“Buggering fuck!” Apparently sometime during the fourth taped episode of “Passions” James had fallen asleep…Could you even fall asleep in your dreams?!…but was now wide awake due to the loud outburst from Spike.
“Can’t you let a man get some sleep? Not everyone in the room’s a vampire, you know?”
“Right, whatever—just shut your gob,” Spike obviously wasn’t paying attention to what was being said to him. “What is that?!” He was pointing animatedly at the television screen.
It took James a few seconds of waking up and studying the television before he could provide an answer, “Looks to be some sort of special—that,” he pointed much more calmly to the screen, “Is D—Angel and I on the UK version of TRL.”
“Yeah, I got that,” Spike explained, sounding more than a little annoyed. “What I mean was—“
“You took it baby and you liked it!” A loud voice from the television interrupted Spike.
“You said that about Buffy!? I would never—“ Spike was starting to think that maybe this man was evil…maybe it was some sort of evil that knew everything about them and came in their form to stir up trouble. Maybe he should just kill this…thing?
“Alright so maybe it wasn’t the smartest—or nicest,” he admitted begrudgingly, looking ashamed of himself…kind of like his on screen persona was by now, “thing to say, but it was just a joke. Told Sa—Buffy that after she yelled at me for it. She knows I was just being an ass, okay?”
“Just don’t go saying anything like that to Buffy—this Buffy.”
James would have laughed at how chivalrous the vampire was acting if it wouldn’t have been really the same as laughing at himself.
“Alright, fine, I’ll be a perfect gentlemen to Buffy, now could we possible refrain from any loud outbursts until its time to go find Willow?”
“Sure; soon as you answer my question, that is.”
“What question?” James was quickly getting tired of Spike and thinking that perhaps it was good he’d never had a twin brother. He’d have probably sent him to live with the Circus or whatever it was kids did.
“What,” he asked, “Is that?”
“What was what?” The vampire really needed some more comfortable furniture; this chair that he’d pulled from the cobwebs of the lower level just wasn’t cutting it.
“You and the…Going to sound far too much like the bit here I’m sure, but: what’s with the shirt?”
“It’s a great shirt—suede from Italy,” he knew he was getting defensive but he was tired of people ragging on that shirt.
“Right,” Spike said disbelievingly.
“Like you’re an expert in fashion; you wear one fucking color all but every day.”
“You forget I’ve seen you—maybe just a few clips here and there, but you’re not exactly a fashionista, mate.”
“Fashionista? Are you a fifteen-year-old girl?!”
“No, but I know—listen I told you I was going to sound like the bit, doesn’t make my point any less valid. There is something wrong with your choice in clothing and whatever world it is, I’m not going to stand for someone making me look like a ponce or….You look like a bloody mobster pimp!”
“I do not!”
“Yeah sure you don’t. Listen here, mate. I may be a bit into the monochromatic look—“ No, he was not going to admit that he’d read some of the Slayer and Dawn’s fashion magazines the previous summer; he just wasn’t. “—But even I…You see Jimmy boy, shirts have these things called buttons, yeah? And even in suede shirts from Italy,” the tone he used let James know just what he thought of the shirt, “Generally have them going all the way up. Makes you look…like an actual, law abiding person when you choose to use some of those buttons.”
“I don’t believe this! I’m getting fucking fashion advice from a fictional character….that I played! I have clearly gone off the deep end.”
“Yeah, yeah, say whatever you want. You know I’m right.”
“I’ll think about it,” James said, hoping that he’d now figured out the point of the dream and would finally be able to wake up.
“You look pretty good in those t-shirts you know; maybe you should give them a try more often.”
“What?” Obviously he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight; his vampire alter-ego was a little too talkative for that.
“You should stick with the whole t-shirt and jeans thing more often, suits you and all.”
“What are you, my wardrobe consultant? And why are you still watching that? Thought you said knowing things about the other worlds would throw this one for a loop.” James still didn’t recognize the television channel Spike was watching but figured with everything else going on not only did that make sense, but it should really have been the least of his worries.
“Hey, hundred twenty years without a reflection and a bloke gets curious what he looks like; have to take it while I can get it.”
“Still doesn’t explain your goal to be my personal shopper.”
“Just thought I’d give you some advice is all.”
“Yeah, well save the advice for how to get me back home.”
“Please tell me I’m not this much of an ass.”
“I am not—“
“Oh save it cowboy. I’m just trying to help and you’re over there snapping my head off.”
“Well maybe I just don’t like the idea that I’ve quite possible gone literally insane and am now going to be delusional for the rest of my life. And am, apparently, never going to get a wink of sleep either.”
“Relax, mate, there’re worse places to be. Could be in….well, you…” Spike tried quickly to think of somewhere worse than the Hellmouth but when he got to thinking about it, once you took Buffy out of the picture, the town didn’t have much going for it if you weren’t of the evil, possibly undead variety. “Let’s just say there are worse places you could be.”
James didn’t answer for a minute but when he did Spike could see the pain on his face and knew there was something the man wasn’t telling him, “Yeah, sure…Let’s just focus on getting me home, okay?”
“Sun’ll be up soon, you sleep till then. Then we can go see Red and Glinda,” Spike finally caught on that maybe this wasn’t as easy for the man as he’d originally thought and took a bit of pity on him. “I’ll keep quiet; make sure I remember what I look like and all—got to say though, think I’m gonna keep the hair.”
“You should. And thanks.”
“No worries, mate.”
TBC.......please review...I coudl do with some niceness today ;-)
and this site was down (at least for me) quite a bit on Tuesday...and I updated late so if anyone missed the update of Silently Broken...well, go un-miss it :-)