Buffy had nervous energy. She had a load of nervous energy. At the moment, she was pacing the training room nervously, waiting for Katherine. Mostly because the last month with Spike had been wonderful and because she needed to ask the demi-god something. Of course, it was kind of wrong to ask Katherine this, but she couldn’t ask anyone else. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to do it yet.
Katherine entered through the back door, hair pulled into a bun and wearing the usual outfit of a denim skirt and expensive top. She sat on the closest flat surface and looked at Buffy questioningly.
“What’s up?”
Buffy took a deep breath. “Okay. There’s this thing I want to do. And it’s probably wrong for me to ask you of all people because of the subject, but, since you see the future half the time and everything, can you, can you look me in the eyes and tell me we’ll be okay?”
Katherine nearly froze. The vision. This moment was what led to the vision she’d had all those weeks ago. The wedding. Katherine looked Buffy in the eyes and took in what she saw…and she was missing a few blanks, important blanks. All that told her was that the future was changing as they spoke. That things were becoming harder. Harder to deal with, harder to fix. Just harder.
And Katherine knew harder. Harder was staring in Buffy’s eyes. The eyes of someone she cared about…to some extent. That trusted her to give the right answer. But, she was unsure. Unsure of how to answer the question. What kind of answer could she give when she wasn’t sure about what lay ahead in the next few months?
“You’ll be okay.”
Buffy opened the box and stared at the contents. Katherine and Willow had helped her pick it out, even if the demi-god seemed a bit jealous while doing it. And Buffy loved it. It was exactly shat she needed.
The door closed with a nearly silent click behind her and she walked up the stairs slowly, hitting the box she held in her right hand against the palm of her left.
Just outside the door to her room, she reached up to grab a hold of the cross Spike had given her. She closed her eyes, relishing in the moment where she realized just how much she loved him. She then opened her eyes, pushing the door open.
He was sleeping, as she expected. It was five thirty in the morning and Katherine had taken her as far as Rome to find the right thing for this moment. The sun was just peeking through the window and she watched the sunlight play on his skin.
She walked across the room, slipping the box in her jean pocket before sitting on the bed. She shook him gently and smiled a bit when he didn’t wake up. She then leaned forward, pressing her lips against his softly and wearing a grin on her face when he woke up, responding to her kiss.
“Nice way to wake up.” He commented.
Buffy couldn’t help her smile, knowing what she was going to do. “I have a way to make it even better.” She pulled the box out of her pocket and placed it on the bed between them.
Spike sat up a bit, reaching forward to pick it up. He opened it and found a ring. It was encrusted with sapphires and they glowed in the coming dawn light. He looked up at her questioningly, trying to come up with possible reasons for this elaborate gift.
“I-I saw it and thought, ‘hey, this just screams Spike!’” Buffy said. She wrung her hands a bit and then placed them flat on her thighs. “I had this whole speech planned, but then I figures that: one, I did enough already; two, I’ll just say I love you; and three, the inscription is a way better explanation.”
Spike looked at her for a moment, wondering where she was going with this before lifting the ring and turning it to see what it read.
Will you marry me?
Buffy watched as shocked blue eyes met hers. A small smile came unbidden to her face, seeing tears in his eyes and feeling her own soon coming. And, at that moment, she knew exactly what his answer was. He didn’t even have to say it. But he did. Maybe to finalize it. Make it real.
“Yes.”
Her eyes shot open at the sound of someone steadily pounding on the front door. She tilted her head to read the alarm clock she now needed while helping Anya out, since, for some reason, the ex-demon expected Katherine at seven thirty. It blinked four minutes to four in glaring red.
She slid out of bed slowly, slipping on a pair of slippers and leaving the room. She padded down the hallway, stubbing her toe on the coffee table.
There was a steady pitter-patter of rain as she moved to her front door. She undid the lock and whipped it open. “What the hell-“
She paused. In her doorway stood Buffy, soaked to the bone, strands of hair clinging to her forehead, clothes sticking to her skin. She was shivering and Katherine could tell it wasn’t from the cold, a damp sheet of paper clamped tightly in her hand.
“Buffy, what happened?” she asked, stepping back for the slayer to enter.
Buffy walked in, her body completely numb. “He left.” She said after a minute. Her voice held a tone as if she just believed it. She turned to Katherine. “He really left.”
“Spike?” Katherine guessed.
A fresh bout of tears appeared in Buffy’s eyes and she held out the sheet of paper. She took deep breaths to calm herself, to tell herself that she shouldn’t have been surprised. That they all leave. And that Spike was no different.
Katherine read the note. And, for a quick moment, her eyes flashed lavender. She looked at Buffy. “I’ll go get dressed.”
She went into her bedroom, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a large T-shirt. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and grabbed her keys off the dresser, dropping them in her pocket.
Buffy was standing by the door as Katherine came back into the room like a tornado. She tied her hair up into a bun and gave Buffy a meaningful look.
“We’re going to find your fiancé.”
Katherine entered the bar like she owned it. And she could. With enough effort. She headed straight for the bartended, knowing he’d tell her where her friend was.
“Uh, hi. Spike in the back?”
He nodded and she headed towards the back. She had no idea what she’d say, and it had taken her an hour to find him; he’d hid himself well. There were no niceties. Katherine interrupted the game, telling everyone to get the hell out and leaving her and Spike alone.
“What happened?” she asked calmly. She didn’t understand. She’d thought they’d be happy. That they’d be together and she could leave, unnoticed and relieved that Spike finally had what he deserved. That’s what she seemed to live for anyway these days. Spike.
“Does it matter?”
He’s been asking that a lot lately, Katherine thought. And she knew he heard it. “Yes,” she answered, her voice rising a bit in anger.
And she was. Angry. She finally saw it. Buffy didn’t deserve this. She hadn’t deserved Katherine’s harshness, hadn’t deserved everyone dying, everyone leaving, and Spike was the last-
“Why?” Spike asked. And he truly needed an answer. For two months he’d been surrounded by planning, and more planning. Frankly, he didn’t care if the bridesmaid dresses were peach or light pink. Not as long as Buffy was still walking down the aisle towards him.
“Because I care.”
Spike looked up from Katherine to see Buffy enter and his heart broke in two to see that the pain he knew she felt, he’d caused. But…he couldn’t help it.
“Because…I love you and you love me. And that’s all that should matter.” Buffy continued and Katherine left, deciding to stay out for a change and sitting at the bar for a drink.
“It isn’t.”
“How about you tell me what matters, then? Why would you do this to me, six hours before our wedding?” Buffy asked, her voice pained, her brows scrunched in confusion.
“I can’t tell you. Not even sure myself. I just know that I can’t.”
Buffy looked at Spike hard. Not seeing anything to betray his emotions, what he said. There was nothing to show that, yes, he wanted her. He wanted her so badly it hurt. He wanted her forever. He wanted to marry her, he wanted to love her, hug her, kiss her, hold her, laugh and smile with her and do it freely. But he didn’t do big and extravagant and he couldn’t find a way to tell her.
She stepped back, nodding, “Fine. Wedding’s…wedding’s off. Got what you want now, right?”
“This isn’t what I want.”
“But it’s what you’re letting happen, right?” she asked. Not another word came from her, resolving not to cry. She always remembered that saying, the one where the man that deserved your tears would never make you cry. And that was a load of bullshit. Because she felt it. She knew Spike deserved this, her. And she was two second away from crying a river that would make the Mississippi look like a puddle.
She left the room swiftly, by passing Katherine. The blonde immortal noticed, hopping off the stool and grabbing Buffy’s arm. “Buffy-“
“Get off of me.” Her voice was low, dangerous, as she pulled away. “It’s your fault. You said happy. I asked you and you said we’d be happy! And I don’t see it! You lied!”
Katherine stumbled back, stunned as the slayer left the bar quickly. Spike left soon after, trying to avoid her notice, but Katherine followed, already knowing what was happening. And she’d spent all of three seconds before it clicked inside of her why it was happening.
“Wedding’s off.” Spike said, stopping and turning to face her. “You can stop now.” The last thing he needed was Katherine telling him how wrong it was, how stupid it was, and how he needed to find Buffy and tell her what was wrong. He already knew all that and the last thing he wanted at the moment was a bloody echo.
“No. I actually can’t.” Katherine said. “I’m not stupid, Spike. You’re scared. Scared that, that you and Buffy aren’t forever, that you won’t last. And I get it. Your love life hasn’t been so stellar. There’s nothing to be proud of. And I didn’t help so much with that. But you’re letting her go.”
“So, what, now you’re an empath too?” Spike asked sarcastically. “Do wonders ever cease?” he turned to walk away.
“No, I’ve just known you long enough.”
Spike stopped and slowly turned to face Katherine. “What could you possibly know that makes you so special?”
“I know that you don’t want to do this. I also know that it’s about the wedding itself. Not really your taste, is it? And…this isn’t about me.” Spike rolled his eyes disbelievingly. “I’m serious. I’m not in this equation. Not anymore. I took myself out of it purposely. Because I knew you didn’t want to hurt me by choosing Buffy.” Katherine said, quickly getting her point across.
“She loves you. Loves you enough to come to me and ask me to take her and Willow to sodding Europe so that she could get you the perfect ring, just like you spent hours trying to get that cross. The one with the rubies because you figured that they would look good on her. You love her. You know you do. And somewhere you know that this can’t not work out.”
“And what if it doesn’t work out, Kat? What am I supposed to do when what we expected our lives to be don’t turn out that way and we just keep deluding ourselves?”
Katherine looked at Spike. Really looked at him. And she couldn’t blame him. She couldn’t act like she was above him. This entire situation bothered her, though. Bothered her because, unlike everything else, she couldn’t fix it. It had to work out on its own.
“I…” she said this softly, any anger or disappointment she may have felt wiped out of her. “I can’t make the decision for you. I’ve done enough of that. Hell I can’t even make you think that one word that comes out of my mouth is good advice to follow. All I can say is that, even if you feel like you’ll fail Buffy, she believes in you to be everything she could ever want. Everything she needs. It doesn’t matter whether you’re getting married in a dusty, stinky alley, or at the Hilton. She’ll still be walking down the aisle. To you. And, it’s up to you. Because, this once, it’s really up to you.” She turned and walked away, thinking that, if she knew Spike as well as she claimed she did, he’d do what she expected. The right thing for him.
Spike watched her, making a decision. His own decision. No ultimatums. No choices made for him. He’d been left to decide. And, by the time Katherine was indistinguishable from the rain, he’d made it.
Buffy smiled at the group of people that stood before her. They looked ready. Ready for a war. And the slayer was prepared to start it. Prepared to bring aggression to a whole new level. She was ready, and she turned her back on the crowd behind her.
A blonde in the crowd looked at the brunette next to her. “Gonna tell Spike you’re here?”
“Nah.” Stacy Lynn said to Katherine. “I figure it’s more dramatic if the world’s ending.”
Katherine didn’t reply, Buffy’s yells for everyone to get ready distracting her. She watched Cordelia crack her knuckles and Dawn stretch, raising an eyebrow in amusement.
They were all ready when the volley of Buffy’s bouquet flew through the air. Cordelia leapt in the air, missing the plastic-and-fabric flowers by mere inches. Others dived for it, almost reaching it.
And then, Stacy Lynn only raised her arm in a gesture and caught the bouquet without trying. She looked at it in surprise and turned to Katherine, wide-eyed. Mainly because no one even knew she and Gunn were there and they’d planned on keeping it that way.
Without a second thought, the brunette vampire tossed the plastic at Katherine, who grabbed it in surprise as the vampire raced out, grabbing Gunn from a corner on her way.
Everyone applauded her and she had to respect the irony that the person who wasn’t thinking about marriage caught it. Then, she secretly thought she’d have to kill Stacy Lynn the next time she saw her.
“Is this going to be a cry fest?” Cordelia asked. “If it is, I’m going now.”
Cordelia, Buffy, Tara, Willow, Dawn, Anya, Katherine and Fred stood in a semi-circle, mostly talking about Katherine catching the bouquet. Each time, she continuously protested that she didn’t catch it because of Buffy. Then Buffy asked whose it was and when Katherine wouldn’t answer, they came to the conclusion that Katherine was lying.
“I think I’m going to push off. Take another vacation.” Katherine commented lightly.
“Is that a hobby or something?” Dawn asked.
“Nope. Just something about being in a country where they don’t speak English. Might try a demonic dimension or two.”
“Are you going to talk to Spike first?” Buffy asked. She didn’t know what happened after she left, how she pulled this off. But an hour before Spike called her, Katherine and told her to get ready for her wedding. And here she was, married, talking to her friends, and it was like the past twenty-four hadn’t happened. But they had.
“I have this thing. I don’t say good bye. If I say goodbye, that makes it final.” Katherine said, grinning a bit.
“And you don’t like final.” Fred guessed accurately.
“Well, since you all seem to understand so well…there are no arguments as to me leaving now.” A perfectly arched eyebrow lifted, daring anyone to tell her she couldn’t leave.
“Plan on coming back?” Willow asked. These past few months with Katherine had been…interesting to say the least and she had no doubt that when she returned, trouble would follow her.
“No doubt about it. For one, I have a nice penthouse apartment I won’t give up. And two, I have a few friends in California, so I might have a few reasons to come back.”
Buffy smiled at the demi-god. “I think you’ll be back in five months.”
“Oh, really?” Katherine asked, a slight smirk on her face. “What makes you so sure?”
“Friend’s intuition.”
“You see Kat around here?” Spike asked Angel in passing.
Angel frowned. “She left a few minutes ago.” He saw the look on Spike’s face at that and came to the obvious conclusion. “Still not saying goodbye?”
“No. You’d think she could’ve at least tell me she was leaving without saying goodbye.”
“She talked to the girls for a while.” Angel added helpfully.
Spike dismissed the topic, switching one that was more interesting than Katherine’s inability to say goodbye. “How’s it going with the ex-cheerleader?”
“If I answered that, it’d be telling.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “That’s the point, Peaches.”
“Hey, Spike!” Dawn called out to him as he passed her, on his way to take a few pictures with Buffy and other members of the party.
Spike stopped, turning back to her as she held up a slip of paper. “What’s that?”
“A note. From Katherine. I think she would’ve given it to you, but she had to go.” Dawn said, handing it to him. “I’ll tell the photographer to hold up for a while.”
She left him alone has he unfolded the note. It wasn’t a slip of paper like he thought, but a reception napkin with water blotches all over it.
He dropped in a seat, reading the note repeatedly as if to make sense out of the words, understand where Katherine was coming from, what she’d been thinking. Around the fourth time, he realized it wasn’t possible.
William.
Good Luck. I mean that. I’m watching you and Buffy trade two really big pieces of cake and it’s kind of sweet. Except, I think I’m the bitter part of this moment. You know, bittersweet? Anyway, I’m not gone forever. You know that. And, I think that’s what bothered you the most before. That I might be gone forever by “letting go”. But I won’t ever leave, Will. I love you. I’m not sure if it’s like what you and Buffy have. I’m not going to compare. I feel…better, you know. Actually saying-well, writing, it. That I love you. I mean. The pretext has always been there, but now it’s really there. But, I’m going away. Try to get…centered. Calm. Deal. Mostly. Get over it. Plus, there’s this penthouse. I love that penthouse. I’m not letting anyone else live there, either. See you in five months, if you listen to Buffy.
Have fun. Be married.
The water is from tears of joy, okay? Joy. Don’t let dust in my eyes bring you down.
Katherine.