Title: Spank Your Inner Moppet

Author: Sarah Aless

Contact/Feedback: give_it_to_me_spikey@yahoo.co.uk Oh and I have an LJ now feel free to send the love (or death-threats) there its at http://www.livejournal.com/users/sarahaless/


Rating: NC-17

Pairing: B/S

Spoilers: Season Two, ‘When She Was bad’ - Season 6, after ‘Smashed’ before ‘As You Were’

Disclaimer: Y'know I wish they were mine. Unfortunately it still hasn't happened. Joss and ME own them. I'm just using them for my own smutty ends.

Distribution: mysticmuse.net, One Good Lay, Spanking the Slayerettes & www.vampires-kiss.net. Anyone else.....Put it where you like ;-) but please tell me where it's going.


Summary: A bit of battle re-enactment in a Sunnydale alley (well fight re-enactment anyway). Can Spike prevail where Angel failed? Spike and Buffy, fighting, arguing and screwing (eventually) – what more could we want?

A/N: The speech which is in italics in this part is quoted directly from ‘When She Was Bad’ – I did this so’s not to confuse whats being re-enacted and whats being actually said.




Patrol had been boring. No big brewin’ evil, not even a pathetic fledgling to play with. Buffy would obviously have been fine alone, but she had her constant thorn in the side along with her. As there was nothing doing demon wise, they’d fallen into old habits, namely sniping at one another. Spike wanted to go back to his crypt for a little ‘extra-curricular’ fun. Buffy was insisting that they keep patrolling, suspicious of the fact that it was too quiet; asserting that something must be about to happen. So, patrolling continued. The conversation had turned to their moments of glory and failure, battle wise. That’s what started it.

Buffy related the tale of the time, a couple of weeks before Spike had arrived in Sunnydale, when the order of Aurelius had almost resurrected the Master. Shockingly, she actually admitted to Spike that that little faux pas had been caused by her own stubborn, pig-headedness. Spike had snorted at that. Averring that, although Buffy was undoubtedly a ‘stubborn little chit’ (which earned him a severe eye-roll), the blame was all Angel’s. This hardly surprised Buffy, given enough time Spike could find a way to blame Angel for anything. She’d bitten, however, and asked him to elaborate; that’s when the real trouble started.

“As bloody usual,” Spike informed her. “He handled it all wrong. Stupid bloody poof! Now if I’d been around, your silly little friends would never have gotten caught in the first place.”

“Spike you were totally evil then, bent on killing me. You wouldn’t have cared if my ‘silly little friends’ were kidnapped. In fact you’d probably have helped.”

“Well obviously luv. I don’t mean me then.” Spike threw her a ‘c’mon luv, keep-up’ look. “Mean me now. I’d have known straight away what was eating you. I’d have snapped you out of it in the alley, on the way to the Bronze. Sent you right back to the library, just in time to stop the raiding party.”

“Oh let me guess. You’d have ‘kicked my ass’ like I challenged Angel to do?” During their talk she’d told him word for word of the conversation with Angel. It had slightly embarrassed her, even now. She was shocked by how vividly she could remember it – apparently she still had it in her to be ashamed of her behaviour. “You’re so predictable Spike. Besides, you know whose ass would have been getting kicked in that scenario. And you know it wouldn’t be me limping home.”

“Do I detect a hint of the same cocky arrogance that caused the trouble all that time ago pet?”

“Oh, trust you to bring the word ‘cocky’ into it. Don’t you ever think of anything, or with anything but, your….‘thing’?

“You’re the one making an innocent comment all sexual luv. What’s wrong? Am I stirring up memories of how much ‘cock’ you weren’t getting from the ponce back then?”

Buffy didn’t get a chance to answer that one, which was probably just as well.

“Hey! What’s with the man-handling Spike?”

“This is the place isn’t it?”

Buffy suddenly realised that this was indeed the self same alley. The place where she’d almost had a showdown with Angel, when she’d returned from that first summer with her dad after she moved to Sunnydale. The night she’d tortured Xander on the dancefloor of the Bronze; the night she’d almost gotten her watcher killed; the night she’d crushed the bones of the master.

“Want me to show you what I’d have done if you’d have challenged me like that?” Spike smirked at her his eyes twinkling.

The night was just boring enough that a little re-enactment, topped off by her kicking Spike’s ass sounded quite inviting. Apart from anything else, she was a little pissed that he thought he had enough control over her that he’d have been able to ‘snap her out of it’.

“Why not?” She said, her own eyes twinkling now as she brushed past him and began to walk up the alley. “Got nothing better to do. You attempting to kick my ass will be good exercise if nothing else.” As she’d hoped he began to follow her up the alley. She knew he’d have the whole conversation she’d related, stored in his vamp brain, so she went straight into the ‘re-enactment’.

“You know being stalked isn’t really a big turn on for girls.”

“You need help. Someone to watch your back……… And a very nice view it is pet. One thing I can’t fault him on.” Spike was unashamedly leering at her leather covered ass.

Much as he loved the memories of that first time they’d done the nasty, which the skirt she wore brought back, he couldn’t help but wish it was shorter.

“Spike! Are we doing this or not?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry.”

“Don’t you mean my neck?”

He moved round in front of her just as she’d described Angel doing.

“Why are you riding me? Or not, mores the pity.”

“Spike!”

He held up his hand up in a placatory gesture, before indicating she should go on.

“Because I don’t trust you. You’re a vampire…………Oh I’m sorry. Is that an offensive term? Should I say ‘undead American’?”

Spike chuckled in spite of himself, thinking ‘Bet the ponce loved that! Nice quip from her too. Cheeky little cow.’

“You have to trust someone.”

“I trust me.”


“You’re not as strong as you think.” Spike waggled his eyebrows, now they were getting to the good stuff.

Buffy smirked at him and Spike suddenly wondered why they were playing this silly game. Why hadn’t he dragged her back to his crypt already? He really had to fight the urge to do just that as she drew herself up before him, smirk still in place.

“Think you can take me?”

“ANYway you want me to luv, and then some!”

“Spike, I thought we were going to find out your response to my challenge. If you’re going to keep interrupting we’re never gonna get to the fight.”

“Ok, fine……… What?”

“C’mon. I mean you musta thought about it, what would happen if it ever came down to a fight. You vampire. Me the Slayer. I mean you must have wondered. Well, why don’t we find out?”

“I’m not gonna fight you.” He had to force himself to say it. That smug look on her face made his demon scream to take her down. Wipe the smile off her face.

“Come on!” The expression became unbelievably cocky now. Spike vamped out as she put her hands, back and onto her hips, pushing her breasts out, so they presented a very pleasing image, framed by the skimpy tank top she wore. “Kick my ass!”

That was it, the challenge was issued.


Spike immediately lunged for her. The audacity and ‘cock-suredness’ of her expression and speech causing his demon to take control in a primal way. The demon rage caused a distinct lack of finesse in his first assault, allowing Buffy to easily side-step out of his way. Laughing she gave him a ding around the back of the head as he sailed past her.

Spike paused momentarily to unvamp and rein in his demon. This would be over embarrassingly quickly if he didn’t start using his head and ignoring his demon’s desire to rip and shred. He turned slowly to where Buffy stood behind him, still laughing at his blundering opening strike.

“Right then!” he said, breathing in heavily through his nostrils, his face now a picture of the phrase ‘dead-calm’. “You want your ass kicked? You’ll get your ass kicked!”

“Uhuh Spike.” That cheeky smirk again. “I’m sure I will. Cos, you’ve started out so well!”

This time he feigned a punch with his right hand and caught her face with a sharp left hook. She staggered back a little but quickly brought her foot up and delivered a kick to his stomach. Now Spike was the one staggering backwards as Buffy advanced to begin the pummelling. The blow to the stomach hadn’t hit Spike as hard as he was letting her think and he took a moment to admire his Slayer. She was stalking towards him, wisps of her hair flying out around her determined face. She was a breathtakingly (if he had any to take) beautiful force to be reckoned with when she was like this. He ducked his head again so as not to be put off by the sight she presented. He was very slightly bent over and looking down a little, enabling him to see her fist as she swung up to hit him under the chin.

He easily grabbed her wrist. In a fluid movement he yanked her forward by the captured arm and swung her round so that he was holding it behind her back. Shoving her slightly as he released her wrist, he delivered a mighty kick to her backside as she staggered forward.

“Told you I’d kick your ass luv.” Spike grinned as Buffy turned to him again, face full of fury. Her expression reverted back to a smirk as she replied.

“Oh I’m sorry! Did you actually touch me there? I didn’t feel a thing.”

“Tsk, tsk, luv. Still got that attitude going on there. Careful what you say. Kicking your ass isn’t the only thing I can do to it.”

“You’re a pig Spike!” Buffy flushed as she remembered how she’d panted and moaned last night as Spike fingered her pussy and ass while he went down on her.

Spike grinned to himself, Buffy all flustered (and probably getting wet, if he knew anything about it) made his plan just that much easier.

“But you love my pork sword pet. Don’t ya?” He cupped his crotch and thrust into his hand as he spoke.

Buffy dropped her fight stance and stared at him open-mouthed for a second.

“You did not just use the phrase ‘pork sword’” She said in disbelief. “Just for that you’re not getting any sex for at least a month! You’ve put me right off the idea. And I’m soooo gonna kick your ass now!”

Spike was gleeful. She’d just upped the challenge to a sexual one too. He didn’t for a second, take seriously her threat to withhold sex. Oh she could try, but he hadn’t yet failed to convince her to lose her knickers when she was reluctant. Whether he accomplished the task with words, or a look, or strategically placed lips and fingers, she always ‘gave in’ to his amorous attentions – usually by responding in a much hornier manner than he himself had started with.

“Slayer.” He taunted “I could kick your arse with my hands tied behind my head! And you know you’ll never hold out, depriving yourself of my own special brand of lovin.”

Buffy looked at him in disbelief again. “Your ‘own special brand of lovin’? God Spike. I swear you’re channelling Austin Powers or something tonight…...Cheesy lines much? If you keep talking like that, you’ll make it so easy for me to keep my legs shut and your dick in your pants.” The smirk returned to her face as Spike looked slightly taken aback at the uncharacteristic ‘spicy talk’ for a second. “You are so full of shit! And you’re so dead!”

She launched herself at him again. This time it was Spike who side-stepped and Buffy who sailed gracefully past him before landing in a decidedly ungraceful heap on a pallet lying in the alley. Spike stalked over and hauled her up by her collar. Holding onto the back of her jacket he held her at arms length, so that she was positioned side-on to him and proceeded to repeatedly kick her backside in what looked like a bizarre parody of Michael Flatley’s River Dance.

Eventually Buffy pried his fingers off her collar and turned round in a whirl. She grabbed the front of his coat, pulling him towards her to head-butt him before throwing him against a wall. While he was still stunned from the head-butt she flung him round so he was face first against the wall. As quickly as she could she backed up a little and delivered a running kick to his ass.

“Oh!” he grinned as he turned again. “Obviously my literally kicking your ass just gave you ideas and didn’t have the desired effect at all. Guess we’ll have to try another strategy to get you to drop the pig-headedness and go stop your friends from being captured.” In all the tacky taunting and silly sparring Buffy had forgotten the ‘point’ of this. Spike’s words caused a mischievous spark in her brain.

“Y’know.” she grinned right back at him. “You’re right. It’s not working is it? You aren’t managing. Guess I’ll be off to the Bronze then, seeing as how you’ve failed even more miserably than Angel did to make me ‘see sense’.”

She turned and ran, laughing at the brief look of rage she’d caught on Spike’s face caused by her unfavourable comparison of him to Angel. She’d only gotten a few steps before Spike’s hand caught a clump of her hair, causing her to come to a complete stop almost immediately.

“Fine, pet. You want to get childish? Run away, taunt me with the poof? Then I’ll treat you like the spoiled child you’re being.” There was a large packing crate conveniently situated close to where they had stopped. Spike dragged her towards this, still with a firm grip on her hair. He’d learned that grabbing her hair was a smart move, as she would always quell any really violent movements or attempts to escape his grasp for fear of losing a chunk of her golden tresses.

“What the hell are you babbling about Spike? Let go of me! You’re hurting.”

“Should’ve thought about that earlier luv.” Spike scoffed, he knew he wasn’t really hurting her. He wasn’t pulling hard and she was the slayer for God’s sake! He reached the convenient packing crate and sat down on it, relinquishing his hold on her hair for the time being at least. The second he let go and sat down Buffy took a swing at his face. Spike chuckled as he easily caught her wrist, blocking the blow and using her momentum to turn her over his knees.


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Now I just wonder what he’ll do with her now?? Hehe well seeing as it’s me, probably no surprises there but who wants to know anyway?





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