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“Oh my sweet little babycakes! You’re alive! Hallelujah, praise Lordissa, lots and lots of monkey sex still hasn’t killed anyone! Now WHERE are my hunks of hunks of burning looooooove?” All of Buffy’s fears and concerns that had plagued her since she’d invited everyone over suddenly disappeared as Lorne caught her up in a giant bear hug. She inhaled deeply, taking comfort in her friend’s presence. Lorne always made everything better.

“They’re still getting dressed. Those two are worse than me!”

“Well God help us, that must be a sign of the Apocalypse to end all Apocali!” Lorne squeezed his friend hard. “Stop worrying sweetness.” He tilted her head up and waited patiently for her beautiful eyes to meet his. “We’re here for you, beautiful. No worries. Anyone that tries to rain on your parade will have to deal with me. And I sprout red horns than complement my evil green skin, you know!”

Buffy felt her eyes well up; Lorne was such an amazing friend. He always knew exactly what to say. Must be that whole psychologist thing. She tried to think of something appropriate to say, but nothing came to her.

“You mackin’ on our girl?” a deep British voice growled playfully. Lorne’s hand fluttered dramatically to his chest.

“In you own home? Mercy no! I wait till we’re on safer ground. I’m a lover, not a fighter!” He winked at the Twins in acknowledgement of their dual looks of gratitude. They’d caught the tail of his words, and it did them just as much good as Buffy. The moving moment was broken by the doorbell.

Robin and Gunn were framed in the doorway bearing three bottles of wine between them. Two dark red wines had bright blue ribbons tied around them; the bottle of rosé had a pink one.

“You dorkos!” Buffy laughed, ushering the grinning men inside.

“We thought it was creative,” Gunn protested, shaking hands with Will and Spike.

“Faith’s going to be a little late,” Robin informed Buffy. “She said something came up at the dojo.”

“Did she say what?” Buffy asked with concern, visions of the worst case scenario flitting through her mind.

“I don’t think it’s anything major,” Robin assured, “she didn’t seem too upset.”

“Hello, my chocolate covered strawberries!” Lorne exclaimed. Buffy blinked; Lorne was decked out in Spike’s “Kiss the Cook” apron. Where had he found that? “To the kitchen! The men are responsible for the party favors today!” Lorne hooked his arms through a bemused Robin and Gunn, who simply shrugged and played along.

“You know,” Robin murmured suggestively, “Faith isn’t here right now…” Lorne threw back his head and laughed delightedly. Buffy shook her head at their antics. She hadn’t realized she’d missed them so much! Granted, she’d been a little preoccupied…

“Thinking, kitten?” a voice purred in her ear. Buffy felt the familiar heat begin rising in her. Will was suddenly in front of her, forcing her back into Spike.

“You let me hangin’, pet.” His accent was rougher than normally, his blue eyes dilated with arousal. Something dangerous flashed through him, and Buffy felt her body respond. She whimpered when Spike trailed his hand up her thigh, his touch rough against her jeans. Will’s lips were inches away from her own; she could feel his warm breath.

“S-s-sorry!” she gasped, wishing Spike’s wandering hand would settle right where she needed it most.

“You’re not,” Spike murmured.

“But you will be!” Will promised, diving in and biting her on the neck. Buffy gasped as the pain flew straight to her core, a flood of moisture coating her now useless panties. And then they were gone.

Buffy stumbled backwards, dazed and confused. Spike chuckle flitted back to her. She looked up in time to see them disappear into the kitchen, her clit throbbing. Her eyes narrowed in anger. If they thought they could leave her hanging, they were dead wrong. She’d just take a minute in the bathroom and…the bell rang.

If looks could kill, the door and whoever was behind it would die. Painfully.

“Gonna get that, pet?”

Buffy whirled around and glared at a smirking Spike. Oh, those two were so going to get it. She took a threatening step towards him, and the bell rang again. His smirk just widened. Without a word, Buffy wrenched open the door, a pleasantly fake smile plastered on her face.

“Wills! Tara! What GREAT timing you have!” She head Spike laugh behind her. Fucking MEN.

“Buffy? Are you OK?” Willow asked with concern. Tara was looking at her oddly too.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Will and Spike are just being stupid little boys!” She shouted the last part towards the kitchen. Male laughter suddenly filtered out of the kitchen. Buffy’s eyes narrowed; what had they said?

“B-b-buffy?” Tara asked. There was something going on here, something they were missing. Buffy’s face suddenly settled into a not-exactly-nice smile.

“While the boys are busy, how about we go pick out the movies?” she suggested. For some reason, Willow and Tara felt like they were walking to someone’s execution.

************************** *********** **************************

“You’re a wanker.”

“Takes one to know one…ponce!”

“Are you following any of this?” Robin asked Gunn. As amusing as watching Will and Spike snark at each other was, it would be nice if he actually knew what they were saying…

“Yeah. You catch on after hearing it a couple of million times,” Gunn said wryly, popping a warm cookie in his mouth.

“Hey! No eating the party favors before it’s time!” Lorne chided.

“Yes task master!” Gunn grumbled.

“Now THAT has possibilities,” Lorne said with a wink. Robin looked up expectantly when the doorbell rang.

“Yo, B! Where you be!” Robin was up in a flash…and blocked by a smirking bleached blonde.

“Male bonding, remember?” the annoying Brit said.

“Spike, I’m warning you, if you don’t get out of my way they’ll be vacuuming up your ashes.”

“You’re soddin’ whipped,” Spike grumbled good naturedly. He watched as the man flew by with good humor.

“Well my lovely harem…shall we get this little show on the road?” The four remaining men gathered up their offerings of sugary goodness and made their way to the living room.

Faith and Robin were settled comfortably in one of the large, plush recliners. Willow and Tara were snuggled on the floor, backs against the coffee table, an array of movies stacked beside them. Buffy was chatting animatedly with Faith and Anya.

“When’d you get here Demon Girl?” Spike asked, setting down his tray of cookies and some sugary concoction Lorne had invented.

“With Faith. I was happy to learn Robin is giving her satisfactory orgasms on a regular basis.” All eyes turned to Robin, who was currently hiding his face against Faith’s shoulder, and the woman perched on his lap.

“Well it’s true,” she said with a mischievous grin.

“That calls for Mojitos!” Lorne exclaimed, setting his drinks down with a flourish. “And a Sea Breeze for me! Come to papa little one, he’s missed you so.”

Spike and Will settled themselves comfortably on the large couch, just enough space in between them for a Buffy-shaped object. She didn’t disappoint, settling herself happily next to her twinlets. Lorne opted to sit next to his favorite lesbian couple. That left Anya and Gunn with the rest of the couch.

The black man eyed the blonde with curious trepidation.

“Hello. I’m Anya, we met briefly at the last party, and you should be happy to know that your orgasm factor has risen by at least ten points since then.” Gunn had no idea what to say to that.

“You…rate people?” Buffy asked in disbelief.

“Of course. Someone’s orgasm factor greatly affects the direction of our relationship.” Spike and Will just laughed quietly; this was an every day occurrence and their ‘orgasm factor’ had always been high.

“Ah, well…thanks?” Gunn hedged.

“You’re most welcome. And don’t worry,” Anya said, placing her hand on Gunn’s unsuspecting thigh, “your factor was always above satisfactory.”

“So was Harris’s,” Will muttered. Buffy elbowed him sharply in the ribs for that comment. Even though she was incredibly pissed at her old friend, she’d invited him to this gathering. Well, she’d left messages as he’d refused to take her calls, but she’d sent a message through Gunn as well.

“Ready for the first movie?” Buffy asked. Willow and Tara giggled.

“Hit us, pet.” Buffy raised the silver remote and the opening titles started. Everyone in the room immediately protested, especially Lorne, who took the strongest line of them all.

“If any of you think I’m going to sit here and watch those two sexually ambiguous, untalented people attempt to sing and dance, you’re wrong. Justin needs a boyfriend, Kelly needs a good fuck, and I’d rather watch Glitter!”

Willow and Tara started cracking up.

“I think they’re pulling a fast one on ya,” Spike confided. Willow pulled out their real movie choice, The Sting.

“Now would we do that to you Lonreykins?” Buffy asked innocently. Lorne just harrumphed and settled next to Tara.

************************** *********** **************************

Buffy was sitting quietly, enjoying the movie, when an errant hand snuck up the back of her shirt. It started caressing the smooth, sensitive skin there, sending a shiver up her spine. Bad twins! But she refused to give them the satisfaction of squirming, and held herself rigidly still. Another hand tangled in her hair, teasing the small hairs on the back of her neck. This was so not fair! She closed her eyes, focusing all her will power on not moving.

“Now now, kitten,” a deep voice whispered in her ear, “none of that. Open those pretty eyes, we wouldn’t want your friends to get the wrong impression.” Buffy’s eyes flew open, glazed and unfocused. She was incredibly on edge, and those dastardly Twins knew it! When the hand on her back slipped into the waistline of her frilly panties, Buffy shot up off the couch like a spring.

“I…I’ll be right back!” she gasped, beating a hasty retreat. Luckily, most of the people in the room were too wrapped up in the movie. She was half way to the bathroom when inspiration struck; it might be two against one, but Buffy was one hell of an opponent. With a devilish smile, she turned the thermostat down and headed into the bedroom.

Back in the living room, Will and Spike exchanged meaningful looks. It wouldn’t due to leave Buffy alone for too long; that would just ruin all of their carefully planned fun.

“I’m just gonna make sure Buffy’s OK,” Will whispered to Spike, but loud enough that everyone could hear. A little awe made drifted from Tara, and they both grinned. If only she knew.

Will found Buffy in the bathroom, oblivious to the world and obviously trying to compose herself. Oh, that was no fun! He stealthily crept up behind the fiery blonde, a devilish grin on his face. He spun her around, savoring her startled gasp, and pressed her against the sink, his erection pressing intimately into her.

Buffy was caught by Will’s stormy gaze. He bent down and slowly licked her neck, his talented tongue moving with a deliciously wicked promise. His mouth traveled up to her ear, sucking the lobe gently and wrenching a moan from her lips. Shivers raced down her spine, and she pulled him closer, her heat searing him. She smashed her lips to his and…he was gone. Buffy opened lust-filled eyes, her brain sluggish and unresponsive. Will checked himself out in the mirror and adjusted himself, sending a saucy smirk her way.

“I really can’t wait to see the end of this movie,” he said, and strode out of the room. Buffy stared at him, mouth agape. Her eyes narrowed dangerously. She’d show those boys just who was in charge…just as soon as she found her sweat shirt.

A/N: I know, I'm torturing you. But I so promise that the up coming chapter(s) will be worth it!! And don't forget, reviews are the food my muse eats!





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