking that adorable stray blond tress of Buffy’s behind her ear.
The waiter came with their suppers and discreetly scurried away from the obviously enamored couples’ table.
Buffy delicately munched her first taste or two of crab, then placed her fork on her plate and eyed Spike, carefully.
“You know, William,” she began, “I need to tell you something,” she stammered nervously.
Spike set his own fork down and took Buffy’s empty hand in his, placing a gentle, chaste kiss on her palm.
“What’s that sweetheart?” He asked tenderly.
Without breaking away from his intense gaze, Buffy murmured softly:
“I think I’m going to like being ‘your’ girl.”
A/N: That’s all for this story for a while. I’m off to camping (oh yay! LOL!)
Anyway, thanks for reading and please review, spufette.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This story is meant to follow no particular time line of events for each set of characters. I hope this is clear to you readers and not confusing.