No one seemed to know where Buffy lived; every person he spoke to; Darla, Cordy, Angel; they all gave him the same address that Drusilla had, suggesting that they too had no idea what was truly going on in Buffy’s life.
The only people who knew where she lived were her two friends, Xander and Willow, but they weren’t telling him a thing.
So he had to wait until Monday morning to speak with her, and he could only hope that someone else didn’t get there first. That would be the last thing he needed, and it was likely that Buffy would never speak to him again if he didn’t tell her the truth in person. If he couldn’t explain exactly what he had thought, and exactly why he was so wrong.
But Buffy didn’t show on Monday morning, or Tuesday morning for that matter.
Joyce said she hadn’t been into work either, and though she was being lenient with the hours, she was in dire need of a reliable worker and if worst came to the worst, she might have to let Buffy go.
Of course, this would be Spike’s fault, and there was no way he could let that happen. No way at all.
He was certain the only reason she hadn’t been to school or work was because she didn’t want to run the risk of seeing him; having to speak to him after he stood her up, and he was desperate to set things right for her, before she got herself into any more trouble.
“I’m not certain where she lives,” Joyce said, “But I know its close by. She said that on the first day when you offered to run her home in the Desoto.”
“Mmmm.” Spike said. Now he knew that Buffy didn’t want him seeing and judging her by her home, he couldn’t be certain that she hadn’t just refused his lift so she could keep him away. He told his mother this, and she added;
“I sent her home to collect something once and she couldn’t have been gone for more than ten minutes before she was back with it, meaning she can’t live anything more than five minutes away from here.”
Spike liked that reasoning, and his mother closed the gallery early so they could knock on doors and ask if anyone knew a small blond, seventeen year old girl called Buffy.
It was a last resort after all.
They split up, taking opposite directions and agreeing to meet up again in an hour’s time, back at the gallery.
It didn’t take Spike long to realise that the area they were searching, wasn’t a particularly pleasant one.
Doors were slammed in his face before he could even ask about Buffy, and doors were slammed in his face before people even bothered to consider his question. It was hopeless. The few who did listen to him, didn’t know anything, and Spike was rapidly beginning to feel as if he were fighting a losing battle.
It was like a dance. One step forward, two steps back. In fact, his whole goddamned relationship with Buffy to date had been a bloody dance.
Each time they took a step forward; she did something that made him think maybe the others were wrong about her; then he would discover something inaccurate that would force them two steps back again.
The only problem was, this whole dance was entirely his own fault.
He was the one who was far too quick to judge her, and now the whole thing had blown up in his face, with Buffy seemingly disappearing off the face of the earth.
“Hey kid.” Said the voluptuous brunette who opened the next door he knocked on. “You lost?”
In her arms she held an infant who was beginning to wail and she scolded him half-heartedly, before continuing to Spike;
“We don’t get much of your sort ‘round here.”
Momentarily forgetting his Buffy-finding-quest, Spike felt mildly insulted by the brunette’s words.
“My sort?” he repeated, turning her statement into a question.
The woman stepped back to look him up and down. “Upper middle class.” She declared easily. “English and living in America, so obviously in the money. Going through a rebellious spell. Probably dating a cheerleader. How’ma doing?”
Spike glared at her. “Right on all counts, bar the cheerleader.”
The girl laughed, and the kid in her arms stopped crying for a moment.
“Look,” she said, “I’m moving out of this place later today- got a new job out in LA and I’m leaving this dump behind for good, so I don’t really have all tat much time just to stand and chat…”
“Oh, right.” Said Spike, “Well I make it quick. I’m actually looking for someone.”
The woman shifted the baby in her arms, “I’ll help if I can.”
“Buffy.” Spike said. “Buffy Summers. It’s a long shot, but I know that she lives around here somewhere and…” he noticed an immediate change in the brunette’s stance, and he paused before saying, “Wot?”
The girl chuckled slightly, though her eyes had darkened. “Oh, this is rich.” She said. “You’re the famous Spike, aren’t you?”
He quirked an eyebrow at her.
“Heard of me?”
“Yeah I’ve heard of you. In fact, B told me all about you.” She set the small boy back down onto the ground and he crawled at full speed, back into the house. “Now, seeing as we only just met, I really hate to be a bitch, but hey- I’m a well connected girl, and if you don’t get out of my sight within the next ten seconds, I am going to unleash some serious pain on you, you little dick. No one stands my girl up and goes on thinking they can get away with it.”
Spike held his hands up immediately, in the hopes of showing her that he wasn’t a threat.
“Please,” he said, “I don’t want her to forgive me- I don’t deserve it- I just want to tell her how sorry I am.”
“Sure you do.” The angry looking brunette replied. “And I suppose you’ll never hurt her again either, and I bet you think you can take real good care of her.”
“I just want to tell her how sorry-”
“You know what? You men are all the same. Why do you always have to pick at and hurt the weaker girls?” the dark haired woman looked all but ready to blow a gasket. “This girl has been through so much- so much crap in her life- and the last thing she needs is another complete jerk thinking he’ll have a little go with her. She is not like that. No matter what you’ve been told Spike, Buffy Summers is not a slut- she never has been, and she never will be, and no matter how much you apologise and sweet-talk her, there is no way she is going to sleep with you, so just get the Hell out of here.”
Spike had to take a moment to marvel at just how very much Buffy’s few friends cared for and protected her. First Willow, and now this woman.
Buffy was obviously a very well-loved girl, even if only a few people could see her true worth.
“I’m not trying to sweet talk her.” He said, hoping his voice sounded as earnest as he felt. “I swear to you. She never has to see me again if she doesn’t want to; but I can’t have her living her life, thinking this is her fault.”
“Don’t you get it?” the woman demanded, “Buffy doesn’t want to see you know. She told me as much this very morning. She’s sick and tired of being messed around and looked down on Spike. If you didn’t want to take her out on a date, then why the Hell did you ask her?”
Spike’s head dipped down and suddenly the floor seemed very interesting to him.
“It’s a long story.” He muttered.
“Do you know how long it’s been?” the woman asked, her voice slightly softer now. “How long it’s been since someone looked at her the way you did. How long it’s been since someone other that Xander, Willow and I even spoke to her as if she were a human being?” the woman shook her head, looking at Spike with disgust. “I don’t know how you could do that to someone so wonderful. How you could build her hopes up; make her think that there really are good people in the world after all, and then shatter them. Break her heart.”
Spike felt the weight on his chest like a stack of bricks.
“I’m so-”
“What part of- get the hell out of here- don’t you understand?”
“I just-”
“Get the Hell out of here!”
“But I need to-”
“Seriously? It’s like you want me to kick your upper-middle class ass!”
Spike groaned. Over-protective friends were all well and good, but this woman knew where Buffy was, and she wasn’t looking all too likely to tell him.
“Listen, you have to believe me; I just want to-”
“Faith, what’s going on?” Buffy was looking at her friend as she appeared in the doorway, holding the small child that the brunette had just put down. “I heard yelling, are you-”
Faith stepped aside, and Buffy froze when she saw Spike standing on her doorstep. Practically inside her grotty little home.
“Spike… What are you…”
He was staring at her so hard; she could practically feel his eyes boring holes in her like red hot lasers. She’d never felt so self-conscious in her life, as she stood there in the doorway to the dump she called a home, holding a ten month old boy in her arms.
“B…uffy.” Spike said falteringly. Now he’d finally found her, he wasn’t at all sure what to say.
“I told him to get lost,” the girl called Faith said instantly. “But he ignored me. Sorry B.”
“It’s okay Faith.” She replied, “Listen, you’ve got a long day of travelling ahead of you, so you should get back to your packing.”
“Buffy, if he’s going to bother you then I’m not going to move to-”
“Faith I’ll be fine. We’ve been over this.” She glanced sideways at Spike, hoping he wasn’t really listening as she said in a smaller voice, “I’ve got enough money to put Harry into day care now anyway, so it doesn’t matter that you won’t be around to look after him during the day. Don’t worry about it.”
Faith looked guilty, and Spike was still trying to run through what Buffy had just said.
…I’ve got enough money…Harry into day care…Don’t worry…
She had a baby? A son?
“Buffy, I swear. If ever you need me, just pack your bags and get on a bus to LA. I’ll be there for you girl- I’ll make room for you at my new place, it’s not a problem.”
Buffy smiled gratefully, and Spike felt as if he were interrupting a private moment.
“I’m gonna miss you so much.” Buffy said as she wrapped her arms around the other girl. “But it’s cool- I promise. I’m a big girl now; I can handle myself. Thanks to you.” She emphasised.
“Just make sure you don’t let jerks like this-” she jabbed her thumb in Spike’s direction, “Play you. If you get hurt, I’ll be back in a heartbeat and ready to castrate.”
Buffy giggled, and the baby in her arms squirmed; demanding to be put back down, making Buffy giggle some more.
“Get on with your packing.” Buffy instructed, and she watched her friend wander back into the house. Then she turned back to look at Spike again, and there was something different in her eyes.
It looked like humiliation.
“Why did you come here?”
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A/N: Kudos to Klai for letting me use your dancing metaphor- I thought it was about time I bunged that in there. Plus, a big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and all the others before that. Over 130 reviews for just seven chapters is some kind of new record for me, so thank you guys very very much.
Lots of love, dee xx
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