Her mother kept on asking when Spike would be coming by. Buffy still hadn’t told him about that. When Buffy had told Joyce that he was out of town, she had asked why, but Buffy had told her that it was business. She didn’t want to let her mom know that he had a son.

Yet.

“Hey B,” Faith said as she walked in Buffy’s room.

Buffy lifted her head off her pillow, “How did you get in here?”

“Dawn.”

“Ahh, what movies did you bring?” Buffy asked as she sat up.

“Oh, I got some kick ass ones tonight,” She said as she plopped on Buffy’s bed.

“Which are?”

With a smirk, Faith took the movies out of her bag.

An hour and a half later, Buffy couldn’t get the ‘Oh Micky you’re so fine’ song out of her head, thanks to Faith bringing over ‘Bring it On.’

“Thanks Faith, that’s just what I needed,” Buffy said as she reached for her drink.

“When’s your boytoy coming back?”

“He’s not my boytoy.” Buffy grinned. “He’s my man toy. There’s a difference.”

“That’s my girl,” Faith gave her a wink then frowned when Buffy looked at her.

“I miss him. He hasn’t called. I have no idea what’s going on.”

“What is going on?” Faith lay back on the bed and fluffed a pillow. “Are you two getting serious?”

“I think we are, I’m not sure.”

Faith raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, I’m pretty sure we are. Very sure,” She paused, we’re serious.” Buffy threw herself back on her bed, “I don’t know.”

“Where did he go again?”

“Seattle.”

“He went there for business right?”

Buffy covered her face with her hand. She had told Faith the same lie that she had told her mother. “Well … not really.”

“What do you mean not really? Why did he go there?” Faith rolled onto her side and propped her head up with her hand.

Buffy sat up, “If I tell you will you just like … not say anything stupid?”

“Me say something stupid? Yea right!”

“Faith …”

“Fine, I promise. What’s going on?”

“His wife died …”

“He has a wife?”

“Ex-wife.”

“I see …”

“No, you don’t see. He has a son also and he’s moving back here with Spike. He hasn’t seen his son in like two years and I’m so worried about him.”

Faith rolled her eyes, “So, what are you going to do? Move in with him? Take care of his kid? Buffy, you are so wasting your time. That’s what you’ll be doing. You’re gonna get tied down and the damn kid isn’t even yours. I think you should let him go.”

“I’m not going to be the kid’s mother, I …” Buffy thought about it.

“Wanna back that up and try again, B? He’s going to keep you around so you can play the cute little housewife, and I can tell you right now, he’s not going to marry you.”

“Who said anything about marriage?”

“Please, I know you B. I bet you’re already picking out colors.”

“No, I’m not.” Buffy denied. Well, not really. As much as Buffy thought ahead into the future, she really had no idea if they even had a future.

“Whatever. You’re only twenty. Drop him, come out with me and live a little.”

“Really not in the mood to sleep with random guys, Faith. That’s your thing.”

“Oh, you hurt me B!” Faith laughed and sat up then turned serious. “Look, one of two things is going to happen. One, he’s going to keep you around because you’re young and cute, you’ll take care of his kid while he’s doing whatever. Either that or he’ll get rid of you to actually find a woman his own age to be a mother to his kid. You don’t want to get mixed up with that. You have your whole life B; you’re going to get out of here like you’ve always wanted.”

Buffy took in what she was saying.

“It’s too complicated now, I couldn’t just leave.”

“What the hell are you talking about? You don’t owe him anything. Wow you fucked! Pick up and move on.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It is that simple. I would know.”

Buffy smiled a little and shook her head, “Yea, you would.”

“See?”

Buffy lie there on her bed staring at the ceiling and put her hand on her stomach.

No, it wasn’t that simple.

Buffy was scared, terrified even. She rubbed her tummy and couldn’t help but think that there was a baby growing inside of her; a baby that she wasn’t really ready for. She hadn’t taken a test yet because she didn’t want to stare at the positive color that would show up. What would Spike do if she was pregnant? She didn’t know. By the way he was acting; she knew he didn’t want another child. Then he called her a child and told her to go back home to her mother. Mother. If she stayed with Spike, she would already be a mother, or acting as if she was one to his son. A son that wouldn’t accept her because she wasn’t his mom. Would Spike leave her if that were the case?

Probably.

Buffy had helped out her mother and sister since she was fifteen, but that nowhere compared to what she was going to be faced with when Spike came back from Seattle. If she and Spike were even a couple, she’d have to fully accept him and his son. Cooking, cleaning … Buffy didn’t even have a car, let alone a driver’s license. She had never needed one. How could she step in and be a mother, when she was still a child?

Spike had spent the last three days in hell. He had been told if he hadn’t fucked up this wouldn’t have happened. If he would have been a better husband and father than Fred wouldn’t have left him and she wouldn’t have died. Now, all that Spike was waiting for was the funeral to attend then he was out of there and on his way back home.

His son was staying with Gladys as he had been for the past three days that Spike had been in Seattle. Xander had brought Matthew to his hotel and Spike had never been so happy in his life than when his son wrapped his arms around him. Spike had cried holding onto his Mattie promising him that he’d never leave him, that he was going to be a better father to him and that he loved him.

Spike stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his hips. He knew that he hadn’t called Buffy at all, but things had been crazy. He sat down on the bed and fished a cigarette out of the red box.

He needed her right now. He needed her to tell him that everything was going to be okay, he needed her be there for him. Now that he had his son back, he was happy. Then he would think of Buffy and wonder if she’d stay with him. He had yelled at her and told her that he didn’t want any more children and now he feared that she would say that she didn’t want to be a mother to someone else’s child. He cursed Fred, asking why she’d had to leave. Why she had to take his son away from him and why she got killed. Had she had never left, this wouldn’t have happened. If she had never left, he never would have met Buffy. Or would he have? He didn’t know.

He’d once had a woman. They had met during high school when she had tutored him. He liked her right away. He remembered when she smiled at him awkwardly, held up her hand and told him her name in a southern accent that made him grin. After that they were together and things had been good. He followed her to college and soon after that, they were married. Then Matthew came and he thought things couldn’t get any better.

He was wrong.

“William?”

He went into their bedroom and passed out.

That was the last time he’d ever seen her.

Spike crushed out his cigarette and got out another. He hadn’t thought about that night until now. He remembered waking up the next morning alone. He didn’t think anything of it and went to take a shower. When he got out and dressed, he went out to the kitchen expecting to see them at the table eating breakfast, all he saw was a note on the fridge.

He wiped his eyes and put out his cigarette in the ashtray.

After dressing, he sat on the bed and picked up the phone calling Buffy.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Hmm …Me who? I don’t know a ‘me.’” Buffy couldn’t hide the giggle that passed her lips.

“How are you doing?” Spike asked.

“I should be asking you that.”

“Oh, well he remembered me. God, Buffy, it’s been so long. I’m about to leave to go over to Gladys’ house to see him.”

“That’s great. I’m glad.”

“Yea, so what have you been up to? Miss me?”

“Eh, Faith just left. We had a girly movie night thing going on, and I’ve been working. Not too much going on this way.”

“Sounds interesting. The uh … the funeral is today.”

“Oh …How are you holding up?”

“Well, so far I’ve been blamed for it.” Spike sighed. “If I wouldn’t have been a fuck up, Fred wouldn’t have left me and she’d still be here.”

“Spike, you know that’s not true,” Buffy told him.

“I know, but it hurts, you know? Then I start thinking of things that I could have done, like … everything.” Spike said softly.

Buffy wanted to say things would get better for him, but she couldn’t. The words wouldn’t pass her lips. She felt bad for him in the sense that he had lost the mother of his child and was getting partially blamed for it. Then again, she was happy that she met him and that they were together. She knew that wouldn’t have happened if Winifred stayed. Then she felt bad for thinking that. They talked a little while longer, and then Spike had to go. Buffy never brought up what Faith had said. It wasn’t the time for it. She’d talk to him when he got back from Seattle. Spike told her that he missed her and he couldn’t wait for her to meet Matthew. That’s when Buffy finally realized what was happening. And she thought more into what Faith was talking to her about. She was going to meet Matthew.

His son.

Not only did she fear that she was pregnant, she was going to ‘play’ mom to his kid. Reality finally hit her.

And she was scared out of her mind.

Buffy guessed they were together, in the together sense. They never talked about living arrangements or anything like that. Their relationship was still new and they still haven’t gotten to know each other fully.

Would he ask her to move in?

She didn’t know if she even wanted to do that, or if Spike even thought about asking her. He hasn’t yet and never brought it up, so she pushed that thought out of her mind.

Buffy sighed and lay back on her bed. She started thinking of scenarios of how things would be when Spike got back from Seattle.

She still hadn’t asked Spike over to meet her mother, and now when he comes over he’ll be bringing a kid with him.

Oh, yea. That’s gonna go well.

Buffy sat up when she heard her mother coming up the stairs and went out to meet her in the hallway.

“Mom? Can we talk?” Buffy asked.

“Oh, sure Buffy,” Joyce replied as she followed her into Buffy’s room.

Buffy sat on her bed and patted the space next to her, asking her mother to sit.

“Now, what I’m about to tell you,” Buffy sighed then prayed silently. “Just don’t be mad at me, okay?”

“Buffy, I hate it when you start out conversations like this.” The older woman said.

“Mom, I know, but this is really important and I just …” Buffy looked to the ceiling hoping that her mom would understand, “You need to know.”

“Need to know what, Buffy?”

“Spike and I …we’re together.”

“I figured that, Buffy. I still don’t agree with it, but you are twenty. I really can’t say anything.” Joyce sighed.

“No, there’s more.”

“Oh God, Buffy, please don’t tell me you’re pregnant!”

Uh … Well, maybe. Buffy thought.

“No, no … Spike, he … well his … Ok, I’m just going to say it.”

Joyce just stared at her.

“Spike’s ex-wife just died and he went to Seattle for the funeral and he’s bringing back his seven year old son with him.”

A beat.

“Mom?”

“Yes, I’m … still here, I … what?” Joyce looked confused.

Buffy repeated again.

“No, no I got that. Buffy you are too young to be involved in a relationship like this.”

Buffy sighed, knowing this was going to happen.

“Mom, I told you because you needed to know. Actually, you really didn’t but I thought I’d be nice and tell you anyway. Now you know what’s going on and you’re not being kept in the dark.”

“Buffy, I still haven’t met him.” Joyce reminded her.

“You will. Spike and Matthew. Well, I still have to meet Matthew, but we will.”

“What are you going to be, his mother? Buffy you can’t even take care of yourself.”

“I’ve been helping you out since I was fifteen; I think I know a bit about responsibility.”

“Yes, but that was you helping out with bills and food. Buffy this is a child. A child that doesn’t know you, and he just lost his mother. I think you need to call this whole thing off before you get in too deep.”

“I already am in deep. Mom, I love him.”

“Oh God, Buffy please. You barely know him.” Joyce told her.

“I know enough.”

That was the only time that Spike called her while he was away. Buffy understood and she didn’t try to call him. He was going through a tough time. What with the passing of Winifred and seeing his son for the first time in two years, she figured she could wait until he called or came by when he arrived back in Sunnydale. Her mother still didn’t seem to welcome to the fact that she was with Spike. Joyce kept trying to talk to her about it, but Buffy would always change the subject or excuse herself from the room.

“Buffy! Clear that table will ya?” Willy hollered at her from the grill.

Buffy smiled and rolled her eyes as she walked back toward the kitchen to get a bus pan. She came back out and went to clear off the table, getting it ready for a new customer. Two waitresses and a busser had called in, and they were still awaiting Faith who had promised to come in early. Buffy glanced at the clock as she walked into the back of the restaurant. Faith was scheduled to be at work in five minutes.

“I am so going to beat her ass,” Buffy muttered under her breath. She strolled back out and stopped in her tracks when she saw him. Buffy smiled and started walking towards Spike when the most adorable kid in all history of children caught her attention.

“Buffy, this is my son Matthew, Mattie this is Buffy.”

Tbc…