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Author's Chapter Notes:
To my readers who read Chapter 15 yesterday, I’m so sorry! I got so excited in posting it that I failed to include the part where Hank tells Buffy what he thinks about Riley. It was almost midnight when I was able to correct it .
Flashback - 4 days ago
“I AM getting married. Really Xander, what’s so outrageous about that?” came Buffy's offended tone.
“My apologies Buffster. It's just ....I didn’t expect it this soon.” He approached Buffy to give her a warm hug. ”Congratulations, Buff!”
Anya now grabbed Xander’s hand .” We have to go guys! All that engagement talk got me a little hot and bothered. Xander and I needs to take care of that right away. See you later at the Bronze guys!”
"Bye!"
Willow wasn’t surprised at all when she saw the look of apprehension on Buffy’s face the moment the two of them were left alone.
"Guess you're probably so excited about everything." Willow said, trying to gauge her friend’s reaction. She knew exactly what’s going on inside the blonde’s head.
“I don’t know. I guess I could feel the excitement building. It’s like plain old Buffy left the building and now I’m all Energized Buffy. I know I have so many things to do. I don’t even know where to start. It’s a good thing we have a wedding planner coz you know Riley doesn’t want me to fret so much about it. Did I tell you already he’s rich?”
“U-huh.” Willow replied, not all convinced. There must be a way she could make Buffy realize that she’s making a terrible mistake. “He’s old reliable and rich Riley Finn. I know that he loves you, so much that there's no doubt in my mind that he'll take good care of you, sweetie. You're lucky. Not all people are blessed to be with the one they want. No siree. And don't you dare worry about what the others might say. The important thing is that you're happy and that you’re going to live the rest of your life with the man you love.”
And with that last comment, all of Buffy’s resolve began to shatter. Her once lively face immediately got distorted and within seconds, she found herself bursting into a flood of tears.
"Buffy?" came Willow's concerned voice.
“Oh Wills. What am I going to do?”
Willow immediately gave her friend a comforting hug. “Shhh, Buffy it’s okay. Everything ‘s going to be okay.”
“But I’m far from being okay.” Buffy tried to compose herself. “I mean I care about Riley. I do. It’s just that…When Riley asked me to marry him and I said yes, I thought that …”
“You’re finally over HIM. But you’re not?”
Buffy shook her head. “ I guess I am not. I can’t help it. I hate the fact that after all this time, I’m still in love with him, Willow. I am still in love with Spike.”
Willow’s eyebrows came together in a painful frown. “ Ooookay.”
She knew about her friend’s secret. Stuffs that Buffy could not share with Spike, she shared it with her. Willow knew exactly when Buffy feelings for the bleached blonde had started to change and just how heart broken Buffy was the moment Spike started dating Dru.
Fact was it was only a year ago when she thought Buffy had finally moved on when captain of the basketball team, Riley Finn had asked her out on a date and she had said yes. I guess I thought wrong, Willow thought silently.
Willow withdrew from their hugging session to look into her friend’s face. “Buffy, if you’re still in love with him, why are you marrying Riley?”
“Because I’m done waiting. I’m not waiting anymore for Spike to wake up one day to realize he’s in love with me. That’s never going to happen. It doesn’t matter that he and Dru are not together anymore. It’s so obvious how he never quite got over her. He never dated anyone else ever since they’ve broken-up.”
“Look, Buffy, I’m not trying to point any fingers but don’t you think you should’ve at least thought it over before you said yes? ”
“I know, it might look like I’m using him but I when I marry him, I’ll be fully committed, Willow. I do feel something for Riley. In time I know I will be able to return his love.” Buffy explained.
“Oh Buffy, I don’t think that’s how it works sweetie. Either you’re in love with Riley or not. I agree with you that there’s a big possibility that you might learn to love Riley but I don’t think it’s right for you to lie to him or to yourself. He deserves to know. I also believe Spike deserves to know about that too.”
“No way!” Buffy replied promptly.” I don’t think I can ever tell Spike again. I mean I tried to before. But things eventually got in the way. Dru happened and then Riley. Fact is, I don't think I could ever compete with that loony ho.”
“Hold on just a minute there! You told me yourself that Spike doesn’t deserve her and you know that you are twice the woman that she is…or something.”
“I don’t know Willow. I just don’t want to get hurt anymore.”
“That’s basically it , isn’t it?” Willow told her irritatedly.
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean!” Willow pointed out, her resolve face in place.
“ I’m sorry but I do not, so please enlighten me!” Buffy told her, raising her voice.
“I remember those times when you came to me practically heart broken because of Spike’s relationship with Dru, but the thing is those are not the only ones you meant when you mentioned about getting hurt.” Willow accused. “ Your dad. He hurt you so much when he left you and your mom.”
“Well gee thanks for reminding me, Ms. State the Obvious! Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Listen to me Buffy. You may not realize this, but that’s the reason why you’re marrying Riley.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Do I? Buffy, come on it’s me who you’re talking to here. You don’t want to take your chance with Spike because he has the power to hurt you too.”
“Willow, I admit that up to now I hate what my dad did. I hate the fact that up to now he’s a coward…that he’s still afraid to ask for my mom’s forgiveness. But that’s not the reason why I’m marrying Riley. “
“Then what’s the reason, Buffy?”
“I don’t know. I’m just….” She sighed. “I’m tired of waiting Willow. I’m tired of waiting for the guy who’s never going to fall in love with me. I just feel that what I need right now is somebody who’s crazy about me , somebody who’ll think about me just before he goes to sleep, somebody who’ll love me for who I really am. That’s the guy I want to marry Willow… Don’t you think it’s about time that I moved on with my life?”
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PRESENT TIME
Inside Spike’s dorm room, the bleached blonde was about to enter the bathroom to take a shower when he heard the phone rang. He ran to grab the receiver thinking that it could be Buffy.
He fervently hoped she hadn’t changed her mind about the whole fiancé thing. He still has his mind set on her promise of giving him *anything* in return for the favor she’d asked from him.
“Hello.”
“You haven’t called me back my Spike.”
“Dru.” Spike frowned, deliberately chose not to return her call. He’s not in the mood for cracking outlandish riddles. “ I’m not yet done with my part of the thesis if that’s what you’re gonna ask.”
“Spike, I need to talk to you about something important. I was wondering if we could meet later today.”
“I’m afraid I can’t today, Dru. “
“How about tomorrow night at my house?” Dru suggested.
“All right, I’ll be there.”
TBC
A/N: On the next chapter, Spike’s torturous charade begins. A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chap. Michelle, Crystal Pegasus, PhotographyNut, Jessica, Laura Liz, Kayla, Ash, Rosie and Kass. Thanks to all my readers! Big hugs to everyone! Thank you so much!