She looked at him absently, sniffing the candle, “Do I?”
“You even seem excited,” he noted.
She shrugged, “I suppose I am. Strange huh? Buffy Summers gets excited.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, pet.”
“I know, I’m teasing you. You’re right though. It’s not something that happens often. I feel like...”
“Like?”
“I feel like I had some kind of disease or some kind of illness that I didn’t know how to fix, and I wasn’t really coping all that well with it. So this person comes along and tells me how to fix it, or at least how to cope better with it, and it feels like this weight is being lifted. I’m not plagued with it – or at least, not as I was before. I feel like I have control over it.”
“And we know how you feel about control,” William joked.
She smirked, “Ha ha.”
“Pet, I’ve been telling you to talk to them for a while now.”
“No offense, William, but I like Tara’s methods better.”
“No offense taken. I can understand listening to the seasoned witch rather than myself.”
“Okay, now I feel bad.”
William grinned. “I’m just joshing you.”
Sticking her tongue out at him, she walked away to peruse more candles. Grinning, William followed her and stepped up behind her, putting his hands on her hips and biting her earlobe gently. “I’m happy to see you feel more confident about things.”
Buffy froze. “William, this doesn’t mean I’m staying.”
Now he froze. “I know.”
“I just don’t want you to . . . get the wrong idea. I’m trying this, but no one said it would work for me—“
William spun her around to face him, Buffy letting out an ‘eep!’ of surprise in the process. “Now don’t do that,” he admonished her sternly. “Don’t take it all back now. You were doing well with the positive thinking and I don’t want you taking a turn into Negative Town.”
Buffy smiled. “Negative Town?”
“Yes.”
“Roger that,” she said in mock seriousness, “No turn taking into Negative Town.”
“I’m serious, Buffy. Having a positive outlook is half the battle.”
“Are you an attorney or a motivational speaker?”
He gave her a look. “I see how it is. Make fun of the guy who’s trying to help you.”
Buffy rolled her eyes. “Maybe I don’t your help. Maybe I’m capable of doing these things on my own. Maybe I just needed to figure them out on my own. Maybe—“
“That’s a lot of maybes,” William said huskily and nipped at her lips. “Maybe you need to stop overthinking.”
She snorted. “You have met me, right?”
He laughed. “That sense of humor Dru claimed you didn’t have is developing more and more as the—“
”She said that?”
William laughed again, harder this time. “I never pegged you as gullible though...”
Buffy swatted him lightly, “If you don’t behave yourself, I’ll sick those ghosts of mine on you.”
“Might want to make sure I do something worthy of that first,” he whispered and leaned in kissing her quickly and voraciously.
Someone clearing their throat nearby caused Buffy to push him off. She smiled apologetically at the old woman watching them distastefully and gave William a pointed look.
Walking away with a candle in hand, Buffy turned to William who was following her to the cash register. “What is it with you and public displays of affection?” she hissed.
He shrugged. “I told you I couldn’t keep my hands off you. Did you think I was just making that up?”
She said nothing, but he could make out the distinct beginnings of a blush.
It was with some trepidation that Buffy quietly and serenely, almost as if she herself were preparing for ritual—and in a way she was—brought the cream, vanilla scented candle into the ballroom and placed it on a long forgotten table, a silver plate in the shape of a star underneath it.
William grabbed a chair from the kitchen and hauled it to the room for her, placing the chair near the table.
She took a step back and surveyed her work. It didn’t seem like much, but it was effective, at least in her mind. It spoke to her of a time out of time, and a room devoted entirely to her quest for peace with the spirits that dwelled in her home.
“Is tonight the night?” Buffy smiled at how the atmosphere to the room had already been set, and confirmed even more now by William’s need to whisper.
“Tomorrow is the New Moon. I will light the candle then.”
“Will you speak with them?”
“Maybe.”
William tugged on her hand, “Come on, pet.”
She looked at him curiously and let him lead her out of the room. Once the door was closed, he confessed. “I have to say, the idea of it is a little…”
“Freaky?”
“Yes. I mean, I saw Dru do it once, but not with the whole chair and candle thing. She was more like a John Edwards, you know? Talking to me and relaying information, but it was like just having a conversation with her.”
“Well, I’ll be having a conversation with someone.”
“I know, and I feel ridiculous for saying this considering how I’ve hounded you about all this –but it is freaky to think of. I mean, I know that when I’m here, I’m surrounded by them most likely, I know that when I’m with you I most likely am, but setting up just a candle and chair makes it seem. . . “
“Real?”
“Yes, real. I have this image of you in that room, talking to someone that will eventually fill that chair…” he shivered and Buffy smiled.
“Welcome to my world,” she chirped.
“Yeah…so can I watch?”
Now she laughed, “That would be a very adamant no.”
“They wouldn’t like it?”
“That—and behold how I suddenly care how they feel.”
“Do you think that’s because Tara assured you they only want to cohabitate with you pleasantly? That they’re really not trying to drive you round the bend?”
Buffy nodded slowly, “Yes, I think that helps a great deal, actually. Also because I think of how they’ve lived here so long with Dru… I feel like they’re a part of her too. Sounds crazy, right?”
“Maybe you’ll see her,” William suggested hesitantly.
“I doubt it. I don’t know if I’m quite ready for that.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know…I think I’m still angry with her for leaving me.”
William gathered her into his arms. “You have me,” he offered lightly. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
Buffy didn’t quite know what to say to that. Thank you? I’m glad? That’s great? Give him a pat on the back and smile? She just didn’t know. She wasn’t used to anyone but Dru being there for her, and it was something she felt alien to. Coupled with the fact that she still didn’t know how she felt about him other than she was severely attracted to him. She was afraid to delve into the realm of ‘emotions’, so she was really just trying to take it as it came. She hoped if she could get at least one aspect of her life tidied up, the rest would somehow fall into place.
Life, she knew though, had a way of not always working out that way.