Summary: NEW SUMMARY: Spike goes on a quest to atone for wronging Buffy. But, there are people in high places that do not want him to succeed- or survive. If he does, will he change the world? Canon until "Seeing Red" goes AU from there. NOMINATED at the Spuffy Awards Round 12 "BtVS Rewritten" & "Best WIP, Best Angst/Drama" at BIFA and at the Spark & Burn Awards. Also NOMINATED at LLGA ROUND 20 Best Angst, Plot and Saga! WINNER Fang Fetish Round 5: Best Supporting Character- Giles. RUNNER UP at the Spark and Burn Awards 2nd round for "Best Angst" and "Best Fight Scene."
Rated: 15
Categories: Serial Fics Characters: None
Genres: Angst
Warnings: Violence, Adult Language
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 81 Completed: Yes
Word count: 134861 Read: 143500
Published: 03/22/2006 Updated: 11/09/2007
1. Rumor Mill by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 6] 
(1210 words)
I read somewhere that, in an early draft of "Grave" Xander was killed off. I took that and ran with it.
Thanks to Nemo for the beautiful banner!
2. Monsters And Iconoclasts by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (1523 words)
The language is Swahili. I had to use an on- line translator, so I beg your forgiveness if something is a little off. Also, in Swahili there is no word for "vampire." I came as close to the meaning as possible.
3. Living by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (1792 words)
Quotes taken from,"Lovers' Walk, Once More, With Feeling," and, "Seeing Red." Also, please note, there are many words for "lion" in Swahili, but, "simba" also means, "brave person." I thought I'd use it here. Please review.
4. Agrapha by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (2028 words)
"Lorry" is the British term for a truck. Please review.
5. Deconstruction by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 5] (2991 words)
Thanks to Nemo for the beautiful banner!
6. Peanut Butter Needs Jelly by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 7] (2189 words)
World War II mentioned here. And the chapter title will be explained. ;-)
7. Tightrope by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 5] (2260 words)
The words are from Dylan Thomas's poem, "Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night."
8. Why, Oh You by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (2887 words)
The feature film "The Ghost and the Darkness" mentioned here. The film is based on actual events that happened in Tsavo, Africa at the turn of the 20th century. Thought I'd have a little fun with it.
Also, a scene from the "Buffy" episode "Dead Things" is mentioned. I think you'll know which one.
9. Speaking Louder by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 5] (1961 words)
10. Blueshift by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 6] (2298 words)
In astronomy, the closer light gets to an observer the more it shifts into the blue spectrum
11. Cradle of Civilization by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (2546 words)
Lyrics from "Behind Blue Eyes" by "The Who" are within this chapter.
12. Innocence Lost by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 6] (1893 words)
13. Xenophobia by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 6] (1225 words)
14. A Chance of Reign by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 6] (1173 words)
The song "Jenny" is by "Tommy Tutone"
15. Nearsighted by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 5] (1893 words)
16. Exception To The Rule by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1726 words)
17. Heart And Soul by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 6] (2021 words)
18. Back To Basics by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (2273 words)
19. A Different Drummer by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 6] (2399 words)
It may look a little gruesome for Spike. Don't worry though, I know what I'm doing. ;-)
20. Whitewash by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1267 words)
If you're reading, let me know what you think.
21. Goodbye, Professor Marvel by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 2] (3286 words)
Professor Marvel was the name of the wizard in "The Wizard of Oz."
Some dates have changed. The flow makes more sense now. So sorry for the confusion.
22. In Camera by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 5] (1605 words)
"In Camera" is a legal term for what goes on in a judge's chambers. Also note, even I had trouble with this one, but for the story to move it had to be done.
23. Secrets by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1247 words)
24. Forget Me Not by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 5] (2370 words)
Some dates have changed. The flow of the story makes more sense now. So sorry for the confusion.
25. Old Hats by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (3014 words)
For those readers who missed the correction, Buffy arrived in England on August 2nd, 2002. Please enjoy the read. :)
26. Eggshells by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1116 words)
27. Means To An End by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 5] (1759 words)
Thanks to Nemo for the banner!
28. The Still Waters by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1444 words)
Tissue warning
29. Orange-Colored Sky by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (1741 words)
The title of this chapter is also the title of a song by Nat King Cole.
30. Catharsis by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 6] (2453 words)
31. Endgame by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1722 words)
32. Running Deep by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (1416 words)
33. An Act Of Contrition by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1446 words)
Tissue warning
34. True Colors by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (2060 words)
35. Tragedy Masks by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1323 words)
36. The Stonecutter's Hand by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (1397 words)
37. Everything Nice by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1562 words)
If you're reading, let me know.
38. Plain Truths by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (1666 words)
39. Blessings and Cursings by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 2] (1327 words)
40. Eulogy by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1227 words)
41. Objects in Motion by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1705 words)
Thanks to Nemo for the banner!
42. Survival Instinct by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (2186 words)
43. Facing Me by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 2] (1239 words)
44. Seeing You by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1418 words)
45. Me by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 2] (1582 words)
46. Beginnings by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (1465 words)
47. Post Mortem by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 2] (1348 words)
48. Interlude by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1188 words)
49. The Chicken and the Egg by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 2] (1205 words)
50. All The Difference by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1483 words)
51. The Lost Art by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1977 words)
52. Fight or Flight by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 2] (1619 words)
53. Paradigm Shift by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 5] (1112 words)
In researching Victorian era mourning customs, I came across something interesting. While in the extended period of mourning, people in Victorian England would wear jewelry with skulls on them...like watch fobs or rings. I don't know if M.E. knew this or not, but it's an interesting fact.
54. Adding Up by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 2] (1685 words)
55. Catch by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (1347 words)
56. Fools' Gold by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1229 words)
If you're reading, let me know.
57. Yesterday's Girl by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (1842 words)
Please remember that earlier in the story, Buffy's heart *did* stop. That is, until Spike did C.P.R....
58. Olly, Olly, Oxen Free by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1297 words)
59. Armor by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 2] (1138 words)
This will post in two parts. The battle's coming, just not now...
60. Taking It Back by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1290 words)
The "Big Scene" still has to be tweaked. Hope this will tide you over. Enjoy!
61. Sounds of Life by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 5] (2588 words)
62. Wave by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1234 words)
63. Fire by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 5] (1299 words)
64. Something New by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 5] (1201 words)
65. The Guardians of Light by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 6] (1284 words)
Please review
66. Belonging by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (1159 words)
Please review
67. Exile by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (1308 words)
68. Of Dust and Beams by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1125 words)
Things are not as they seem. This story is the first in a series. Please keep that in mind when you read this.
69. Double Bind by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1349 words)
Tissue warning.
70. Apparitions by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (2422 words)
71. Ghosts by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 4] (1467 words)
72. Torn Asunder by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1074 words)
73. The Killing Kind by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1743 words)
74. Right Hand, Left Hand by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1156 words)
75. To Serve And Protect by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1877 words)
76. Partly Sunny by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1217 words)
This was meant to be a longer chapter, but I felt I'd leave it on a happy note...Hope you enjoy this.
77. Home by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 2] (1244 words)
Lyrics from the song, "Out Of This World" by Bush
78. Secundum Os by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1275 words)
Title is Latin for "Behind the mask."
79. Hello, Huston... by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 3] (1942 words)
80. Past Participle by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 2] (1516 words)
81. For Him by Fetching Mad Scientist [Reviews - 2] (1290 words)
This is the last chapter in this story. The saga will continue, however, with "Of Light And Shadow: The Seventh House." It will be coming soon!
Thank you for reading, and I hope you will follow me, and the Scoobies, on to further adventures.