After the initial shock had worn off, Buffy gathered herself together and headed for the kitchen. Reaching for the phone, her hand stilled while she thought things through. She should be mad as hell, but instead, confused was a better way to describe how she felt right now. Deep down, she really didn’t want to get him in trouble with Lorne, but what was she going to say when he asked her how her evening went... I had a blast. Gave Spike a blow job then he left.
“Shit! Shit, shit, shit!”
---Lorne never asked you to call him.
The slut was right. Lorne hadn’t said anything about calling him after this encounter.
---Take your hand off the phone and think for a minute.
Her hand dropped to her side.
Okay, I’m up for suggestions here.
---Well, I wouldn’t bother saying anything, if Lorne even asks that is.
Of course he’s going to ask. And what kind of suggestion is that? Say nothing? Act as if everything went well?
---Yup.
You’re kidding, right?
---Nope.
So you’re saying let Lorne keep my money and forget tonight ever happened?
---Yup.
Elaborate please.
---The man admitted that he couldn’t pretend with you and you need an explanation? If you can’t see it, then hearing it from me isn’t going to make it any clearer. What do you think he meant? Do you think telling Lorne will change anything?.
She stood there, trying her best to pick apart and analyze everything that happened.
What the hell did he mean ‘I can’t pretend with you’? She hadn’t done anything wrong, had she? She thought he would enjoy her going down on him, and he did cum, so what was the problem? What made her so deficient that he couldn't perform his job?
“Oh my God!” She suddenly figured it out. Sure, he had a great time getting paid for receiving a blow job; he just didn’t want to have to fuck her again. He was sick of pretending she was any good at all. What the hell else could he have meant?
From the second she’d met him everything had been an act on his part; a very convincing act that she was stupid enough to fall for. She couldn’t decide which part was more humiliating, all the dirty things she’d said and done to him, the ‘fake’ compliments he’d paid her over the entire evening, or the fact that her ‘problem’ wasn’t that she couldn’t have an orgasm, it was that she was bad in bed.
She felt a major headache coming on as the weight of her realization sunk in; she was such a lousy lay that not even a paid escort wanted to sleep with her again. Seems the slut was right. If she lied to Lorne then at least she could avoid the embarrassment of explaining this to him. Yes, that’s exactly what she would do, accept her financial loss and forget it ever happened.
“I need sleep.” At least her dreams would be Spike free now. She accomplished what she set out to do tonight. Granted it happened in a fucked up kind of way, but it still happened... he was gone from her life, and that was that.
There was only one problem left that needed taking care of before she could head back to ‘Normalville’. Riley. Friday seemed a long way off now that she was looking forward to it. She would just have to keep herself busy until then, running, painting, hanging out with her friends.
She locked her door and headed for the stairs, never once suspecting that her dreams were far from through being haunting by Spike.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You WHAT!?!?” If it had been anyone other than William, he would have fired them on the spot. Not once did he think it would be William who would crack under the pressure of the situation. It was supposed to be Buffy.
“I know. I fucked up royally.” He quickly envisioned all his dreams going down the tube because he couldn’t control his emotions over one girl. But Lorne didn’t know how he felt about her. If he did, he might understand how hard it was for him to be around her. As it stood now, he fully expected him to call off their deal concerning the restaurant.
“What happened, man?” This outta be interesting, he thought. Whatever happened must have really blown his mind for him to walk out on Buffy like that.
Little did Lorne know just how much truth there was behind that last musing.
“Nothin’. I mean yeah somethin’ happened but... I don’t know.” He hung his head. “Look, I understand if you want to forget `bout our arrangement and the restaurant. What I did was... unprofessional. `M sorry, for what `s worth.”
“Hold on. First of all, I’m not going to break our deal over this, but I WILL need to know what happened. Then,” he leaned back in his chair and sighed heavily while crossing his arms, “I’ll have to talk to Buffy.”
William took in his friend’s serious expression and thanked his lucky stars that he wasn’t giving up on buying Grisanti’s with him. On the other hand, he wasn’t sure how to go about telling him exactly what happened.
“I... she, she did something that made... oh bollocks.” He felt so embarrassed that he didn’t know where to begin.
Lorne felt, in part, responsible for whatever transpired between the two. Even so, he needed to know whether his plan truly failed or not. William had no idea that he knew of his feelings for Buffy, and he couldn’t force him to say anything he wasn’t willing to. He offered up a solution, one he was sure William wouldn’t say yes to, but at least he wouldn’t have to explain himself.
“Look, whatever happened is done and over with now, but if I’m going to figure out how to rectify the situation, then I have to know. If you can’t say then perhaps you could serenade me. We can do it in the office if you want some privacy.”
William looked up, horrified at the very suggestion. If he did that, Lorne would figure it all out and, and... well, he wasn’t sure what he would say. Then again, the thought of having to verbalize what happened equally horrified him. He slumped further into his chair and pulled out a cigarette, resigning himself to allowing Lorne to read him.
“This stays between us?”
“Absolutely, but I must ask, if she wants to see you again, are you willing? Or should I find someone else to replace you?” Lorne knew the answer to this already, but he wanted to make sure William understood the consequences if he chose to refuse.
“Yes, no. I mean, yes, I’m willin’ to see her again.” The thought of her being with anyone else sickened him. Seeing her again would be difficult if she even wanted to, but he’d be damned if he’d allow anyone else to lay their hands on her. “Le’s get this over with.”
Both men stood up and made their way back to Lorne’s office. After shutting the door, he gestured for William to sit while he took his own chair behind his desk.
“What should I sing?”
“Doesn’t matter, hell, you could hum, it all works the same way.”
“Bloody hell, here goes...”
Unable to come up with anything else, he very quickly sang ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat’. The second he finished Lorne broke down laughing.
“I’m sorry. Oh boy, you’ve got it bad, mister.”
He continued giggling which only served to make William feel more uncomfortable. He stood, angry with himself for going along with this idea in the first place.
“I gotta go.”
Before he could push his chair back, Lorne rushed to explain himself.
“Wait, wait. Just sit and hear me out.” He watched his friend run his fingers nervously through his hair several times before sitting back down, looking anywhere in the room except for at him.
“Now,” he leaned his elbows onto the desk and gave William a serious look, “When Buffy calls, which I’m surprised she hasn’t by now, I don’t think she’ll be in one of her ‘humming’ moods. No worries though, we have a little shopping trip planned this weekend and believe me when I say there’s nothing like buying a pair of Jimmy Choo’s to make a girl sing.”
“Can you tell her `m sorry? May not make a difference, but... I jus’ want her to know. ”
“I’ll work it into the conversation somehow, yes. One last thing.” He turned serious. He hated to say it, but there really was no predicting what Buffy would say or ask for once they’d talked, so he needed to prepare William for the heartache should it happen. “You do realize there’s always a chance she may ask for a different escort?” He continued after William nodded, not missing how he fidgeted in his seat. “Our little arrangement is coming to an end here very shortly. There would be nothing stopping you from pursuing her if your feelings remain the same.”
“Not gonna happen, mate.” He couldn’t believe Lorne would suggest such a thing.
“Really? Why? Just because of how you met? You surprise me William, I mean look at you. You could have gone back home at any time to the luxury of your parents money but you didn’t.” He smiled at the confusion that filled his friend’s face.
“`M not follwin’ you.” And indeed he wasn’t. What did that have anything to do with what he felt for Buffy?
“Your passion to make your dream a reality has led you to work for me. I know you hate sleeping with these women, so how is it that you wouldn’t be willing to pursue Buffy if she’s something you want just as much as Grisanti’s?”
“I see what you’re sayin’, but there’s no way Buffy would want me. She’s special. She deserves someone better than jus’ a chef, someone who’s not... tainted.” Lorne had a point, but he was positive Buffy wouldn’t be interested in someone like William, if she could even see past ‘Spike’ and the things, and women, he’d done.
“Isn’t that for her to decide? How can you be so sure if you don’t give yourself a chance? You’re a good man, Will. You have more courage to take a risk than anyone I’ve ever met, so what’s really holding you back?” He could see him retreating inside himself the more he talked. “I’m not trying to give you a hard time, but as your friend, I don’t want you to go the rest of your life wondering ‘what if’.”
“Thanks. I know you mean well, I jus’... I’ll think `bout it. `Kay?”
“Good enough.”
The damage Spike had done wasn’t irreparable; however, it was up to him now to get these two together again. He’d have to use this Saturday’s plans to convince Buffy, somehow. He hated talking shop during his time off, but these were his friends, and he knew how happy they would be if they could just got out of their own way long enough to see it for themselves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Buffy.”
Riley stood up as soon as she entered the restaurant and walked towards her.
He wrapped his arms around her and moved in for a kiss that she avoided by turning to receive it on the cheek instead. She was here to break up with him, and it wouldn’t do to give him the impression everything was normal.
“How are you?” The look in his eyes said he’d caught what she did.
“Better now that you’re here.”
“If you’ll follow me please?”
Buffy turned towards the maître d's voice to discover it was none other than Willow’s boyfriend.
“Oz, how are you?”
The short red haired man smiled back.
“Hey, Buffy. I’ll be better when nine o’clock rolls around.” He pursed his lips.
“Seeing Willow tonight I take it?”
“Yup.” He looked at his watch. “In exactly one hour and twenty two minutes.”
“Not that you’re counting or anything?” She couldn’t help but tease him. She was truly happy Willow had found someone who adored her enough to count the minutes.
“Not that I’m counting.” He shook his head playfully and gestured an arm outward. “Shall I seat you?”
“Thanks.”
Riley kept one arm around her waist as Oz guided them to a table in the middle of the restaurant. After they were seated, she exchanged a few more words with him and turned towards her soon to be ex-boyfriend. He had an odd look on his face.
“Something wrong?”
“Just wondering why you didn’t introduce me to your friend.”
“Oh, sorry. I thought you’d already met Oz at the Bronze.”
He gave her what could only be described as a plastic kind of smile, tight, like he was preoccupied with some other thought.
“No, I haven’t.” He shook his head and the look disappeared. “Don’t worry about it. So what are you in the mood for tonight?”
They settled back to scan their menus, unaware that the chef working that night would soon be in no mood to cook.
Oz knew Buffy was here to dump her boyfriend and thought he’d take the opportunity to see what William thought of her. He agreed with his girlfriend that their respective friends would get along great, but Willow still had yet to get Buffy to agree to a set up. As soon as she did, he promised he would talk to William.
Walking into the back of the kitchen, he found William leaning over a cloud of steam coming from a pan he was shaking vigorously in his left hand while sprinkling herbs over it with his right. As he approached him, William flipped its contents in the air a few times before turning to slide them onto a plate.
“Wassup.” Oz tilted his head up and stuck out his jaw.
“Scallops.”
“Not a seafood man myself.”
“Ah, but you haven’ tried mine, now have you?”
“Good point.” Deciding to make small chat first, he plucked one of the steamy white bits off the plate, shoved it in his mouth and chewed while looking in the air as if thinking.
“Not bad, eh?” William waited for the verdict to come in. Oz was a man of few words, but at least when he spoke it was something worth hearing.
“It’s good. A little hot, but good.”
“S’pose to be, `s the spices.” He didn’t need to defend his work, he knew if Oz didn’t like it he’d come out and say so.
“Speaking of spicy things, there’s a hot little blonde number out there at table twenty seven you should see.”
“Really?” Okay that was kind of weird coming from Oz. “Thought you and Willow were happy.”
“Oh we totally are, I just remembered you like blondes. Come on.” He motioned for him to follow and headed towards the door the waiters usually came in and out of with their orders. Turning around, he waited till William caught up.
“So where’s this bird you’re talkin’ `bout? You know I don’ know what numbers the tabl...” Looking through the doorway he was greeted with a sight he did not expect to see.
“She’s the only chick out there in a yellow dress, to the left.” He pointed a finger straight at Buffy.
William couldn’t speak for a moment. He felt as if he’d been punched in the stomach. There was his girl, sitting with another guy. From the looks of her laughing and talking away, he surmised it must be a date. He tried to remain calm enough to answer Oz when he repeated himself.
“I asked what you thought, man.”
“Yeah, she’s cute. Got a boyfriend from the looks of it though.” He needed to leave. Right now.
Oz drew a confused look and shrugged his shoulders when William walked back into the kitchen. Cute was a start.
All he saw was red. Thinking about Buffy with another man was bad enough, actually seeing her with one had him wanting to storm out there, squeeze the life out of the guy’s throat and drag Buffy from the restaurant by her hair in cave-man style. He seriously didn’t know how the hell he was going to get through what little time he had left on his shift.
He walked straight out the back door into the alleyway and headed for the dumpster. Reaching it, he clenched his jaw muscles tightly then pulled his arm all the way back and landed a punch with such force it left a small dent against the rusty metal. He looked down as his brain registered the pain coming from his bloody knuckles and laughed like a mad man. It seemed he couldn’t escape her no matter what. Cooking at work was the only time he found any form of break from her being in his thoughts. And now here she was, invading the only space left that afforded him that bit of solitude.
No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t leave. He had thirty five minutes before Antonio would come in and take over whatever he hadn’t finished, it was their routine.
“I can do this, I HAVE to do this.” Patting his pockets, he searched for his smokes. The nicotine would help calm him down. “Ah.” Taking them out, he lit one up and inhaled deeply. A few more drags and he’d go back in, then try like hell NOT to go anywhere near the door that led to the dining room.
Twenty five minutes after they were served, Riley had finished his plate. He’d been chatting all through dinner about his week and how much he missed her when he finally gave up. Buffy was still sitting there quietly staring at her plate, twirling her noodles with a fork.
“Buffy, is there something wrong? Buffy?” He finally startled her into looking up. “Are you not feeling well? You haven’t touched very much of your food, babe.”
“Uhm, no. I feel fine; just have a lot on my mind.” Placing her fork on the table she sat back. She knew it was time, but she still dreaded having to do it. She’d been waiting for him to both finish his meal and stop yammering on and on. How she put up with him for even three weeks she didn’t know. Just give me thirty seconds and two deep breaths to say what I have to say and it’s over.
Taking up a sly grin he offered a suggestion as to how he could take her mind off her thoughts.
“Why don’t you come back to my place? I’ll give you a ‘massage’,” he emphasized the word then winked, “take your mind off all your worries for the night.” That got her attention.
Their waiter showed up at that moment so she had to wait until he finished clearing their plates and asking about dessert before she could get to the heart of matters. As soon as he walked away, she leaned both elbows on the table, interlaced her fingers together in front of her and took a deep breath.
“Riley, I... I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“Why is that exactly?”
“Well, with everything going on at the gallery lately, I need to focus more on work. I like you, but I don’t have the time necessary to devote to trying to build or maintain a relationship at this point in my life.” Hey, that only took ten seconds, whewww.
He knitted his brows together.
“Buffy? I can tell you’re stressed right now, and if you think you need to spend more time at work then I understand. So I’m going to forget that even sounded like you were trying to break up with me, cuz that’s not going to solve whatever problems you’ve been facing lately.”
Back in the kitchen............
“`M headin’ out mate.” William grabbed a styrofoam container holding the dinner he’d made himself and saluted Oz, anxious to leave and go have a drink with Lorne.
“Hey, Antonio asked to see you up front before you take off, something about your hours next week.”
Fuck, he thought. He knew Buffy and her date would probably still be there. He’d have to force himself not look their way lest he get the urge to walk over there and make an ass of himself. It wasn’t in his nature to cause a scene, but when it came to Buffy all bets were off. Keeping his head forward, he thanked Oz and said his goodbye’s to everyone else who’d been working that night as he passed them on his way to the front.
“Oh William, I’m glad I caught you before you left. I need you to work...”
Half-listening to his boss, he couldn’t help but notice an unusual hush in the dining room while two clear voices steadily became louder. Antonio kept talking even when Spike looked over in the direction he’d been trying to ignore.
“Riley, have you been listening to anything I’ve said at all?” Frustrated, she slapped her hands on the table a little harder than she intended too, drawing unwanted attention to herself from the other patrons. She lowered her voice. If he didn’t get the message after her third try then she would spell it out for him. “I am not stressed. I am not tired. I don’t have the time OR desire right now for a relationship.”
Riley leaned closer to her from across the table, frustration clearly setting in that she wouldn’t give in to him. His tone of voice took on an aggravated edge to it, making two of the female customers closest to them gasp in shock.
“Why are being such a bitch, Buffy? I’m giving you a chance here to let me take care of you so we can keep what we have.”
“Excuse me?”
Scanning the room for the source of the commotion, William did a double-take when his eyes landed on Buffy and her date. He placed a hand on Antonio’s arm to stop him from talking, after which they both focused on the couple that was quickly becoming the center of attention.
He clearly heard the word ‘bitch’ escape the boy’s mouth along with everyone else in the restaurant and held his breath for Buffy’s reaction. Knowing his girl, she’d put the bloody ponce in his place with that sassy mouth of hers in no time flat. This was going to be a good night after all. Not only had Buffy’s date gone horribly wrong, but he just happened to be standing where he could witness it.
This time she didn’t care who heard her. Even when she saw Oz stop dead in his tracks she continued, her voice becoming both harsh and loud.
“I’m ABOUT to become the world’s biggest bitch if you don’t get it through that THICK. DUMB. Farm-hand head of yours, Rileeeeey,” she drawled his name out to make sure he knew how stupid she thought he really was.
Bloody hell, tha’s Riley? Oh, I wouldn’ miss this for the world.
“I’m breaking up with you, and,” she raised her right hand in front of her chest, “there is nothing you can say that will change my mind.” She sliced her hand through the air in a show of decisiveness as she finished her sentence. “End of story.”
Riley reached out and grabbed her wrist, squeezing it hard enough to make her yelp.
“You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you? That’s why you haven’t been around, haven’t called, didn’t kiss me tonight. You’re fucking somebody else, you little whore.” He tightened his grip, making her wince in pain.
It only took a second after the pillock grabbed Buffy’s arm and William was already half way to their table.
“OW, let go of...”
“`F you know wha’s good for you, mate, you’ll let go of the lady’s arm right now.” His eyes turned deadly. “Or lose yours,” his voice ground out threateningly.
Buffy’s eyes went huge with recognition as she turned towards the familiar voice of her rescuer. There stood Spike, a dangerous expression on his face, poised to launch himself at Riley. She was about to say his name when the owner of the restaurant along with Oz and three other male employees suddenly appeared at his side.
Riley, too, had been surprised enough by the interruption that when his grip loosened, Buffy immediately snatched her hand back and stood up.
“Is there a problem here?” Antonio puffed up his chest; the short, stout little Italian wasn’t having any of this type of behavior in his place.
“N-no.” Riley stammered. Everyone around them could tell the boy was too stunned to say much of anything else.
Buffy felt a gentle hand on her arm, pulling her body behind the small entourage of men in a show of protection. She turned to see it was Oz, who simply nodded once at her as if to say ‘don’t worry’.
“... call the police.”
Buffy picked up the tail end of the owner’s sentence.
“No.” All eyes to include Riley’s turned to her. Feeling the need to get out of there, her words came out rushed. “That won’t be necessary. I’m leaving.” She quickly grabbed her purse and all but ran from the embarrassing situation out the front door, not seeing Spike hot on her heels.
Fumbling in her purse for her keys, she walked as fast as she could towards her car when his voice called out her name.
“Buffy! Buffy wait.”
She turned to see Spike sprinting towards her. Becoming angry, she resumed walking, not even bothering to answer him.
“Buffy, please stop.” He slowed his gait as he neared her and reached out for her arm. The moment his fingertips touched her, she whipped around and glared at him.
“Don’t touch me.” She felt bad for a split second when she saw the shock and hurt in his eyes at her words before her anger quickly returned. “Stay away from me, Spike.” She turned and started walking again. She couldn’t deal with this. It was bad enough what had happened in the restaurant, but throwing him into the mix sent her legs into overdrive with the need to get to her car and drive home.
“Buffy, please. Luv, please stop.” He couldn’t let her leave like this. The need to make sure she was alright overwhelmed him, propelling his legs forwards despite her harsh words and the hurt it filled him with. “BUFFY!” It didn’t look as if she was going to even acknowledge him. She unlocked her doors remotely with her keys and got inside. He stood in front of her car and stared as she turned the ignition over and stepped on the gas, making the engine roar loudly.
Something inside of him snapped at that moment. Quick as lightning he rushed to the passenger door, opened it and got in, slamming it shut behind him.
“What the... get out of my car now, Spike.”
“No.” Now he was the one who was angry. All he wanted was a minute of her time and she wouldn’t even give him that.
“What are doing here anyway?”
Thinking quickly, he held up his styrofoam box.
“Dinner.”
She slumped into her seat and closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath.
“Why can’t you just leave me alone,” she whined the words out like a child. “What is it that you want exactly? I’m tired and I just want to go...” He interrupted her, this time in a soft, pleading voice.
“Buffy, look at me, please.”
She opened her eyes and turned her whole body sideways towards him.
“Are you alright? He didn’ hurt you, did he? Cuz if he did I’ll...”
“You’ll what? Go beat him up? That’s not necessary, I’m fine. So if that’s it, then please...” She paused to sigh heavily. “Please,” she begged “Get out of my car.”
“No. Tha’s not it.” He was desperate for her to forgive him for the other night, and he wasn’t leaving until she at least heard what he had to say. “I-I want to apologize... for the other night. I shouldn’ have...”
He never got to finish before Buffy shot back at him with an angry voice.
“Well you did. So save it, I don’t want to hear your excuse.”
“Wha’s your problem?” God, she was being difficult.
“My problem? My PROBLEM?” She pointed at herself and raised her voice. “You should know seeing that you’re the one who made me aware of it the other night.” The confused look on his face made her even angrier. “You’ve made it clear that you don’t ever want to see me again, so spare me the lame attempt at apologizing.”
He couldn’t believe his ears. How the hell had she managed to twist his hasty departure into meaning he didn’t want to see her again?
“`S that what you think?” He asked incredulously. “Buffy, tha’s not...”
“Isn’t it? Oh I think it is, so don’t bother pretending it’s anything but. You can take this ‘ACT’ with you and get the hell away from me. I don’t need your pity and I DON’T need you. There are plenty of guys out there who want to be with me, ones I don’t need to pay to...” She didn’t bother to finish that sentence, the look on his face indicated he knew all too well what she was implying.
She was so determined to shut him out and believe what she wanted that he knew there was nothing he could do or say to convince her otherwise. He opened the passenger door and stepped out. Bending over, he looked her straight in eyes.
“You’re wrong.” Standing upright, he slammed her door shut and watched as she peeled out of the parking lot. She was so strong-willed and stubborn that not even Lorne would be able to get through to her with Spike’s apology, he was sure of it.
A/N: Not a happy chapter, but I can promise the next 2-3 WILL be of the feel-good variety. No angst, and no cliffhangers, just fun, and dare I say... romance? Till next posting, drop me a line to let me know what you think and remember, it’s always darkest before the dawn. Wouldn’t be spuffy if our couple got together too quickly, so if that’s what your looking for, you won’t find it here, sorry.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
As some you already know, I had the flu-bug bad last week, and well, add that to RL obligations with my two young ones and I just couldn’t post any sooner. Someone asked if I had a set schedule as far as posting goes, and to be honest, no I don’t. I try to at least once a week, but if I don’t, just know that it won’t be abandoned. A huge thank you to whoever nominated Tailored Encounters over at Love’s Last Glimpse Awards, again, I’m beyond flattered. This story is my first and therefore my baby, and I’m just so happy that all the readers are enjoying it just as much as I do writing it, so thank you all for the support and the lovely reviews. Oh, one tiny spoiler before you read... your fist impression of Buffy’s inner slut (her statement), will be the correct one, remember, she’s her higher conscious and sees things for what they are. Enjoy.