...Oooooooh, ahh- ahhhhh, oh, ah, ah, ah “aaaaaAAAAAAAAH!!!”
Tiny droplets of perspiration beaded across her forehead as the muscles in her legs continued to quiver uncontrollably from the intensity of her orgasm. She struggled to slow her labored breathing even as her heart still beat wildly in her chest.
Three nights in a row he had come to her; lavishing her body with his touch, adorning every inch of her skin with his kisses, filling her up from the inside out with his body and soul.
“God Damnit!”
Her underwear was soaked... again. Frustration consumed her along with an unexpected emotion... anger.
Every night he entered her dreams, and every night he made her body sing. This night, however, the orgasm Spike gave her was so intense it woke her up, her womb still pulsing in time with the release of her fluids.
She got out of bed and raced into the bathroom, flicking on the light. She immediately turned the faucet on and began splashing her face over and over with ice cold water until she felt sufficiently awake.
She remained hunched over the sink for a few seconds longer with her eyes closed after turning the water off. This has GOT to stop. Grabbing a hand towel, she patted her face dry and stood upright to look at herself in the mirror, only to be met with her again; the face of that woman who overshadowed her own familiar reflection day after day. The woman who yearned endlessly for the bleached blonde she’d met only four days ago.
She’d gone over that night at least a hundred times, picking apart every detail. And every time she’d come up empty handed. True, there were some genuine moments, things that happened she knew in her heart could not be faked... by any man. The last time they were together she’d told herself it was all an act, had allowed herself to escape in a fantasy because of it. So why did it feel so much like he was ‘there’ with her?
She was tired of this; tired of him plaguing her thoughts during the waking hours and tired of him haunting her dreams at night. The longer she looked in the mirror at this stranger, the angrier she became. There had to be a way to get him out of her dreams, out of her mind, and out of her life. She needed to prove to herself that it meant nothing more to him than her money in his pocket.
After lunch with Anya and her four hour session of retail therapy, she figured it was time to call Lorne. She let him know right away that she was happy with her ‘encounter’ from his service but nothing more beyond that. They spent the next hour idly chatting and laughing away about much of nothing. She was grateful he hadn’t asked if she wanted another appointment with Spike. She made up her mind that it wasn’t going to ever happen again, however, it seemed her body wouldn’t accept that decision and rebelled whenever she slept.
She stepped back from the mirror and stripped her clothes off. Turning the shower on, she set the water’s temperature to a lukewarm, suffering through the goose-bumps in order to shake any remnants of sleepiness away. She had to figure out a way and fast; she couldn’t go on like this, couldn’t go on pining for a... prostitute.
She dressed herself in boxers and a loose tank top before leaving her bedroom. Padding down the stairs, she decided a hot cup of chamomile and some late night television would help clear her head. She couldn’t come up with a solution if she remained upset, and she damn sure wasn’t going back to sleep. She knew if she did that he would be there, waiting for her.
Settling down five minutes later with her tea, she wrapped a throw around her legs and turned on the TV.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sitting at The-Hide-Away, William sat quietly nursing his third whiskey of the evening. Tonight had found him thinking about Buffy... again. He knew the minute he’d left her house that he wouldn’t be able to get her out of his mind, so he hadn't even tried. And like the fool for love that he was, he spent every night sniffing her clothes while vividly recalling her kiss, her touch, how she’d stirred a longing buried deep within only to end up calling out her name while relieving himself alone in his bed.
He’d done his best to hide his disappointment several nights ago when Lorne informed him that she had called but said nothing more than she was happy with her ‘purchase’. After hearing that, he figured there was no reason to broach the subject of Lorne’s cryptic statement regarding how he spent his time with her. What would be the point? And what did he really expect? That Lorne would say she couldn’t wait to see him again? He scoffed at the thought. And yet every day and every night a part of him he still hoped, knowing it was in vain, that she would call.
She probably hadn’t even broke up with her boyfriend, didn’t need to since Spike took care of her problem. No, she was probably home right now in her bed with white-bread himself, getting her brains shagged out and screaming his name in pleasure.
That last thought infuriated him, making him gulp the rest of his Jack down and slam the glass on the table.
Lorne had been flitting around the place all evening, talking with staff and catering to the customers when he came upon William at that exact moment.
“Whoa, buddy, easy on the wares.” He turned a chair backwards and straddled it to sit across from his friend, arms resting in front of him.
“Sorry mate. Jus’ tired. Long shift at Grisanti’s.” He damn sure wasn’t going to start singing the Blues; Lorne would see right through him in heartbeat.
“I see.”
Lorne’s tone suggested he didn’t believe him, but William didn’t care. Honestly? He just wanted to be left alone with the bottle of brown liquid that sat on the table in front of him. After he drank the amount needed to get her off his mind he would have Lorne call him a cab.
“Got a job if you’re interested.”
“Anyone I know?” He was grateful Lorne hadn’t needed him this week so far, but of course it was bound to happen eventually. He still didn’t know how he was going to handle getting back in the routine again of being with other women, and apparently he was going to have to face that now, whether he had an answer or not.
“Matter of fact you do.”
At this, William perked up, a flicker of hope filling his heart.
“Really?” Buffy, please let it be Buffy.
“Harmony called.”
William’s heart sank faster than the Titanic.
“I think you mean Harmful. And the answer is no.”
“I knew you wouldn’t want to, but despite having gone through four of my other guys, she still clambers for her Blondie Bear.”
“Stupid chit’s denser than Sherwood. Can’ take the hint I wouldn’ shag her again if...” Hold on, what if... He could just...
Spike came to the forefront to reason with William.
---You need to get back in the game. Got a goal here and we’re too bloody close. Are you gonna let a girl ruin it for us? Gonna run back home to Daddy with your tail between your legs because of her? A girl who doesn’ even want you, used you, remember? Don’ be a nancy-boy.
“You know what, changed my mind, I’ll do it.”
“Really? Wow, uhmm, are you feeling alright? Cuz I see you’ve been hanging with Jack here tonight.”
Spike and William were both on-board. Harmony was the perfect solution to his problem. One night with the annoying bird would straighten him right out. After he finished this job, he’d remember the very reason why he was doing what he was doing, and of why he could never hope a woman like Buffy could ever really care for him.
“Matter of fact, `m perfect.”
“Alrighty then.” Lorne sounded enthusiastic as he slapped his hands together. “Does tonight work for you?”
Spike laughed then answered Lorne’s question with a question.
“Same address right?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Forty five minutes later found Buffy relaxed but too sleepy for her taste. When her eyes began to flutter, she fought it. Sitting up straight, she rubbed her eyes and shook her head back and forth; she was still no closer to an answer of how to get Spike out of her head. She couldn’t allow herself to fall sleep knowing he would be there, waiting for her, just as he had every night. Waiting to play her body like a well tuned violin to a solo composed just for her.
She picked up the remote and began flipping through the channels rapidly, searching for something, anything loud or obnoxious to keep her awake.
“That should do it.” She found infomercials to be incredibly annoying, thus perfect for keeping her awake. Listening to some middle aged man rant on and on about a set of self-help audio-books, she snorted, self-help, if she could help herself she wouldn’t be sitting on the couch right now. She’d be upstairs getting a fitful night’s sleep right now with dreams of owning those hot black Prada heels she’d passed on buying the other day.
Her mind emptied as she tuned into the ‘success’ of the people who bought the tapes as they ranted about the impact the product had on their lives before the host with the awful toupee re-appeared.
“...is the answer my friend. Tape number three, Facing Your Personal Demons. This tape will illustrate how facing your fears head on and conquering them will set you free, allowing you to pursue all the success you deserve and ...”
As surely as she was absorbed in the meaningless chatter, one part had clearly caught her attention. That’s it.
Glancing at the clock on the wall, it read 12:23AM. She got up and made her way to the kitchen where her purse lay. Pulling out her cell phone, she hit 2 buttons and pressed call. Four rings later...
“Hello cupcake. How’s my favorite girl?”
“I’m fine. You?”
“Oh the usual, running out of vermouth, in bad need of a manicure; other than that just peachy. Are we still... hold on, too much noise here.”
The sounds of the club’s night life disappeared after hearing the distinct sound of a door closing.
“That’s better. As I was about to ask, are we still on for Saturday?”
“Definitely! I have NOTHING in my fall wardrobe that’s worth keeping from last year and I could use some new boots. But that’s not why I called”
“What’s up honey-bunny.”
“Well, I was wondering if...”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
William needed at least two more shots of whiskey, just the right amount of liquid courage to use Spike in his plan to forget all about Buffy. Once he was plowing himself into Harmony, he knew he’d revert back to the man he was before. He poured another shot even as Lorne still stared at him with a look of disbelief at taking the job.
“I’ll call and tell Miss Kendall you’ll be by in let’s say, ohhhhh... one hour?”
“One hour, got it.” He raised his glass in mock salute. “Here’s to one job closer to quittin’.”
Lorne laughed in response and got up, leaving William to his drink and headed for his office to call Harmony.
Deciding there was no time like the present; William slammed back the shot in one swallow. He did this four more times in rapid succession before standing up and heading out the door. It would only take him eighteen, no, make that twelve minutes if he drove fast enough to where she lived. The sooner he could get this over with the better, besides, he knew Harmony wouldn’t complain.
Arriving at the familiar condo in a record nine minutes, he dismounted his motorcycle and strode towards the door with determination and knocked three times. Hearing the familiar voice whining from within made him cringe, but the resolution of his personal mission forced him to open the door and walk in.
He saw no sign of Harmony as he made his way into her living room. The high shrill of her voice rang out moments later, clearly coming from where he knew her bedroom was.
“I’m in here.”
Of course she is. Slipping into character, he swaggered to where he knew she was waiting for him. He stopped to lean one forearm against the frame of the door. Running his hand slowly down his stomach to settle on his crotch, he wore a seductive smile and cocked his head to one side as he took in the sight of her. She lay on her bed in nothing but a purple frilly teddy that left nothing to the imagination, running one finger up and down from her neck to the valley of her breasts and up again.
“Hello Harm. Miss me?”
She pouted.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’ve been avoiding me.” Her whimpering increased and her pout deepened. “Those others Lorne sent me weren’t any good compared to my Blondie Bear.”
Spike eyed the patterns she traced on her chest. Her breasts were more than mouthful, perfect for getting creative as to what to use the two mounds for, and the full curves of her body looked warm and inviting. Oh yeah, `s jus’ what I need.
He shrugged off his duster and draped it over a chair as he headed straight for the bed. Stopping before the beauty that lay waiting for him; he peeled off his shirt, dropped it on the floor and crawled his way onto the bed towards her. She opened her arms wide but he didn’t reciprocate. Instead, he reached for the silk bow on the front of her lingerie and pulled it until her breasts spilled forth, straining towards his capable hands.
“Wha’s your pleasure tonight, luv?” He took one of her hands and brought it to his growing erection. “You want me to take it easy on you? Or... shall I fuck you into the ground like I know you want me to?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy knew she’d done the right thing as she snapped her phone shut. She was going to face her ‘personal demon’ head on, and as surely as the infomercial had preached, she would conquer it. After requesting to see Spike she agreed to let Lorne decide as to when he would arrive on one condition; “no breaking through my window again.” Lorne chuckled and assured her he would use the front door this time.
Her little ploy would not only rid her mind of the memory from four days ago, but once she saw Spike again, she would be forced to see the arrangement she’d made for exactly what it was. It was nothing more than a simple exchange of money for goods and services rendered... it was just sex.
The only downside was the waiting. She didn’t know how many nights she would have to spend dreaming about Spike until he actually showed up on her doorstep. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too long. Her dreams were becoming too much for her, not to mention it cost more time spent doing laundry from the havoc it wreaked on her underwear and sheets.
Sighing, she headed back up the stairs towards her bedroom. She had to get some sleep; it wouldn’t do her any good to remain awake. Flopping onto the bed, she chose to stay on top of the blanket, sure that her sheets were still damp from her wet dream. As she reached to shut the light off, she spotted Spike’s clothes lying just below her pillow, partly concealed by the bedspread.
The desire to pick them up and inhale his scent was overwhelming. Annoyed with herself, she grabbed the clothing and flung it as far away from the bed as possible, “Errrrrrgh.” She would wash them tomorrow and return them the second he showed up, well all except for the ripped T-shirt. She would keep the shirt, no, there will be no keeping of the shirt. That will go in the trash. Suddenly afraid she might try to retrieve it in a moment of weakness... on second thought, I’ll burn it. Yup, that should take care of any impulse to go garbage picking.
Her thoughts now turned to Riley and their last conversation. Just as she had planned, she hadn’t bothered to call him for three days or to answer the messages he’d left for her... until today. There was a hint of irritation to his voice when she’d told him that work had picked up due to her successful business trip and that she barely had time to sleep let alone call or see him. It seemed to placate him though when she asked if he would meet her Friday night at Grisanti’s.
Friday, she thought. Just three more days, well, technically two since today is Wednesday. She needed to break it off before his feelings were too involved, and judging from this last conversation, the sooner the better. Once Riley was out of the picture she could breathe a bit easier, however...
It wouldn’t be until after she’d seen Spike again, to remind herself of the reality of his ‘job’, could she see herself returning to any real sense of normalcy in her day to day life. Soon, very soon. Lorne wouldn’t make me wait a week, at least I hope not. Now she wished she’d chosen a day, rather than leaving it for Lorne to decide. In the end it wouldn’t matter, it was going to happen, and when it did, she’d be released from any real or perceived threat he had over her heart.
With her mind now at ease, she closed her eyes and gave in to the need for sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harmony was fondling Spike’s hard-on and squeezed it firmly when asked if she wanted to be fucked into the ground. Taking that as her answer, he groaned and bucked his hips into her hand.
This was good, no perfect. She didn’t want the Romeo act tonight or any silly romantic words. He could shag her good and hard, make her cum a few times before he did then walk out the door a cured man.
She pulled his belt apart slowly and opened the snap to his pants, grinning like the Cheshire cat.
He hadn’t touched any part of her body yet, not even after palming his cock. Instead, he sat back on the bed and let her do all the work of undressing him. She pulled his zipper down part way then stopped to tease and play her fingers along his abdomen and down to the hair of his manhood.
“My sweet Blondie Bear knows me so well I don’t have to answer that question” she cooed.
“Doesn’ mean I don’ like hearin’ it.”
She giggled and crawled her way to sit on top of him, her crotch seated just below his erection.
He closed his eyes and gave into the feel of her hands as they roamed from his chest back down to the rippling muscles of his abdomen. When she reached for his zipper again, his hand shot out to grip her wrist tightly.
“Say it.”
She looked confused for a moment before catching on. Deciding to tease, she asked.
“Say what?”
“Don’ play games. You know what.” He wanted to hear it, had to, needed to hear the word ‘fuck’ to remind him. That one crude word that embodied what he did in order for his dream to survive long enough to become reality. Only then could he do it. As soon as she spoke the word he could move on, fuck Harmony right into next week and fuck Buffy right out of his life.
He smiled as Harmony lowered her body, bringing her mouth was level with his ear.
"Fuck me, Spike. Fuck me hard."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Upon ending his conversation with Buffy, Lorne sighed from the heaviness that filled his heart. He was truly at an impasse as to exactly what he should do. He cared deeply for his friend William, but at the same time adored Buffy and his new-found relationship with the vivacious young blonde.
To intervene or not, that was the question. Despite his ‘ability’, he never knew when it was truly his place to say anything or nothing at all. The bane of his gift lie in accepting what would happen if he chose to tell all, part, or none of what was revealed to him. It was a roll of the dice in the lives of those involved as to how it would turn out in the end, and he hated the fact he had any bearing on it at all.
He was the last one who wanted to upset the balance of the universe and its plans, but the way Buffy hummed to a song coming from her radio in the background when she’d called him the day after Spike arrived... well, he couldn’t ignore what her soul had cried out.
Still, he knew if it weren’t for him, Buffy and William would never have met. Deep in his soul he felt the presence of mind to aid in what he was sure needed to happen. The flip side of the that particular coin was simply this; it held too much potential to end in total disaster for both his dear friends, and leave him with the guilt of knowing it never would have happened if it hadn’t been for him to start with. In the end he would he would help in picking up the shattered pieces of their separate lives, by which point he knew... would be beyond repair.
Trusting the message of his inner-voice, he’d come out of his office to find William first, before calling Harmony to inform her Spike would arrive within the hour. It hadn’t taken a song and dance for Lorne to figure out what William was thinking. Couple that with the fact the bottle of booze left on the table he’d previously occupied was considerably lower than a mere three minutes ago.
Resolving to accept the blame for whatever would happen; he went back to his office, dialed Spike’s number and prayed he wasn’t too late.
A/N: Before you review, if you do, all I have to say is have a little faith in me....... please???
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Author's Chapter Notes:
WOW, I got nominated for round 12 in the Spuffy Awards. Whoever nominated me thank you, I feel truly honored that you thought enough of my story, I still haven't scraped myself up off the floor from my shock. As for this chapter, just remember I said it's not all wine and roses.