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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks maryperk and blondiebear :o)

Oh, and the lyrics italicized were rewritten by me to fit my storyline change.
“Heart Strings”


Buffy wasn’t sure if it was against her better judgment, or was her better judgment avoiding Spike for the past three days. She knew that the whole waltz thing was mostly a distraction on his part, which she gladly fell into, but when she walked home that night, she still had a few doubts about the whole “chip is now officially busted” thing. She didn’t know what to say to him, exactly. So she figured by not seeing him, she didn’t have to. It saddened as well as worried her. Saddened, because she missed him and his company. Worrying, because she had no idea what he had been up to. The Slayer part of her suspected something devious, and that he was merely biding his time, but friend Buffy told Slayer Buffy to just shut the hell up and get over herself. Plus, Spike was way impatient. Waiting wasn’t his thing. But, when all the singing began going on around the town, she thought that maybe he’d have some useful info, and it would be a legitimate reason to see him and still avoid the whole chip issue.

After opening the crypt door, a small, pleased smile graced her face. She noticed that for the evening, he had gone all curly.

“Sun sets and she appears. Come to serenade me?”

“So you know what’s going on?”

“Seen some damn funny things the last two days. 600 pound Chirago demon makin’ like Yma Sumac. That one will stay with you. I remained immune, happy to say. Drink?” He asked, holding up a bottle.

“A world of no. So, any ideas on what’s causing this?”

“So, that’s all you came for then? We’re just gonna ignore the fact that you haven’t been by here the past few days, or patrolling with me. Surprised you weren’t out and about following me, thinking I might do something dastardly and evil. Well sorry to disappoint, Slayer. Not in the mood for twenty questions.” He said, opening the door for her to leave.

“You’re all bad moody.” She said, completely ignoring everything he just said. That was Buffy for ya- Queen of Avoidance. Shaking his head with a roll of his eyes, he gave an exasperated sigh. He could feel something taking control of him, and he began to desperately hope that she would just get up and leave before it happened.

“It’s nothing. Glad you could stop by.”

“What?” She prodded. Damn her.

“S’nothing.” And then it happened. He started to sing.


I died
So many years ago.
But you can make me feel
Like it isn't so.
And why you come to be with me
I think I finally know.
Mmm-mmm.

You're scared;
Ashamed of what you feel
And you can't tell the ones you love-
You know they couldn't deal.
Whisper in a dead man's ear
It doesn't make it real.
That's great.

But I don't wanna play.
'Cause being with you touches me
More than I can say.
Don’t let me be just dead to you;
Don’t keep me at bay.
Don’t let our friendship cease.

Let me be your beast.
My feelings run deep.
Let me give my love to you, Buffy.
My heart- you can keep.
I love to make you smile,
But your guilt- you won’t release.
Just let me be your beast.

You know, you got a willing slave.
Could drive a stake through my dead heart
Your life, I wish I’d saved.
What can I do
To get through to you?
Love I willingly gave.
Just let me be your beast.


I know I should go.
But I follow you like a man possessed.
There's a traitor here beneath my breast,
And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed.
If my heart could beat, it would break my chest.
But now you see, cause I’ve confessed.
Don’t leave, Buffy.

Let me be your beast.
My feelings run deep.
Let me give my love to you, Buffy.
My heart- you can keep.
I’d love to make you smile
But your guilt- you won’t release.
Just let me be your beast.
Why won’t you let me be your beast?

Throughout the song, they ended up in a grave, her lying on top of him. For a moment, he thought that she was going to kiss him after his declaration. Then that look of cold fear entered her eyes. She hastily got up and out of the grave, running as fast as she could. Hell, she might as well have been screaming too. Even so, he poked his head up and asked to her rapidly retreating form, “So, you’re not staying then?”

Bloody, soddin’ hell! A guy spills his guts out, and what does he get? A deer caught in the headlights look, and she just runs away. How could she not say anything?

“Damn it!” Spike yelled, kicking off the top part of a head stone as he stormed back to his crypt. The first thing he did when he got there was slick his hair back again.

“Curls are for ponces. And I for one am not one. But I guess it’s so easy for her to forget that, huh? I am still the Big Bad, and I deserve some bloody respect! Oh, why’d she have to hear me sing that song?” Feeling quite torn between helping the Slayer or finding out whatever beastie was making the town burst into song, or pretending for the evening that Buffy didn't even exist, with a frustrated growl, he decided to head back out and help her. Besides, knocking a few heads together always made him feel better.

In less than an hour, he found a demon resembling a large puppet. Considering that it was weird and wicked suspicious, even though it was Sunnydale after all, he slapped the puppet around a bit until he began to sing a song about his master having Dawn in captivity. The puppet man didn’t resist Spike as he brought him to the Magic Box. When confronted with the Slayer however, there was no song. All he did was talk in a very monotonous tone.

”Well, if that’s all you have to say then-" With a burst of strength the puppet man hadn’t used on Spike earlier when he first found him, he harshly pushed Spike out of the way before fleeing.

“Strong. Maybe someday he’ll be a real boy.” Spike listened to the Scoobies and the Watcher, becoming ever shocked and pissed as all hell. They all were just gonna abandon Buffy?! Just like that! Well, he surely wouldn’t.

“Forget them, Slayer. I’ve got your back.” She looked at him with sad eyes.

“No, Spike. I need to do this alone.” And I so don’t wanna burst into song around you… He slicked his hair back again. He so did that just to spite me! Damn him.

He couldn’t believe it! The only one who would stay by her side- help her, and she just pushes him away? Oh, they were “friends,” huh? Yea bloody right! She still wasn’t over the whole chip thing. Or the fact that he accidentally confessed his love to her- again. In a song no less. Damn, meddling, musical controlling demon.

“Fine. I hope you dance till you burn. You and the little bit.”

Buffy hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings. She really hadn’t. But Spike would be nothing but a distraction. Okay, that wasn’t completely true, but she just couldn’t deal with him right now. I mean, if I burst into song, he might find out how I really felt. I don’t even know how I really feel. Though hearing him sing again- that would be a real treat. He has an amazing voice... Buffy, wanting to take no chances, decided to walk alone.

But soon after she got there and began her song, the Scoobies came. She wasn’t sure if it was unfortunate or not, for she knew that eventually in her song that she would reveal the truth of where she had been. As she sang the words “There was no pain; no fear nor doubt. Till they pulled me out- of Heaven. I think I was in Heaven.” Seeing the expressions of shock and grief on their faces, she no longer cared. It felt freeing saying that aloud to them. And what did it matter anyway? She soon after began dancing, so fast, she felt as if she were caught on fire. It won’t take long. She began to dance, faster, and faster, and faster and- she stopped. Spike. He stopped her.

Spike had shown up a little bit after Buffy, but before the Scoobies. At first he was going to help her kill the puppet demons, but she needed no help. Besides, the last thing he wanted was to burst into song again, asking her to forgive him for being such a git. Yea, right. And he ached for her, as she sang about Heaven to her friends. It must’ve been awful hard for her to say it to them. Even though, she probably had no control over herself. But when she started to dance herself into oblivion, probably hoping she was on her way back to Heaven instead of Hell, and he saw that not one of the damned Scoobies were going to do anything to stop her, he stepped in, with a song in his heart.

“You have to go on living. So one of us is living.” She looked sad, and yet relived at the same time seeing him there. She let him stroke her hair. She let him be close. And just when it looked like she might consider kissing him, the red demon named Sweet decided to break the moment. Bastard.

And who was the bloody cause of all this? Harris; of course he'd be the cause of all this wonkiness. Idiot.

And then the big group sing. God, what was with this? Damn Sweet was gone, why were they still singing? Luckily, Spike bumped into a pillar, breaking the spell for him.

Thank god. “Bugger this.”

Buffy, seeing Spike leave, willed herself to stop singing. She needed to talk to him. Damn the risk of singing a song to him. She didn’t want him to walk away [from her]. She followed him out to the alley.

“Spike-"

“You should go back in with the rest, Slayer. Finish the big, group sing; get your ‘koom by ya ya’s’ out.” Just go back Buffy to your lil' friends, whom you desperately seek approval.

“Spike.” Just let me talk to you.

“Look, the day you suss out what you do want, I’m sure there’ll be a parade- 76 bloody trombones.” Oh god, feels like I'm gonna sing again. Just walk away, Spike. Dammit!

“Spike-" Just shut up and let me speak! Geeze!

“Look, Slayer-" Get out; I have get out now before-

“I touch the fire and it freezes me.” Listen to me.

“I died, so many years ago.” Look at her. God, she's beautiful. Sod singing the song. She's talking to me. She just wants to be with me.

“This isn’t real. But I just wanna feel.” Understand now?

“But you can make me feel.” 'Isn't real?' Oh, who bloody cares.

And then it happened- not only did they sing together, but their first, real kiss. And the bloody singing spell didn’t make her do it either. And somewhere, he could here the trumpets blasting for them.

Buffy let herself go and kissed him, and enjoyed it immensely. God, I don’t remember him being this good a kisser. She felt light headed, in a good way. And just to think, that several minutes ago, she was ready to literally dance herself to death. Her closest friends, her sister, and Giles, who was like a father to her, had not even attempted to stop her. No one but Spike. And suddenly, she didn’t care about his busted chip, or his love for her. She thought idly to herself that maybe, just maybe, she was could fall in love with him too someday...

TBC





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