Chapter Six

Need You

Buffy called in sick on Monday, hoping to avoid Spike. She knew it was crazy, but she did not want to see him, and she would go to great lengths to make that happen. Or so she thought. If she could put it off any longer, she would, but she couldn’t. Eventually she had to go back. Maybe she’ll tell him to find another diner. His business was no longer wanted or needed. Who was she kidding? She missed him like crazy. In the few days that they had been together, she’d been the most happy. Free to do whatever she wanted. Free to feel whatever she wanted. She liked that. She liked him too. A lot.

She was brought out of her thoughts by the phone ringing. She hated the fact that she didn’t have caller ID and noted to herself to beg her mother for that. Doesn’t everybody have that? She thought so. So why couldn’t they? She rolled over on her bed and picked up the phone, but didn’t say anything.

“Yo B? You there? Dawn, if this is you …” Faith started.

“It’s me.” Buffy sighed.

“Hey. Why aren’t you at work? You need to get your ass down here, and help me with these fucking tables. I swear the next time some guy tries to grab my ass, I’m gonna fuck him up.”

“I can’t … I’m sick.” Buffy coughed. “See?”

“Yea right, you faker. I know why you’re not coming in and let me tell you, he’s not here.”

“He’s not?”

“Nope, hasn’t been in.” Faith informed her.

Buffy sat up. “I guess he listened to me.” He’s not coming around anymore. Well, I did tell him to stay away. She pushed him away, and out of her life. Maybe it was better that way.

“So? Are you coming, because I have to go. Please, come in and if you don’t, I’m coming over after work and kicking your ass! Oh, shit, got to go. The man just walked in.” Faith hung up.

Buffy felt like she was going to cry, but willed the tears away. She got up and took a shower, came back out and put on her uniform.

Today is just another day. I can get through this. I don’t need him. He means nothing to me, she thought as she made her way to the bus stop.

“Oh, well thank you kind sir,” Buffy smiled as she placed the tip in her apron, and then grabbed the rest of the plates away from a table of three older men. She headed back to the kitchen to deposit the dishes in the sink when platinum blonde hair caught her eye. No, please no, damnit! She turned and looked at ‘his’ table, and there he was. Smirking at her. Fucking bastard, Buffy thought and made her way to the kitchen, not looking back.

Faith saw him and headed to his table, “What’ll it be?”

Spike looked up at her, “Coffee decaf.”

“Coming right up.” She turned to walk away.

“Oh, no take your time. I plan on being here awhile.”

Faith turned around, “Don’t you have a life?”

“Is it your business?”

“Well, yea, Buffy’s my friend, and I’d rather have it if creepy men didn’t come by to apparently stalk her.”

“Is that what you think I’m doing?”

Faith just looked at him.

“Well, then how would you explain the last few months of my coming in here?”

“Whatever. It’s coming up.” Faith went to go get his coffee, and Spike opened up the newspaper, like he did every morning. Only it was three in the afternoon.

Buffy came back out from the kitchen and went to the waitress’ station.

“I can’t believe he showed up, I thought I was going to be able to get through this day without a cameo of the fucking prick.” Buffy said as she leaned against the counter.

“Yea, well, I’m just going to serve him this coffee and get him the fuck out of here.”

“You’re serving him?”

“Yea, figured you weren’t going to.”

Buffy sighed, “Give me that.”

“What?”

“The mug.”

“You sure? You’re not gonna get all weepy on us, are you?”

“Fuck that. He can go to hell.”

Faith smiled and handed her the mug, “That’s my girl.”

Buffy headed towards the table, “Yea, yea …”

Spike wasn’t expecting to see Buffy heading towards him. He sat up straight and moved the paper out of the way.

Buffy placed the mug in front of him. She leaned in close to his ear, making Spike close his eyes for a second. “One cup, then get the fuck out of here and find a different diner.”

Spike reached his hand up and brushed his fingertips across her arm, “Is that what you really want?”

Buffy snatched her arm away and stood, “Didn’t I just say that, or are you hard of hearing. You know, maybe you should get a hearing aid.” Buffy smirked.

Spike glared at her, “You can joke all you want, but this old guy made you fucking scream, beg … come. I wouldn’t crack jokes.”

Buffy sighed and held her tray close to her, “What are you doing here anyway? You’re late.”

“Were you waiting for me?”

“Actually not, I just came in about an hour ago.”

Spike grinned. He knew why she just now came in. Or at least he assumed.

“Yea, well, I had a meeting with Liam, we talked about a project he wants to hire me for.”

“Well, good for you.” She began to walk away.

“Buffy …”

Buffy didn’t stop, “Just go.”

Spike watched her until she went through the double doors. He did however see Faith give him a thumbs up, smiling, then turn her arm up to flick him off before going back in the kitchen with Buffy.

Spike folded up his paper and stood, taking out his wallet. He left a twenty for her, and then left the diner. He planned to never go back there again.

The next week went by smoothly; she only cried twice and cursed herself for even doing that. Maybe she was just a child. Crying over some guy that she didn’t even love. Well, maybe she did, she wasn’t sure. She knew she had feelings for him; big, huge feelings. Buffy wondered if he was thinking of her. Probably not. Fucker probably has some little bitch in his bed … making her scream and beg. And man, could he do that. Buffy sighed and grabbed the remote before falling back on the bed. She turned on the TV and found a channel that she liked. Her thoughts still drifted back to him. Damn him. Damn him good! She thought.

Spike was on his fifth beer after getting a call from his mother in law. It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t. He laughed through his tears, and then sobbed like a baby. He needed someone right now. He needed Buffy. He had found out where his son was, but under the worst of circumstances. His ex wife, Winifred, had died in a car accident that morning. His first thought was getting on the first plane out to Seattle, where his son was, instead he went out to the local liquor store and got himself a twelve pack. He knew he shouldn’t, but he told himself just this once. One time. Make the pain go away. He wanted to call his former Sponsor, Clem but he couldn’t find the number. Maybe it was because he had thrown it away when he figured he would never touch the stuff again. He really wished he had that number. He picked up the phone and called the only person other than Clem that he wanted to talk to. Buffy.

Buffy dried herself off after getting out of the bathtub. She gave herself a ‘Buffy’ day, complete with a facial mask, bubbles, and candles. She told herself she’d be turning into a new person. Yea, right she thought, like a bath is going to do that for you. She heard the phone ringing but figured Dawn or her mom would get it. Faith was out today with her new boy toy, so she knew the phone wouldn’t be for her. Boy was she wrong.

There was a knock on the door, “Buffy, there’s a guy on the phone for you,” Dawn said as she came into the room. She covered the phone and whispered, “He sounds sad.”

Buffy sat on the bed and took the phone, “Hello?” Dawn walked back out of the room and shut the door.

“Buffy?”

“What do you want?”

“I … I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called.” His voice was shaky.

“Spike? Are you okay?” Buffy asked. Something wasn’t right. Was he crying?

“No, I’m really not. I … I got a call from my Gladys, my mother in law, or ex… or whatever. There …”

“Spike?”

Spike took a swig of his beer and kind of laughed, “My ex wife died this morning, she died, she’s gone. She had an accident.” Spike sniffed, and wiped at his tears.

“Oh my God, Spike, I’m so sorry.”

“Well, you don’t have to be, don’t know why I called you anyway.” He spat.

Whoa, what the fuck?

“Spike?”

“What?”

“Do you want me to come over?” Before he had a chance to answer, she continued. “No, I’m coming. I’ll be right there, okay?”

“Okay.”

Buffy took a cab over to his house; she paid the driver and didn’t bother to knock; she walked right in. Placing her purse on the table near the door, she took in what was going on. She saw empty beer bottles all over his coffee table and his magazines thrown on the floor. She looked down the hallway, and then turned her attention to the sliding glass door, leading to the back porch where she heard him.

She opened up the door a bit more, and stepped outside. He didn’t acknowledge her, just continued to look ahead of him. She saw the beer bottle in front of him, and the cigarette in his trembling hand.

“Spike?”

He didn’t answer, just sighed and took a swig of the green bottle. She fought the urge to say something about that, but decided against that. She could do that later.

Buffy moved and sat in the chair next to him, and placed a hand on his thigh.

“Spike, I’m here. You don’t have to say anything.” Buffy said softly.

Spike nodded and put out his cigarette in the ashtray.

“Matthew is coming to live with me.”

Buffy smiled a little knowing how much he missed his son, but it must be so hard that this was the cause of it.

“Gladys thinks that would be the best. That’s just her way of saying that she doesn’t want him. She was never really the kind of grandmother that most kids have. She had her own life …rot like that. Fuck.” He took another sip of his beer then lit another cigarette.

Buffy just sat there listening to him. She wanted to hug him, hold him, make him feel better. She knew there was nothing she could but listen. That’s what he seemed to want right now. And she would give it to him.

“I’ve always wanted my son with me, but what if he doesn’t know who I am? What … what if he’s forgotten me?” Spike turned and looked at her, tears in his eyes, “What if he doesn’t love me anymore, Buffy? What am I going to do?”

“You’re going to love him, and be the best father you can be to him.” She moved her chair closer to him and cupped his face. “You know you can be, everything will work out, Spike. It will.”

Spike covered her hand with his, and then wiped his eyes. He placed his cigarette in the ashtray and pulled her out of her seat and onto his lap.

“Buffy, baby, I’m so sorry.” He buried his face in her hair and held her close. “So, so sorry.”

Buffy started crying herself and held onto him. She never wanted to let him go again.

Spike moved and looked at her. He gently brought his lips to hers and kissed her softly.

“Stay with me?”

“I will.”

Spike picked her up and carried her to his room, and gently laid her on the bed. She undressed herself while Spike chucked his pants off, then he came and lay next to her. He pulled her close and just held her for a while. Buffy let him hold her, and she ran her fingertips up and down his back. Spike settled himself between her legs and slipped inside her. He didn’t move, just stayed like that. Buffy cupped his face and kissed him, realizing then that she did love him. That she wanted to be his and his only. He put his arm under her thigh, bringing it up and he started to move within her. Keeping his face buried in her neck, he whispered words of adoration to her and told her how much he needed her.

That night they made love again. They shared tears. They shared each other. The next morning Buffy awoke to Spike’s voice. He was still in the bed, still holding onto her. She smiled and rolled over and saw that he was on the phone.

“Of course I’ll be there. I’ll get the plane ticket as soon as possible.” Spike smiled weakly at Buffy and kissed her forehead. “I’m looking forward to seeing him.” He continued on, “All right, I’ll call you when I land, ok? Bye.” He hung up the phone and pulled Buffy on top of him.

“Who was that?”

“Winifred’s brother, Alexander. He called to tell me what was going on. Haven’t talked to him in … I can’t even remember when.” He reached for a cigarette and lit it. “Thank you for coming yesterday. I, I just wanted to tell you that.”

Buffy leaned down and kissed his chest, careful of the cigarette that was being held.

“I want to be here.”

Spike put one hand in her hair, playing with it, as he took a drag of his cigarette.

“Good to know.”

Buffy sat up, raising herself on him, then sinking onto him, “No, I mean … I want to be with you.”

“Buffy …”

“I …” love you. Buffy thought. She wouldn’t dare say that to him though.

“You … you what Buffy,” Spike said as he thrust his hips making her moan.

“I … Oh Spike, I love … I love how you feel, you make me feel so good …” She moaned.

Spike ground out his cigarette in the tray next to the bed and turned his attention back to the blonde beauty making love to him.

“I love how you make me feel too.”

“When are you going to be back?” Buffy asked as he drove her back to his place.

“I’ll probably be gone for a few days, a week the latest.” Spike said as he turned onto her street.

“Oh, I … I don’t know how you’ll feel about me saying this but, I think you should go to AA again. I know …”

Spike cut her off, “It was just that one time Buffy. I’m fine.”

“I’m only saying this because you are getting your son back, and I don’t want you to fall back into it. I care, that’s all.” Buffy said softly.

“I know you do, I’ll … we’ll talk about it when I get back, okay? I promise.”

Spike pulled into her driveway and put the car in park.

“Come here and give me a kiss.”

Buffy obliged him, and bit his lower lip gently in the process.

“Mmm, feisty.” He kissed her again.

Buffy pulled away and patted his leg, “Now, you go … and you can call me anytime while you’re gone. Here or at the diner, okay?”

Spike smiled, “Oh, I will.”

Buffy kissed him again and got out of the Desoto, waving to him one last time before going inside.

“Damn, I love that girl …” Spike smiled and shook his head, then made his way to the airport.