A/N: Sorry for the delay. This isn't the update I intended, but I wanted to get something out there before November. So I think there's about two chapters and the epilogue left, and school is slowing down a bit and the Red Sox are done for the year so I should be able to get them out much quicker than I have been. Hope you enjoy, and reviews are always great, sometimes they even inspire one to work faster.

-Bob Dylan, "Mama, You Been on My Mind"

Spike settled his duffle at his feet and knocked quietly on the door with the address Buffy had given him.

"Spike!"

Dawn flung herself into his arms and he leaned down to hug her to him tightly. He'd had more than a few conversations as of late with Buffy's little sister and knew she was having a rough time of it. They both were, but the elder was still trying to figure out what the problem was.

He stepped back and grabbed his bag before shutting the door behind him.

"How're you doin', bit?"

Dawn shrugged and hugged herself. "Ok, I guess. It's tomorrow. But I guess that's why you're here."

He nodded and brushed back some of her hair affectionately. "Anything for my girls."

She smiled at that and pointed to a door down the hall. "I guess you'll be wanting to see Buffy. She's been a little crazy lately. She never used to use that punching bag unless she was really pissed, so there's you're warning."

Spike eyed the door and then glanced back at Dawn. "She been any better lately?"

Dawn just raised an eyebrow and he sighed. "I think maybe after all this is over with she can start to figure some things out. Guess I'll get down there then."

"Yeah, good luck with that. I'll be upstairs if things get violent."

Spike glared at her good naturedly and headed toward the door. He found her down the stairs wailing on an old bag that was giving off enough dust to nearly choke him.

"What's a lady like you doin' in a dump like this?"

Buffy spun faster than he thought possible and the next thing he knew her legs were wrapped around his waist and he was falling down on the mat behind him.

"Mmff, Buffy... luv!"

She pulled back and began covering his face with kisses, her hands scrambling to peel his jacket off.

"Weren't you the one sayin' we did this too much?"

She untucked his shirt and sat up. "I've been going crazy with everything and you weren't here. Why do you think I've been beating the hell out of that thing?" she asked, cocking her head toward the still swinging bag.

He sat up underneath her and pressed his lips to hers gently, finally managing to kiss her properly. "Told you I'd come and stay if you wanted me to," he whispered against her cheek before her hands pushed his shirt up over his head.

Buffy didn't respond, just kissed him again and ground herself down into his lap. He groaned as his cock hardened against her. He pushed her onto her back and leaned over her. "Let me take care of you."

Buffy nodded and slowed her frantic pace, allowing him to lead. He pushed her tank top over her head and bent to trail kisses down her chest until her came to her breasts. He could feel the tension radiating off of her and deciding to forget any teasing.

She moaned as his mouth made contact with her painfully hard nipples. His hands massaged her breasts as his mouth switched back and forth leaving neither one without.

She could feel his cock pressing into the juncture between her legs, and even though it was almost unbearable to feel their clothes separating them she laid back and enjoyed his ministrations. He seemed to pick up on her wish, however, and soon he was tugging her pants down and then unbuckling his belt.

She reached down wanting to wrap her hands around him. He gasped as she made contact with his sensitive flesh and she stroked him a few times before pulling him out and pushing his pants to his knees. He moved back on top of her and positioned himself between her thighs.

He kissed her sweetly before pushing in as slowly as he could manage. They both sighed when he settled inside her. They began moving, totally comfortable with each other after so much time together. He knew her body probably better than she did and he played it like a fine tuned instrument. For the first time there were no words between them. Just their gasps and moans as he moved in and out of her trying to make her forget about all the problems she was facing.

He felt her begin to tighten around him and he reached down to help her along before shuddering and spilling himself inside her. He kissed her temple softly and whispered nonsense into her ear until he was sure she was asleep. When he softened and slipped out of her and sat up. He scanned the room for a blanket and when he couldn't find anything he wrapped his coat around her and buckled his pants before laying down next to her.

If the dark circles under her eyes were any indication, she hadn't been sleeping very well. He put his arms around her and allowed himself to follow her into sleep.

***

"Spike?"

"Yes, luv?" he replied sleepily.

"I think... I think I need to forgive him."

Spike propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at her. "Your father?"

Buffy nodded and played with the collar of his coat. "I think that's what's been bothering me."

"Can you do it?"

She shrugged and he waited for her to speak again.

"He really fucked up, you know? I mean, really really fucked up."

"Yeah, pet, he did."

"But everyone does stupid stuff. Makes mistakes. I'm not perfect."

"And I've definitely done my fair share."

"But we're good people."

Spike nodded and she sighed.

"I want to. I just..." She closed her eyes and sat up slowly. "Let's just go upstairs. I should get Dawn some dinner. Tomorrow. If I can't tomorrow than it's just.. that's it." She looked at him then and he reached for her hand. "I'm just glad you're here."

"Me too, luv."

***

Spike watched Buffy during the funeral from behind her. Dawn was on his arm, trying not to cry too loudly, and Buffy...

She was distant and cold. And he didn't blame her. He knew she was dealing, he wanted to help her, but sometimes there wasn't anything he could do. She stayed until after the ceremony, and they were the only three left in the cemetery.

He noticed Dawn shivering and when he touched Buffy to get her attention she started and spun away from him.

"Just me, luv."

She sighed and her shoulders slumped. "Sorry."

He wanted to touch her, but figured she wouldn't want him to so he stood awkwardly for a moment. "Listen, pet, Dawn's getting tired and cold. Want me to take her back and then I can come get you if you want to stay longer?"

She didn't move for a moment and he wondered if she'd even heard him.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. I'll stay for a bit."

He nodded and debated for a moment but leaned in and kissed her softly anyway on the forehead. "I'll be right back."

She nodded and watched he and Dawn drive off before she turned around. She sighed and touched her forehead lightly where he'd kissed her. She knew she'd been treating him badly all day, but she couldn't take her mind off of her father.

She heard a crack of thunder and hoped it didn't start raining until Spike returned. She hadn't had the foresight to bring an umbrella and arriving home drenched and upset was not the way she wanted this day to end.

She looked back at her father's grave and stepped closer. She couldn't help being mad, she couldn't help that being abandoned made her unable to love him the way a daughter was supposed to love a father.

Then a thought occurred to her. She didn't have to love him, she didn't even have to really like him. She just had to let it go. Really, in some ways, leaving her had helped her grow as a person. She never would have been able to deal with Spike and his issues unless she'd lived through her mother's illness. She never would have come to Sunnydale, she'd probably be at UCLA or some other expensive and far away school that never would have introduced her to Spike and the family he'd given her.

She touched his headstone and felt the pain start to ease. She could do this.

"You did a lot of bad things. Made a lot of stupid mistakes, but I can live with that. I can forgive you, Dad. I hope you were able to reconcile some of those decisions with yourself, and I hope wherever you are, I'm not the thing holding you down."

Somehow, in the middle of it, she'd begun to cry. It wasn't the horrible sobs she'd let out when her mother had passed, just a few slow falling tears. The reality of the situation finally hit her, and it was hard to lose him, even if their relationship was strained. But it wasn't a weight on her shoulders anymore.

She closed her eyes and sighed when she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"You ok, luv?"

She nodded and allowed him to wrap his arms around her, leaning back into his embrace. "Thank you for today."

Spike kissed her temple softly and tightened his hold on her. "Let's get home."

Right as they made it into the car, the rain began to fall.

***

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the prodigal son returned."

"Hey, Wes. Look, I'm sorry about all thi-"

"Don't worry about it Spike, your sister spoke to me when everything started. I'm just glad you're ok." Spike ducked his head and scratched the back of his neck and Wesley couldn't help but be amused at his student's embarrassment. "Though I was a little offended that I was the only professor who didn't get the personal statement."

Spike took a seat across from Wesley and sighed. "I wanted to talk to you in person. Willow came without my permission because she didn't want me to be totally screwed. I'm sorry it took so long."

"I thought that might be the case. I'm glad she did, I was a bit worried. Not like you to miss classes."

"Yeah well, everything's much better now, completely taken care of," Spike said quickly wanting to get away from the subject. "I did some writing... a lot of it actually."

Wesley leaned forward and smiled. "Do you think you've got something?"

Spike shrugged. "It's not really organized, but I think it's better than anything else I've done so far. Would you help me?"

"I thought that was reason I'm here. Do you have anything I can look at?"

Spike pulled his bag in front of him and handed Wesley a few folders stuffed with paper. His professor looked at the mess then at him. Spike shrugged again. "Told you it wasn't really organized."

"Yes, well... I'll look through it this evening and let you know as soon as I can." Spike stood and thanked him. "By the way, do you think you'd be willing to come back and assist me for the rest of the semester?"

Spike stared at him for a moment. "You didn't replace me?"

"I did.. but it was really only meant as a temporary thing and to be honest... I'd really like to have you back."

Spike smiled broadly and grabbed Wesley's hand shaking it heartily. "Of course I'd love to be back. God, thanks Wes!"

"Don't worry about it, just be here."

Spike grabbed his bag and had Buffy on the phone before he was outside.

***

"Yes mom, yes. No, everyone does want you guys here. For Christ's sake of course I want you to be at my wedding." Xander sighed and rubbed his temples. "Well, they could but it's kind of tight quarters around here.... no it's fine mom, they can stay. I want them to."

"No you don't!"

Xander covered the phone and turned to his fiance. "I'm just trying to get rid of her, shut-up." He turned back to his desk. "No I wasn't talking to you... no we're fine. We're not breaking up! Mom, I have to go. Yes.. work.. and school. Yes, I'll call you later. Bye mom... bye, bye mother."

Xander slammed the phone down along with his head. "Why did we ever agree to this wedding?"

Anya pulled his head up and slid onto his lap. "Because it's my big happy day and I want it big and happy."

"Big you've got.. but with our families, happy? Not such an easy thing to come by."

Anya kissed him softly and smiled. "It'll be fine. We just have to get through."

Xander sighed and said nothing, just kissed his fiance with all the love he felt.

***

"Hey, baby."

"'lo, luv."

"You don't sound so great."

Spike sighed and leaned back in his bed. "Just missing you."

"I don't think that's it. Tell me."

"I... I just haven't heard from Wes in a while. He was supposed to call me a few days ago."

"I wish I didn't have such crappy news then."

"Oh Jesus, better just be out with it then."

"I'm not coming home as soon as I thought."

Spike was silent for a moment and she held her breath as she waited for him to answer. "When do you think you will be home?" he asked softly.

"I... It's Dawn, I feel like it would be cruel to take her away from L.A. when she's almost done with school. After she graduates she can come to Sunnydale or wherever she wants and I won't have to worry about her having someone to watch out for her. She'll either be with us or in dorms."

Spike threw his arm over his eyes and sighed. "Another month or so then?"

"Yeah..." She waited for him to say more but he didn't. "Spike-"

"No, it's alright, Buffy. I understand, I couldn't ask you to leave Dawn. You're doing the right thing, and I love you."

She let out a sigh of relief and he smiled when he heard it. "On the weekends though, we can still visit. I'll come down to Sunnydale or you can come up here."

"Yeah, of course, luv. Comin' this weekend, remember?"

Before Buffy could answer his other line beeped. "Hold on a mo', pet, other line." Spike pushed a button on the phone and brought it back to his ear. "'Lo?"

"Spike, it's Wes."

Spike swallowed, not sure if he wanted to hear what his professor had to say. "Yeah, what's going on?"

"I'm terribly sorry I haven't called, I just couldn't put it down."

"Couldn't put what down?"

"Spike, what you've written... It's pretty amazing. With the right editing, it could be a masterpiece."

Spike didn't say a word and Wes wondered if they'd been disconnected. "You there?"

Finally he found his voice, "are you serious?"

"What? Of course I am, I've been going through what you've got and figuring out how to put this all together. It will take some work, but I think it's going to be great. And another thing, don't worry about helping me out with classes, this is your assignment."

"Jesus... what can I say here?"

"Just be in my office Monday morning. I've got to be going."

"Yeah... thanks, Wes."

"On time, Spike!"

He heard the line click and switched back to Buffy. "You still there?"

"Yeah, who was that?"

"Wes."

Buffy waited for him to elaborate and sighed when he didn't. "And?"

"Oh... he liked it, what I wrote. Wants to polish it up, thinks it could be something."

"Spike that's great!"

"Yeah.. I guess it is," he said softly, a smile spreading slowly across his face that he couldn't help.

"Listen, why don't you come up this weekend and we'll celebrate. Let me take care of you for the whole weekend. This is really great, Spike. It's just what you've been waiting for."

"God, Buffy, never thought I would see the day."

"I'm so proud of you."

Spike smiled and chuckled. "I'll be there as early as I can this weekend, luv. I fully intend to exploit this situation to the best of my abilities."

"I can't wait."