Spike was sniffing the air, an act that Superman was finding wildly amusing and fascinating. Meanwhile, the Scoobies were scouring the premises looking for any clues.
“Cologne. Strong cologne. Luthor wear cologne?” Spike asked Superman.
“He does,” Superman nodded, “And yes, it is strong.”
“Does he bathe in it?”
Superman chuckled. “Do you by any chance know what kind of cologne it is?”
Spike gave him a look, “Do I look like I know the names of colognes? I’m the bloody undead—“
“Isn’t that all the more reason to look into cologne?”
“Well, well, well. Not only does he save little kitties stuck up in trees, but he’s a comedian too.”
Buffy snickered, “Actually, Spike uses this Old Spice body wash—“
Both Superman and Spike looked at her. “What?” she said innocently.
“Pet, how do you happen to know that I use Old Spice body wash?” Spike demanded.
“Cause Angel used to –“
“All right, that’s it.” Spike said, throwing up his arms in exasperation. “Say no more before I heave. Now I smell like the bloody poof? I’ll be throwing that out,” he muttered. “Even if I have to smell like bloody Dial soap.”
Buffy rolled her eyes. “I’m willing to bet that whatever the cologne is, it’s Luthor’s. I don’t know of many vamps – present company definitely excluded – that worries about things like that. Unless you know, they were complete metrosexuals before their death. And I’m thinking that’s a major stretch.”
“Cologne aside, would you say I'm a bit of a metrosexual, luv?”
Superman and Buffy both looked at him oddly and then Buffy turned back to Superman. “So, we’ve got somewhat of a trace. He was obviously here, which this place has seen some bad scenes.”
“Sunnydale is on, what did you call it again?”
“It was on the Hellmouth. This place has always been rife with demon and vampiric activity because of that.”
“Would you say a lot of magic has been done here as well?” Superman asked.
“Tons. Why do you ask?”
“Forgive me for saying this, but Sunnydale seems to be somewhat of a mystical place. It’s real, and yet lots of things happen here that don’t often happen in other so-called ‘normal’ towns.”
“I’ll second that,” Spike muttered. “This place has enough energy bumbling about to power a small country.”
“My point exactly,” Superman agreed. “If Luthor is employing vampires and somehow giving them the ability to walk in the day, and he’s come here to do it, then he must know about the energy of the place. He must be aware of some magic’s. Or, he’s learning as he goes.”
“The question is, how do we go about finding him?” Buffy mused, “I mean, he’s supposed to be stranded on an island and yet he’s not, right?”
Both men started to answer, but she cut them off as she paced. “He must know the trouble he’d get into if you were to find him. Though he made no bones about having Lois attacked. . . though he had her attacked while he’s here. He’s a diabolical mastermind, I’ll give you that.”
“But,” Spike interrupted. “Not that bright. He came here. To a place that is rife with demonic and mystical forces. He’s got to know the search would take him here.”
“Not necessarily,” Superman said, “I had to do quite a bit of hunting around before I found it. There are many places that trumpet themselves as having the most haunted occurrences, or having the strangest town. Sunnydale is a spec on the map compared to other places. The Vampire Slayer is spoken of as almost a joke – complete myth.”
“And yet you were able to come across Buffy,” Spike drawled.
“Like I said, I get around.”
“Just how much do you get around?” Spike asked, narrowing his eyes at him.
“Excuse me?”
“With the ladies, mate.”
“Spike!” Buffy exclaimed, horrified. “God, that’s private…and he’s Superman—“
“So what? That means he doesn’t have needs? He is still a man. I’m a man despite my undead body—“
“And without a soul,” Buffy interjected.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the point. The point is, Superman is a man along with being the Man of Steel. A man I’m sure that has needs, and I know for a fact he’s got plenty of offers so he doesn’t need to settle for some wank to get his jollies.”
“Oh my God,” Buffy muttered. “Only you would be asking Superman if he has sex and wanks.”
“I’m not asking him if he wanks.”
“What is wank?” Superman asked.
“Jerking off,” Spike told him. “self-pleasure, choking the chicken, masturbation-“
“Thank you for every euphemism known to man on that too,” Buffy drawled.
“Well, there are a few more.”
“Of course there is. Spare us please!”
“So how bout it, Supes? You have a girlfriend?”
“That’s personal,” Superman told him diplomatically.
“Humor me.”
“I’d rather not.”
“So by not telling me I can only infer that you do have one. Who is she?”
“I didn’t say I had one. It’s. . . complicated.”
Spike rolled his eyes and looked at Buffy who had walked away from them to chat with Willow. “Yeah, I know all about complicated.”
“You love her,” Superman observed, “You love her a lot.”
Spike nodded, still watching Buffy. “I do. So listen…”
“Yes?”
Looking at Superman, Spike took an unneeded breath. “You’re stronger than me, you also are everything good wrapped up in one tight little package that would probably cause my brain to implode if I laid a hand on you, but I want you to know – Buffy’s mine. You can work with her – with us -- but she’s my girl and I’d really appreciate it if you kept away from her in a romantic way.”
Superman smiled, “Spike. I like Buffy, I think she’s an amazing woman, but I have no interest in her in that way.”
“Thank you.”
“If I may be frank?”
“Shoot.”
“I think she cares for you as well.”
Spike snorted, “You don’t know Buffy that well.”
“No, you’re right, I don’t. However, I have watched the two of you interact and I see a connection there. She might fight it, but it’s there.”
Spike allowed himself a moment of weakness, “You think so? Really?”
“I really think so.”
“Can you give me a specific time—no, screw it. Start going into that territory and we might as well have a sleepover and paint each other’s nails while we gossip. Just want to say thanks then.”
Superman nodded and smiled, “You’re welcome.”
“Maybe one day I could return the favor.”
Superman just laughed. “Maybe.”
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