[Reviews - 1852]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 10170 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
Hi all! Bear with me for one more chappy of spuffy luvin, then it’s down to the business of plot. After this chapter, it’s not all wine and roses. There won’t be a TON of angst, but there will be some. Wouldn’t be a story worth reading (in my mind) if they got together too quickly, and hey... having too much fun writing this. I really want to thank kar for all the tremendous help she’s provided me, especially when I get stuck or can’t think straight. And of course to Jeanie, MarzBar, Nicole, and Vicki, cuz hey, without them and kar, no story to post. I can’t thank everyone enough who took the time to leave a review, they really do mean a lot to me. To list everyone here would be too long, but I send out a HUGE hug and warm fuzzies to all. I hope once we get into the story, that you all enjoy it just as much as you have so far. Yes, there will be some angst as I’ve mentioned, but, there will be many, MANY more steamy scenes to come.
Beaselysmom, you just email me whenever you’re ready sweety, I’m usually always at home.
Chapter 11: Once More, With Feelings

He wanted her again, it was true; but she was clearly tired and so he would have to wait.

It was no surprise to William that his body had been ready to take her again so soon after what they'd done. He didn't want this night to end.

He looked down at his sleeping goddess and stroked her hair as she slept. It felt so good to hold her like this; she melded into his side perfectly, snuggled into his embrace as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Holding her close helped to quiet his thoughts.

He closed his eyes and sighed, he could think about everything tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow he would sort this all out and hopefully be able to return to his 'life', such as it was.

He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but it couldn't be helped. Soothed by the sound of her breathing, his mind grew still, and he drifted off, a smile turning up the corners of his mouth slightly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

William awoke to an odd sound. Disorientated, he shook his head and took in his surroundings.

Buffy.

They must have shifted during their sleep. They were lying on their sides now, his body flush with hers, spooning her back. Her tiny hand covered his as it held one of her breasts, his other arm outstretched underneath her neck.

Realizing he must have fallen asleep, he panicked. He was supposed to remain awake until she had rested. In all fairness, he was supposed to leave as per her written instructions...

'I don’t need him to spend the night but it is nice to be held till I’m asleep'.

However, she did say to let her get some rest and then "we'll see." He smiled as he listened to her tiny snores. With a will of its own, his body started to respond against the indentation of her buttocks.

She mumbled softly.

Must be dreamin', he thought. He dipped his head imperceptibly into the curve of her neck and inhaled. Ahhh. She still smelled of vanilla, but it was clear that his scent was all over her. Immensely pleased with this, he thrust his hips forward while placing a gentle kiss against her pulse point, purring deeply as he did so.

Buffy stirred at this so he froze, not wanting to wake her just yet. When she appeared to settle back down, he continued to place small, soft kisses against her skin and moved his length slowly along the crease of her backside.

Suddenly, her hand pulled his in closer against her breast as she sighed out her first audible word, "Spike." She spoke softly, a hint of contentment lacing her sleepy voice; it threw him.

His heart swelled in his chest then rose to his throat. He swallowed hard. She's dreamin’ `bout me.

He felt so moved in that moment that he wanted to weep. It didn't matter that she hadn't spoke his given name. She'd said the name he'd told her, said that name while she slept, not 'Riley' or anyone else's... his name. They'd known each other for only a few short hours, but within those hours had shared so much, much more than just their bodies. They'd laughed and joked, argued and fought, teased and played; all this in between worshipping the other's body so very, very well... like a real couple. He instinctively held her closer and screwed his eyes shut to ward off any tears that threatened to come forth, and whispered.

"Don' want to leave."

Her only response was another soft sigh of his name.

William's eyes grew wet as she said it again, but he didn't give into it, he couldn't. It wasn't his right... he had no right; he was beneath her. Part of him wanted to flee, grab his coat and run as far away from her as possible. It scared him to death to be feeling anything at all, let alone this much for anyone, especially her. She was supposed to be just another job.

Instead, he clung to her even tighter. He didn't want to have to leave the haven of comfort she provided him so unknowingly. He wasn't ready to have the veil of emotions she evoked lifted to face the cold reality that tomorrow would inevitably bring. He whispered a plea against her skin.

"One more time, baby... please. Once more... with feelings."

If this was to be the last time, the only chance he could do this again, then so be it. He was damned anyway because he'd fallen for her in the first place.

He threw all rationality out the window and moved his hand from underneath hers to caress her belly lightly with his thumb. Even though the feelings would be one-sided, he was going to worship her one last time.

His 'job' was to pretend, to lie. Why not pretend to himself, just for now, that she cared for him, that they were meant for one another. Yes, he could do that. He would lie to himself. His one wish was to have a woman like this in his life, and now that woman was Buffy. Since that was never going to happen, he could at least indulge in one last fantasy of his own, that she was his and his alone. He would use that illusion and love her body like there was no tomorrow. As his mind slipped into that alternate universe, he began moving against her.

He dragged his hand down her stomach to cup her mound. Inching his middle finger in between her closed thighs, he sought her clit and massaged it back and forth.

Parting his lips, he trailed kisses from her ear to her shoulder then back again. His fingers moved further inward to slide along her cleft. Gently, he parted her folds to draw out her moisture and spread it around. She was amazingly wet and he shuddered at the discovery. Had she been dreaming about him, or was she simply that responsive to his touch? When she moaned, he removed his hand.

Shifting his hips back, he grabbed his erection and poised it between her thighs. Placing two fingers on the underside of his cock, he guided himself forward to bathe in her slickness. When he felt sufficiently coated in her juices, he placed the tip against her folds and pressed forward until the head was inside. Her knees were bent, offering a near perfect angle with which to penetrate her, but he needed just a little more room; removing his hand, he took her knee and gently raised it.

With every beat, he felt the blood in his heart race from his chest, down his body to course through the length of his shaft. He ached with every pulse to shove his throbbing cock deep inside of her in one swift stroke, but refrained for fear of waking her in pain. He cursed himself for being so big. If only he were of average size, he wouldn't have to take his time... God knows he didn't want to.

His hips began to rock back and forth in slow, short strokes, entering her a little at a time. As he sank further and further inside of her, he let her knee back down. He rested his hand on her hip and used it to pull her against each of his thrusts.

Her passage gripped at his length every time he pulled away, making him moan softly into her hair. He hoped she would wake up soon and not be upset with him for entering her while she slept. His fantasy wouldn't be complete if he couldn't look into her beautiful green eyes as he moved within her and feel her hands on his skin, encouraging him. He needed her, needed her with him, right now.

Moving the arm that lay underneath her neck down, he placed his palm against the soft hair of her sex. His fingers curled inward to press against her hooded arousal. As he moved inside of her, the hand on her hip continued pulling her into his thrusts, while the other pushed her against them. She must be exhausted not to have woken up by now, and he could wait no longer, whether she reacted badly or not.

Buffy had been dreaming from the second her eyes had closed. Images of the men from her past faded in and out rapidly. First Lindsey, then Robin, back to Lindsey, then Angel, making her nauseous from the dizzying blur of faces and range of emotions associated with each one of them; disappointment, disgust, anger, resentment, hopelessness... Faster and faster, their faces swirled around her as the emotions took hold of her heart and squeezed, making it feel as if it were breaking from a loss for something she couldn't put her finger on. Just when she thought she might throw up everything went black.

As the darkness receded, the fuzzy outline of a face appeared close to hers. As it slowly came into focus, the first thing she saw was a pair of clear blue eyes staring at her, concern written deeply in them. She could just make out the sound of a deep male voice, speaking to her in soothing tones.

"`S ok Buffy. I sent them all away. You're here with me now baby, no more tears."

She lifted her hands to her eyes. They stung from what felt like hours spent crying long and hard. She pushed the tears away repeatedly until her vision cleared. When she looked back to the face in front of her, the image evaporated.

Everything plunged back into darkness momentarily, and then went bright as the dark figure of a man stepped away from her bedroom window.

She could see his body, clad entirely in black, but couldn't make out his face. She blinked hard, trying desperately to 'see' that face as he slowly approached her. As he drew closer, the same pair of concerned blue eyes that had met hers earlier materialized. They looked so familiar, yet she couldn't place to whom they belonged.

Confusion set in as his face remained hazy, all except for those hauntingly beautiful eyes. She hadn't realized she was sitting on her bed until he dropped to his knees in front of her.

His hands reached out, gently cupping her face, sending tingles across her skin upon his touch. He was speaking again, his thumbs caressing her cheeks in comforting circles.

A familiar masculine scent suddenly filled her nostrils, and she struggled even harder to remember. It frustrated her that she didn't recognize him, couldn't see all of the details of this man she knew she should know.

A wave of calm washed over her as his voice began filling her ears.

"Open your eyes."

Just then, his lips became visible, lush and full, then the strong defined lines of his square chin, his cheeks. Her eyes darted rapidly over the rest of his face as his features emerged one by one. She heard him begging her.

"Please baby, need you so much, need you to look at me."

He leaned in to kiss her full on the mouth. His lips felt so soft, the kiss so sweet; she closed her eyes and gave into the delicious feel of his tongue as it probed inside to tangle with her own before abruptly pulling away. Yes, she knew him. That kiss was unforgettable, the passion he poured into it unmistakable. As the fog of her confusion finally lifted, she whispered his name in recognition.

"Spike."

"Tha's right baby. Look at me."

Her eyes fluttered open to see his face clearly for the first time. His clothes melted away in front of her, revealing the lean hard body she knew so well. He slowly pushed her back on the bed and crawled between her legs.

"Spike," she whispered. He kissed her again, deeply this time and gently entered her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and welcomed the instant passion her body felt from his arousal as it filled her completely.

Breaking the kiss, he nuzzled her cheek and whispered.

"Need you so much."

It felt so good, so... real, am I dreaming?

Everything suddenly intensified, the sound of his voice telling her he needed her, to open her eyes, the feel of him moving above her, within her. She was nearing her climax, her body humming around him when her vision started to grow hazy again.

She blinked once, twice, three times...

She realized she was truly awake now, that it had been a dream, but the bliss between her thighs was still there. Her sleep-addled brain fought to figure out what was...

"Ahhhh. OH, oh God Spike!"

"Tha's it, open your eyes baby, need you here with me."

The full realization that he was indeed pumping away inside of her, that her body was indeed nearing orgasm slammed into her all at once. She turned her head to see his eyes hooded with lust as he pulled her into each thrust.

"Please don' be mad with me, I couldn' wait to have you again." He couldn't read her expression, couldn't tell if she was upset or not. When she hadn't said anything right away he ceased all movement, he had to know.

"Buffy? Are you mad?"

Mad? Was he mad? If only she could wake up this way every morning, er night... er mid-morning... Ah, fuck it, who cares.

She reached around and roughly grabbed his head with her right hand, drawing him in for a bruising kiss. She watched his eyes go wide with surprise before responding back with an eagerness that matched her own. Seconds later, she yanked him back by his hair to say only two words.

“Not mad.”

That said, she pulled away from him and rolled over. Gripping him by the shoulders, she forced him onto his back and quickly straddled him. Her plan was to mount him right then, ride him out for all he was worth. But something caught her attention, made her stop short at what she discovered as she glimpsed into his eyes.

What she found was a startling contrast of emotions, as if he wanted her to read what he was feeling through his eyes. There was lust, confusion, need, worry, desire, fear... and something else: longing. Yes, a longing, but for what? She feared that she could be crushed by the weight of his emotions.

In that moment, a maternal instinct to hold ‘the boy’ buried within the man, to calm the storm that raged in his eyes, became overwhelming. His eyes reflected an aching hunger for something that only she could give. If she could figure out what that was, she would give it to him, freely.

Staring at him, she realized if she searched those eyes too hard for too long, she would surely be drowned, forever lost in the beautiful agony of want reflected there. Heedless of that danger, her gaze remained fixed, exploring their depths.

He wanted to voice to his emotions, tell her every feeling, every hope she imbued in him. The words seized in his throat as he choked on the thought that she would probably laugh, or worse, he would scare her away. But if he did, perhaps he would then be released from the indescribable hold she had over him.

No, he wouldn’t talk; instead he would imprison himself within his fantasy. What he couldn’t verbalize, he would tell her with his body. His confession would be made in the form of his actions as he worshiped her body.

She sat there, just staring at him, hadn’t made a move since she’d flipped them over. His soul felt suddenly naked as her stare went below the surface of his eyes. He could see the wheels turning in her mind, trying to figure out what it was she was seeing. Oh God. Can she see it? Afraid no good would come of it if she did, he reached for her, purposefully digging his fingers firmly into the flesh of her hips to distract her.

Detoured from her quest by his grip, she decided the only way she could comfort him was to give them both what they seemed to want so desperately; one last time. She would hold him to her, wrap him in the fabric of her body and cradle him gently, hoping it would be enough.

Rising up on her knees, she brought his cock to her opening and guided it in, sinking herself all the way down in one fluid motion until their hips were flush. She loved how he stretched her. What little discomfort there was this time didn’t matter, this was worth it, he was worth it.

He closed his eyes momentarily at the feel of his length being taken so readily within her depths. He still couldn’t get over how tight she felt and groaned. She rocked against him, moving her hips in a circular motion and ground down to increase the pressure. His fingers loosened until he was just holding onto her. He was going to let her decide how she wanted him by handing the reins of control over to her. They began a pleasing rhythm meant to draw out every sensation, enhancing the bliss that came from feeling every curve, every nook where their bodies fused.

She had surrendered herself to him tonight in every way but one, her heart. She still wanted so very badly to believe he was there with her by choice that she was tempted to willingly fool herself, again. As she looked back into his eyes and felt him move with her, everything about this encounter seemed entirely different from the others.

Gone was the lewd man who’d broken into her bedroom, forced her to relinquish all control, and spoke delicious words of naughtiness into her ear that brought her to the height of a passion she didn’t know herself capable of; in his place was... someone else. Was this also a planned part of his act? It didn’t feel that way. What would he have to gain if this wasn’t?

Baffling questions about his behavior filled her head. The last time, before they fell asleep, he’d lured her willing mind away from the fact of what he was, of why he was there. She’d allowed herself to make believe he wanted to be there, with her, that she was all that existed in his world. She wasn’t mad at him for that, couldn’t be, that was her own decision. But he was doing it again, damnit. He didn’t even know he was doing it... or, did he?

Yes, she respected him as a man, a person, had felt awful for the instances where she had clearly hurt his feelings. And yes, he did mean more to her than, than... what she cared to admit. It was that, right there that caught her attention.

She had a choice, allow herself to be swept away by this man again, or, treat the situation for what is was. She could ignore his expressive eyes that made her think otherwise and just enjoy the physical pleasure he brought her. After all, the role he’d played to perfection tonight was clearly written for him, and it was a truly Oscar worthy performance. If she could just bear that in mind, it would help her in the days to follow to understand that it was nothing more than that. How much harm could one more daydream be if she were to indulge herself? There was only one way to find out.

She took his hands from her waist, raised them over his head and held them there. Her hair tickled his face as she dipped forward to kiss him sweetly on the mouth. As his soft lips yielded to hers, so too she yielded to her decision, willing to lose herself one last time.

Their coupling was gentle this time, no frantic movements or harsh demands were made. Unlike their previous lustful frenzies where dirty talk was welcome, no words were spoken this time; a silent, yet mutual agreement to just feel had been made. This was a slow dance, performed to the tune of their imagination, though neither acknowledged that fact, so rapt in the other.

After breaking the sweetest kiss he had yet experienced from her, she squeezed his wrists before pushing herself back up, indicating she wanted him to remain that way. His mouth opened, taking in deep ragged breaths as he watched her roll her hips back and forth, side to side, then in a figure eight that had his sac tightening. When her eyes remained on his and she began teasing her nipples, he thought he would lose his mind. She was so God damn beautiful, so perfect... there was nowhere in the world he’d rather be than right here, like this, with her.

The first sign of an orgasm came from low in her belly, light tingles of pleasure twisting and turning in on themselves, and she knew that if she moved just a little faster, the feeling would grow. But she kept her pace steady, not yet wanting to experience it.

Odd that this was the case now, since that was her very problem. Not anymore, not with him, she thought. She merely wanted to draw this out for however long she could. Once he came, she knew it would be over, and she didn’t want that, not yet.

He felt her constricting around him, knew that she would need something more to help her get there. Yet she didn’t change her rhythm, just continued at the pace she’d already set. He wasn’t sure what was going through her mind, but her eyes told him she was enjoying exactly what she was doing, and didn’t want it to stop as she pushed her breasts together and opened her mouth to pant lightly.

He wasn’t sure if he could take it though, seeing her like this, itching to help her fondle those firm breasts, feeling her squeeze his member, milking him slowly... He felt himself getting too excited. The last thing he wanted was to shoot off too early, before she did, before he could help in bringing about her ecstasy. Not gonna happen.

Bringing his hands over his head, he settled one over her hand, helping to knead and roll the ripe mound, slipping his fingers in the crease where they came together. His other hand wiggled in between them, his thumb finding her nubbin to rub it firmly in time with her movements. She closed her eyes and dropped her head back, gasping, then quickly snapped back to look at him. Oh yeah, this was working just the way he wanted it to as he felt her walls closing in around him, tighter and tighter and...

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh.”

He kept his own movements at a minimum for fear of joining her. He wasn’t finished, he still wanted to venerate her body, give her body what it deserved and bring her to release as many times as he could. He wanted to let her know just how much he treasured her and the night she’d shared with him.

She should have known better. He could make her body sing however and whenever he chose. And though it happened as soon as his hands were on her, it didn’t detract from the intensity of her fulfillment. Coming back to herself she realized with gratitude that he hadn’t cum yet, that this was far from over. This made her smile. He was the most thoughtful lover she’d ever had. Her needs were a priority to him, and she would give anything to have this night never end.

When she smiled like that, the world fell away. It communicated pure satisfaction, appreciation for that satisfaction, and he was happy that he had been the one to give it to her, for her first time and every one thereafter; that that smile had been for him and no one else... ever. He should look up all her exes and thank each and every last one of them for their ineptitude.

He sat up, wrapped his arms around her slim waist and rolled her over. She used her hands to pull her hair from underneath her, fanning it out above her; his eyes were immediately drawn to it. He didn’t resist the urge to weave his fingers into the golden tresses and pull her head to meet his, resting his forehead against hers.

As he began moving inside her, he lay her head back down. This time when he kissed her, he didn’t stop. He could spend hours, days, hell, forever just kissing her and nothing else, but since he didn’t have forever, he settled for what remaining time they did have. He would prevent any loss of contact from the two sweet lips that kissed him back as tenderly as he kissed hers.

The minutes passed before something in the atmosphere changed. She couldn’t place what it was, but there was a definite, different... feel to it. As he rocked her body, she tried to pinpoint it. Was it the air? The mood? An... emotion perhaps? It hung so thick around them that it clung to her skin as if tangible. It felt so real so... oh my God!

It felt so much like he was making love to her that she almost pushed him away. But God it felt so... good, he felt so good. Everything he did, everything he was doing to her right now, poured into her like... was... just...

Her mind refused to think, preferring instead to be lost in his arms, the feel of his touch, those lips as they never ceased to kiss her so... affectionately.

William had felt it too, had known the exact moment when things had taken a turn in an emotional direction for which he wasn’t entirely prepared. But the unexpected turn was not unwelcome. It was something he would probably never experience in reality, and so he succumbed to it, not caring how he would deal with it come tomorrow.

Neither wanted to destroy the fragility of the moment as it enveloped them, stealing away their separate fantasies to be replaced by a concept of something each had yet to experience.

As time meaninglessly wore on, he brought her to release several times over before no longer able to hold back his own. In that final time, as they came together, they held one another close, each unwilling to let go of the other.

Her hold on him loosened as she fell asleep. This was it; the time had come for him to leave. He could hear the soft chirping of the birds that signaled the break of dawn. As carefully as possible, he got up and slid off the bed. He dressed silently in the sweats and t-shirt she had lent him, too exhausted both physically and emotionally to think about it. After donning his duster, he walked back over to the bed and quietly covered her small frame with the comforter, then dropped to his knees in front of her face.

"Sweet dreams Buffy." Leaning in, he placed a featherlike kiss to her lips then turned and left, not sparing one glance back in her direction.



A/N: I realize it’s been a long exhausting night for our couple, but I felt I had to ‘go there’, meaning one more time. It’s a tad on the mushy side I know, but necessary. Next chapter we’ll learn much, much more about William and how Buffy is dealing with the day after. As always, please leave a review, they keep me going, thanks.





You must login (register) to review.