I fought with my twin, that enemy within, 'til both of us fell by the way.
Horseplay and disease is killing me by degrees while the law looks the other way.
Your partners in crime hit me up for nickels and dimes, the guy you were lovin'
couldn't stay clean.
It felt outa place, my foot in his face, but he should-a stayed where his money was
green.
I bit into the root of forbidden fruit with the juice running down my leg.
Then I dealt with your boss, who'd never known about loss and who always was
too proud to beg.
There's a white diamond gloom on the dark side of this room and a pathway that leads
up to the stars.
If you don't believe there's a price for this sweet paradise, remind me to show you the
scars.

"William, I want you to meet Jenny. She may...umm stay... with us, occasionally."

She bent down until she was eye level with him and smiled warmly. "Hello William. Your father can be quite the fuddy-duddy can't he?"

William smiled and took her outstretched hand in his.

"William?"

He looked up, startled, and closed his eyes to compose himself when he realized who it was. "You startled me."

"I see that." She moved to sit at the counter while she watched him look through the refrigerator. "Feeling better?" He nodded but remained mute and refused to look at her. "If you can't find something.. maybe I can help?"

"No...no I'm fine."

"William, please tell me what's wrong."

He turned to look at her for the first time since they'd come back from vacation. She noticed the splotches on his face, the way his eyes were bloodshot. It hurt her to see the boy she thought of as her son in pain. She had pieced together a few things since she'd seen him in his room. She'd opened the door for the teary Xander, and she'd been suspecting some things for a while now.

She knew that if she pushed him, he may not open up to her at all, but if she didn't do something to make him realize that she understood, he'd feel alone in his pain, and he wasn't."

"You know."

He'd seen it in her eyes, and it scared the hell out of him.

"Yes."

The silence was thick between them and William was on the verge of flight. He stared hard into her eyes and tried to decipher what he saw there. Love, maybe, probably pity, probably disappointment that she'd raised a gay son, or at least a currently gay son.

"Must be hard to know your boy's a queer."

She recognized this tactic immediately. He'd rarely used it with her, but often with Rupert he tried to head off the shame he thought his father felt with anger and a real reason to think less of him.

"Not at all."

She stood and he took a step back. "You're not my mother."

She swallowed and shook her head. "No, but she wouldn't feel any differently than I do right now."

"And how's that?"

"Hurt that you're hurt, sorry that I didn't make it clear to you that no matter what I'll always be here. It doesn't change anything William, I still love you, and I'm not going to ask you to change."

There was more silence and William walked past her to sit in the dark of the living room. She considered turning on the lights when she followed him, but realized that he probably needed the anonymity of it. She sat next to him and he didn't flinch when she put a hand on his back.

"He..." William's voice cracked and he absentmindedly brushed his hair back from his face. "He doesn't love me."

"I'm sorry." It was all she could say, and all he wanted to hear. She pulled him to her and he held on to her tightly while she rubbed his back. This last pain was finally lifted from him, his fear of rejection from this woman had been hanging over his head since his first kiss with Xander and now he could rest easy that he'd always have a place to come home.

***

He stumbled into the house with Dru on his arm. They giggled softly and tried to make their way to his bedroom as inconspicuously as possible.

Dru's hand down his pants was making that a bit harder than it had to be. On all fronts.

"Baby... just wait, luv, don't want to wake them."

"Oohhh, Will, let's be naughty."

He paused and smiled down at her as she gave his cock a long stroke. "What'd you have in mind, pet?"

"Do it right here, Will, right here where anyone can find us."

"Dru, luv, it's my parents' house."

"You can do it any way you like," she whispered against his ear. She pulled his skirt up to the very tops of her thighs and rubbed her ass against his crotch. "I'll even call you 'Daddy'."

He grinned and shoved her against the arm of the couch. "Say it, baby, tell me how much you want it."

She mewled into the cushions and wiggled her ass as she heard him unzip his fly and then rip off her thong. "I've been so very, naughty, Daddy, I think you should punish me."

William felt his cock get harder at the sound of her words and he pressed it against her pussy, teasing both of them. "Beg for it, Dru."

"Fuck me," she growled back at him. "I need you in me, please."

He thrust home in one move and grabbed her hair, pulling her back to kiss and bite at her neck. She was begging him just the way he liked, with 'pleases' and little pathetic whimpers that made him want to come just from being inside her. He was so caught up in the sensations that he didn't see the light from the upstairs hall come on, or the voices. Their fucking was fast and hard and they had both begun to make a lot of noise when suddenly William heard the one voice that could make his dick shrink faster than any other.

"William, what the bloody hell do you think you're doing."

He pulled out of Drusilla quickly and zipped his pants while trying to pull down her skirt to make her more presentable.

"Uhh, Dad... I, umm, 's not what it looks like."

"Funny, it looks as if you were just fucking this girl hard enough to wake the entire house out of a dead sleep."

He didn't think his face could have been redder at any time in his life. "Uh... Well... I guess you could say that."

"Where the hell have you been, we haven't seen you in days?"

"Out."

Rupert Giles glared forcefully at his son and tried to keep what was left of his temper intact. "Elaborate, William."

William turned to Dru and tugged her to him to whisper in her ear. "Go on to my room, luv, be there shortly." He kissed her temple and she grabbed her purse from the table.

She tripped and dropped its contents at Giles' feet.

They all stared in silence for a moment before William dove and tried to shove everything back into her purse, but not before Giles could bend and pick up the most offending items.

"This is what you've been out doing."

William hung his head and stayed on the ground.

"Show me your arms."

"Da-"

"Show me your bloody arms." William did as he was asked and Giles sighed sadly before he turned and walked toward the stairs. "Be out of here by morning, and don't come back until you're my son again."

Tears pricked the back of his eyes but he shook them away and rage replaced the pain. "That's all I came back to do! I'm getting the fuck out of here!"

He saw his father pause and it made him smile to know he'd actually gotten through to him. "Yeah, you wanna know why?" When there wasn't any answer he continued. "You've made me feel like nothing my whole fucking life, and now I am nothing! I'm not you're son, I'm me. You got that, Rupes. I fuck who I want, drink what I want, and do what I want. You don't like it, too bloody bad!"

He stormed into his bedroom and took the few things he could fit into Dru's car. He took the backdoor out and thought he was home free until he saw her waiting in front of the car.

"Dru, baby, just wait here a minute."

She nodded and he walked up to Jenny. "You heard then?"

"He loved you, Will."

"He should bloody well show it more often, then."

She reached for him and he gratefully fell into her arms. "He just has a hard time, you both do." William didn't respond and she sighed. "Please stop this, it's going to end badly."

He pulled back. "Maybe, maybe not. I'm not going to be coming 'round ever again."

"Maybe, maybe not." She kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair. "Be careful, Will, remember that I'm always here."

He nodded and she walked back into the house.

Xander saw Spike hobbling toward his house and he wondered how he could possibly break the news to his friend. When he did actually see him up close he was appalled at the man's condition. He was bleeding from just about everywhere, covered in dirt and what he assumed was probably spunk, he smelled like a gutter and his eyes were hollow.

When he told him what had happened to Jenny, Spike ran before he could clean himself up. The viewing was quiet even though many people were present. When Spike walked in, not a few gasps sounded. Giles and Willow were in another room and didn't see him until he was already weeping over the casket.

Xander had informed Giles of the state he'd seen Spike in lately. The only times he came around was when he needed a place to recuperate. Xander left out the more intimate details of Spike's problems, but it was bad enough without that information. The actual sight of it however, left Giles paralyzed for a moment. He'd never seen his once quiet and unassuming son in such a state of disarray and filth.

The cries he was letting out were ripping him in two and finally he snapped out of his shock and grabbed Spike, hauling him into the small room.

"She was murdered, William."

Spike sat in shock for a moment before he finally looked up. "Because..."

"Of you, yes."

After hearing the accusation in his father's voice, Spike ran until he found Xander's house again. His friend patched him and he didn't ask him any questions. Spike gave Xander a rough kiss when he left and the look the brunette's eyes told him that he knew he was saying goodbye, possibly forever.

He was single-minded in his pursuit of Angel. He pulled his gun out from under the seat of Dru's car and made the short journey to the apartment. He felt like something was off the moment he moved to kick down the door but he shoved it aside and walked into his second personal hell of betrayal. Suddenly it all clicked into place, the way he never hurt her, the way Dru was so damned adamant about coming to Angel even though he had a rep for being one of the worst excuses for a human being.

She was fucking Angel's brains out, and this whole thing, with her selling him to get a fix was one elaborate mind fuck.

"Sweet William, I think it's time you paid the toll."

He opened fire on Angel at almost point blank range.

Dru scrambled off of him and screamed. She tried to grab Spike's arm but he threw her off and emptied the gun's contents into Angel's chest and face. It was for Dru in a way, it was for himself, mostly it was for Jenny and the way his father had looked at him.

He kept pulling the trigger for a few minutes after the bullets ran out. The clicking wasn't registering in his mind, neither were the various noises coming from Dru. When he snapped too, she was gone, and all evidence of he presence with her. Blood covered the walls, the bed, the carpet, and Spike was drenched in it.

He stared at his hand for a moment trying to comprehend that he had just taken another human life. Comprehension didn't come and he slid down the wall to sit in the pool of blood below him.

His father found him the next day. He looked as panicked as William had ever seen him.

"Oh, oh Jesus, Will, what have you done?"

William didn't answer, just stood and the gun fell limply from his hands. "Bless me father for I have sinned." He collapsed into hysterical giggles and fell at his father's feet.

Giles didn't move for a moment. The giggles faded into sobs and he watched his son cry out for mercy beneath him. He touched his bloody curls and let a tear escape and travel down his worn cheek. "I'm so sorry, William. I'm so sorry that you felt this was the way."

William looked up and his eyes held some sanity for the first time in months. "Dad... please."

Giles pulled his son into an embrace and allowed him to cry into his chest. "I forgive you, William. I love you, I'll always love you, and I'm so sorry."