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PART 2

***************************************************** (= Meanwhile)
Sunnydale, 5 Sept 2003

The whole town was just a mound of rubble, especially the school.
Under the scrap heap there was still the medallion, covered by a pile of ashes.
Suddenly, the wind blew, arising those ashes. They made a vortex, which took the form and the features of a certain person: Spike.

He took a look around, agitated and puzzled, not realizing how he had come back to life (well, in a manner of speaking!), where he was (he hadn’t figure out that was the place of the final battle, a battle he had won) and most of all why in front of him there was nonetheless Nikki, the Slayer he had added to his list in the 70’s at NY.
“ Ok, I got it: this is Hell, so you got to torture me for eternity. C’mon, have fun!” he exclaimed, touching himself to assure he had really come back in flesh and bones.
“ This isn’t the Hell, neither Heaven or Purgatory, relax! It’s just Sunnydale; well… way much different from how you used to know it!” she explained, confusing him more.
“ What the hell does it mean? And why the bloody hell are you with me?”
“ Well, it’s not a very nice way to greet your savior!” she commented, crossing her arms.
“ My.. m. my w-what?!”
“ You heard me. You know, after all the Apocalypses we prevented and the Hell we lived through; when we die, we Slayers have a kind of influence with the ‘Highest Powers ‘. So, very often, we get what we want… And guess what I wished?”
“ You wished me back! How can it be?”
“ You know, the Highest Powers appreciate sacrifices a lot. The bigger the sacrifice is, the more they are willing to … close an eye!” she explained.
“ Close an eye?! They have brought *me *, a demon, a killer, back; just because of a good deed I did. But one good deed doesn’t tip the scale!”
“ In the last two years you’ve done more than a good action! Anyway, listen: how many people did you kill? Hundreds?” she exclaimed.

Spike, or rather his demon, gave her a ‘ Hey-you-are-talking-with-the-Scourge-of-Europe ‘ look.
“ Ok, thousands! But how many ones did you save? Every single person in the whole world, which means millions and millions of humans, so many more than the ones you killed. I guess this kind of good deed can tip the scale!” she smiled.
“ But why are you, just you, helping me? I killed you, for God’s sake!”
“ It was just your instinct against mine: one of us had to die and you came off better. If you hadn’t killed me, someone else would have done it soon anyway! Besides, you were right: I really had a death wish…” she admitted.
Spike couldn’t believe what he had heard; but neither that made him feel better.
“ Anyway, it’s not just about me. You did something I’ll be eternally grateful to you for: you didn’t kill my Robin. Although he tortured you like hell. You know, just seeing his ‘ sanctuary’ made me sick for you! Spike, you had free will and no chips and yet you didn’t kill him, thank you!”

Spike was puzzled more and more, but he smiled to her.
“ He’s not a bad guy after all… bloody good fighter, too! And I understand his reason… all of us have a mom we love…. I should kill myself (again) for what I did to mine…” he confessed, almost crying.
“ You tried to save her. Ok, it wasn’t the right way, but you turned her because you loved her, just to prevent her from dying by her terrible disease. Not to mention that you were just a soulless demon then and all vampires mostly like destroying their own parents; yet you had a human feeling towards her, it’s incredible! I’m sure your mother, the real one, not her demon, understood you and also forgave you…”

It was a pure nonsense: a vampire that was going to cry because he repented for doing to his mother what he had done, and even more absurd a Slayer, one of the two he had killed, trying her best to comfort him.
And she succeeded.
“ Oh, I almost forgot! The Highest Powers liked your so heroic and altruistic choice so much that they wanna reward you: they will grant you a wish!”
“ Are you kidding? I mean not only you, or they, brought me back, but they also give me a prize? I don’t deserve it; I didn’t deserved to come back; I am bad, I hurt so many people, I deserve to be punished!” he insisted.
“ Believe me, you suffered enough: you have been through so many troubles before, during and after winning back your soul; and this is something you chose willingly to do, no one forced you, no one cursed you. Besides, you did what you did for love, it’s not the chip, and maybe… neither your soul: you have changed for love, for the love of that girl and it’s something beautiful, unbelievable… and also kinda moving!” she admitted.
“ In a word, I couldn’t let everything end up so bad, not after what she had told you. As you can see, I’ve been watching you for a long time… and I root for you two! So now, stay on this Earth, come back to your existence and tell me what your wish is; or I will personally ask to let you burn in Hell, you, stubborn vampire!” she snapped.
“ I’ll do it, don’t worry! It’s just that I’m kinda surprised, I didn’t expect all this caring for me. It seems that I can make my biggest desire come true on my own, so, if I have to choose another one… sun. I’d like to stay in daylight, without heavy covers of course!”
“ So, it’s the sun…” she said, putting a finger on her chin, in a thoughtful way.
“ Well, you’re asking a little bit too much. You have to renounce something for such a request…” she informed him.
“ Sure, I knew there was a hook! I’m ready to renounce anything, no… wait, except for two things: my memories of her… and my soul…. Please, do not take any of these two …” he begged her, afraid to pay a too big price for his wish.
She smiled mysteriously, alarming him.

“ I’ve already decided what you’ll have to renounce!”

*************************************************
After comforting Xander for a while, Buffy let him alone to watch that videotape.
She looked for someone else, someone she had to apologize with.
She found him in his office.
“ Angel, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so mean before..”
“ Don’t, Buffy, there’s no need. After all, there was some truth in your words..”
“ No, Angel! It’s not true. It’s only that I have so much anger inside and sometimes I take it out on someone who has no faults. Truth is that the only person I really loathe… it’s me. God, sometimes I can be such a horrible person and..”
“ Stop this nonsense! Buffy, you’re a wonderful person, with a great heart and everyone loves you, especially I do..” he said, looking into her eyes seriously.
“ Angel…” she exclaimed wavering and unsure.
“ I know. You don’t love me anymore. I realized that when I kissed you…” he commented, a bit upset.
“ Angel, I loved you, God only knows how much! And a part of me will always do. You taught me to love..”
“ But then I left you, no matters if I only did it for your own good…”
“ Yeah, so I’ve closed my heart to anyone since then, even Riley…”
Angel spurted rolling his eyes, hearing that name.
Although he had met him just once, he couldn’t stand that guy.
“ Question is… Buffy… did you love Spike?”
Buffy didn’t know how to answer: she knew it was a huge effort for him to ask her that question, and also that she was going to hurt him, but she had to be sincere with him.
“ With him I was beginning to unlock my heart… so.. yes, I loved him and still do, but now… he is gone… and I’m afraid my heart is going to be locked forever. Love is pain and I’m tired of being hurt!” she explained, almost crying.
“ I just need to be alone for a while. That’s why I’m leaving!” she informed him.
“ Where are you going to go?” Angel confined him to ask her.
He knew it was useless trying to stop her: if Buffy got something into her head, nothing and no one could make her change her mind.
“ I’m going back to Sunnydale…”
“ But there’s nothing left there!”
“ It’s exactly what I need: nothing!”

< Nothing that can remind me of him… >

“ When do you leave?”
“ Tonight. I’m telling just you; the others would never let me go… Please, say goodbye to them for me… Maybe one day I’ll come back!”

TBC





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