“Hmm?” she murmured, pouring over the menu.
“Something you said the other day has been sticking with me and I don’t want to bring up a painful subject—“
“Just come out with it, William.”
He took a deep breath, “You said that it was some ’thing’ that killed Dru.”
She looked up from the menu and sighed, “Oh, that.”
“What did you mean?”
She frowned slightly, and bit her lip. “You’ll think I’m crazy. Or, crazier.”
“Try me.”
“The ‘gift’ as you like to call it? I just don’t see how it can be something healthy. I mean…why us? Why her? It’s not something normal. To hear the dead talking to you, to see them…how can that be a good thing? I’ve had them around me, filling up my head, making me feel crazy with all their chattering…” she broke off, shaking her head. “I think, okay yeah, she had an aneurism in her brain, but why? Because those things were always there. And she had more than just the ability to see and hear them, she was psychic too. You knew that of course…I just think it killed her. Too much in her brain and it fried her.”
“Buffy—“
“I know, you think I’m crazier. I just can’t help it.”
“Those things didn’t kill her, Buffy. She enjoyed having those things.”
Buffy sighed and picked up her menu. “Perhaps she was the crazy one then. So, what should I get?”
“I am getting the veal parmesan. I’m afraid that’s the only thing I’ve ever really gotten here.”
“Hmm, okay. I’ll have that too then,” she said and closed her menu briskly, and set it down. Reaching for her glass, she took a small sip. “Can I ask a personal question?”
“Sure.”
“You said my sister helped you—“
“Do you realize that most of your personal questions have to do with my relationship with your sister?”
Buffy smiled and ducked her head. William swore she was blushing. He really liked that.
“Anyway,” she continued, “what was it that she did for you? How did you come to meet her?”
“Well,” he began, “I’d heard of Dru and what she did around town. I’d just lost my girlfriend in a car accident and was in a bad way.” His mind wandered to what a mess he’d been. “I needed some relief. Needed to know that she was okay and that she wasn’t mad at me. I came to see Dru and she. . she spoke to Winifred. Told me that she was happy where she was and wanted me to be happy too.”
“How in the car accident did she die?” Buffy asked softly.
“She was struck by a drunk driver. She’d been on her way to see me. I’d made her come to get me since I was stuck at work and my car was in the shop. She hadn’t wanted to come, but I begged her to. We both had busy jobs and barely saw each other through the week. I’d had a crap week and wanted to see my girl. She came out to see me and on her way…” he trailed off, falling silent.
He was surprised when Buffy’s hand folded over his own on the table. “I’m sorry,” she said. Looking up, William saw the genuine warmth and concern in her eyes. Her hand on his was a comfort and he didn’t want her to let go.
“I’m okay. Much better than I was. Dru was good for me, she really helped me through it. She had experience with loss.”
Buffy nodded in understanding, “Yes, since she’d lost Stephen.”
“Exactly.”
Watching her slide her hand back to her person, William fought the urge to reach out and grab it and bring it back. Staring at her hand, he asked quietly. “So you and Dru were close?”
“Yes, we were.”
The waiter came over, interrupting their conversation and Buffy seemed actually relieved for the reprieve. Keep things lighter he thought and changed the subject to her work after they’d placed their order.
“You keep staring at me,” Buffy told him later after they’d eaten and were enjoying a tea.
William smiled, “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. Some things about you are like Dru and yet so many things are different. You might find it odd to hear that I find you fascinating Miss Summers.”
Buffy laughed, “Oh boy. There’s a word no one has ever used to describe me. I’ve gotten a lot of ‘bitch’, but not ‘fascinating’.”
“Well, you’re definitely closed up tight.”
“Dru was more the hippie type. She tried so hard to get me to loosen up when I finally made it out of our parent’s house. Like I said, I inherited their bad traits. Dru didn’t seem to have taken any with her. She was the lucky one.” Buffy smiled in memory of her sister. “She was very popular. She always had admirers and people just flocked to her. She was always warm and accommodating – as you well know. I never got that. I was the hard ass, the ‘bitch’. Where they liked her, they hated me.”
William felt his heart break for her. “That can’t be true. I can’t imagine anyone hating you.”
Buffy snorted, “Oh, but they have and oh, but they do. It’s okay. I know I’m not going to win any popularity contests. My whole life has just been about . . . “ she shook her head.
“Tell me,” he implored, needing to know what she was going to say.
She met his eyes when she answered him, “My whole life has been about keeping my head above water. About surviving and not ever having to go back to my parents. Dru never worried about failing, and she always landed on her feet. I always worried about failing and I wasn’t satisfied with just ‘landing on my feet’. I didn’t want that opportunity of a hit or miss to present itself.”
“Buffy—“
“Don’t feel sorry for me. Or worry about me. I make those decisions for myself.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” she asked, looking at him.
“Hide and keep me at arms length.”
“William—“
This time it was he who reached across the table and took her hand in his. She tried to pull back, but he held on tight. “Don’t hide from me. I want to be your friend, Buffy. Please, let me be your friend. I’ll be your friend first and your attorney second if you’ll let me. I like what I know so far of you. Even that so-called craziness you speak of. There’s something about you, Buffy and I just…I just want the chance to get to know you better so I can figure it out.”
He wasn’t sure who was more surprised by the tears that welled up in her eyes. She blinked them back and tried to disengage her hand from his. He wouldn’t let her.
“Buffy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he told her earnestly.
She shook her head, “No, it’s all right. I’m just…William, please don’t say those things just because you want me to stay. I know Dru wanted me to, but –“
“I’m not. I mean what I say, I don’t say them on a whim or just to get something from you.”
“William, please,” she begged.
“What? What is it, tell me?”
“No one’s ever…and I don’t know how to handle it. Please, let me go.”
It took him a minute to realize she meant his hand. He released it quickly.
She stood immediately. “I’m going to use the bathroom and when I come back, can we just go on with our evening like that never happened?”
He nodded mutely.
“Thank you,” she said curtly and charged off.
William sat there, watching her go. Buffy Summers didn’t know it, but William was more certain than ever that she was not going to be alone, ever. Not while he still had breath in his body.