Glancing around William’s penthouse, it was made apparent that this enormous place was not childproof or child friendly. Sharing a look with Willow, Buffy sighed and immediately began formulating ways to make it so Ella could feel free to explore her environment without having Willow or Buffy up her ass every five seconds because she was touching something William called “art”, when really it looked like a glass ashtray or something.
Upon further exploration, the place fit William’s more cold side. The basic color was gray, with seemingly just brighter shades to it.
”What do you think?” he asked, tossing his keys on the glass dining room table. Oh, but she could see Ella’s fingerprints all over that. She could also see her whacking her head on the sharp edges at the corners of the table.
“It’s nice,” Buffy said, trying to sound chipper.
William saw right through it, as she should have figured out he would. “What is it?”
“Well, it’s not exactly...child proof. And it’s very gray and—“
William held up a hand. “I’ve heard enough. Christ Summers, can nothing please you?”
She glared at him, “Plenty pleases me.”
“Yeah, like Riley Finn and twisting your body into a pretzel—“
“And Ella and sometimes even you when you’re not being a jackass!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am never a jackass,” William said haughtily.
Buffy burst out laughing, and slowly, William joined her. He looked around. “I never really thought about it much, but I guess you’re right.”
“Well, you’ve never had children to bring here before, William. Not to mention, you probably only use this place to sleep mainly, right?”
“Yes.”
She shook her head, “Don’t you ever have overnight guests, William?” she teased.
He looked at her expressionless, “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.”
“Well, you’re not a gentleman, so...”
“Oi!”
Buffy giggled. “I’m teasing.”
“Um, Buffy? Master William? Ella is about ready to drop here...” Willow piped up. Looking over, Ella’s eyes were drooping heavily.
“Oh, right. Let me set up the portable crib in the guest room. This way,” William said and led them down the hall to a small little room that appeared to have a bed, but not much else. Working like a team, Willow placed Ella on the bed to change her while Buffy and William set up the crib and then dug in her bags to get her blankets and toys.
Lifting Ella, Willow started for the crib and William stopped her. “We’ve got from here Willow, thank you. Why don’t you take your things up to your room – up the stairs, take a right, and the second door is your room. If you need anything, do not hesitate, all right?”
“Thank you Master William,” Willow said formally, handing Ella over.
“Just call me William, Willow.”
Willow smiled, tossed Buffy a knowing look and exited. Buffy looked up at him. “That was very nice of you.”
He blinked. “What was?”
“Telling Willow to call you William.”
He rolled his eyes. “I suppose you’ll think of this as part of your doing?”
She grinned, “Maybe.”
Placing Ella in bed, they watched over the crib as their niece curled to her side immediately, yawned and fell promptly asleep.
“She’s adorable isn’t she?” Buffy murmured.
“She is. You know, I rather think she’s got a bit of your features.”
“Really?”
William nodded, “Really.”
Looking up and meeting his eyes, Buffy was struck with the domesticity of it all. Of them putting Ella to bed together, “This is nice,” she whispered.
“It is,” William agreed huskily.
Buffy looked around taking in the scene. From the outside looking in, they seemed like the perfect family living the dream. However, the dream she was living was not hers. It was Dru and Angel’s; this was what they had wanted. She felt a pang of guilt mixed with sadness as she enjoyed the spoils of someone else’s dream.
“Buffy love, are you ok?” she looked up at William’s worried face. She wiped her tears as she spoke.
“Yeah, I just, Dru and Angel would have loved to do this,” she looked in her pocket for a tissue. William handed her a handkerchief. “I feel like an imposter, living and enjoying someone else’s happiness.”
She wiped her tears and handed the handkerchief back.
“You keep it love, I have plenty,” he bent to pick up her bags.
“So, which one is my room going to be?” she asked as they headed out of the room.
“Upstairs next to Willow’s. It has a great view of the city and its own bathroom.” He could tell by the look on her face she was not happy. “It’s the best room in the house.”
“So far away from Ella? I don’t know if that’s wise. I won’t be able to hear her when she cries.”
“Well, if you must know, I thought you could use a break. My room is next door so I can get up to her in the middle of the night.” He started out the room.
“William, you have to work. I don’t think getting up at 3 in the morning to soothe a screaming baby will help that.” Buffy walked back into the room and sat on the bed. William sighed as he sat her bags down and went back into the room.
“You wanted me to participate right? Well, this is me participating. Most fathers hold down fulltime jobs yet still manage to help their wives raise their children no matter how many times they have to get up in the middle of the night.”
“I agree but…” William cut her off.
“Buffy, let me do this. I want to,” she could tell by the look in his eyes that he was serious.
“Ok, but on one condition.”
“Anything.”
“I stay in this room with her. We can do this together.”
“Fine, it’s a deal.”
“I hope you realize what you are getting into William. You will have to be coming into our room at all hours of the night.”
“Well, every situation has its upside.”
Buffy was standing alone on a street she did not recognize; in a city she did not know. She was in her pajamas and she was cold, so cold she was shivering uncontrollably.
Instinctively she knew the car coming down the street was Angel’s. She waved frantically to him, thinking if she could get him out of the car, everything would be all right.
He saw her, and a big smile broke out on his handsome face. He waved back to her as he continued down the street, oblivious to how her waving was becoming frantic, oblivious to how she screamed his name in terror as an oncoming car hit him.
She screamed and cried, but it was no use. He was gone. She had been unable to save him. Moreover, in the middle of the road, was Ella, screaming right along with Buffy.
“Buffy.”
William’s voice was speaking to her, but looking around her, she could not see him at all.
“Buffy!”
Buffy lurched up in bed, nearly smacking her head into William’s head. He steadied her with his big warm hands. “Buffy, you all right?” he asked softly while he gently wiping away the wetness on her cheeks.
Reaching up, her fingers grazed his as she realized she had been crying in her sleep. It was just a dream.
Just a horrific dream—and yet, it was not just a dream. It had happened. More tears fell and it took a minute in her groggy state to realize that Ella really was screaming. Without thinking, and just reacting, Buffy made to get out of bed.
“I’ve got her, Buffy. Just lay down. You were thrashing around and I wanted to make sure you were all right and not having some kind of seizure.”
She nodded dumbly and lay back down, staring up at the ceiling, replaying her dream in her mind, causing fat tears to silently cascade down her cheeks.
Ella quieted as soon as William picked her up, and she watched him coo to her for a minute and hold her to his strong, naked chest. He came over and sat down on the edge of her bed. “How are you?”
She shrugged, afraid to speak.
“I’ll just take Ella into—“
She grabbed his arm. “No. William, will you...” she took a shuddering breath. “Will you stay with me? The bed is big enough for all three of us.”
He blinked. “You want me to sleep in bed with you?”
She nodded, her bottom lip quivering, “Please?”
“Of course, Buffy. Just let me change Ella, okay?”
She nodded and watched him change their niece quickly before settling her into the bed beside Buffy. He flicked off the light and then climbed in on the other side of Ella. Buffy rolled to her side, listening to Ella’s breath even out once more, and staring at William, only slightly able to make him out in the dark.
Reaching out, William grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m here whenever you need me, Buffy.”
Her eyes shut, exhaustion taking over. “Thank you,” she whispered just before she fell back to sleep.