A/N: Sorry about the wait, Easter and all that. Not much happens here, but next chapter will have some serious plot points so stay tuned for that. This here's just some Spuffy smut and some Spander flashback angst. God, if someone told me I'd be writing Spander smut a few months ago, I would have laughed at them, now look at me. Anyhow, reviews are much appreciated and make things come much faster. Thanks to all who have already done so.
"Let's keep it between us.
These people meddlin' in our affairs, they're not our friends.
Let's keep it between us
Before doors close and our togetherness comes to an end.
They'll turn you against me and me against you 'til we don't know who to trust.
Oh, darlin', can we keep it between us?
"Let's keep it between us.
We've been through too much tough times that they never shared.
They've had nothing to say to us before,
Now all of a sudden it's as if they've always cared.
All we need is honesty, a little humility and trust.
Oh, darlin', can we keep it between us?"
-Bob Dylan, Let's Keep It Between Us
Buffy awoke to a gentle and talented hand between her legs and a very hard cock prodding her ass. She smiled sleepily and pressed his hand harder to her while grinding herself backward onto him eliciting a groan from both of them.
"Morning, luv," Spike whispered into her ear before kissing it gently. "Sleep well?"
"Mmmm." Buffy couldn't yet form a coherent sentence, what with the impending orgasm and her half awake status.
"I'll take that as a yes," he said pushing a finger inside her. She cried out softly and he moved a second to join the first. "How does that feel, baby?"
Buffy moaned loudly and pushed back on him. "Yes, Spike, more..."
He grinned and rubbed his thumb harder around her clit, not quite touching her in the way she needed it most. "Shall I let you come, kitten?" She nodded frantically and he began the long, hard strokes that he knew would bring her the most intense release. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and he grabbed her free hand and brought it between them. "Touch me, Buffy," he moaned into her ear, "please touch me!"
She wrapped her hand around his cock and gave him a gentle squeeze before she swiped the generous amount of precum off the head and began to stroke him in the same rhythm he was touching her. "Oh, Spike, you're so hard, I wish you could be inside me."
He groaned and became impossibly harder at her comment, his strokes sped up and she essayed to match his pace. "Me too, baby, nothing I want more." He could tell she was close and he wanted to see what he could get away with. He moved one cum slicked digit back until it rested on the tight bud of her ass. She thrust into his hand and he pushed his finger inside. "You like that, luv?" He pumped all his fingers quickly and he felt his balls begin to tighten as she did the same. "I want to fuck you here, Buffy," he whispered, his voice thick with lust as he twisted his finger in her ass making her cry out. "I want to have my cock so deep in you that we can't tell where exactly we separate. You want that, pet?"
Buffy nodded and reached to fondle his balls and ass, she didn't know how much longer she would last with his dirty talk. "Tell me, baby, let me hear you say it."
"Spike, please, I'm so close."
"Tell me, Buffy, and I'll make you come so bloody hard you'll see stars."
"Yes, Spike," she gasped as he pushed his fingers deeper. "I want your cock in my ass, so far in me that you never leave, but right now I want you to come all over me."
She turned around quickly and humped his hand in earnest as she reached her now free hand around to fuck him just as he was doing her. She cried out first and spasmed around him but she never lost her rhythm and he followed close behind, spurting all over her stomach and breasts as she requested.
They lay together panting for a moment before Spike bent down and began to lick his spendings off of Buffy. She wasn't sure, but she thought maybe that was the hottest thing she'd ever seen. She moaned loudly again and ran her fingers through his hair as he licked and sucked her body until she was clean.
When he finished he looked up at her with desire filled eyes and she kissed him hard, tasting his cum on his tongue. She pulled away and brought his hand to her mouth and licked her own essence away. She felt his cock jump against her thigh as she did so and smiled.
Spike seemed willing to ignore his growing arousal for the moment and he pulled her so that she was facing him with their legs entwined and his arms around her. "I love you so much, Buffy, you're so beautiful, but I don't want to pressure you into anything. I got carried away there, I'm sorry."
At first she wasn't sure what he was talking about, but then she remembered his hot little mouth saying things that used to make her blush. "Spike, I'm not some delicate flower. Everything you said turned me on in a big way."
"Yeah?" he asked grinning shyly.
"Yeah," she said leaning in to kiss him softly and ruffle his already bed damaged hair. "We should probably get up soon, everyone's already sure they know what's going on, and I think between last night and this morning we've given them a hell of a lot of ammo."
He smiled proudly and pulled her against him. "Let 'em talk. I've got you here, nothing else matters."
"Except for homework."
Spike sighed and looked down. "Except for that, I suppose," he said kissing her nose. "Guess you better get back and do that then."
"Maybe, when you get nice and clean and ready for the day you could join me."
"Like the way you think, luv. Think I might get ready in record time today."
She kissed him and stood putting on her clothes from the night before. "Me too," she said before smiling back at him and closing the door.
***
"Did you guys have sex yet? It sure sounded like it."
Buffy had hoped to avoid being accosted by Anya in the hall, but apparently that was too much to ask for.
"No, we're not having sex yet." She grinned to herself at the memory of that morning.
"Yeah, then what's the I just had an orgasm grin about, and what's with the moaning and groaning Xander and I heard over our own last night?"
Buffy's cheeks flushed and Anya pointed an accusing finger at her.
"Did you lie to me just now, you must have, all evidence points to lots of sex, and good sex at that."
"No, we didn't have sex, and I'm not lying. Why would I lie?"
Anya thought for a moment. "Some misguided notion of propriety, a lot of people seem to have that. But it's kind of ridiculous in this house. Especially with the thin walls."
"Ok, now that that's settled, can I go?"
"No, you can't, and nothing was settled."
Buffy opened her mouth to reply but Willow and Tara cut her off. "What's the deal then? Did you get it out of her Anya?"
"She seems to be sticking to no sex, but we all heard that's not entirely true."
Buffy looked for help from the lesbians but they just shook their heads and laughed silently. "Yep, we all heard the 'Oh, Spike!'s and the 'Buffy, I'm gonna cum!'s last night. No need to be modest now."
"God, is everything fair game here? And he's your brother, aren't you a little grossed out?" she asked Willow.
"Well, after so many years hearing the orgasm musketeers go at it right next to my bedroom, I kind of have to accept it. I find that thinking of his much improved emotional state and not his seriously disgusting, no offence to anyone here, physical state, I'm ok."
Buffy silently thanked God that she didn't have to live with Dawn and her sexual partners anymore, she didn't think she could be as open minded about the whole thing as Willow was.
"So, did he give you a poke?"
"Anya!"
"What, it's what's on everyone's mind!"
Buffy sighed and shook her head. "Ok, here's the deal, and this is all you're getting from me so if you're looking for more you'll have to ask Spike. We're not having sex, and we won't be for a while, no matter how hard it is on both of us. We're just not ready for it yet."
"And the moaning?"
"I'm getting there," she said glaring at Anya. "We do however, have to relieve the tension some way, and that's what we were doing last night. Relieving tension, and you can take however much or little you want from that, it's all I'm saying."
Buffy managed to push past Anya and dart into her room slamming the door.
Anya turned to her friends. "Ok, who wants to go find Spike?"
***
Spike rubbed his hair with a towel and tried to get all the excess moisture out. He dropped the one from around his waist just as his door opened.
"Bloody hell, can a man get some buggering privacy here?"
Xander stepped inside. "Sorry, man, just wanted to ask about your date."
Spike smirked and turned to his closet to grab a pair of jeans. "'S ok, mate, thought you'd be Anya asking whether I'd scored yet."
"Well, she should be here soon enough, I told her I thought you'd be out working on the car so I bought us some time."
Spike buttoned his jeans and grabbed a shirt while smiling back at his friend. "Thanks, Xand." He pulled his shirt over his head and sat on his bed.
"I messed things up a bit, but I don't think it's too big a deal." Xander sat next to him and Spike looked over and noticed that he looked a little confused. "I told her that I loved her."
Xander let out a low whistle. "Wow, man, don't beat around the bush do you?"
"Well, shit, Xand. It's the bloody truth innit? Couldn't keep it in with her making me ache every time we're not touching."
"Xander, can I talk to you," William glanced at Willow and then back to his friend, "alone, just for a sec."
Xander looked at William a little strangely but followed him into a room that the school used for photography. William turned and locked the door and then wrapped his arms around Xander kissing him thoroughly.
Xander grinned into the kiss and returned William's fervor. "What are you so happy about?" he asked when they pulled back for air.
William looked at the ground for a moment shyly and Xander put a finger under his chin forcing the other boy to face him. "Just, sometimes... Seeing you all the time, never being able to touch you," William looked away. "Makes me ache sometimes."
Xander smiled and kissed his friend lightly. "I know, Will. It's hard, but they wouldn't understand."
William nodded and Xander thought maybe he was wiping away tears but he wasn't sure. William knew he was acting like a ponce, but it hurt every time he thought about the many layers of wrongness there were in the feelings he had for Xander. "That's not what I needed to say though," he said quickly trying to save some face. "My parents are going out of town, they're taking Willow. I thought... maybe... but if you don't want to come it's ok...I mean, not a big deal.. just-"
"Wouldn't miss it, Will." He kissed him hard once more and walked out. William swallowed hard at the thought of what he had planned and took a deep breath before following.
Xander patted his friends back. "She didn't return it, I guess?"
"Nah, says she's not ready, and really I can't blame her. We met just a month ago and I'm head over my buggering heels. It's driving me crazy and I don't even understand why she means so much to me already. Imagine if I know her for a few years."
Xander was suddenly hit with a memory he'd tried to forget. He remembered that he was part of the reason Spike was so hurt by Buffy's lack of response. At least she hadn't freaked out like he had.
William felt like a right poof. Here he was, running about the house trying to make everything perfect for a friend he'd known since pre-school whom basically had a girlfriend and was probably just involved, however unconventionally, with William for the ass. Or, at least tonight it would be the ass.
William swallowed again and then shook his head trying not to place too much importance on the whole thing. He didn't really know how pleasant the whole thing would be, but he knew it was probably the only way he'd ever lose any form of virginity to anyone and with Xander he at least felt like he was cared for. Girl's seemed to either ignore him or think he was gay, which wasn't too far from the truth. He'd only ever touched or been touched by Xander, and he was pretty sure he loved him, and lately he hadn't been interested in anyone sexually, except for his friend.
It freaked William out beyond the telling of it to think he'd fallen for someone who would probably never return the sentiment and who was a man besides. William tried to push all his confusion aside and prepare for meeting Xander. He was hoping he wasn't too obvious about anything, he knew their arrangement, but he couldn't help but feel like Xander might care more than he did before. Whatever the case, William was pretty sure he wouldn't turn down this offer.
Xander met William at the door and as soon as they were inside he was kissing him like they'd been apart for years.
"Miss me?" William panted into Xander's neck when they broke for air.
Xander just pulled William to him harder and nodded. "Gotta be with you now, Will. Bedroom?"
William nodded and took Xander's hand leading him down the hall. They shut the door and fell onto the bed in a tangled heap. Xander reached down for William's zipper and William covered his hand. "Wait, I thought we could try something new."
Xander looked at him with a bit of confusion but mostly desire at the idea of something fresh to try with William. "What is it?"
He didn't say anything just kissed Xander softly and reached over into his bedside table for the lube he'd bought two weeks before when he was still trying to work up the courage to ask him. He handed it to Xander who stared at the thing in his hand blankly for a minute.
"I thought maybe you'd... I mean, it's fine if..." he noticed Xander's lack of response and tried not to look as disappointed as he felt. "Sorry, I'm so sorry, Xand, it was stupid. Just being stupid, I'm sorry." He grabbed the bottle and turned his back on his friend trying to will his tears not to fall and his hands to stop shaking. He should have known it would be too much. He was sick, he was a fag truly now and Xander just made it perfectly clear that he wasn't.
"Will, wait." William felt Xander's hand on his back and he felt a tear escape. "You want me to... I want to.. I mean, are you sure?"
William wiped his eyes and turned to face Xander. "Yeah... I want you to, but I'm sorry if-"
Xander silenced him with a sweet, deep kiss that had William moaning into his mouth. They fell back onto the bed and Xander helped William out of his clothes before taking his own off and standing next to the bed. The looked at each other awkwardly for a moment, neither knowing exactly what to do before Xander reached for the lube.
"Turn around Will." William was panting from excitement, he didn't think his cock could get any harder, but when Xander gently probed his virgin ass with his fingers William thought he might come right there. He reached a hand up to grip the base of his cock and tried to calm down.
"It might hurt, Will, I'll try to be gentle. Scoot forward, baby."
William groaned softly at the rarely used endearment and moved so that Xander could get comfortable behind him.
"You sure about this?"
"Yeah."
Xander grabbed a pillow and put it in front of William and had him lay down. He lined up the head of his cock with William's ass and pushed in gently.
William wanted to cry out from the pain but he held it in, not wanting Xander to hear him and stop. Xander moved until he was all the way in and waited until William's breathing was regular again before he began to thrust. Eventually, the pain was being slowly replaced with pleasure and William began to move back into Xander's thrusts.
"God, Will, so good, you're so fucking tight!" Xander didn't know how long he could last, William's ass was the tightest thing he'd ever had his dick in and the little moans his lover was emitting were driving him wild. "Fuck, Will, you ok?"
William nodded and gasped. The pain was only a memory now, he could feel Xander hitting something inside of him, that with the friction of the pillow on his cock, and he was ready to burst. "Xand... ohh, please, harder."
Xander sped up his movements and grabbed William's hips so that he could get deeper. William's cries got louder with each pass and Xander reached down only to feel William's hand already there. He batted it away and stroked his friend in time with his thrusts.
"Ohh, Xander, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me-"
William's whimpered requests finally drove Xander over. "Sorry, Will, I'm gonna come!"
"Come inside me, pet, please!"
Xander pumped into him as fast and hard as he could. He felt William clench around him and cry out as he came violently on the pillow beneath them. "Oh God, Xander, I love you!"
It was like a bucket of cold water splashed down on him. Xander froze for a moment but William didn't notice as he was too caught up in his own orgasm. The dark haired boy pulled out and stroked himself to completion, cumming on William's sweaty back.
He collapsed next to him in a daze but when William looked at him with confused and slightly hurt eyes and tried to cuddle up next to him he pulled away violently and stood up, pulling on his pants.
"Xand... Xander?" Xander refused to look at him and just tugged his shirt over his head. "Was I... Did I do something wrong?"
When Xander met his eyes and saw the tears threatening to fall there he snapped. "What the fuck do you think this is, Will?!"
William looked down and covered himself with the sheet. "Umm.. I don't... Why are you doing this?"
"Why am I... Why am I doing this?! You think I'm some fucking fag like you, Will? Think I want you to stick your limp little cock in me now? You can fucking forget it! We had a deal, we're just friends, we just fuck around because Anya's not here and you can't get anyone to even look at you!"
William could feel his tears falling steadily now, and he didn't have the will to stop them. He was sick, he was wrong, he'd tried to make something of nothing and now he had no one. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to say it, it just-"
"Save it you fucking queer! You lied to me, said that you understood what was going on! You've been trying more and more to see me as your fucking boyfriend and I'm not, I won't ever be! Pulling me away at school, getting me to fuck you! I feel dirty, just like you must feel every goddamn day! You make me sick, William!"
Xander finished putting on his clothes and walked out without looking back. William sat staring blankly for a moment before he lay down. He felt something cold and sticky on his back and realized what Xander had done. He stood up and pulled off the sheets and threw them into the washing machine before he got into the shower. He leaned against the wall and sobbed until the water ran cold. His ass hurt and he watched some bloody mix with the soapy water and swirl down the drain.
He couldn't face his bed so he laid in the guest bedroom staring at the wall and trying to forget that he was all alone.
Spike looked over at Xander and had a feeling he knew what he was thinking about. "No worries, mate," he said softly.
Xander looked at him and shook his head. "I was just stupid, Will, it wasn't you."
"I know," he said, though the memory still cut him open in a place he tried to keep buried. "She says she wants to say it, so I'm trying not to worry about it too much. If I play my cards right, she'll come round." He tried to put on a confident smile but Xander saw through him.
"If she really deserves you, she'll realize how priceless you are." He leaned over and kissed Spike softly before standing. "I better go, Anya should be here looking for you any second. I suggest you get Buffy and get out."
Spike pulled on his boots and stood. "Good plan, thanks for the help. I'll have my phone if anyone needs anything, but only emergencies. No bloody Spike's sex life questions."
"Gotcha. I'll let everyone know."
Xander smiled at Spike as he walked out the door. Once he was alone he allowed his eyes to shut in an effort to erase his guilt. He had a feeling though, that nothing could undo the damage he'd done to his best friend.