Disclaimer : Joss Whedon owns the characters. Atleast most of them. I’m continuing the story which didn’t end when he finished. Just want to have an ending.
“Is anyone going to explain what you saw?” Giles started the conversation in the library. Spike has gone back to his room with the help of Andrew and Buffy. He protested initially but Buffy kept her hold strong, he finally gave up. After settling him in his room, both of them returned to the library to have a chat with the rest.
“Spike was tortured by a Soul Torturer.” Willow answered Giles’ question.
“Oh Dear.” Giles reacted to the response.
“What? What? What does that mean?” Dawn was starting to panic.
“His soul was tortured with emotions. His worst nightmares played as if they were true. He was emotionally broken by the torture.” Buffy explained it to her sister. She didn’t want to keep any secrets with her anymore.
“So what do we do? We can help him right?” Dawn questioned.
“I don’t know Dawn. I don’t know how to help him. It was really horrible. Apparently all who loved him was there to torture him. That includes you and me too.” Buffy said controlling her emotions. She needs to be strong for her sister and Spike.
“Is there any spell to make him forget all that Giles?” Willow questioned the Watcher. Giles was thinking for a solution but he failed to come up with any answers.
“I assume the souls usually give up and die. Since Spike is a vampire, his soul was tortured more than humans.” Giles explained his thoughts to the rest.
“Isn’t there anything we can do?” Dawn asked impatiently. She needs Spike to be cured and back as himself. She didn’t want to see him suffer anymore.
“Only thing we could do is to convince him that it was just a nightmare. But I’ve read about these tortures and I don’t think it is a simple task.”
“I’ll try to convince him first.” Buffy came forward. “He will listen to me whether he likes it or not.”
“No Buffy.” Angel protested. “This is too dangerous. Spike is thinking of you as enemy now. He may have become William the bloody if his soul has given up. Even with his weak strength, he may be able to kill you. I know that for sure.”
“I know he will not hurt me. I know whatever he believes; his love for me is still there. I can feel it. He will listen to me. But I need all of you not to interfere whatever happens in that room.” Buffy stated looking everyone in the eyes for confirmation. Most of them agreed but Angel didn’t seem to agree.
“Angel?” Buffy raised her voice.
“Ok. But if there is any danger, give a call and I’ll be there.” He half-heartedly agreed.
“I doubt it. But I’ll keep it in my mind.” With that, Buffy moved towards Spike’s room. She opened the door and went inside. She saw the room was just the way it was but Spike have got off the bed and crawled to the corner again. She locked the door and moved towards Spike.
“Go Away.” Spike hissed.
“No. You must listen to me now.” Buffy protested.
“Why? I am nothing to you. Why do you care? Go be with Immortal. Go live your bloody life.” Spike was arguing like a child now.
“Yes. I can be with Immortal. I can live my life back at Rome. Then why am I still here? Why am I trying to talk to you when you don’t want to talk to me?” Buffy questioned him.
Spike looked at her as if she was crazy. Buffy chuckled at his raising eyebrow expression. She has missed him and his looks for so long; she didn’t want to leave him ever again. She moved forward and kneeled down in front of him looking him in the eyes. Spike looked at her and he didn’t see any hatred or anger. Instead, he saw love and passion there. He was confused by her mixed emotions.
Buffy tried to hold his hands but he struggled. She didn’t give up and finally he relaxed still keeping his eyes fixed with hers.
“You listen to me this time. I didn’t have to go through hell to bring you back. I didn’t have to cry my eyes out for you every time I see you get tortured. I went through it all and I will do it again to get you back. Do you know why?”
“Because you wanted to torture me more?” Spike said meekly.
“No damn it. It’s because I love you. I will always love you. You are everything I want and I will do anything just to have you beside me.” Buffy confessed.
“So what do you want me to do this time? How do you want me to sacrifice myself for those foolish words you tend to use on me? I will do it regardless but I think it would be easier for me to know it is a lie than believe it is the truth.” Spike shot back without showing his emotions.
“I know what you heard from me earlier may seem real but it isn’t. That wasn’t me. I never said those words out of courtesy. You know me better than that. I loved you and I still love you. I was afraid to admit my feelings and when you were dying, I knew I had to tell you.” Buffy continued to talk openly. She didn’t want to hide her feelings anymore.
Spike looked at her with a glint of hope. Then he dismissed his feelings as foolish hope. “So you are asking me to believe that you really loved me back then and you still love me now? And whatever I heard was all a dream?” He saw Buffy nod her head and he fell back on the floor laughing.
Buffy looked at him thinking whether he has gone completely mad. When she saw him get up and sat back, she got a smile on her face looking at Spike. His face was showing some feelings other than hate and disgust this time.
“So you expect me to believe that? To be honest luv, I think this is the dream and that is the reality.”
Buffy didn’t reply back to him. Instead she took hold of his face and kissed him softly in his lips. He didn’t kiss back but he didn’t pull back either. She kissed him for a moment and then pulled back to look at his face. His eyes were closed and he did not open it still.
“Spike? What’s wrong?” Buffy asked.
“I’m savoring this dream. Don’t want to wake up from it.”
“It is not a dream Spike. It is real. I’m here and I’m not going to leave you ever. Not even if you try to leave me.”
Spike slowly opened his eyes to look at her. He saw honesty and love in her face. He relaxed and when she tried to hold his hand, he didn’t resist.
“Spike. I love you more than anyone I can think of. You need to understand that. You don’t know how much it hurt me when you didn’t accept it that day on Hellmouth. I was finally admitting it and you rejected it. And when I heard you were alive, I thought you didn’t love me anymore. Please don’t tell me it’s true.” Buffy looked at him pleadingly.
“I don’t know if this is a dream or not, but whatever it is, I will love you always. Even if you are treating me like you used to, it cannot take my love away from you pet. You should know that by now.” Spike said it honestly.
Buffy was showing pure happiness and joy in her face at his declaration and calling her by his pet name. Happy tears were pouring out of her eyes like waterfall. Spike raised his hand to brush them off her cheeks. She leaned into his hand and rested her cheek in them. Spike looked at her with the same love he used to have. He still believed it was a dream but as long as it’s there, he was going to enjoy it.
He reached out with both his hands and pulled Buffy into an embrace. He wanted to feel her and when she pulled him closer with all her strength, he felt good.
“You have no idea how much I missed you pet.” He spoke softly close to her ears.
“Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you let me know that you were alive?” She asked him the question that has been bothering her all this time.
“At first, I couldn’t. I was stuck as a ghost. When I corporeal again, I tried but there was an emergency here, I had to be here. After that, I got afraid. I remembered the last words you spoke in Hellmouth. I wanted to believe it luv; trust me on that. But I couldn’t believe it completely. I mean how can you really love me? And I didn’t want you telling me it was not true. I was happy to live with the illusion that you meant it. But then…” Spike remembered about his trip to Rome. He remembered about Buffy moving onto Immortal. He quickly pushed her away from his embrace.
Buffy was confused. She was enjoying the feeling of him and remembering how it felt to be in his embrace. She was barely listening to him and when he suddenly pulled away, she didn’t know why. She quickly recaptured his words in her mind.
“And then what?” She questioned him.
Spike looked at her hard in her eyes. “Is this reality or is it an illusion?” He suddenly asked.
Buffy was more confused. “I told you Spike. This is the reality.”
“So you are still with Immortal. Living your happy life in Rome?” Spike questioned her.
Then Buffy realized the reason for Spike’s action. “Spike… I” before Buffy could finish, Spike interrupted.
“You don’t have to explain. You have moved on and have a nice relationship with that poncy. I don’t need an explanation. I am just from the past. You go live your life with the present.”
“Will you let me explain?” Buffy burst out in anger. Spike’s interruption and accusation got her frustrated.
Spike sat back silently crossing his arms and looking at her intently.
Buffy lowered her gaze. “I know you came to Rome with Angel and saw me with Immortal. And I know Andrew told you I was all happy with Immortal. But to tell the truth, I wasn’t. I was mourning for your death for a long time; all my friends were worried about me. They wanted me to live my life. So I decided to pretend that I was happy with someone so that they can stop worrying about me.”
Looking at Spike’s unconvinced face, she continued. “I was not in love with him. I was in love with you. I didn’t even know I loved you so much until you d… were gone in Hellmouth. If only you have called me before, I think I could have avoided being with him.” She couldn’t say the word ‘died’ because it brought too much of painful memories for her.
After some silence, Spike started to talk. “You know that I have a history with him right?” When he saw Buffy shake her head ‘No’, he continued to explain. “Immortal stole Darla and Drusilla from me and Angelus once. We both hated him ever since then. But it was nothing compared to seeing you with him that night.” Buffy gave him a sad guilty look and he quickly changed his tone. “I’m not accusing you anything luv. It’s just that it is kind of hard for me to accept that Immortal have touched you too.” Buffy nodded her head to let him know she understood him.
“It’s ok Spike. Don’t worry. I’m not leaving you at all. You can take all the time you need and I’ll be right here with you.”
“And where does the poncy fall in all this?” he asked.
“Immortal and I were not in a serious relationship. It wasn’t even a relationship. It was more like comforting and entertaining. I doubt it he will be bothered about me gone. He might have called my place and since I’m here, he would have found someone else by now.” Buffy answered convincingly.
“And that doesn’t disturb you?” Spike questioned.
“When the reason for me needing him is right here in front of me, why would I be concerned about someone else ignoring me?” Buffy answered him with her own question. Spike smirked at her reply and she had a grin in her face too. She reached back and kissed him again in the lips. This time, Spike responded by capturing her lips with his own.
Both of them kissed for a while. Softly at the beginning turning into a passionate one. Buffy broke the kiss panting and both of them looked at each other in the eyes. They knew nothing have changed between them in all this time. Buffy pulled him up and he allowed her to help him walk back to the hall.
A/N : Spike is back with the team now. But what is happening with W&H? Continue to read to know about it. PLEASE REVIEW.
TBC
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for all the great reviews. I dedicate this chapter to spikesangel, PhotographyNut and all the other faithful readers and reviewers. This is the chapter you all have been waiting for eagerly. Hope it satisfies your expectations. Read through and leave your comments. More chapters coming up. PLEASE REVIEW