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Ok, my lovely reviewers, I'm done teasing... you can spank me for being a tease, but you might have to get in line behind my hubby.

Spike and Buffy finally come face to face and discuss some issues.
Chapter 20
O’Malleys was packed with people from the skating competition. Spike scanned the crowd, finally spotting Anya’s outrageous hair. Xander followed Spike, heading to the table in the back. He heard her laughter first, it was sweet and unrestricted. As he came up on the group, he watched her swat a man on his shoulder, laughing with him. Jealousy roared in Spike, his inner demon coming forth, ready to claim what was his.



She looked up at him as he approached, his gait clear and concise, leaving her no doubt that he was coming for her. Her back straightened, chin lifted, and fingers threaded together on top of the table. She flipped her hair back and smiled, “William, Xander! It’s been a long time.”



A million questions formed in Spike’s mind. How have you been? Where were you? Why did you leave me? Xander scratched his head when Spike fell silent, just staring at her. “Yeah, Buffy. Been a while.”



“Yeah, oh. This is the gang… Kathy,” a bubble blond waved, “Anya you know,” Anya nodded their way, still glaring at Spike, “Tara,” the same dark blond that skated before Buffy smiled shyly, “And this is Andrew.” She leaned into Andrew, making Spike’s jaw ache. The blonde pip squeak looked like he couldn’t handle one beer.



Andrew stood up and practically knocked the table over. “Hey good to meet you too. Always good to have another male around. You know… hanging with all the ladies,” Andrew smirked, trying to look like a ladies man. Suddenly he got an excited look on his face and started to bounce on the balls of his feet. “Hey, your duster looks like the one on my Neo action figure. I bought it on Ebay. I also got this Jedi figure… it’s so cool…Boba Fett… the bounty hunter.”



Spike smiled knowingly, “Yeah, why don’t you write that address down.”



“Hey, you’re English right?” Andrew looked at Spike, wondering if he could be cool like him.



“Yeah,” Spike drawled, his eyes riveted at Buffy who was holding her head in the hands, shaking it slowly, knowing her game was over the minute Andrew opened his mouth.



“I’ve seen all the episodes of Doctor Who… not the Red Dwarf, though, because…” Spike stared at Andrew, amazed that this person kept talking. “It’s not on DVD yet.”



“Uh huh, that’s… uh… admirable. Buffy? Can we talk?” Buffy looked up from her hands. Her green eyes surprised that he finally talked to her.



“Uh, yeah…” Buffy stood up. Spike walked around the table to hold out her chair. She glared at him, wondering why he was acting like a gentleman. Then it dawned on her, he was waiting to get her alone. “Bar?” Spike nodded and followed Buffy to the bar. She found two stools in the middle of the bar, people milling around talking and watching the televisions. She looked over at him. His eyes didn’t hold the electric charge they once had. Dark bags under his eyes marred his face, making him seem paler than he was. His cheekbones seemed to jut out further; he didn’t look like he was eating properly. “So…”



“Yeah. Hey, give me a beer, mate.” Spike grabbed the bartender’s attention and gulped his beer. “Look… you didn’t have to…” Spike looked into Buffy’s eyes, lost in their glittering depths. The war between them still raging, he inhaled, hoping to calm down. “You didn’t have to leave…”



“Were you?” Buffy sat, looking straight at him. She knew she had to get through this, afterwards she could break down, alone, where no one could hear her cries of pain and anguish of her love.



“Huh?” Spike sipped his beer at a more leisure pace. His fingers itched to touch her, to hold her, to mold her.



“Were you going to leave?” Buffy didn’t let her gaze stray as she saw his emotions flitter across his face: surprise, anger, guilt, and longing. “Because, it looked like you still were there.”



Shock hit Spike, “You… you were there?”



Buffy ducked her head, “Yeah, had to store my stuff. Drove all night to get here…” Buffy looked back up, her eyes softened, “You never left.”



“No,” such a simple word yet it spoke volumes.



Her eyes glistened with restrained emotion. “Why?”



Spike stared back, once again lost in her. Her scent, her warmth, her eyes. “Never going to leave you.” His hand reached out to hers on its own volition. “Not like the others.”



She didn’t pull away from him instead she savored the warmth seeping into her skin. She stared at their joined hands. She shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't give him another chance. There was no way to erase the past, no way to forget.



“I… I never meant for it to go that way.” His thumb caressed the top of her hand, feeling the blood pump underneath the light layer of her skin. He felt calmer now, as if all his anger and insecurities melted away. “Wasn’t supposed to.. .”



Buffy looked up into his eyes.



“I was going to treat you like the goddess that you are. My golden goddess.” Buffy opened her mouth to say something but he lifted his other hand and rested a finger on her lips. “Got to get this out… I wanted you from the first moment I saw you, glaring at Hank on the dance floor. Knew, I knew it was more than lust.”



Spike looked at the bar, still resting his hand on hers. She slowly moved her wrist, rotating her hand under his until her palm met his. She threaded her fingers in his. Inhaling, he looked at their intertwined hands.



“I tried everything to get you to see me. Sure you went out with me once, but you were ready to cut me loose, I knew it. Then… the lame brain scheme with Hank. I wasn’t going to tell Joyce, you know. I would have handled him quietly, no one would have known. But, I couldn’t let you know that or you would have banished me, yeah?”



Buffy nodded. A tear ran down her cheek, he reached up and wiped it away.



“And, that night. I’m so sorry.” Spike choked, his emotions finally surfacing. “God, it would be so easy for me to say I didn’t know what I was doing, but I did.” A bitter laugh escaped his lips. “I wanted to possess you, show you who you belonged to, make you feel the same thing I felt… but you didn’t belong to me, did you pet? I belonged to you. I have from the very first dance.”



Buffy tilted her head, she heard the sincerity in his voice and her heart went out to him. Spike moved closer to her, resting his head against her shoulder.



“You consume me," his voice was so tiny, "filled me up to completion. I was so bloody scared when you were attacked. What if something happened to you? What if I did that to you? I couldn’t handle it.”



She withdrew her hand from under his. Trembling, Spike was afraid that she was leaving him again.



“Don’t. Please don’t,” he whispered. "But I did something to you, didn't I? I wrecked anything that was slowly building. I can never forgive myself for that. Never."



She wrapped her arms around his body, angling her body to his and brining his head to her neck. She patted his back, consoling him through his emotions.



“I decided, I wouldn’t touch you like that again…” his words tickled the sensitive skin on her neck. “But, I couldn’t bloody do it. I had to hold you, love you, and show you that I wanted more. I love you.” She felt hot tears drip down to her collarbone, washing over her skin. “I still do… bloody hell, look at me, crying like a nancy boy in the middle of a pub.”



“Don’t say that… no one is paying attention.” Her fingers ran down his back, smoothing his duster. His words washed over her soul, washing away any lingering pain and resentment. She already came to terms of their relationship, understood why things happened the way they did understood what he was saying. Could they have a future? Could they start over? Things still were too messed up, things needed to be said, needed to be mourned.

"And… and I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have run. I just couldn’t handle it.” She looked around the busy bar and restaurant and bent her head towards his. With a low voice she asked, “Want to get out of here?”



His eyes lit up and she saw the flicker of electricity they were missing. They walked out of the bar hand in hand into the night.

a/n: I revised this chapter a bit... I needed to add a little more emotion... Oh, if I get 5 reviews from 5 different people then I'll post next chapter quickly (and may be talked into posting the rest this weekend)





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