“Buffy?!?!” His smile quickly faded when he saw her pissed off expression. She didn’t give him any time to get over the initial shock to even ask how she found out where he lived.
“Here!” She took all the flowers and shoved them into his arms. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Spike, but I said I needed time to think and this attempt at trying to say you’re sorry isn’t giving me the space I need, so please... just stop.” Looking at his face, she could see she’d hurt his feelings again and it made her mad. This time, however, rather than say anything more she might regret, she turned around and started down the stairs, intent on leaving.
He was stunned. Never in a million years could he have predicted she would show up at his door and throw his efforts back in his face. When she turned to walk away he took the steps two at a time, bounding past her then blocking her path.
“Wait! Please, I didn’ mean to...” She rolled her eyes at him and laughed sarcastically.
“Of course not. You never MEAN to do any of it, do you? Do me a favor and get the hell out of my way.” She put a hand on her hip and stood there waiting impatiently as he shook his head no.
“Can’ do that. I know you’re mad at me right now and `m willing to face that, but I need you to forgive me... please?” He begged.
“Fine.” She threw her hands up in the air. “I forgive you. Now move. I’m tired, I’m hungry, my head hurts, I just... want to go home, Spike.” She trailed off.
She did sound tired. Everything about her appearance screamed she’d gotten no more sleep than he had last night. She was wearing makeup, but the circles under eyes and the crease between her brows made him feel even worse.
“Come inside. Jus’ for five minutes, tha’s all. Five minutes. Then if you still want to go... I won’ stop you, I promise.” He stood there watching her contemplate his request. “I’ll get somethin’ for your headache, yeah?”
After a few seconds she pinched the bridge of her nose and nodded. She really could use something for the pain filling her head. “Five minutes, then I’m gone.”
“Right then.” He unblocked her path and gestured an arm back to his apartment. Following her up the stairs, he waited until they were both inside before offering to take her coat.
“That won’t be necessary. I’m not staying.” She realized she was being cold and curt, but she needed to avoid touching him at all costs. That always led to a hard time controlling her body’s reaction and she needed to remain focused.
“Make yourself comfortable, I’ll be right back.” He pointed towards the living room and tried not to take her words to heart. She wasn’t trying to be mean, she was obviously drained from a long day at work and his plan only succeeded in aggravating her rather than make her happy.
Taking a seat on a large, dark brown L-shaped couch, she looked around. It was a surprisingly spacious loft devoid of any walls separating the rooms except for one at the far end where she assumed the only other door in the place must lead to a bathroom. Right next to it laid a set of four steps that wrapped around in a square dais. At the top of it, there were sheer dark colored curtains hanging down, concealing something. She tried to stare through them to see what lay on the other side, but couldn’t quite make it out from this distance. Looking to her left, there was an old looking upright piano with several books of music opened up on its console desk. Her curiosity was instantly peaked as it was apparent that he played. She was about to get up and see what type of music it was when she heard his footsteps on the hardwood floor coming back towards her.
“All I have is regular aspirin. I hope it’ll do.”
“Its fine, thanks.” Taking the two white pills and the water from him, she gratefully swallowed the medicine down then handed the glass back. He smiled then backed up to sit across from her in a leather recliner.
“Look. I know I mucked things up and `m sorry. I jus’... I only wanted to make things right between us, honest.” He watched her expression go soft for a split second before being replaced with one of frustration.
“I know. And I’m sorry for slapping you and jumping to the wrong conclusion last night and for acting like a bitch right now. But you have to understand something, Spike.”
“William.” He corrected her. He didn’t like that she seemed to distance herself from him by using that name.
“William. You have to realize... there IS no us. We are NOT a couple. The only relationship we’ve ever had is a business one.” Shit, he looked absolutely crushed the second she finished her sentence.
“Sooooo, what you’re sayin’ is this past weekend meant nothin’ to you?” He’d call her liar if she dared to say yes. There was no mistaking the connection he felt they’d made. “You were payin’ for my company and not my pleasure was... all jus’ a sham?”
“No, I meant that. What I felt... what I feel...” Her mind briefly ran over everything they’d done within those two days and then back to last night. “I don’t know what I feel. Thus the whole,” she spread her arms wide, “needing time thing. I’m sorry if I sound cruel, but in your line of work, there’s no room for, for... feelings on my end or yours. It’s not fair to either of us.”
“Don’ you think I know that?” He got up and went over to kneel before her, forcing her to look at his face. “Don’ you think I’ve tried?”
“Try harder,” she begged. It would make everything so much easier if he would just stop caring about her so she could walk away from all this.
“I did. I tried to pretend you were jus’ another job, nothin’ more than another one of those selfish bitches bored with their sex life. So I played the part, put on an act, told m’self you were usin’ me jus’ like them.” He paused to run a hand over his face. “That night when I came to your house, dressed up... tha’s when I knew I couldn’ pretend anymore. You were s’pose to be one paycheck closer to buy...” He caught himself before he said too much.
She sat there and stared at him, waiting. He was about to say something. Something she was sure she needed to hear about his purpose behind being an escort. Instead he fell silent. Until he could come forward and give her some insight, a reason to hold on, she didn’t see the sense in hanging around.
“Your five minutes are up.” She stood. “I’m lea... I’m,” she suddenly felt dizzy. Placing a hand to her head, she fell backwards.
He was there in a flash, making sure he caught her and lowered her back to the couch.
Opening her eyes, she was met with a face full of concern.
“Buffy!” He couldn’t help the tone of alarm in his voice, she looked positively pale. “You’re not goin’ anywhere, at least not right now. Lie back, pet.” He tried to wrap his arms around her.
“I’m fine.” She pushed him away. “I just... stood up too fast.” She tried to stand again but sat right back down as soon as another wave of dizziness threatened to overtake her.
“Like hell. I can’ let you leave till `m sure you’re alright. What `f you pass out on your way home, get into a wreck? Stay put.” He left her side and hurriedly brought her another glass of water. “When’s the last time you ate anythin’?”
“Uhmm,” she had to think. When was the last time she ate? “Last night.” She sat up straight to drink some of the water he offered her. “I think.”
“Christ, luv.” He grabbed her purse from out of her hands and walked off towards the kitchen.
“Hey!” she shouted. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Already told you. `M not lettin’ you leave `til `m sure you’re feelin’ better. You haven’ eaten, you’re overtired and the fact you have a headache tells me you’re dehydrated. Jus’ let me take care of you alright? `M not gonna argue with you anymore tonight, you’ll jus’ get more upset.” He laid her purse down on the counter then came back to the couch, forcing her to lie down. “It’ll jus’ take me a bit to whip somethin’ up. Rest.” He raised her head and placed a throw pillow underneath her. “Please don’ fight me on this.”
His look of concern melted her heart. She nodded in consent, making him smile. He bent down and kissed her forehead gently.
“Be right back.”
She watched him walk away and listened to the sounds of things clanking in the kitchen as he went about making her something to eat, the warmth from his lips sinking in to soothe the dull ache in her head. She knew he was right. She hadn’t eaten, hadn’t slept well, she didn’t trust herself to drive home at this point either. It felt weird yet comforting at the same time, knowing she needed someone to look after her.
He was worried, genuinely worried about her. The last thing he wanted to do was hold her here against her will, but she looked, well, bloody awful, truth be told. Rather than take the time to actually cook for her, he opened a can of soup and quickly heated it in the microwave. Grabbing some crackers and a spoon, he placed them on a tray and went back to where she lay with her eyes closed, her hand resting on her forehead. He set the tray down on an end table and sat on the edge of the couch next to her waist.
“Sit up.”
Buffy didn’t realize she was drifting off to sleep until she felt a pair of strong arms try and raise her into a sitting position. Once William had helped her up, she struggled to keep her eyes open, staring at the tray he set over her legs.
“Eat.” He felt guilty for rousing her from the sleep she seemed to need so desperately, but she also needed something in her stomach and more color in her cheeks before he’d let her attempt driving home. “I know you wanna leave, but if you’re not feelin’ any better after this, I’ll call a cab or somethin’, yeah?”
She looked into his eyes, trying to read him. He meant it, really meant it.
“Okay.” She tried to sit up further but slumped back. Her body felt like shit. She simply had no energy left to even be interested in food. “I don’t know if I can eat this, William, I’m sorry. I’m just too tired.”
“Then I’ll feed you.” She opened her mouth to argue but he cut her off. “Don’ tell me no, you need to eat and I won’ let you leave till you do.”
For the next ten minutes she let him feed her. He forced every last bite of food on her and another glass of water before finally taking the tray away. She lay back down and closed her eyes, hoping to feel better once everything settled in her stomach. When he came back to sit with her, he lifted her head and gently placed it on his lap and began stroking her hair.
“You didn’t have to do all that. I’ll be alright to leave in a few minutes.” She looked up into his face, concern and tenderness marking his every feature.
“I don’ mind. As for you leavin’,” he sighed, “whenever you prove to me that you can stand without gettin’ dizzy, I won’ hold you here.” He watched her smile, wishing more than anything she would stay. “If you can’, well then, you’re welcome to stay the night. I don’ think `s a good idea for you to be alone if you’re still not feelin’ right. Don’ worry,” he added before she got the wrong idea. “I don’ have any ulterior motive other than for you to rest. I promise.”
She offered him a weak smile. “I really am a bitch, aren’t I?”
“What? Of course not. You can be right difficult and stubborn sometimes but you’re no bitch.”
“Anya, my friend. She said I was... that I couldn’t... Never mind.” She saw he was confused, but rather than explain, she opted to just apologize. “I’m sorry, William.”
“For what, luv? You’ve got nothin’ to be sorry `bout.”
“Yes, I do. The flowers, the cake... it really was very sweet of you. And all I could think about is where the money came from to buy them.” Maybe if she just asked, he might open up a little. Tell her something. She sat up, despite his insistence to keep her down to rest.
He understood perfectly that she would think the money he spent had come from working for Lorne. Of course it wasn’t, but she didn’t know that.
“I’m okay, really.” He helped push her upright. Instead of swinging her legs forward, she chose to sit Indian style, facing him with her hands in her lap. “There are things I want to know, about you. You understand that... don’t you?” She watched his chest heave as he drew in a deep breath then exhaled loudly.
“Buffy, I-I... oh sod it.” He couldn’t lay everything on her now, not after seeing how tired she was, but he’d at least let her know that he would, soon. “You’re right. There’s a lot you need to know but `m... scared. Petrified if you must know and now isn’ the time. Please understand. I have every intention of tellin’ you everythin’, but not tonight. And no, the money I spent today didn’ come from where you’re thinkin’ either.”
Give him another week, two at most and he would tell her everything. He knew it might be a tad old fashioned, but his upbringing, his belief system wouldn’t allow for him to enter into a relationship with the girl of his dreams without washing his hands of the dirty business he was involved with completely. The restaurant was his ticket, his ticket to earning an honest living and having a means of stability to offer her. Right now he was nothing. He had nothing. He didn’t want to burden her and be some vagabond of a boyfriend.
This was not what she’d wanted to hear but what could she do? She couldn’t force it out of him and threatening or begging would be ridiculous and juvenile. She still needed the time she asked him for to figure out her own feelings, but even more important she needed those answers in order to make some decisions. About him, about them... if there could ever be ‘a them’. They were two people suspended in some weird form of limbo and she didn’t like that feeling, of not knowing, of not having a definition of what they were in the here and now. She only knew what they weren’t; they weren’t a couple, they weren’t friends and they damn sure weren’t lovers. She still didn’t know what exactly occurred between them last night in that alley but setting that aside, she’d paid him for sex... every time.
“I may not like it and I’ll try to understand but I’m not going to lie to you either and say I’m a patient person... because I’m not.”
He placed a hand over the one in her lap, gently rubbing his thumb in circles over it. “I won’ disappoint you.”
She wanted to believe him, wanted to because he seemed genuinely sincere. But her past experience with men made that a difficult task. Throw in the circumstances surrounding how they met and it only compounded the problem. All she could do was sit back and hope he would tell her soon, because she couldn’t and wouldn’t wait forever.
He gently squeezed her hand. “I really think you should stay the night and get some rest. `M worried `bout you drivin’, pet.” She frowned at him so he assured her, “I’ll stay on the couch, let you have the bed.”
“Before I say yes, answer me one question,” she turned a look on him that conveyed her seriousness. “And tell me the truth.”
“Anythin’.”
“I need to know. Do you, have you... what I mean to say is have you ever brought any women to your place? To sleep with? For money?” She watched him breathe a sigh of relief.
“Christ, pet. Is that what you’re worried `bout?”
She watched him run his fingers through his hair several times. By this time, she knew that to be a sign she was dead wrong in her assumptions. And she thanked God for it, too.
“I swear to you. No woman, no CLIENT, no one but me has ever been in my bed. You’ll be the first, the ONLY one, I promise. And if it takes me provin’ it to you, then I’ll do it. I don’ know how, but I’ll do it.”
“Okay.” That’s all she could say. She believed him. He’d have to be one hell of a liar above and beyond his profession to be able to lie straight to her face as he spoke those words.
“Okay?”
“Okay. You don’t have to prove it to me.” Her smile broadened. “If you don’t mind, I’m tired now, William. I feel better, but to be honest, I didn’t get much sleep last night, so if...”
“Of course, of course. Say no more.” He stood and raised her gently by the arms to stand; waiting until he was sure she remained steady before letting go. “Come on then. Let’s get you somethin’ to sleep in.” He was glad when she finally took off her coat and shoes. She looked amazing in her little black pin striped outfit that resembled a man’s business suit; however her delicate, womanly curves filled it out nicely, making her body appear so sensual, so alluring, so... He had to shake the naughty thoughts that instantly had his cock hardening to press against his zipper as he led her towards the back of his apartment, letting her go to pull the curtains aside to reveal his bed.
“Sit,” he instructed her while pointing. He turned to fish through his drawers in search of anything she could wear that might make her feel more comfortable. “Here. `S not much, but it should fit. What time do you need to wake up, five, six o’clock?”
“Six is fine.” She smiled. It seemed William was shining through bright and clear while Spike was nowhere to be seen. She, admittedly, liked them both despite the huge contrast. Each side to his personality had its strengths as well as weaknesses but they made the whole of the man that stood before her now. The one who had taken care of her tonight, whose intentions in the gifts he’d given her were sincere, the one who’d tried his best to reassure her he would reveal everything she wanted to know... She sighed. It would be too easy to overlook what he did for a living when she had thoughts like that, so she set them aside, determined to just get a good night’s sleep.
“The bathroom is through there.” He left her alone until she disappeared behind the door. Once it clicked shut, he quickly grabbed a pair of sweat pants and changed into them, shoving his dirty clothes into the laundry basket nearby.
When she reappeared, he held his breath. The light from the bathroom shone through the thin fabric of his white T-shirt that barely hung mid thigh on her, illuminated the fact she was wearing nothing more than her knickers underneath. He turned away, determined not to let her affect his raging hormones any further. He opened the covers of his bed and beckoned her to sit.
Oh, she knew she was being a bit of a temptress, but she wanted to test him, to know for sure that he wasn’t just trying to get her into his bed for any other purpose than to sleep. When he acted as if he didn’t notice she hadn’t donned the sweatpants he’d leant her, she walked forward and slid underneath the covers, pleased yet disappointed at the same time.
He tucked her in like a child and sat on the edge of the bed. “Sleep well.”
“Thank you. For everything.” She closed her eyes against a quick yet tender kiss to her forehead.
“You’re welcome. I’ll get up with you when the alarm goes off, make you some breakfast?” he cocked an eyebrow questioningly, hoping she’d say yes.
“Only if you make another one of those yummy omelets like you did at my place.” She grinned, grateful they could leave the seriousness of their conversation behind for now.
He chuckled at her. “I’ll make you a better one, how’s that?” It made him feel good to know she would stick around for breakfast. She needed more in her stomach and he welcomed another chance to cook for her.
“Sounds great.”
Standing to leave, he gave her a warm smile then drew the curtains back into place to give her some privacy. The sparkle in her eyes made him want to crawl right under the blanket and stay with her, hold her close, but he couldn’t. It was way too much of a temptation, being that close to her body, especially since she’d chosen not to wear the sweatpants.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twenty minutes later, when he was sure Buffy must be sleeping, he lowered his sweatpants just below his hips and raised his shirt. Despite the long hours of the day making him sleepy, his erection cried out for attention and wouldn’t go away until he did something about it.
Taking his shaft into both hands, he squeezed hard, imagining Buffy rising and falling above him, her slender form taking his length into her warm, soft body, contracting around him tightly, massaging him...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
She should be sleeping. Should be but couldn’t. William’s bed was comfortable but far too big, making her feel small. She wished he would have stayed with her; she slept so much better when he’d held her a few nights ago. The object of her inner turmoil lay just a few yards away. Maybe she should get up and go ask him. No, definitely not. That would lead to other things, it always did with him; they were addicted to each other on a physical level that neither possessed the will to restrain against all better judgment.
Turning on her side, she was determined to try and sleep. She smiled as she inhaled his unique scent from the pillow. She shuffled it around so she could hold it close, hoping his smell would help lull her to sleep.
A few seconds had passed after she closed her eyes when she thought she heard something. She ignored it at first until it happened again. Raising her head up she tried to tune into the source. The sound was muffled, so she couldn’t figure out what it was; only that it came from the direction where William lay sleeping.
There it was again, only this time a little clearer. It sounded like whimpering or something. Was he having a bad dream? Should she wake him? She got up slowly and pulled the curtain back, straining her eyes towards the couch. Damn, all she could see was the back of it.
She waited until her eyes adjusted so she wouldn’t trip over anything then tiptoed as quietly as possible towards him. The closer she got, the clearer the noises he was making became. His breathing was labored, coupled with a moan every now and then.
“Ahh, Buffy.”
She stopped dead in her tracks. There was no doubt in her mind. He was dreaming about her and from the sounds of it, it was a bad dream. As she crossed the next few feet, she swore she heard a funny thumping noise.
In the midst of his fantasy, he heard the sound of creeping footsteps coming towards him. Shit! He was about to stop what he was doing and pull his pants up, pretend to be asleep... then changed his mind just as quickly and kept stroking his cock. She’d seen him wank off before, so what would it matter if she saw it again? The evil side of him found the situation irresistible. He’d simply pretend he didn’t hear her, didn’t know she was standing there. Let her have one hell of a peep show. It would serve her right for wearing nothing but his T-shirt and her knickers, giving him that wickedly sinful view of her body right before she climbed into his bed. She’d made him hard as nails, forcing him to be noble and find release on his own. Oh yeah, he was going to torture her good.
The second she rounded the end of the couch, her breath caught in her throat. Oh my GOD!!! Stretched out on the couch with his pants pulled slightly down, she watched as William pumped the full length of his cock, his face furrowed in ecstasy, eyes closed. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from the erotic sight. He called her name out in whispered tones as he touched himself, making her panties instantly wet.
“Fuck! Feels so good, Buffy.” It was turning him on to know she was watching. Turning him on and spurring him on to taunt her by talking dirty.
“Ride me, kitten, uhnn... jus’ like that.” Moving his hand faster, he moaned a little more then spoke again. “Tha’s it baby, cum for me. Feels so bloody good on my cock when you cum.” If he wasn’t working himself up into a sexual frenzy, he would love to be a fly on the wall right now just to see the expression on her face.
She thought for sure she was going to cum, just from watching him. Her own breathing picked up but she kept herself in check not to make a sound. What would she do if he suddenly opened his eyes and discovered her standing there?
Suppressing the urge to end the charade and ask her if she wouldn’t mind helping a bloke out, he focused all his attention on the position he was fucking her in inside his mind; her beautiful tits bouncing in front of his face while he sat on the couch, both hands cupping her ass forcing her to ride him hard, helping to bring them both off.
She needed to retreat back to bed quickly. It looked as if he was nearing orgasm. Once he was done, she knew he would have to clean himself off, and she’d be caught for sure.
Too late. Her eyes widened as his hand nearly blurred from the insane speed of his strokes. His hips rode up in the air, jerking as thick ropes of cum shot out onto his stomach, eyes screwed shut, biting his lip in an obvious effort to prevent crying out. The second his hand slowed down, she turned around and tiptoed at lightning speed back towards his bed.
Smiling to himself, he heard her leave. He also heard the slight creak from his bed as she got back into it. Sleep well, luv. I know I will... now. Yeah, he was being evil, but it was worth it.
She buried her face in his pillow, hoping it muffled the sound of her panting. Her thong was soaked through and she was horny as hell. There was only one thing she could do. Resort to using her fingers and bring herself some release. No way was she going to go to him now. Not because he just had his own orgasm, but he would know she was listening in, it would be too coincidental and embarrassing on her part.
Rolling onto her back, she slid a hand beneath her panties and closed her eyes. She teased her slit with two fingers, imagining it was William doing it while flashing her that sexy smirk of his. Pinching a nipple through the fabric of his T-shirt, her mind weaved a fantasy that soon had his head between her thighs.
A frustrating ten minutes later and she was no closer to having an orgasm than Monica Lewinsky was to getting that stain out of her dress.
Figures. This must be some kind of cosmic karma torture thingy or something. To be that turned on, unable to find release and have the only man alive on earth who could do anything about it within walking distance... sound asleep. I’m being punished.
A/N:I wish I could make a promise as to when I’ll update again, but with family coming soon for the holidays I can’t predict how much time I’ll have to write. My husband will also be home shortly for two weeks before heading back to Iraq for the next several months. In saying that, I’m sure he’ll want my undivided attention and of course how can I refuse? He’s the only one that can itch my scratch at present, *giggles*, and well... that itch is about 4 months old now since he left the country. If anyone would like me to notify them of updates for this story, drop me a line with your email either through a review, or by contacting me through this website. I recently had someone ask me about a notification system, and since I don’t know of any other than if you’re a registered author here I thought I’d create an email ring if anyone is interested. I also realized that I screwed up in my a/n of last chapter (ooops)... here is where i wanted to let people know that Buffy is not pregnant - stemming from her dizzy spell, I didn't want anyone to misinterpret that. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.