It lasted seconds, at least ten. Ten long and very agonizing seconds before the couple broke apart. The kissing, the groping, it was all so... awkward. Buffy was so sure the chemistry was there but when they kissed... she couldn’t have been more wrong. Their hands, lips, bodies fumbled, trying to make it happen but there was no magic, no sparks, no nothing... just the worst kiss she’d probably ever experienced in her life. And it was the same for Wesley.
They backed away from each other, each clearing their throats in obvious embarrassment.
“Uhmm, yeah. Well, that was-” she started.
“I should be... going then. Y-yes.”
“Right.”
They didn’t even bother looking at one another as she escorted him out of her house. The second she closed the door, a huge groan escaped her. She should have known something like this would happen. Her luck with men was still the same, whether Wesley was merely rebound-guy or not.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained I suppose. With that final thought, she headed upstairs for yet another night of Mr. Gordo. It looked like Duracell’s stock was going to rise over the next week... or two... or three.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The smell of London’s air went a long way in soothing William’s spirit. Sadly, however, it didn’t last upon his arrival at his Uncle’s estate.
“My dear boy, I must say... I’m quite proud that you’ve secured the future you’ve wanted for yourself, but... why on earth are you here?” Rupert couldn’t understand. His nephew should be happy. Yet here he was, looking and acting as if it were a burden rather than a blessing.
“I jus’ needed a holiday. Some time off.” He shrugged as the servants took his bags up to his old quarters.
“You’re, of course, always welcome here anytime and for any reason. Jenny has set herself about in a tizzy as to your arrival. She’s most insistent that however long your stay, you’re to be made as comfortable as possible. If you feel up to it, she would like to receive you?”
“Of course, Uncle.” He hadn’t been away so long that he’d forgotten his English manners and the customs associated with family receiving him in proper fashion. He would go through the motions, as it were, and give his Aunt the polite conversation that was expected.
What he should have done instead was to prepare himself for the woman of Romanian descent keen perception.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I know how to conduct myself in this situation, William, so you’ll forgive me when I don’t,” Jenny began, ready to voice her concern. He looked terrible and she could see it had little to do with his long journey. He was so unlike the enthusiastic and driven man Rupert had raised. The dark clothes and bleached hair looked to her like something he was trying desperately to hide behind and it didn’t sit well with her. “Your sudden arrival and with such good news as to your recent accomplishment is wonderful but I have to ask... why are you here rather than the States, attending your affairs?”
William set aside his tea and sighed. It would be all too easy to give some dull explanation as to his sudden decision to come back home. But, in what little time he’d known Jenny, he knew he couldn’t get much past the gypsy without being caught in an outward lie.
“Oh sod it.” They were his only family, so truth was best. “`M in love.”
“Well that’s wonderful news, old boy,” Rupert meant to prattle on but Jenny cut him off.
“You look more like you’re suffering a broken heart.”
“Oh, good Lord. J-Jenny, dear, that’s a bit... personal. I’m quite sure if William has something more he’d like to share, he will.” He turned to his nephew. “Do forgive me for speaking as if you aren’t present.”
He waived it off. “`S alright. `S the truth. I fell in love, messed up and now she’s gone.” Yup, that about summed it up.
“I’m so sorry, William.” She reached out to touch his arm gently. “You have such a good soul. I can’t imagine what you think you must have done to-”
“No. Tha’s where you’re wrong. I wasn’ upfront, wasn’... honest with Buffy.”
She could see he was being harsh with himself, much harsher than was probably necessary.
“This... Buffy. Is there any chance of repairing the damage you feel you’ve done?”
“I tried.” His voice croaked, partly from how tired he was but also out of frustration. “But it came too late, I waited too long and she’s already, she’s already.... moved on.”
“I see.” There was something ‘off’, she could sense it. She knew what she was going to ask bordered on rude, but she cared for him just as much as her husband did and to see him in such obvious pain, well, it was hard to just sit back and watch. Holding her hand out, palm up, she asked, “May I?”
“Jenny,” Rupert said her name harshly. “That is most inappropriate however well intentioned you are.”
“I realize that, but it’s his decision, Rupert, not yours.” He huffed at her in disapproval.
William looked into her caring brown eyes. Should he? Should he give her his hand and let her ‘read’ him? What few times the gypsy ever used her gift on him it was always with his consent and well-being in mind. Besides, it wasn’t like she could tell what he’d been doing in the States anyway, so there was no fear in her discovering he’d been an escort, only that he had engaged in less than honest dealings.
“You wouldn’ like what you’d see, luv.”
She offered him a smile. “This isn’t about judgment. It’s about possibilities.”
He politely declined and the subject was dropped. It wouldn’t matter what possibilities Jenny might find, it wasn’t going to change Buffy’s mind. He didn’t want any illusions either, any source of hope Jenny might offer him. It was best to let it all go, even if his heart never fully healed, time would at least, hopefully, dull the pain.
Once he excused himself to retire, Jenny turned to Rupert.
“He’s going to get lost, Rupert.”
“My dear.” He patted her hand. “He came here as a means of retreat. He’s a grown man who needs time to reflect on whatever has happened and come to terms with it.”
She shook her head emphatically. “He won’t give himself the chance. We have to keep an eye on him.” She didn’t want to say what she picked up from her natural physic abilities. She only hoped it wouldn’t happen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two weeks. Two whole weeks since Spike had last called her house. She should have been relieved, been grateful he gave her what she wanted... to never see or hear from him again. So why was she spending most of her time lately wondering where he was? She half expected him to show up at her house unannounced or the gallery after the phone calls had stopped but he hadn’t. He was normally so persistent when it came to her and now it was like he’d dropped off the face of the earth. Had something terrible happened to him? Should she swallow her pride and at least call Lorne to make sure he wasn’t lying in some hospital bed hurt or ill?
“...Buffy?”
"Huh?”
She was hanging out at Willow’s tonight along with Oz, watching movies and feeling very much like a third wheel.
“Are you alright?” Buffy had been acting like she wasn’t even there, periodically getting lost in her own thoughts.
“I’m fine,” she smiled brightly despite Willow’s doubtful look. “Really. Just work on the brain, sorry.” They were sitting on the floor, affording them a bit of privacy when Willow leaned forward to ask.
“Is this about ‘he who shall not be named’?” Buffy broke down after being interrogated one night as to why she was rarely around and confirmed it was because she’d been seeing someone. She wouldn’t give her any of the details other than her ‘affair’ was intense, brief and ‘so over’.
“No!” She acted surprised. “A very sound and definite no. Besides,” leaning back on her elbows, she made it look like she had nothing to hide by letting Oz hear her talk. “I’m back in the dating game.” Willow crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “Just because Wesley didn’t work out doesn’t mean I’ve taken myself off the market.” Actually, it did. She had taken herself off the market after realizing her inner slut had been right. She was the one acting like a whore.
“I still think you should let Oz set you up with his friend at work.”
“You mean William?” he asked his girlfriend. She nodded. “You two would have really hit it off. He’s a good guy.” Willow snuggled against his leg and looked up at him with doe eyes.
“Maybe you can talk to him again? Get him to agree and at least meet Buffy?”
“Oh no,” Buffy interrupted. “No blind dates.” Her friend turned a pleading look on her.
“It doesn’t have to be a date. You could, you know... come to the restaurant with me to eat when Oz is working and at least be introduced. That’s harmless and non-date-y like. Right, honey?” She smiled as Oz played with a strand of her hair.
“It would if he were around.”
“He’s not back yet?”
Oz shook his head. “No one knows when either.”
Willow frowned briefly then turned back to Buffy. “Well, whenever he does, you’ll finally get to meet the man who makes your favorite dessert.”
“What did you say?” Buffy’s voice was barely above a whisper. Everyone knew her favorite dessert was the sinful chocolate cake that came from Grisanti’s.
“You know, Chocolate Indulgence... whatever. That’s William’s creation.”
There was a huge lump threatening to choke off Buffy’s air supply. She tried to sound casual even when Oz looked at her funny. “Decadence,” she corrected her. “Chocolate Decadence Cake?”
“That’s the one.”
“And you said he’s... gone? Like on vacation or something?”
“Not exactly.” Oz saw something in her eyes, something akin to a revelation. “We think something must have happened in his family.”
“Why do you think that?”
The sudden interest she showed for a girl who was previously unwilling to meet William struck him as more than odd. “Because it was a few days after he purchased Grisanti’s that he upped and left. Only Antonio and the co-owner have any clue as to why.”
“You say he... he bought Grisanti’s? As in owns it?” After he nodded, he continued to talk but Buffy tuned him out. Her heart was thundering in her chest as pieces of the puzzle came rushing together.
The cake, the restaurant, the fact he was there the night Riley went psycho on her, how when he cooked for her he made it look as natural as breathing... He created the cake, he bought the restaurant, he suddenly left and no one knew why...
“I-gotta-go,” she blurted out a little too loudly, interrupting Oz and turning Willow’s attention on her.
“Oh? O-okay,” Willow responded a little bewildered. “Are you feeling alright?”
“As a matter of fact,” she stood quickly and gathered her purse and coat. “I think I’m going to be violently ill.”
She ignored the look on both their faces, offering them nothing more of an explanation, just a simple ‘I’ll talk to you later’ before closing the door.
“What do you think that was all about?” Willow asked.
“I can’t be a hundred percent sure, but I think we just found out who ‘he who shall not be named’ is.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy was shaking uncontrollably on the drive back to her house. By the time she pulled in the driveway, she couldn’t remember making the turns necessary to get home. Her mind was racing. Frantically trying to remember the many conversations she’d had with Spike, the exact words he’d used when they discussed his goal.
She ran inside and went straight for the phone, hitting ‘play’ to listen to the messages before being reminded by the automated voice, ‘no messages’.
“Damnit,” she cried for having erased them. “Think Buffy, think.” There were still unanswered questions, issues like the whole STD thing. But the results came back negative, she reminded herself. “THINK!” she cried out to herself.
Glancing around the kitchen as if it held the answer, she knew she had to talk to Spike. “Erghh!” She didn’t have his number and he was, he was... gone. Home. Did that mean England?
There was only one person she could think of that would know where he was and could answer her remaining questions. Her fingers trembled as she hit ‘talk’ on her cell phone.
“Buffy?”
“Yeah, Lorne, it’s me. Look, I’m really sorry about what happened and I do want your forgiveness but I-”
“Whoa, whoa. Slow down, pumpkin.” She was talking too fast. “I’m not upset with you, I’m really not. But you need to take a deep breath for me and start again.”
“You’re not?” He should be.
“Lorne sees more than you could possibly imagine and I understand why you thought you’d been deceived. Don’t worry yourself about that. I’m just glad you called me, sugar-pie. Now what has you acting as if you had one espresso too many?”
“It’s Spike, er, I mean William. Lorne,” she felt close to tears. “Where is he? I really need to talk to him. I think, I-I,” this time a sob did escape her. “Where,” sniff. “I need t-to... There’s things. Thi-” sniff. “I found out and...”
“Where are you right now? At home?” She choked out a ‘yes’. “Stay put. I’m on my way over.”
“But-” he’d hung up. That would take two hours. She didn’t want to wait two hours, couldn’t wait two hours. It had already been two weeks. She pulled herself together long enough to go to her room and change into a pair of baggy sweats. There was nothing she could think of to keep herself from going crazy while she waited except for maybe some late night television. Arghhh! She felt like she was going to crawl out of her own skin and then explode as she made her way back down the stairs.
Entering the living room to find her remote, she let out an ‘eeep’ when the doorbell suddenly rang. Placing a hand over her chest from the scare of a life time, she went and looked out the window to see Lorne standing there. She flung the door open.
“How did you... How did you get here so fast?”
He laughed at her wide-eyed expression.
“As fate would have it, I happened to be in the area. Oomph!” He found himself with an armful of Buffy, painfully hugging him tight while murmuring her thanks over and over. “Let’s go inside shall we,” he managed after she released her death grip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It all came out, everything. She wouldn’t let Lorne off the hook from going into detail about William from the moment he met him to where he was right now. It was the longest forty minutes of her life. She had no idea he’d come from money, grew up as an overeducated nerd, had only one girlfriend before the escort business, found the women and the whole idea of earning his money in that manner disgusting...
“I need to talk to him.” She felt lower than low as she realized she was the world-class bitch everyone accused her of being.
“Why?” She looked at him like he’d grown horns.
“What do you mean? You KNOW why!”
“It’s a simple question, Buffy. Just answer me why and I’ll give you his Uncle’s phone number.”
“Because... b-because. I have to make it right, have to apologize.”
“The apology wouldn’t mean a thing to him and there isn’t anything to be MADE right. You now know everything there is to know so again... I ask, why?” He watched her absorb his words, her eyes darting about for an answer, her brows knitted in frustration. If only she would say it. Tell him the real reason; he’d give her the number. If not... He adored her, adored William, considered both of them friends but he couldn’t and wouldn’t allow for either of them to cause the other any more grief. If she couldn’t see it, couldn’t admit what he already knew, there was no way he’d give her a means to hurt William again by releasing that number.
“I-uhmm.” What did he mean? What did he want to hear?
“Come on, sweety. It’s not that hard. What POSSIBLE reason would you have for calling him? Why? After you left him and he left you alone. Why?”
Oh my God!
She blinked like a light bulb went off in her head and stated with certainty. “Because I love him.” She was impossibly, irrevocably and hopelessly in love with William. She didn’t just want him in her life, she needed him. He was it for her... ‘the one’. That silly, romantically fanciful notion of knowing when you’ve found ‘the one’ was true after all. Why else would Lorne ask her that question? She could call and say she was sorry, but what was the point if she didn’t want something more than a simple acceptance of that apology? No matter what she needed to say or do, she had to win him back. And if, no when she did, she would devote the rest of her life to loving him with all she had.
Lorne sat back with a satisfactory smile. He pulled out a pen, small pad and his cell phone, jotted down Rupert’s number then handed it over. “You be sure and tell him that.” There was nothing more he could do, he’d played his part. It was all up to her now that she could admit she still loved him. He only hoped it wasn’t too late on William’s side of things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Rupert Giles speaking.”
Buffy immediately dialed the number after Lorne left. London was eight hours ahead, making it sometime after seven AM there. A bit early, but she couldn’t wait. She was shaking again, an adrenaline cocktail of anxiety, nervousness and excitement. She wasn’t sure what she would say or even how to begin, but it didn’t stop her from calling.
“May I speak to Spi-William, please, Mr. Giles?”
“William?” he asked surprised. “He’s,” he cleared his throat. “Not here at the present moment. May I be so kind as to relay a message to him?” It could be someone calling concerning his nephew’s restaurant, he reminded himself.
“No.” Her heart sank. She wasn’t sure how William would react if he knew she’d called. It would be better she reach him directly. “Do you know when he’ll be returning? So that I can call back?”
“To be quite honest, I don’t. Is it anything to do with Grisanti’s, Miss...”
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to be rude. My name is Elizabeth Summers. And well, to answer your question... not exactly.”
“Oh, my heavens. You’re Buffy.” He took his glasses off and began cleaning them.
It was a statement, not a question, one that set her nerves on edge. “Yes,” she answered hesitantly, as if he were going to give her an earful. She closed her eyes and braced herself for any hurtful words she more than deserved based on whatever William had told his Uncle.”
“My dear girl, I’m unsure where to begin but I am quite certain I speak for my wife as well when I tell you that we are most pleased that you are calling.” Jenny was sitting next to him at the kitchen table listening with rapt attention after he uttered Buffy’s name, mouthing ‘yes’ to him.
“You are? I-I mean, you’re not... you don’t hate me? Because I understand if you do, I’m sure William has told you some rather not-so-nice things.”
“Quite the contrary, young lady.” The day after his arrival, William had told him about Buffy and not a single bad thing was said other than she was stubborn as a mule. “He feels responsible for, how do you Americans say... your... fall out?”
“That’s not true, well, not entirely true. This is... REALLY awkward. To be telling you anything when I don’t know you but... I’m just as responsible if not more and that’s why I’m trying to reach him. I’m hoping he can forgive me.”
Jenny’s ear was right next to Rupert’s hanging on Buffy’s every word and after hearing that, she took the phone right out of his hand.
“Buffy? Hi, Jenny Giles here, William’s Aunt.”
She froze. Was his Aunt going to be the one to give her a tongue lashing for having hurt her nephew? “I’m so sorry, I really am. I never meant for, I mean to hurt William and-”
“Buffy, Buffy! Save it for William. I’m only interested in one thing.”
“Yes?” Uh-oh. She couldn’t imagine what she would ask.
“Do you still love him? Is this why you’re really calling? To patch things up with him?” The girl on the other end gave her a nervous chuckle.
“Well, that’s three but, yes, to all your questions.”
“Oh thank heavens. You don’t know how relieved I am, we are,” she glanced at Rupert who, though still upset with her for taking the phone from him, gave his confirmation. “To hear you say that.” Although she wished the girl had called days ago, it was better now than never.
“I’m glad you feel that way. I don’t understand why, but I’m really glad.”
Jenny told her the best time to reach William and begged that she call back then and not wait. She wouldn’t say why and Buffy didn’t care to ask, she was just grateful for the other woman’s support. Now she could set her alarm and get a few hours of rest, knowing it wouldn’t be long before she could hear his voice again.
“Thank you, Jenny.”
“You’re welcome. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye.”
“Do you think he’ll be sober by then?” Jenny asked after hanging up.
“He bloody well better be.”
A/N: I think (key word here) I can guess what most of you might be wondering after reading this. In saying that, although things are starting to look up, there is a bit more to come and I’m not going to present any real-world ‘issues’ here like alcoholism – they have enough on their plate to deal with and my muse doesn’t like dark paths like that. So I hope that answers any questions you might have surrounding the possibility. Have a great week, huge cyber hugs from me and the muse.