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Chapter 6

It had been two days since Ella had been bequeathed to them. Two whole days since Buffy had learned she had had to uproot her life, change her whole country, and live with William in his too large, too cold, too much like a mausoleum, home.

Ella was currently screaming her head off in her crib and Buffy felt helpless. She had sent Willow away for the day, wanting to acclimate herself to her niece. She did not want someone else raising Ella, and she contemplated letting Willow go so she could take on the responsibility of parenting her. Now, however, she was having second thoughts. Perhaps she should have let Willow teach her Ella’s schedule first. She was flying by the seat of her pants. On day two and while she had picked up on some things, she was failing at others. And of course, it was not as if William had come to help. No, of course not. Why would he? He just holed himself up in his study and did not come out until dinner was on the table.

Frowning down at a crying Ella, Buffy had an idea.

Scooping up her niece, Buffy held her close, trying to speak calmly. The poor thing probably missed her parents. Sure, she was young, but she had to know Mommy and Daddy were missing. In addition, she had barely seen Elizabeth over the past few months. In fact, Buffy had seen her when she was born, and then, just pictures. Then what does she do? She sends Willow away, the one person she does know and has a connection with. No wonder Ella had been so fussy.

She really did suck at this.

Frustrated with her inability to take care of Ella, angry at William for not coming out to see her, and missing Angel so much she ached inside, Buffy let the tears go. She cried silently as she rushed to William’s study, cradling Ella to her chest. She could not do this alone.

She would not do this alone.

Remembering vaguely where William’s study was – she was sure he did not want her to remember—she weaved her way down halls and in rooms. The maid, dusting outside the room, rushed to stop her and she merely glared at the woman, effectively stopping her in her tracks.

Bursting into the room, she found William bent over the desk, his suit jacket off – who wore a suit jacket to work at home– his sleeves pulled up and his shirt unbuttoned. His blond hair was tousled and spiked from having run his fingers through it. She remembered that from when she had run her fingers through it.

He looked up at her, startled. “Buffy—“

Marching in, Buffy held Ella out and plopped her in the middle of William’s gigantic desk before spinning on heel and marching back out. She slammed the door shut and leaned against the door in exhaustion. Ella wailed, and Buffy cried.

***

William stared at Ella turning beat red and screaming at the top of her lungs. Giant tears fell from her brown eyes and William was at a loss.

“Buffy!” he called and that made Ella cry harder.

It was then that a foul order stung his nose.

“Oh shit,” William muttered, as that was exactly what it was. “I don’t know the first thing--!” he shouted to the door and then stopped when Ella screamed at him.

***

William paced his office, Dictaphone in one hand and case file in the other. Ella was strapped to his chest in the baby pouch. He had found the pouch in her room when he had gone to change her nappy. Less said about that the better. At that moment, he had made up his mind to give Willow a pay rise.

He had remembered seeing Dru walking around the estate with Ella in the pouch when she was unsettled. Dru, what would she say if she could see him. Not a lot he suspected, too busy laughing. Had Ella heard any laughing since they had passed? He could not remember; guilt flared in him. What kind of parent was he?

Ella’s sigh broke him from his thoughts. He continued his pacing. He continued to work.

“Dear Mr Morrow, in regards to the case McLaughlin versus Orion I must draw your attention to the following facts.” Ella’s giggle interrupted his train of thought.

“What’s so funny princess?” she reached up to grab the Dictaphone from his hands. He gave it over willingly.

“Have something to add to the case?” he could not help but smile as visions of a grown Ella strolling into court as she argued another case. Tears replaced the smile as the realisation that Dru and Angel would never see this little angel grow into a woman. He looked down and saw her trying to eat the Dictaphone.

“Okay, I get the message, dinner time it is.”

***

‘Note to self, next time I feed Ella put the bib on me not her.’

He was really trying to be angry but it was too hard. He and Ella had been in the kitchen for the last hour eating supper. Not so much eating it, more like William would offer the spoon to Ella, Ella would swat it away and the pumpkin mash would land back onto his white Hugo Boss shirt.

“Come on nibblet, just want to have at least one mouthful, then we can call it a day.” He waved the spoon in front of her mouth, which remained clamped shut. He knew what he had to do.

“Here comes the aeroplane,” he waved the spoon around whilst making various burring sounds. Ella thought this was the funniest thing she had ever seen and started to giggle.

As she opened her mouth, he shovelled the spoonful into it.

“Yes, I did it!” William exclaimed, maybe he could do this after all.

“Did what?” he spun around to see Buffy standing in the doorway.

“Nothing,” he responded. He did not want to give her any more ammunition by telling her that it had taken him so long to feed her.

“Nice shirt, I didn’t know that orange splotches were the new black,” she looked him up and down.

“Yeah well, Ella is just going through her abstract phase,” he turned back to her. “Aren’t you love?” He checked his watch. “I guess its bath time,” he picked her up from the high chair.

“I can do it if you want?” Buffy offered.

“No, it’s fine.”

***

Buffy was trying not to be annoyed, she really was. However, as she pressed her ear to the bathroom door she was not happy.

He was supposed to hate this, not be able to cope, ask her for help. Prove that he was the selfish, self centred, uptight, stuck in the mud she wanted him to be. That of course, was the selfish part of her. The part of her that wanted him to fail so that she would feel less like she did. She knew, logically, that was not fair and it was not right, but goddammit, it was not fair that he was having fun and had not been reduced to a near breakdown as she had.

Although, he had also avoided her and Ella for two days. He had one afternoon of taking care of their niece and becoming acclimated to her. Buffy had two and felt as if she had learned nothing.

The plain and simple fact was if they were going to take care of Ella, they were going to have to do it together. As a team. As a . . . something. It was not going to be Willow and Buffy, or just Buffy. Oh, no. William had to be involved, just had to be.

Now all she had to do was inform him of that and hope the fur did not fly.

“Hey, stop slashing, you are making me all wet,” he laughed.

He was laughing now. How had he gone from tightly wound to giggling schoolgirl so quickly?

She opened the door and the sight before her astounded her.

Ella as sitting in her bath chair up to her neck in bubbles with a shirtless William kneeling beside the bath. She looked over his torso as memories of the passion flashed before her eyes.

“She splashed me,” William offered in way of explanation of his state of undress. He scrambled to put the wet shirt back on.

“I bet she did.” Buffy replied. “Why don’t you get washed up, I can take it from here.” She grabbed a towel from the rack and picked Ella up from the bath.

“I can do it,” William replied defensively.

“I know you can, I just thought you might like to change out of your wet orange shirt,” she looked in his eyes she saw confusion, grief and pride.

“We are in this together William,” she rubbed Ella’s back as she held her in her arms.

“Are we?”

“Yes, Angel and Dru, they asked us to raise her. Not you or me but us together.” She had spent the past few hours working it over in her head.

“So, we are in this together.”

“Yes we are, now comes the hard part.” She went to leave the room, “Figuring out what together means.”





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