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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to Jeanie, Dihcar, and cordykitten.

WARNING- deals with a sensitive subject, that I won't disclose here. But I'm sure the warning in the summary sums it up. Nothing too graphic though, so I'm hoping its not a problem. Thanks.
"That lousy, soul ridden bastard!" Darla yelled to herself, punching a hole in the wall. "He left me, again."

"Not to worry, my sweet. He will soon have to take care of you. But now he has to help my William."

"Take care of me? What the hell are you talking about, Dru? I can damn well take care of myself, and you."

"Shh. Don't want to ruin it. Daddy's left a surprise for us all..." She said ominously as she stared at Darla's flat belly.

*******

Much arguing and bitching (from both parties) occurred before Angel finally left a majorly pissed off Darla and headed back home. After having some time away from the whole situation, he decided to support Buffy and (although reluctantly) Spike and their decisions. He was going to feign happiness for them. Nah. That would be too hard. Indifference would be his plan of action. As soon as he walked through the door, the scents of blood and fear assaulted his senses.

"Angel, where were- "

"Where's Buffy? Is she okay?" Angel said, interrupting Fred.

"Sorry man. They took her to the hospital." Gunn explained. Without a second thought, Angel made a mad dash to his car and sped to the hospital.

*******

The doctors decided to try and stop a premature delivery. They put Buffy in a Trendelenburg bed, elevating her hips and feet in an attempt to counter the pull of gravity on the baby. But the doctors soon realized that the bed wasn't enough. The contractions were too strong. They hoped to prolong the delivery for forty-eight hours to give a drug called betamethasone a chance to speed up the development of her baby's lungs. They also gave her another drug called Brethine to slow down the contractions. It was Buffy's only hope of holding the baby in the uterus, and every additional hour improved the baby's chance of survival. In spite of the drugs, the doctors did not make there forty-eight hour goal. Instead, fifteen hours later, Joy Anne Summers was brought into the world.

******

I was in a daze. I remember the doctor saying "It's a girl," and then a whole bunch of strangers taking my baby away. As I stared up at the bright, ceiling lights, I began to cry. I wanted my baby; I wanted Spike; I wanted my mom and Giles. But I was left alone with questions of where was my baby? What were they doing to her? Is she all right? When can I see her...

There was no absolute reassurance from the doctors and nurses. It was always "We're doing the best we can." Other than that, they mostly ignored me. A few minutes later, they gave me only a brief glimpse of her to last me the next twenty-four hours. The doctor folded down the flap of the blanket for no more than two seconds before taking her away to the nursery. One of the nurses informed me that Spike would be allowed to follow. This brought me some comfort, but I wanted to be with her myself. Two seconds just didn’t come even close to enough.

******

A girl. I had a lil' girl. They said Buffy was fine and needed her rest, and I knew she would want me to watch our baby. At first I was terrified. In addition to my own fears, my daughter was now hooked up to a bunch of wires and a tube inside of an incubator. But they were just for monitoring her and a respiratory aid. No worries, right?

She was so tiny, incredibly so. But she was beautiful all the same. Pink all over, with fine blond eyebrows and very little hair on her head. My nibblet. A little bit of Buffy, and a little bit of me. I’m someone’s father.

I wanted to see her eyes. I just knew that if only I could look into her eyes, then she would be okay, somehow...

******

"Angel? What are you doing here?" Buffy asked tiredly.

"Hey. Sorry I wasn't there to- are you all right?" He asked, hovering near the doorway.

"I'm okay. Just drained, tired, distressed, whatever. But you can come closer, you know. I don't bite." She said with a small attempt at a smile.

"Have you seen the baby yet, or Spike?" Angel thought about the conversation he had earlier with the wayward vampire. Never before had he seen him so… vulnerable. He never thought he would ever use an adjective such as that to describe Spike.

"It's all my fault."

"No, Spike. You couldn't control this."

"You're right. I can't. But see, that's the thing of it."

"What do you mean?"

"They're being punished because of me. Paying for my sins and I- I can't stop it." He finished as he turned away in what seemed in attempt of hiding his face, in shame. Angel gently grasped his shoulder and slowly turned him around. He wasn't crying, but his eyes were glazed over.

"Spike, this isn't because of you. This may not happen more often than not, but it does happen. It happens to lots of other good, decent people out there. Buffy needs you right now. She needs you to be strong." Angel said, pinning Spike with his eyes.

"But what if I can't?"

"You don't have a choice. No matter what happens- "

"I'll never leave her. Whatever happens here today... I'll always be by her side, whether she wants me there or not. I'll be strong, for her."

"And I'll be strong for you, if you let me. What's family for, right? Besides to drive you insane of course." Spike had a ghost of a smile before it disappearing altogether. Angel enveloped him in a tentative hug. Spike responded, hugging him back. After so many burned bridges, theirs was finally mended again.

"Yeah, I saw him. The doctors gave him one of those IDs and took him the nursery. He wanted me to check on you. He'll be here, though. Just wanted someone not on hospital staff to watch over the baby."

"So, he'll be here later?" She asked, eyelids drooping heavily.

"Yeah, he- " Angel stopped as Buffy fell into a peaceful sleep, knowing that the baby would be safe under Spike and Angel's watchful gaze. When she awoke sometime later, Spike was right beside her. He began to smile and lightly stroked her hair.

"Angel's keeping watch now. Everything's gonna be fine. She's getting stronger every minute. Literally you know- stabilized."

"I should explain."

" 'Bout what, luv?"

"Her name. I know it isn't what we discussed exactly, but, she's a person all her own, and needed her own name."

"I know. Besides, 'Joy' is from Joyce- "

"She is joy, to me."

"Me too. And Anne is you and my mum's middle name. Let's face it; Constance is a completely old fashioned name. Rightly so after nearly a century and a half."

"Yeah. And she'll be okay?" He squeezed her hand in reassurance.

"I promise you that. And besides, you should know better than anyone that the Summers’ women are survivors by nature. Of course she'll be fine."

******

Five Days later- Initiative


She couldn't believe this was happening to her. After awhile, her body became numb; she physically became dead to what the bitch was making the vampire do to her. If only she could close off her mind and be somewhere else.

She pretty much accepted the fact that she was never getting out
of there. No one was going to save her. But she started to think that she probably deserved punishment of some kind. But even this treatment was extreme. She might have been guilty of murder, but never torture; it wasn't right.

If only they would stop the drugs. If her mind wasn't so cloudy
maybe. No point in thinking of the impossible. It would go on for
hours. Gotta love that vampire stamina. No problem in getting it up. Especially for a weakened Slayer held hostage. He was always rough and brutal- the more aggressive the more appreciation he got from Maggie. Bitch. She would allow him to sometimes bite her, and now only fed him human blood (which he so graciously would point out before unzipping his pants and whipping it out. As if he was giving her some sort of justified explanation).

His name was Paul. He said that if she weren't so drugged, she
would be screaming his name in ecstasy. That the fuckin’ Nile would be pouring down her thighs from her being so incredibly turned on by him. He chanted “You like this cock?” as he pounded inside of her. She gazed back at him with tears in her eyes. Death would be a relief. Never had she thought of giving up, but she had to wonder: what exactly did she have to live for? No one cared about her. In fact, the people that she knew would probably jump for joy once they found out what happened.

Her mother would have been so disappointed in her. She had wanted so much more for her, but this was not to be. She screwed up as a daughter, a slayer, a friend, and as a human being. Now she disappointed herself. She let her own weakness get to her. She was never a quitter, until now.

It was only one thought that kept her sane, that gave her hope: Buffy would come. Whether it is to kick her ass or to gain some type of retribution against Maggie and the Initiative, she had to come. At least, that was what she kept telling herself.





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