Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to each and everyone of you who have read this and even more thanks to those who have left reviews. You guys don't know how much it means to me that my "theropy fic" has touch so many of you.

And many thanks to a sweetheart, and one of the best friends a person could have, vamptasticA, for beta'ing this for me. I love you sweetie for so may reasons I couldn't even begin to list them all. *hugs*
Buffy tried slapping water on her face but it didn’t work worth a damn. All it did was wash away most of her makeup, making her red, blotchy face look even worse. She knew she couldn’t go back out there and face him like that, so instead she went out back, grabbed her bag, and reapplied her make up before heading back the way she came.

“I can do this. He’s only a customer,” she muttered to herself leaving the bathroom.

‘Yeah right!’ her subconscious snorted, ‘Hello, it’s Spike! Love of your life, Spike! You remember him, run away live in a cabin in the woods and have a dozen kids- SPIKE!’

Oh yeah she remembered all too well. The fact was she was having a hard enough time to keep herself from just running out there and throwing herself at him and begging him to forgive her for being the world’s biggest fool for letting him leave in the first place.

Not paying attention to what she was doing Buffy ran straight into someone. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t…” She started to apologize but her voice caught in her throat as she looked up and her heart stopped when she saw who it was.

“It’s okay, luv,” Spike said reaching out to touch her arms as she took a step back.

Seeing her this distraught was killing him.

“Look yer friend over there already let me have it for being here. If you want me to go, I’ll go.” He told her despite the fact he didn’t really want to leave not just yet.

He really wanted to talk to her for a little while first. It’d been eight long years. For most of the time he just wished he’d had the balls to find her and tell her just how much he needed her.

Shaking her head she took a big breath before answering him, “No, you came here to get something to eat. It’s not your fault that…” shaking her head again she sighed. “Look, I just….didn’t expect to see you like this.” She laughed nervously looking down at her waitress outfit.

’Yeah, not really the best impression you could have given him,’ her subconscious snorted.

Spike chuckled realizing she was worried about what she looked like. He’d been so relieved to see her again he hadn’t even noticed what she was wearing.

“Luv… Buffy,” he said reaching up to tuck a wayward strand of hair behind her ear, “It doesn’t matter…think I’ve seen you at yer worse before. This…” pausing to give her a once over, “This isn’t even close to it.” He chuckles again smiling softly at her.

Buffy blushed remembering what she’d looked like the first time she ever met him. It had been at Dru’s sleepover for her thirteenth birthday. They’d all thought they were so hip and cool. Dru’s older sister, Darla, had been given them all facials and was doing Cordy’s when the doorbell rang. They all assumed it was the pizza delivery so Dru and Buffy answered it, hair up, mud faced and all. To their surprise it wasn’t the delivery boy at all but Dru’s next door neighbor and least favorite pest at the time, Angel. But with him was the new kid, Spike. She’d been so mortified that she ran back in to the other room, leaving Dru standing there all by herself.

Laughing nervously she answered, “Well nothing’s ever come close to that day.”

Spike nodded, letting a ghostly finger brush her cheek, “Thought ya were beautiful even then.” He confessed before he realized what he was doing. Then lowered his lips to brush them over hers, giving her a soft enchanting kiss.

All Buffy could do was stare up at him as his lips drew closer and closer. She knew should pull away if not walk away all together but she couldn’t. After all this time he could still turn her in a big pile of mush with a few simple words. And when their lips met it was like she’s been reborn. He awakened in her something that she thought died so very long ago.

Wrapping his arms around her he pulled her close, just wanting to hold her like he’d wanted to do since the day he left for New York. To his relief she didn’t pull away but instead wrapped her arms around his waist and melted into him and their kiss.

Holding him tight again felt like heaven on earth to her, and his kiss… god how she could savor it for all eternity. But no sooner has those thoughts crossed her mind reality came crashing back down around her. She couldn’t have him, and she dare not even think him. If Riley even found out he’d kill her.

If he ever found them like this, kissing…. ‘Oh god, oh god…’ she thought panicking as she pushed and struggled to get free.

As she run into another room marked ‘Employees Only’ he heard her say, “I can’t do this. He’ll kill me if he ever finds out.”

As he watched her go his heart clenched, and a lump lodged in his throat. “Buffy…”he whispered. “I’ve missed ya so much…” leaning back against the wall he closed his eyes.

Whatever had possessed him to kiss her like that? He was a fool, a certifiable fool for thinking for one minute she’d still love him, want him the way he wanted her after all this time.

“He’ll kill me if he ever finds out,” her words finally registered. Who? Who’s the asshole that would ever think of hurting him Buffy? a primal part of him growled wanting heads to roll for anyone stupid enough to even think of harming her.

Grinding his teeth he stood up and headed back to the front counter where the brunettes were working. “Who!?” he demanded, “Who she so afraid of?”

Gwen turned and met Spike icy glare with one of her own. She crossed her arms over her chest before answering, “None of your damn business, William Hawthorn.”

Without warning Spike grabbed her arms pulling her to him over the counter giving her a little shake, “WHO?” he growled in her face. “It’s that Riley guy you were warning me about wasn’t it.”

From the furious look on his face she knew better than to lie to him. “Yeah, it is. He’s….” shaking her head she sighed, “He’s her husband.”

Spike couldn’t have been more surprised if she had slapped him. Letting go of her he stared dumb founded, “Her what?”

“Her husband,” Gwen restated letting a long sigh before she started telling Spike all that had happened to Buffy since he left for New York.

How she’s met Riley, how she was forced in to marrying him because of the baby that she lost soon after the wedding at the hands of Riley himself with his ‘accidental’ fall she had down a flight and half of steps.

She went on to tell him about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her half brother and of how often her and Faith had fixed her up or brought her to the hospital urging her to press charges again the bastard, and how she would start to until Riley showed up. Then all their hard work would be throw out the window and she’d leave, going home with him once again.

By the time she was done Spike was seeing red for all she’d been through, but worst of all was she went though it all practically alone.

Sure she had Faith and Gwen and even her sister- Dawn. But she didn’t have anyone to hold her at night and tell her everything was going to be alright. And he could kill Riley for everything he’d done to her. How in the world could anyone treat another person like he treated her?

“How do we get her away from him?”

Faith snorted coming back from refilling a couple of customers’ coffees. “Good luck with that one, cutie. We’ve been trying for years. Every time we think she’s gonna leave him for good something happens and he’s got his fangs right back in to her. He’s worse than a rabid pit bull.”

Cocking him head to the side he stared at her, “Yeah, well ya ain’t me luv. And ya better believe me when I say I will get her away from him.” Silently he added. “I love ‘er too much not too.”

Tbc….





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