A/N: Sorry this is short, but I wanted to get this little necessary bit out of the way before they could move on with everything. Thanks for all the reviews, they're greatly appreciated. Keep them coming and enjoy.

Well, early in the mornin'
'Til late at night,
I got a poison headache,
But I feel all right.
I'm pledging my time to you,
Hopin' you'll come through, too.
-Bob Dylan, "Pledgin' My Time"

Spike felt Buffy shiver against him and he tightened his arms around her.

"Cold, luv?"

Buffy tried to burrow deeper into his arms and nodded.

"A little."

Spike buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply.

"Should we go in?"

She turned in his arms and looked up at him.

"Will you come upstairs with me?"

Spike met her eyes questioningly.

"You sure, sweet?"

Buffy kissed him softly and nodded before standing and taking his hand. He winced a little as he stood and Buffy began to fuss over him but he waved her off and allowed her to lead him inside. They noticed the note from Fred on the door and smiled at her encouraging words, deciding to take her advice and go in the next morning.

Spike got more and more nervous as they walked up the stairs. He wasn't sure what she expected, and he wasn't sure what he was ready to give, but he couldn't disappoint her. He would let her set the pace.

They reached his room and Buffy turned on the lamp next to the bed before closing the door behind them. She came back to him and smiled up at him reassuringly before kissing him softly. The more she touched him, the more he was ready for.

She touched his hands and guided them up to her shirt in a silent plea for him to remove it. He fumbled with the buttons for a moment, his hands trembling, half from fear, half from his still occasionally cramping hands. She reached up and helped him with the rest, kissing his hands before releasing them and unbuttoning her pants herself. She slid them off along with her underwear and stood before him naked.

Spike's breathing had quickened considerably since the whole thing began, but he still hadn't made a move. Buffy reached up and drew him in for another kiss, hoping he would start to take a more active role. His arms came up to wrap around her waist and his hands rubbed up and down her back.

She took it as a sign he was ready to continue and tugged his shirt out of his pants. He lifted his arms and allowed her to pull it over his head. She bent and kissed a path down his neck to his chest. His hands gripped her shoulders and he moaned softly when she wrapped her lips around one of his nipples.

"Buffy..." he sighed softly, his hand running through her hair. He pulled her back up for a kiss and buried both hands in her hair.

They broke the kiss when they needed air and Spike allowed her to continue down his body to focus back on his chest and nipples. She knew how sensitive they were, and she bit down softly, causing him to moan and arch his body into hers.

She smiled against his skin and moved to his back, tracing his scars with her lips and running her hands up and down his abdomen. When she felt him begin to tremble, his arousal becoming too much for him, she reached for his belt and began to undo it.

His hand stopped her and she moved in front of him to look in his eyes.

"What is it?"

He avoided her eyes and covered her hands with his. "I.."

"Shh..." She wrapped her arms back around him and pulled him close. "It's ok, let's just get into bed and rest."

He nodded and motioned for her to get into bed. She shut off the light and he pulled his pants off before sliding in next to her. She pulled his arms around her and kissed him softly, trying to draw him back out of his shell.

He broke the kiss and searched out her eyes. "Buffy, I'm sorry-"

"Shh, don't worry about it. I shouldn't have pushed you, you're not even completely better yet."

He nodded slightly and laid his head on her breast, his hands running up and down her sides. "I want to, it's just..."

She felt he needed to get something out so she was silent while he gathered his thoughts.

He propped himself up on his elbows so that he was looking down into her face. "I love you."

"I know."

"I want to be with you. I want.. I want all of you, but.." He looked away from her and sighed. "Soon, yeah?"

Buffy nodded and pulled him back down. She kissed the top of his head and ran her fingers through his hair until she was sure he was asleep.

***

They woke the next morning, feeling better than they had in a long time. They showered and dressed quickly before going to meet Fred.

She was waiting for them outside the practice and they decided to go up behind the building where there was a trail leading to a meadow for their session. Spike had been cooped up long enough, they figured he'd enjoy some fresh air.

They reached their destination and sat on some logs near a river before Fred finally decided they were ready to begin.

"So, last night.. what happened after I left?"

Buffy took a deep breath and readied herself to bare all without embarrassment before squeezing Spike's hand and beginning. "We.. didn't have sex. We did sleep in the same bed, though."

"Any particular reason why?"

"Why no sex, or why the same bed?"

"Both."

Buffy glanced at Spike and he shifted a little before he started to speak. "We... I guess we resolved some things, about our relationship now. We were going to... I wasn't ready."

Fred nodded and looked Spike over a bit before saying anything. "You want to tell me why you weren't ready, what it was that held you back?"

"Just... wasn't ready."

Fred's first instinct was the pursue it, but the look he gave her told her he'd talk to her later. She nodded and looked back at Buffy. "What were some of the things you guys resolved?"

"I guess.. just that he can trust me. I still love him as much as I always did. I told him he didn't have to be ashamed of anything, that I was proud of him."

"Is that it, Spike?"

He nodded but didn't speak.

"Ok, well what about some of the things that were a problem in your relationship before?" Neither of them spoke and Fred decided to give them a few clues. "The night that Spike ran out. You guys had been engaging in some stuff that you hadn't done before. Have you told Buffy your feelings about all that, Spike?"

He shook his head and turned to look at Buffy. "What is it?"

"I..." He looked down and shook his head before meeting her eyes again. "You know, what I said about it, that it was just the beginning of it, that Dru and I... we had done those things. I couldn't... we hurt each other, not just emotionally. Buffy, I used to... I don't want that to happen with us. I let things get out of hand with Dru more than once, I hurt her, there were times when that was what she wanted, and sometimes it was just what I took from her, she wasn't happy about it. I can't do that to you."

"Spike, Buffy, listen. Those kinds of sexual practices, the games, roleplaying, all of that... It comes down to trust. Do you trust your partner, are you willing to give up everything to them, to be wild and free with what you want?"

"It's not that I don't trust Buffy, I don't trust me."

"I know, and that's what we're trying to fix. Your relationship with Drusilla left you with no clear understanding of how far you can take those kinds of things. We've talked about some of the things you've done. She broke you down to your most basic desires: want, take, have. That's all your relationship was about. What you have with Buffy, it's give and take, I've seen it. You trust Buffy, trust her enough to trust you. You love her, and she knows it, and she loves you. There won't be a problem, Spike, you're too in control of yourself now, you've learned too much from each other."

Spike looked over at Buffy and saw the pleading in her eyes. She wanted so much for him to be able to let go with her, and he wanted to, it was just so hard.

"It will take time, baby, but we'll get there."

He nodded and kissed the hand that was holding his.

Fred smiled and cleared her throat. "I think that's good for today, you guys work on that and we'll talk tomorrow."

They thanked her and walked back to the car. Spike told Buffy to wait in the car while he talked to Fred. She kissed his cheek and got in.

"Fred?"

"You ready to tell me what was going on?"

He swallowed hard and stared at his feet.

"Spike, come-"

"I couldn't do it."

"What?"

He looked up at her and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I wasn't... She was there, and I wanted her so badly. She did all the right things, touched me in all the right places. I felt like I was getting there, but... nothing happened."

Fred stared at him for a minute before finally digesting all he had said. "You couldn't... get an erection?"

He nodded and his cheeks flamed.

"Spike, there are a lot of reasons why that could be happening now. You just came off a drug that was basically providing all of your pleasure centers with fuel, now they have to make their own. You're recovering still, you're tired and stressed, that can cause it as well. It could be psychological, you may be afraid to be intimate with Buffy again because of the last few times that it occurred."

Spike's head swam and he wasn't sure whether or not to be relieved by some of the possibilities or just as horrified as he had been the night before.

"If it is the drugs.. it's not permanent, right?"

Fred shook her head. "Probably not, I doubt this will be a problem for much longer, but if it is, talk to me about it again, and we'll see what we can do to correct it."

He nodded nervously and looked back to Buffy. "Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"Put a little faith in yourself and in her, and I think you might have an easier time with everything, ok?"

He nodded and hugged her gently. "Thank you."

"Your welcome, I'll see you tomorrow."

He nodded and walked to the car. When he got in Buffy smiled at him, and he could tell she was curious, but she didn't ask and he was grateful. He put the keys in the ignition and then reached over and took her hand. "You want to do something special today, pet?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"A surprise."

She smiled and he leaned in to kiss her softly.

"I like surprises."