Author's Chapter Notes:
I want to thank you all for the nice reviews and well wishes. I'm glad people are enjoying the story. Spike and Angel have their much needed discussion and I look forward to hearing what you think.
When Angel finally returned to the almost empty house, Spike looked up from his seat on the sofa. Buffy’s head was resting in his lap and he didn’t dare move. It was late now and there had been no news. Buffy had taken that as a very bad sign and he’d only just gotten the hysterical mother back to sleep.

“Any news?” he asked his dark haired brother who was standing in the doorway staring at his wife.

Angel didn’t answer at first, thinking about how strange it was that Spike looked so normal caring for Buffy. It hurt to look, but there was no jealousy and as painful as it was, it was right.

“Angel?” Spike queried looking at him strangely, “Are you alright?” It had occurred to him that Angel would have problems with Buffy turning to him and not her husband, but honestly he didn’t expect Angel to make an issue of it right now. Too much was going on and Buffy needed all the support she could get.

Angel had obviously come to the same conclusion, or had decided to keep his mouth shut for some other reason, because he didn’t say a word about Buffy.

“Nothing yet, they are going to call me if they get something.”

“It’s not good is it?” Spike said unsure, “I mean I’m not really a big kidnapping expert, but isn’t there normally some sort of ransom demand or something?”

“She asleep?” Angel asked pointedly, staring at Buffy.

“Yeah, dead to the world, slipped a couple of the pills the doc left into her water. She should be good for a couple of hours.”

“Okay. I don’t want her to hear this, but this guy doesn’t ask for ransoms. He’s not looking for money; he takes pleasure in hurting people, normally through children.”

Spike’s eyes narrowed as he heard this, pain shot through his heart and he waited for Angel to continue.

“He likes to take the children and then find an adult to watch as he hurts them and finally kills them. One of the first families he kept locked up in their house for a week, a mother and three young children. When he finally killed the children he left the mother alive, she’s insane and kept almost comatose in a mental health hospital now.” He shook his head slightly, “He’s a monster and he needs to die.”

Spike nodded his agreement, his face grim.

“This time he is most likely going to want me or Buffy there, so I believe that we still have time, but we need to protect Buffy.”

“That’s my job, right?” Spike asked Angel.

“Yes.” He paused for a second before continuing, “A few years ago the CIA came to talk to me, they wanted to know if I still had anything to do with you.” He looked at Spike watching for a reaction, but he was disappointed.

“They said that they believed that you were a Spook, a member of MI6 and that even if it is a member of your own family the helping of spies is treason. It wasn’t a pleasant conversation and the Special Agent in charge at the time didn’t trust me for months afterwards.”

“What did you say to them?” Spike asked, his eyes intent.

“Just that I hadn’t seen you since I was eighteen, the truth. Look I love Buffy, very much and whilst I understand that it doesn’t look that way at the moment, considering what I have done to her, the mistakes I’ve made…” He trailed off his eyes full of regrets.

“Spike, I just need to know that she is in safe hands, that you can protect her, that you do have that kind of training.”

Spike looked at his brother thoughtfully and weighed up his words. He sounded sincere and God he loved Buffy too so they already had that in common. “Yes I have that kind of training. I’m not technically a member of MI6 and I’m retired, but yes the stories they have told you are probably true.”

Angel stared at his brother in shock. He wasn’t exactly ready for that answer, despite his hopes and desire to keep Buffy safe. He simply nodded and got up to leave.

“Angel…?”

He turned back to his platinum haired brother with a questioning look in his eye.

“Was it Darla?” Spike asked. He figured that since they were finally in the same room they might as well have it out once and for all. “Was it Darla that kept you from coming back?”

“Oh Jesus.” Angel said running his hands through his hair and returning to his seat. Spike was right to bring this up and maybe, if he was open and honest, he might just get his brother back.

“Spike, I’m sorry. To start with, it was too hard to come home and then as the years passed, well… I don’t know to be honest with you. I think that if I hadn’t gone to college so quickly afterwards it would have been alright.”

“You blamed me.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes I did.” Angel’s answer drove a stake into Spike’s heart, “But I blamed myself more. It was a stupid accident; it shouldn’t have happened.”

“It wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t brought those fucking pills with me,” Spike said bitterly.

“That was Dru,” Angel stated calmly. “The pills were Dru’s and we never had any business taking them, any of us.” He paused with tears in his eyes, if only I had stopped her taking it, if only I had talked her out of it…”

“But she was very determined to try anything she hadn’t tried before.” Spike defended his brother, “I should have known better than to tell her about the way they made sex feel so much better.”

“We all fell asleep, except Darla. If only I had stayed awake, I could have kept her away from the roof.”

“Angel, we were all wasted that night; there was no way on earth that you could have stopped anything. I knew you blamed me, I thought that if I left then you might come home.”

“That’s why you went to England with Dru? Because of me?”

“Partially. I don’t know that last year of high school was no picnic for me. I got out for my own reasons too.” Spike sighed and decided to change the subject; things were depressing enough without all their deepest darkest secrets coming out as well. “Angel, find the little nibblet… Please.”

Angel nodded and jumped as his phone began to ring.





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