Chapter 5: Little White Lies to Keep the Dark Truth Hidden
Strawberries!
That was what Spike thought of when his lips were on hers. She tasted like ripe, sweet, just-picked strawberries. He could live forever on just her kisses. He ran his tongue against her bottom lip trying to get a reaction out of her. She just half sat on the edge of the desk, frozen. Spike could not tell if she was shocked that he had kissed her or she was scared. When he felt her fingers grasp his suit jacket, he knew he had hooked her. Very slowly, she responded to his kiss. He could feel hesitance, but after a while she kissed him back.
If kissing her feels like this I wonder what it will feel like to be bloody inside of her. Was the only thing he thought of as his hands moved from her legs up to roam her back. Spike felt her shudder underneath his touch and he couldn’t help but smile.
Don’t kiss him back Summers. What ever you do…do not kiss him back. Buffy repeated the mantra over and over again in her head but when his tongue slowly slid across her lips she lost it. Ah fuck! And slowly she began to kiss him back.
Buffy believed his mouth was perfect. Sensuous. Too great for a man like him. And at the same time she hated him for how he was making her feel. Just because she agreed, wasn’t she allowed not to feel for him in return? It would be safe if she never felt anything for him. It’s just going to be sex. That’s all it will ever be between you and him. Her mind told her and as if trying to get rid of the disturbing truth from her mind, Buffy Summers grabbed him tighter where she held his suit jacket in her hands. She couldn’t stop herself from pulling him closer to deepen their kiss.
The way his hands were roaming her back, the feeling of his lips against hers…God she could get used to this. Nevertheless, she shouldn’t like it, she scolded herself. Those thoughts kept whisking by her head every time she felt his erection ground into her.
And, suddenly reality came crashing down when she felt his arousal. In an instant, she felt dirty, remembering their situation. Her on the desk, him hovering over her, between her legs. How did that happen? Buffy asked herself lamely at the fact that he was standing between her legs. She was in her father’s study on his desk no less and Hank was standing right outside that door, able to walk in at anytime if he felt his daughter was with Spike for way too long. His hands thrust up into her hair to run through her golden locks and Buffy remembered the disheveled state of her hair due to him taking out her ponytail.
Unclenching her hands from his clothing, Buffy gave him a shove with as much strength as she could muster. He stumbled three feet back, just enough to for her to be able to hop off and run around the other side of the desk. She saw his arm reach out to grab to her again from the corner of her eye but Buffy was quick enough to dodge his grasp considering she was a ballerina dancer.
“Kitten…” Spike said with a low growl. He was angry at the fact that she had ended their little kiss so soon. He again took a step towards her but she held up her hands as if that would stop him.
“Please don’t!” she whimpered. Tears fell down her face. He didn’t understand why she was crying. It wasn’t like she hadn’t kissed him back, Spike thought at the sight of her tears. At the same time feeling the anger at her obvious rejection, Spike felt hurt at the sight of her. Her jacket was half off her, her hair was a mess, and her lips were slightly swollen from their kiss. She looked like a mess.
“Love…” He coaxed her to come near him but she just shook her head. If she got near him then she’d be confused on whether she should like the feeling he had caused in her a minute ago or not.
“I’m not your love.” Her words were harsh.
Again his eyes got that look that he had when he had caused her to be on the desk. Buffy thought he would shatter his teeth if he clenched his jaw any tighter. Note to self: His jaw clenches when he’s angry. Buffy thought, making a mental note.
“Actually pet I beg to differ. You are my love. Remember? You are my mistress. Catch that same word in there? MINE!” As if he had lightning speed like Superman, Buffy soon found Spike standing right in front of her. The dark menacing look he had in his eyes was more frightening up close. He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him if that was even more possible before smashing his lips to hers again.
Buffy fought back to push him away but Spike grabbed her wrists to stop her struggle. The way he was kissing her now was far from the gentle one he had given her before. It was rough, full of lust, passion, and maybe a hint of anger. At least with the first one it felt like he actually loved her. She cried out when Spike nipped at her bottom lip roughly.
“What the hell is going on here?”
Spike pulled his lips away from Buffy but still held her arms in his. Buffy’s head turned towards the sound of the voice to find Joyce Summers standing in the doorway in her robe and scarf with Hank right behind her. Joyce looked back and forth between the blondes with utter confusion. Buffy never thought she could feel relieved and ashamed at the same time but she did.
“Well is anyone going to answer me?” Joyce asked impatiently. She didn’t understand what the hell was going on. When Jeffrey had come up to her five minutes ago to bring her breakfast, he had informed her that her daughter was with her father in the study. Seeing that Joyce really had not talked with her husband and eldest daughter much the night before Joyce decided to go downstairs, ignoring the protests from her private doctor, Wilson, as she left the confinements of her bed.
When she had come downstairs, she had found Hank right outside his study door. When Joyce had asked him where Buffy was, he had stuttered and tried to avoid her look so much she knew that he was hiding something.
”Is she in there?” Joyce had asked Hank. Her husband shook his head but would not budge from his place in front of the door.
Joyce had practically yelled and threatened until Hank finally moved, knowing it probably wasn’t best to piss off his wife.
Buffy instantly pulled herself from Spike’s grasp fully and looked down confused and embarrassed. She looked to her father to for any sign on what she should say.
“Um….Mom…I have something to tell you.” Joyce’s own confused look turned gentle at her daughter’s obvious discomfort.
“Yes dear what is it? Who is this man?” Joyce asked pointing at Spike. Before Buffy could reply, Spike stepped forward.
“William Giles, ma’am. You must be Mrs. Summers.” Buffy watched as Spike walked over to her mother and took her hand in his to place a warm kiss on the palm. Buffy simply rolled her eyes at his obvious ass kissing.
“Oh…” Was all Joyce said after she fully realized who this man really was. Her look instantly turned suspicious at the fact of what she had just witnessed between her daughter and this man.
“Mom…we were just…” Buffy suddenly felt as if she was 16 years old and she was just caught with her boyfriend. Except Spike was far from being considered as her boyfriend.
“We were just celebrating our engagement,” Spike said with a big smile.
Silence filled the room. You could hear a pin drop if you tried hard enough. How dare he just take things into his own hands!!! The young blonde thought. Inside her, she felt the anger begin to boil up inside her. Buffy was near ready to walk over to Spike and cut off his head for what he just dropped.
The silence quickly ended with Buffy’s angry scream. “SPIKE!!!!!” The gang leader turned around to give her a curious glance, his eyebrow raised and it just seemed to piss her off further. Buffy saw Hank smack his hand to his forehead shaking it in disbelief.
“Well pet, I just asked your father and he said he’d support us. We might as well tell the world about our engagement.” He gave her a dirty smirk and winked at her. Spike watched as she shook with anger, amused at the look she had when she was obviously trying to hold her tongue. Feeling the want to banter with her to see her angry, Spike walked back over to her and wrapped her up in his arms pulling her close against his chest. “Isn’t that right kitten?” His fingers reached out to stroke her cheek and all Buffy wanted to do was bat away his hand. “I suggest you play along pet or we’ll have to tell her the truth.” He whispered in her ear so only she could hear it.
Buffy never wanted to kick a guy in the crotch more than she did now with Spike. The bastard was putting her in an uncomfortable position, forcing her to lie to her mother. She hated lying to Joyce because she was such a bad liar in the first place. However, Buffy realized there was no other way out of it. If she told her mother the truth Buffy would never be able to look at her in the eye again. Their family needed this no matter what.
“Buffy…is William telling the truth?” Her mother asked with obvious disbelief in her voice. Holding back the tears as best as she could Buffy just nodded her head yes.
“William and I have been seeing each other for a few months now.” It was the best thing she could come up with. Oh God I’m going to hell.
“We know it’s kind of sudden, Mrs. Summers but what can I say I just want the world to know that I want her...forever. And, well we’re not planning on getting married right away, right pet? Give it a while or so,” Spike said with a smile.
“How did you two meet?” Joyce questioned.
Buffy couldn’t think of anything and she looked up at Spike expecting him to say something. This time Hank stepped in. “They met when Spike and I had a meeting one day.”
Well it wasn’t completely a lie. They had met that way; just the time of when they had met was a big fat fib.
Again silence filled the room and Buffy could tell her mother was trying to come to terms with what was going on. God if she only knew. She wanted to tell her mother desperately. Buffy always hated keeping things from her. But what would Joyce do if she found out about it? It would surely make the older woman distressed and right now the family could not have that. Maybe it is best to give a little white lie to keep her from the dark truth Buffy thought.
Joyce looked at her daughter. “Buffy are you sure you want this? To marry this man?” It seemed as if Joyce was trying to tell Buffy that William Giles was a bad man. Trying to make her understand the situation, what she would be putting herself into. Buffy just couldn’t meet her mother’s eyes. Instead, she looked up at Spike and into his azure colored ones. “Yes…” She whispered out.
That simple word sealed her fate. She was now for sure going to be his mistress. To her mother she was to be the wife of Spike William Giles and Buffy tried desperately to keep the tears of sudden depression from falling. She was property now no matter how anyone looked at it. The smirk on Spike’s face seemed to turn more dangerous and evil if that was even possible.
Slowly Spike closed the space between them and placed his lips on hers. She couldn’t fight back, not without raising more questions from her mother.
When he ended it, a single tear fell down her cheek. Flicking it away with his thumb, Spike pulled her closer. The tear seemed to go unnoticed between her parents.
“I see…” Joyce said. “I guess all I can do is to give you my best wishes. Is there anything else I need to know?”
“Buffy’s moving in with me by the end of this week.”
“Okay…” Joyce felt like she was slowly losing her daughter but she had to accept it because her daughter wanted it. Besides Spike did not seem to be the type of man she had heard about. Maybe he would treat her as if Hank had once treated her. With love. “I guess I’ll head back to my room now. Buffy, I wish to talk to you tonight.”
Buffy nodded her head. Hank said he would help take Joyce back to their room, leaving Spike alone again with Buffy. The minute the door closed Buffy unleashed her anger. She pulled her arm back and slapped Spike right across his cheek with enough force to send his head reeling back. Before he could react, Buffy pushed him hard getting his hands off her.
“You bastard.”
Spike chuckled deep in his throat. “Yeah well you belong to this bastard now!”
Without thinking, Buffy reacted, grabbing the first thing that she could grasp. She picked up one of her father’s crystal scotch glasses and hurled it in his direction. He ducked, leaving it to shatter against the wall behind him. For once Buffy cursed for taking up ballet rather than softball.
Suddenly she found herself against the wall behind her father’s desk. The wind was practically knocked out of her plus the added shock of how she had missed him charging at her.
“I WILL NEVER BE YOURS!” Buffy spit out, gritting her teeth when she felt his bruising grip.
“That’s not how your Mom sees it kitten.” Spike smiled at her anger. She looked dead sexy when she was angry. Dangerous, but still sexy. The way her little nostrils flared and her eyes would seem to spark. Spike knew in the future he would never get tired of her temper.
Buffy stopped thrashing to try to get out of his hold and from against the wall. Her eyes looked into his, fire practically rising from them. “But you see Spike, that’s where your plan is fucked up. It is all a lie. I would never marry you Spike. Never. Ever. You got that? You’re beneath me, you monster.”
Spike’s eyes grew darker and her words seemed to really hurt him this time.
Buffy saw it. The hurt in his expression. It was just for a second but she saw it and Buffy Summers for once felt like she had the upper hand in this situation. That is until he smashed his lips to hers again giving her a bruising kiss. “You keep telling yourself that, pet,” he said, pulling away.
Spike let go of her as if he was dropping her. He straightened his tie and suit jacket while walking towards the study door. Stopping right before the door, he turned back to her and winked. “Be ready to move in three days….lover.” And with that he shut the door leaving Buffy alone in the study still against the wall. Tears fell down her cheeks but she wiped them away. Need to be strong Summers if you’re going to survive.
Minutes later Buffy left her father’s study in a desolate silence. Her thoughts weren’t even running in her mind for once. She was still reeling from earlier in the study. Will it always be like this? It was the only thing Buffy had asked herself in her head.
She was about to start walking up the steps to her bedroom intent on showering and just laying around, until the front door opened and Dawn came running in.
“Dawnie…what the?” Buffy asked seeing her sister practically slide against the polished floor.
“Are you okay?” Her sister quickly asked.
“Yeah…”
“I didn’t think he’d be here,” Dawn said. Buffy looked up at her, surprised she had seen Spike. “I was on my way in when he was walking out. At first, I didn’t recognize him until I saw his face. I was about to start yelling, kicking him, anything to get him to stop from using you but when I saw his eyes I couldn’t. I don’t know…he just made me freeze. Kind of scared me.”
Buffy nodded, understanding. Together the two sat down on the staircase and Buffy began to tell her all that had happened in her father’s study. She told her Mom believed they were engaged.
“Dawn, there’s no use in trying to see if you can save me from it. I’m stuck. Don’t tell Mom. Don’t let Dad know that you know the truth. Don’t tell anyone know the truth. OK?”
“Ok…but Buffy I’m worried.”
Buffy got up, leaving her sister still sitting on the first step of the staircase. “So am I Dawn, so am I.” Buffy continued on her way up the large staircase towards her bedroom, not even bothering to ask Dawn why she wasn’t in school.
Buffy walked out of her steam filled bathroom with her towel wrapped around her body and into her room. During the shower, her quietness had dissipated and she had washed her body of the sweat from rehearsal and of Spike’s scent of cigarettes on her. Then Buffy had begun to feel angry. She came to the decision she would never give her heart to Spike no matter how much he tried to win it. She’d hold firm.
Suddenly the shrill ringing of her cell phone made Buffy jump. She ran over to her dance bag and pulled out her cell phone. Willow Cell. Opening the phone Buffy pressed Answer.
“Hello.”
“Buffy?” Willow greeted.
“Hey Wills. What’s up?” Buffy tried to keep her anger from showing in any way.
“Are you doing anything today?”
“Nope I just got out of the shower. You want to hang out, I feel like I’m definitely going to need major Willow time.”
Buffy and Willow agreed they’d meet at the Starbucks in an hour giving Buffy enough time to get ready and figure out whether she should tell Willow about her Spike situation or not.
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