Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you for the reviews... as you can see Spike is getting desperate. Desperate men do desperate things without thinking.
Chapter 5
“You want us to get married? I can’t!” Buffy’s eyes looked into Spike’s. There was no way she could marry him. One thing in her life she promised herself was she would never lead the life her mother did. She spared him a glance; his eyes were the deepest blue she’s ever seen. “Look, we have to find another way.”



“There isn’t another way.” Spike stood up and started to pace around the room. His trap was set but she narrowly escaped or was it that she never entered it in the first place? This wasn’t good. Maybe he could lure her in again.



Buffy stood up and faced him. Her body spoke of desperation. “Find another way, please. You said yourself, bringing it to light wouldn’t be good for the company. There has to be another way.”



“Are you daft?” Spike stopped his pacing and looked at the tiny slip of a woman. “If the investors ever found out, it’d be my head.” How could this little woman be the spitfire that he had first met? She looked so fragile, so innocent. Spike wanted to hold her in his arms and make all the bad things go away, if only she would let him.



She looked so compassionately at him, “I know, but William, it’ll break her. One more wrong to shame her, you know? I can’t do that to her.”



Spike stalked over to her and grabbed her shoulders, “What do you want me to do, give up my career?” He shook her body once, trying to reign in his anger, but it was obviously too far gone. Her eyes were wide and glistening with moisture. He could tell he was scaring her, but she was being difficult. If only she would agree, he could make the pain go away. “Here’s the deal, I’ll pay the money back to the company, and the books will be even then. Hank can pay me back over time. No one would be the wiser. Then if someone does find out I can explain that I couldn’t put my wife through that. Don’t you see that, woman?” His eyes burned into her, trying to will her into agreeing.



Buffy stepped back, extricating herself from his grasp. She desperately tried to come up with another solution. “Why marriage?” Spike looked over at her and breathed in heavily. “I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”



Spike’s eyes closed for a moment blocking his pain from her. A tell-tale twitch in his jaw told her he was trying to reign in his temper, but he was not succeeding, “Why is that?” Spike briefly wondered why she didn’t want to marry him. Lots of women were lining up in the wings to have just one night with him, why was she having such difficulty with a lifetime? It was more than he offered anyone else.



“William, please. We have to find another way.” Her pleading fell on deaf ears. He felt the blood rush through his arteries and veins. She was rejecting him! That’s what she had tried to do this afternoon and what she was doing now. Anger boiled up in him. He could feel it start in his legs, washing over his torso, and finally heading up to his brain. Frustration, loss, and pain were running through his stunned mind as he faced off with Buffy.



“Are you already spoken for? Is that it?” Incredible jealousy bubbled within him, overriding his anger. Was she seeing another man, is that why she had tried to break it off earlier today? Someone she thought was better than him? Was another man spending time with her, touching her, kissing those sweet lips, taking her out?



Shocked at the insinuation, Buffy gaped at him, “Oh course not! I… I don’t love you, that’s why. I could never love someone like you.” Spike couldn’t believe his ears. This woman was telling him she could never love him! And, what was that comment about ‘someone like’ him? Obviously, she thought she was better than him. Damn bloody bitch!



Three quick strides later, Spike grabbed Buffy and hauled her towards his chest. “Don’t say nasty things you don’t mean, little girl.” His lips came down with bruising force. She twisted and turned, trying to free herself from his grasp, but he only held on tighter. One at a time, his arms snaked around her…holding her more closely and fiercely than before. Forcing her lips to part and their teeth to clash, Spike picked up her slight form from the ground and headed over to the couch. A faint taste of coppery blood hit her tongue as he mashed himself into her, she wasn’t sure if it was hers or his. Struggling, she tried to whip her head away, but by now, she was firmly seated on his lap. One hand held the back of her neck still and the other tightened around her waist. The frantic and violent kiss started to become gentler. A tip of his head one way, the soft puckering of his lips, the movement of his fingers on her waist all made Buffy want to give in. Her inner voice reminded her that this was wrong, that he was evil, that he had grabbed her and kissed her, and it even compared him to Hank. Despite all that, her arms wiggled free and crept around his neck, seemingly of their own volition, touching the soft hair above his collar. Noticing the slight change, Spike wanted more. He wanted everything from her. Softening his lips more, he let up on the pressure against her, letting her lips return to a plumper state. He licked her bottom lip, wanting her to open up for him. The struggle in her brain intensified as new sensations assaulted her body. Her pursing her lips closed and pushing on his chest alerted Spike that he had not won this round. Holding on to her waist, Spike refused to let go. He did pull his head back to look at her. She was an angel in his arms and it was like heaven when she cooperated with the snogging. He could tell she was even enjoying the kisses. Why did she stop them? He rested his forehead against hers. “Don’t… no… don’t you see. It could be so good between us. Didn’t you feel it?” Buffy shook her head, trying to break the contact he had. “Baby, we’d be perfect. Please, there is no other way. You’ll see, baby. I know you felt it, too.”



Buffy struggled and he finally let go, letting her stand. She turned around with her fingers at her mouth, touching the bruised skin, “Ask me again, why I wont marry you.” Her voice held poison as she watched him run his hand through his hair. “How? How can you do that and think its ok? The only thing I feel for you is disgust.”



Spike sat with his feet planted on the floor. A hysterical laugh formed, “Don’t you see, you silly bint? It’s the only way we can protect ourselves? It could be wonderful, pet. We have the passion.” Breathing heavily, he peered at her from his position. She was walking away from him, wringing her fingers together as she walked slowly into the kitchen. He heard clattering sounds and water running briefly. Deciding he should see what she was doing, he followed. She stood with her back to him, fiddling with a coffee pot. “Pet? What are you doing?”



“I won’t marry you, William,” she said, so softly, he almost didn’t hear her over the percolating machine.



“Buffy, love…” her back stiffened at his term of endearment, “pet, it’s the only way to protect your mum. You want to do that right?” Buffy moved over to a drawer and opened it up and took something shiny out. She stared intently on the object in her hand. Spike walked slowly behind her and touched her shoulder. He peered over her head to look down at the diamond ring she held within her hand. It looked like an engagement ring. Spike surmised it must be her mothers. “I’m sorry Hank put you in this position.” She shrugged off his hand and he stepped back. He knew silent tears ran down her face, but he couldn’t stop this, it was what he wanted, she was what he wanted. She put the ring into the drawer and picked up something else. “I don’t want to hurt you, Buffy, but it’s the only way to protect her. Don’t you see?”



“She still loves him, you know? After all the lying and cheating, she still sees him as the man she thought she married. I will never do that, William.” Buffy stayed silent for a moment. The only noise in the apartment was the coffee percolating and their breathing. “I can’t marry you.” She turned around to face Spike, “But… what if everyone thought I was your… if we were involved… would that do?”



“What?” Spike looked over at the woman, with a determined face and her eyes were filled with tears, she faced him with an alternative. “Pet, no. You don’t want that…”



“I will not marry you. If… if you are serious with the investors… just say I’m your mistress.” Buffy moved over to the coffee pot, pouring it into two cups. Spike leaned against the opposite counter.



“But, pet… don’t lower yourself to mistress status… it’s…” Spike was at a loss for words.



“Make it so with Hank. I won’t cut you out of my life. Here…” she handed over a key to the apartment. “This should be proof that we are… involved. We can have dinner or something once a week. Tell whoever whatever, I don’t care. Just take care of it. Protect my mom.” Spike felt bad, had he just defeated her? Had he just broken the strength that he’d admired so much?



“Buffy, no. Don’t you see? I’ll marry you, it’ll be OK. You don’t have to be…” This wasn’t supposed to happen. She was supposed to be his wife, not be his…. mistress.



Buffy slowly looked up and directly into his eyes, “I don’t want to marry you, Mr. Winthrop… I cannot offer you that. What I have offered… it should be enough for your precious stockholders.” Buffy dumped her cup of coffee out in the sink. “I really don’t feel like company. Please lock the door when you leave.” She stepped out of the kitchen and disappeared into the bedroom, firmly shutting the door. William stood in the kitchen, staring at the key for a long time. Breaking out of his reverie, he left the apartment barely remembering to take his suit jacket and duster with him.





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