Buffy was floating on a cloud. She didn’t know what she was doing, but she had to be doing something right because William hadn’t stopped kissing her. In fact, he had broken away briefly to catch his breath, and had dove in again, this time following her dream and sucking her bottom lip into his mouth. She grabbed onto the front of his shirt and held on tight, afraid she’d fall over if she didn’t hold onto him. For once, she was blessedly not thinking and that was something she wanted to hold onto desperately.
“Buffy…” he murmured, resting his forehead against hers, and panting. “Have you ever…?”
Her eyes were shut, her breathing was heavy and still she held on to the blissful feeling of William kissing her. It was odd, that. She hadn’t liked it too much when he’d hugged her for the first time, though she was slowly getting used to that, but this kissing thing…she liked it! She was tingling all over and her mind was clear of thought, of analyzing and over analyzing – it was a wonderful feeling.
“What?” she asked softly, almost dreamily. She barely recognized her own voice.
“Ever been kissed? Ever . . . made love?”
As nice as kissing felt, she was certain that she wasn’t quite ready for that. She jumped away from him as if burned. “No, I haven’t. And I’m not …I’m not going to…”
He reached out and brought her back into his arms without pushing for anything. “Not going to have sex with me?”
She cleared her throat and shook her head, trying to separate from him, but he held on tight. “It wouldn’t be right.”
“Buffy, I’m not going to push you for anything you’re not ready for. But why would it be wrong?”
“Because you…sort of work for me, and…sex just complicates things, and…”
“If you’ve never made love, how do you know it’d complicate things?”
She gave him a sour look and this time pushed away from him. “You don’t have to say it like that.”
William chuckled, “That came out a lot worse than how I meant it.”
“Then maybe you should say how you meant it,” she said indignantly.
“I meant, how do you know it’d complicate things between us?”
“I don’t want to have this conversation anymore,” Buffy said, shaking her head and moving away from him. “That kiss was nice, but it shouldn’t have happened.”
“You liked it?”
“Yes, but it—“
“Focus on how you liked it then. Don’t think about the other stuff—“
“Yeah, that’s the problem. I forgot about the other stuff.”
“How is that a problem?”
“I don’t know, it just is! You’ve got me all muddled and thoughtless here, you and your kind words and –“
“And I meant every word,” he told her, staring at her imploringly. He cocked his head to the side. “You liked the kissing because you didn’t think for once.”
“William—“
“Talk to me, Buffy.”
“I am talking to you, but why do we have to talk about this?”
He held up his hands in surrender. “All right. I’ll stop.” For now, he thought. She was watching him carefully and he knew if he pressed her more to open up, she’d just clam up even more. Mental note old boy, Buffy loses all thought when kissing. She is a passionate creature after all. She’s just afraid of it when given the chance to think.
She bit her bottom lip, “I do have one question though.”
“Mmm?”
“Was I – was any good?” she asked uncertainly.
He smiled broadly, “You taste like honey. Your lips are all soft and plump…you kiss so sweet and innocently.”
“That’s a good thing?” she asked, looking up at him.
“Bloody fantastic.”
There was a hint of a smile, a proud smile, on her flushed face and she turned away from him. “I think I’m going to turn in. Night, William. Thank you for dinner.”
“Stop thanking me—we talked about this remember? Good night, Buffy.”
Head down, Buffy walked away from him and William heaved a heavy sigh. Good thing she’d paid no heed to the erection he’d been sporting.
“Finally!” Dru exclaimed behind him.
“Dru,” he muttered, “Really not in the mood.”
“Party pooper.”
Turning, William scowled at her. “This whole thing has been a set up, hasn’t it? This was a way for you to play Emma from beyond the grave.”
“No,” Dru said, clearly offended. “Well…”
“Yeah, see? I’m being played like a bloody fiddle by a ghost.”
“That’s not entirely true, William—“
“It’s not? Well if it is true, I hope you’re happy because I’m – and she’s –“ William was gesturing wildly.
“You’re falling in love with her and she’s not making it easy in the reciprocation department?” Dru mused.
William admitted nothing.
“I admit that yes, part of this was a set up. But only part. William, I knew you could be the one to break down her barriers – her many barriers and bring her to life—“
“She doesn’t want to be.”
“She needs to be.”
“I want to do it, Dru, and not because of you,” William admitted to her, gently.
“I know. You’re falling for her.”
“She’s so …”
“Cold? Closed off?” Dru supplied.
William frowned at her, “No, not that at all, really. I mean, yeah, she comes off that way at first, but it’s all just a front. A really good front. It’s all just a defense mechanism really. She feels things, Dru, she feels them deeply, she just doesn’t know how to process or handle them.”
Dru nodded sadly, “You can thank our parents for that.”
“How did you manage to not fall into that trap?”
Dru shrugged, “I knew the way they raised us was wrong. I knew that it was them that had the problem, not us. I learned to not care what they thought of me. Buffy was a sensitive child and I knew if she stayed in that house, she wouldn’t have a chance. They’d eat her alive and then spit her out. It was why I tried to get custody of her. But they knew they could mold her, they knew they could break her. It was all a sport to them. And Buffy let them work their will on her. She knew they were wrong, she knew they were awful, but by then, the damage had been done. She’d been conditioned.”
“I really hate them,” William growled, “Any way I can meet them? I’d really love myself a good brawl.”
Dru laughed, “All for her honor?”
William blushed, “Well…yours too.”
“William, when Fred died, you were so distraught. A real mess. You never thought you could love again. I know Buffy is the opposite of Fred, but you’ve always loved a challenge, and underneath that armor is a real passionate woman with a whole lot of feeling. She’s opened up to you—“
“I thought I told you about the lurking.”
“I’m just saying! There’s something in you that responds to something in her, and there’s something in her that responds to something in you.”
“Is she really in danger Dru? Or did you just tell me that because you knew I couldn’t let anything happen to her?”
Dru shook her head sadly. “No, she really is in danger.”
“How? What is it? I don’t get how—“
“William. If she doesn’t stay here with you, she’ll kill herself.”
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