As Buffy turned to face the very serious face of her Watcher, waiting expectantly for some sort of an explanation for her behavior, her own expression was suitably penitent, her head tucked slightly as she worried her bottom lip with her teeth, eyes wide and anxious.
A direct contrast to the powerful wave of rage that her vampire felt roll over him from her direction at the exact same moment.
“Um – Giles – you’re right. There’s – some stuff I need to tell you about,” Buffy admitted in a small, hesitant voice.
*Do you have any idea how totally dead you are?* she mentally snapped at Spike at the same time.
He flinched slightly at the fury in her thoughts, but the gesture went unnoticed by her friends, written off as a wince at the pain from his freshly split lip and bruising jaw. Besides, they were not really paying that much attention to him at the moment, their wide, shocked eyes focused on their friend the Slayer, wondering if she had truly lost her mind.
He swallowed hard, trying not to show his fear. This was his chance; there was no going back now. He had made his move, and if he played this situation right, he could end up actually getting some help in dealing with Buffy’s new and dangerous side – which seemed to be gaining more and more control over her at the moment.
Despite his apprehension at the building temper inside his claimant, he did not want her to regain complete control of it, as she was trying so hard to do – didn’t want her to manage to get enough composure back to come up with a convincing lie that her friends and Watcher would certainly believe, they wanted to so badly.
Keeping his mental voice carefully calm, he replied with subtle mockery, *Been that way for some time now, love…*
*Shut up!* the snarled words held enough menace to make him jump, though she kept her eyes focused on her Watcher, did not give any visible sign of the conversation taking place in their heads. The full force of her power was in her tone as she ordered, *Sit down and *shut up*!*
He moved almost automatically, forced to obey, and took his seat back at the table, mind racing desperately for a way to keep the situation working in his favor, leaving off his quiet taunts and efforts to get to her, as she had ordered.
As he did, Buffy moved slowly back to her own seat, which was unsettlingly close to his own, resting her elbows on the table and her head in her hands for a moment, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Her whole demeanor, the feelings mingled with the anger Spike felt from her, spoke of fear, shame, and defeat.
He almost felt bad – almost.
“*Buffy*.” The tone of the Watcher’s voice conveyed his rising annoyance at having to repeatedly call his Slayer’s attention back to the matter at hand.
Buffy reluctantly looked up at him again, obviously trying to gather her courage to speak. Finally, she admitted slowly – and rather vaguely – “Something went wrong with the ritual.”
After a brief pause in which she did not seem inclined to reveal any more information, Giles replied, “Obviously.” He paused. “The question is, precisely *what* went wrong, Buffy?”
With a little grimace, Buffy opened her mouth to speak – then stopped suddenly, with a desperate little whimper of frustration. “I can’t do this! It’s too humiliating – I just can’t!”
“*I* can,” Anya promptly declared, earning looks of surprise from the still-clueless remaining Scoobies, horror from the Slayer – and tremendous relief and gratitude from the blonde vampire sitting across the table from her.
“You – you have some knowledge of what’s happened, Anya?” Giles asked cautiously, a frown of confusion on his face. “How is it that *you* would know, when…”
“Anya!” Buffy interrupted, her eyes wide with panic. “No!”
“What? Are *you* gonna tell him?” Anya demanded skeptically, crossing her arms over her chest and meeting the Slayer’s eyes with a challenge in her own. “And it has to come out, Buffy. They have to know the truth if they’re ever gonna help you get control of this…”
“*No*!” Buffy roared, suddenly rising to her feet in a menacing stance, eyes blazing with dark rage at the ex-demon, who surprisingly did not seem afraid – or even surprised.
In that moment, Buffy felt such an intense desire to protect her secret – her *claim* -- that the only thing that mattered to her was shutting the girl up before she could reveal it. In her mind, before she moved, she envisioned going around the table and physically stopping Anya from speaking – a sharp blow to the temple would do it – or even just a quick twist of her neck, and…
The utter horror of that last thought was what it took to bring Buffy back to reality, back to herself, suddenly seeing Anya not as a threat to what was hers, but as the trusted friend she had recently found her to be – and she had been about to…
Eyes wide with shock and dismay, shaking her head in denial of the violent intent she had held toward her friend, Buffy slowly, deliberately, sat back down, her eyes focused on Anya – who, strangely, was very calm, a compassionate, understanding – but unyielding – expression on her face.
“Tell them,” Buffy whispered in defeat. “You’re right. Tell them. I – I need help.”
“Buffy?” Willow’s voice was alarmed at those troubling words, though none of her friends had seen anything to reveal the disturbing thoughts that had stopped Buffy in her tracks.
“*Anya*,” Giles quickly redirected the group’s attention, turning his gaze to the girl who apparently held at least some of the answers to their current situation. “What do you know about the ritual – about what has happened here?”
“There was more to the ritual than you knew,” Anya began quietly. “It – it wasn’t just a physical fight involved. It was – more than that.”
A pitiful, anguished moan from Buffy drew little sympathy, everyone focused on Anya’s words, as the despairing Slayer buried her face in her arms in premature humiliation.
“It *did* involve a physical battle,” Anya went on cautiously, watching the faces of her listeners for their reactions as she spoke. “At the end of which the winner had to force the other to verbally accept their authority, in order to win. And then, as a sign of the fact that they won, and to seal the deal so to speak – they had to perform a ritual of dominance.”
“Anya,” Giles broke in, a bit impatiently. “We know all that…are you saying that is not what Buffy and Spike did?”
*Not even half of it, Watcher,* Spike thought ruefully.
“Let me finish,” Anya demanded, taking a deep breath and surveying the group again before going on. “The – um – variations – in how you thought it was supposed to go and how it was *actually* supposed to go – are in what that ritual of dominance was supposed to be.” She paused, steeling herself for the explosion before blurting out,
“After Buffy beat Spike in the fight she had to make him have sex with her. That’s the ritual of dominance.”
“What?” Xander squeaked in shock. “But…how…I mean…what…?”
Willow’s eyes were wide and solemn, but she did not say a word, just stared in shock between her best friend, head still buried on the table, and the vampire who was warily taking in the expressions of the others through lowered eyes.
Giles stared at Anya for a moment incredulously, before looking to Buffy, and finding the confirmation that Anya’s words were true in the Slayer’s mortification. He suddenly became very pale, removing his glasses from his face and wiping them furiously, as he said softly, “Good Lord.”
“You really should have studied up on the ritual before you suggested it,” Anya pointed out to him matter-of-factly. “You would have known that. I knew, and I told Buffy, and she wanted to go ahead and go through with it.”
“Anya,” Buffy’s voice was muffled as she did not raise her head to speak. “That’s enough information…” Her voice sounded weary, resigned to her humiliation, but not ready to face it just yet.
“No, I should say not!” Giles objected, the beginnings of anger in his voice. “That is not anywhere near enough information! How could you do a thing like that, without informing or consulting me, or considering the possible consequences? Buffy…”
“Don’t kill her yet,” Anya interrupted dryly. “There’s more.”
“There’s *more*?” Xander repeated, eyes wide with horrified shock. “How can there be *more*? Buffy slept with Spike?” He paused, suddenly glaring at his girlfriend, “And you knew about it?” His accusing tone took her by surprise, and she stopped suddenly, just as she had been about to go on.
“Xander, do be quiet!” the Watcher snapped tersely. “Anya said there is more, and I believe it’s quite important that we know what it is. You two can discuss the personal aspects later if you so choose.” He looked to the now very troubled girl again. “Anya – what were you going to say?” he prodded her.
Distracted, Anya shook her head as she tried to refocus on the conversation, her mind worrying over Xander’s anger. “Well – they didn’t exactly carry out the ritual right. Buffy thought she’d already won and initiated sex with Spike before he’d submitted to her. So – the ritual didn’t really ever get finished.”
Giles frowned. “But – Spike is behaving quite submissively to Buffy. Why, he hasn’t spoken a word since this meeting began. Quite unlike him. So – what happened?”
Anya took another deep breath, hesitant to go on. “Buffy accidentally made a blood bond with Spike.”
“*What*?” This time it was the Watcher who exploded with furious disbelief and horror. “How is that possible? How could she…?”
“In the middle of what she thought was the act of dominance…”
“In the middle of their having sex,” Xander practically spat out the words with disgust and resentment.
Anya made herself ignore him and went on, though she was more and more worried by his jealous reaction to the news. “Spike bit Buffy. That’s how she knew it wasn’t over. And in order to make him submit – well – she – bit him back.”
Another moment of utter shocked silence met those words as the humans tried to take it in, finding it very difficult to understand what would have possessed Buffy to do a thing like that.
“Buffy – why…” Willow began, hesitantly, unsure how to frame the question.
Buffy finally raised her head, but did not look at any of them, and they saw that her face was streaked with tears. “I don’t know,” she whispered with a miserable little shrug. “It just – felt like the right thing to do. At the time. I can’t really explain it, except – I thought that was what I was *supposed* to do – somehow…”
She gave up, and the silence fell again for a few moments.
“It gets worse,” Anya said, cringing before the others reacted, in anticipation of their negative response.
“How could it?” Xander demanded bitterly.
“Um – well – as I’m sure you know,” she nodded nervously toward Giles, who nodded warily. “a blood bond is permanent. Can’t be broken. And – the way it was done – it’s a – a claim. Blood was exchanged, and Buffy claimed Spike as hers. And – because it was done – during sex…”
“Dear Lord,” Giles interrupted with a moan, his knowledge of vampire lore telling him what the girl was about to say, his hand covering his face as he let out a weary sigh. It was simply too much.
“What? *What*?” Xander urged him, almost frantically, worry in his eyes.
“It’s a mating claim,” Willow surprised them all by filling in quietly, her eyes widening in a sort of horrified wonder. At their surprised looks, she shrugged and added defensively, “What? I study!”
“A what kind of claim?” Xander pressed, a stricken look on his face.
“A mating claim,” Giles supplied in a quiet voice of resignation. “Spike is Buffy’s mate. Until one of them should – should cease to exist, they are bound to each other as one.”
Another silent moment allowed them all to take that in.
“Well, that’s easy then,” Xander finally broke the silence, dark eyes fastening on Spike with undisguised malice. “There’s only one solution. Stake Fangless, and Buffy’s free.”
“No!” Buffy was on her feet in an instant, a furious look of menace on her face, the sound in her throat as she glared down at Xander almost a growl of warning. “Nobody touches him!”
“Okay,” Willow said hurriedly, nervously, standing and holding out a hand in the direction of each of her two best friends. “Okay…staking Spike not an option. There will be no staking Spike.” She gave Xander a pointed look.
His eyes were a little fearful as they focused on those of the Slayer, and he hurried backed down. “Okay – okay, Buffy, nobody’s gonna stake him – okay…”
Visibly calmer, Buffy slowly took her seat again, still giving Xander a suspicious look.
“She’s very possessive of Spike,” Anya pointed out unnecessarily, watching Buffy with concern. “She wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt him.” Her eyes found those of the blonde vampire, who was staring at the table with a carefully calm expression throughout the discussion of his fate going on around him. He looked hesitantly up at her as she added pointedly, “Which shouldn’t be an option anyway.”
She saw the brief flash of gratitude in Spike’s eyes, just before he looked away again. They both knew that of the entire group, she probably held the least sway, and if the others were determined to stake him, she would not be able to do much to help him.
Still – the sentiment meant a lot to him.
“Quite right,” Giles agreed, much to their relief. “As long as he is under Buffy’s control, Spike is still quite harmless. And as long as they are bound to each other, we have no way of knowing what sort of effect it might have on Buffy if he were harmed.” He paused, sighing wearily. “This bears much research. We need to find out if there’s any way out of the claim without harming either party.”
Spike’s heart sank, a deep, throbbing ache seeming to come over him at the words.
He didn’t *want* the claim broken.
And judging by the troubled expression on Buffy’s face that she tried to conceal from her friends, and the uneasy, confused emotions he felt coming from her – neither did she.
“The problem is,” Anya went on quietly. “Buffy’s been – well – experiencing moments of – what seems like…”
“Possession,” Buffy supplied softly, her eyes wide and haunted as she thought back over the events of the past few days. When they all stared at her, stunned by the word, she explained quietly in a trembling voice, "It's like I'm -- totally not in control. Something just -- takes over me, and -- and -- the things I do..." She shook her head, unable to bring herself to elaborate.
Giles looked to Anya with a troubled, questioning frown.
She just shook her head. "I haven't been there for any of it. Not really. I know what she's told me, and -- and it seems like she gets pretty out of control...but it's only happened full scale when she and Spike have been alone."
The Watcher turned his questioning gaze on the blonde vampire. "Spike..."
Spike looked up at him coolly, making no attempt to respond.
"He can't answer," Willow realized suddenly, her eyes widening with understanding. "Because Buffy ordered him not to talk."
"Which is the only *good* thing that's come out of this," Xander muttered, glaring out of the corner of his eye across the table at Spike.
"Perhaps not at the moment," Giles mused, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully on the uncharacteristically subdued vampire. His gaze turned to Buffy, a slight challenge in his eyes as he went on with a quietly commanding tone. "Perhaps it would be good to hear from Spike on this matter, as he's the only one who's witnessed Buffy in these moments of -- possession, as it were."
Spike's eyes widened in surprise, going quickly to Buffy's face, apprehensive at her reaction to this idea. As he had thought, the Slayer looked almost panicked, trapped, knowing that whatever Spike would have to say on the matter would only serve to further condemn her. She seemed poised to refuse to remove her command of silence, and Spike felt the beginnings of disappointment coming over him -- until the Watcher spoke again, words that he knew the Slayer would not be able to find a reason to argue.
"Unless of course, Buffy -- you have something to hide."
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